Losing my best friend....

I've been sitting alone a lot lately. My best friend/ room mate moved in with her boyfriend...and she's been lying to me and making up stories to stay away. She had this plan last Tuesday to have this epic movie night until 8am on Friday. Well she got sick, apparently and told me she went home for the weekend. We ended up having movie night on Monday night...and I figure out she was at her boyfriend's house Saturday night and Sunday, not her house. And our movie night consists of 2 movies and she goes to bed at 3am. I asked her to stay tonight and she makes up all these excuses, never saying yes or no. Then she calls me balling her eyes about mumbling about how she went to visit her great grandma and her great grandma "has that look in her eyes that someone gets when they are about to die" and she tries to bail on our hall meeting and room inspection and obviously staying home for once. Her grandma is like 95 and has been in the nursing home in bed for a veryyyy long time. She comes back for the meeting but ditches me right before room inspection. She sniffles around the whole time she is here. BTW, she is the biggest drama queen I know, I guess she didn't think I could tell when she was putting on the dramatics.

I just don't know what to do.She hasn't been here in probably a week and a half, maybe even two weeks to stay the night except for yesterday. We are in college and her parents are paying for her room and board to stay here. I feel like she is losing her mind and I am losing my best friend. She talks about getting MARRIED to this guy she has been dating for a couple months. She is 19! She counts all the time they've known each other as time they've dated. So six months. I should have done that with my ex boyfriend. Then we would have been dating for around 4 years. She is getting to be so ridiculous. But if I say this to her she will hate me. If she thinks she is right then there is no one that can convince her otherwise, you can't even make a suggestion or she will be highly offended, probably cry, and stop talking to you. Thats what started this bullshit to begin with. But I'm not going into that.

I just had to write this blog to get it out. I've been thinking a lot lately. And I feel like I am losing my best friend, my only friend, my sister. I know I am losing her. She is nothing like she was before. I am starting to hate her and it hurts me so bad to say that. She just isn't Anna, she isn't there for me, she doesn't care about me. She only cares about herself and her future with her boyfriend. It might sound like I'm just jealous but that is far from the truth. I love her boyfriend, he treats her great. But he's not looking at her future right now. He is 26 and has a 2 year old daughter, he is ready to go buy a real house, get married, settle down. He has a pretty stable job and he is doing good. Anna on the other hand is a sophomore in college. He isn't thinking of that when he lets her spend the night and tells her he wants to marry her. She is only 19...and now she is dropping out of college. I get to watch my best friend morph into something she never was, never wanted to be. I get to watch her die. And I am alone.