A vent about how awkward I am :(
I think I need help, seriously. I'm so shy/socially awkward sometimes, it's ridiculous
Before I start, just a warning: I am going to be venting. I'm well aware of the fact that in the big scheme of things, my problem is very insignificant, not even a problem at all. But at the moment it's a big deal to me and I just need to vent.
My boyfriend asked me if I wanted to come to this jazz show downtown with him, and I said yes, sure. He said he'd pick me up at 7:15 that night (being tonight).
Unfortunately, this is also the night my mom chooses to invite my aunt, uncle, two teenage cousins, my grandparents, and a close family friend who is like a cousin to me, over to supper. It's not a problem that I'm leaving early to go to the show. The problem is that I am expected to introduce my boyfriend (he's relatively new) to all of them. This is where my problem comes in. I'm having a mini panic attack just thinking about it. I don't know why, but I feel UNBELIEVABLY uncomfortable at the thought to introducing my boyfriend to my extended family. I'm not ashamed of him, and I'm not ashamed of my family, but I just can't do it. Just typing about it makes me want to dig a whole and hide in it.
I've never liked being the centre of attention, it's a well known family joke. They tell stories of how when I was very little I'd walk into a room, and if anyone said "Hey, Erin!", causing everyone to look in my direction, I'd burst into tears and run and hide. I've always dreaded family birthday parties, where everyone watches me and ooohhhs and aaaaahs at the presents I unwrap. I try so hard to just laugh it off, but I don't know why it bothers me so much. I've met my boyfriends family, and that was absolutely fine, no problem.
I just wish I could do the same, I wish I could be more comfortable around people, my FAMILY nonetheless.
Before I start, just a warning: I am going to be venting. I'm well aware of the fact that in the big scheme of things, my problem is very insignificant, not even a problem at all. But at the moment it's a big deal to me and I just need to vent.
My boyfriend asked me if I wanted to come to this jazz show downtown with him, and I said yes, sure. He said he'd pick me up at 7:15 that night (being tonight).
Unfortunately, this is also the night my mom chooses to invite my aunt, uncle, two teenage cousins, my grandparents, and a close family friend who is like a cousin to me, over to supper. It's not a problem that I'm leaving early to go to the show. The problem is that I am expected to introduce my boyfriend (he's relatively new) to all of them. This is where my problem comes in. I'm having a mini panic attack just thinking about it. I don't know why, but I feel UNBELIEVABLY uncomfortable at the thought to introducing my boyfriend to my extended family. I'm not ashamed of him, and I'm not ashamed of my family, but I just can't do it. Just typing about it makes me want to dig a whole and hide in it.
I've never liked being the centre of attention, it's a well known family joke. They tell stories of how when I was very little I'd walk into a room, and if anyone said "Hey, Erin!", causing everyone to look in my direction, I'd burst into tears and run and hide. I've always dreaded family birthday parties, where everyone watches me and ooohhhs and aaaaahs at the presents I unwrap. I try so hard to just laugh it off, but I don't know why it bothers me so much. I've met my boyfriends family, and that was absolutely fine, no problem.
I just wish I could do the same, I wish I could be more comfortable around people, my FAMILY nonetheless.
Being awkward as a child is what defines you as a person later on in life.
occultculture, October 29th, 2009 at 07:50:02pm
ERIN YOU ARE MY TWIN! I only introduced my boyfriend to my mom and step dad and that was the worst day of my life ;(
Just throw him in the room like "k this is the boy bai" ;D ;D
k not really. It'll have to be done eventually so get it over now. Of course it will be awkward, all the questions and stares etc etc dont think of them as family, just think of them well known strangers? idk really im no help ;(
Olivia Wilde., October 26th, 2009 at 04:56:24pm