I am not immature, merely happy...

Justin is coming to see me this weekend. He is coming on Friday and staying until Sunday, possibly Monday. We have this grandiose plan of smoking and drinking and watching movies all weekend. I bet we'll run out the first day =P...but I am pretty excited. He is paying something like $50 in gas to his friend just to come see me. I am amazed and quite happy. I keep dreaming about him. I know I'm setting up this weekend to be the most amazing weekend ever and there is a good chance it will be nothing close to what I am imagining. The last time I hung out with him it was pretty amazing until I met Kyle and thought I'd like him better. But in the end Justin won. Kyle is a good kid, but that's just it...he's a good kid. I'm not. And I can't pretend to be for him. I can't pretend that I don't drink and I don't smoke. I can't pretend that I think Justin is a bad person (which I actually said to Kyle =[) when in reality I think Justin is amazing. I have to be me and when I talk to Kyle I'm not me. When I talk to Justin its the pure, true me that I rarely let anyone see, not even my closest friends. I am not ashamed of myself when I am talking to him. I feel like and individual. And I feel dangerously close to being lost in some sort of dreamland. I like him. I'm not saying that as a girl with a crush, I'm just saying as a simple fact, I like this man. He makes me smile when no one else can. When I talk about him my face lights up like it never does. There's just something about Justin that I can't describe that draws me to him and has since I first saw his profile and his crazy picture of him firebreathing =] And I don't care that I admitted that. I am focused, mature, and aware of the situation. I am clearly speaking. My feet are grounded, I am not floating. I am simply enjoying the life I am living, enjoying talking to someone who understands me, the first person to understand me since I left Storm. That is the truth...You can try to pick this blog apart but I don't see the flaws. I am saying my true honest feelings and there is no crime in that...