Breakin's what the heart is for

I really wonder why people go through so much heartbreak in their life. I know I'm not the only one...In the end, what is the point? Of course, we try not to fall into the same traps and get our hearts broken...but its hard because we are human and full of emotion. Easily influenced by actions and words of others, we are all sensitive in our own ways. Some say the heartache now is just what we have to go through until we find our true love or our complete happiness, or whatever we are seeking. But we all know that there is no such thing as perfection. Even when we are older and find our true love or our dreams of getting the job we wanted come true, its not like its all easy from then on. We have to fight to keep who we love and what we love. We fight with our spouses, we have drama at work, nothing is EVER perfect. If you are the type of person who looks at the glass as half empty, you know what I'm talking about when I say it all seems pointless sometimes.

But I think there is a reason to this, a point. Think about it, if you never had your heart broken, suffered a major loss, or been through some terrible emotional turmoil, where would you be in life? What kind of life experience would you have? And would you be thankful for the good things in life? I don't think so. If a parent spoils their child by giving them whatever they want whenever they want then they will never learn to appreciate what they have. So if nothing bad ever happened to us then we wouldn't appreciate the good things as much. Do you remember the first time you had your heart broken? I remember mine. You really don't know what you have until it is gone. You are so happy then one day its taken away from you...and you realize maybe you were too comfortable in the situation to really be thankful and savor the time you had. From then on you learn to love every minute you are happy...and you hate every minute that you aren't.

I am the type of person who feels like the world is crashing down when something bad happens to me. So many times I've had a major disappointment that just wrecked my world. Whether it be being treated like shit by a guy, not getting the part I wanted in theater, or even getting a bad grade on a paper that I thought I did great on, I feel this terrible ache in the bottom of my stomach and I am profoundly sad. It never used to be like this, I never used to care. I hate feeling that way...but on the other hand, when something good happens I feel so amazing, but scared at the same time. I am thankful and I pray hard that it will last. Bad stuff has happened to me, but in the end I am grateful. I know now what to do in certain situations. And I know how to guard my heart while at the same time enjoying that amazing feeling you get when something goes your way.

I love life. A lot of times I don't want to live anymore, but then I look at the world through a different perspective and I realize the beauty in it all. The colors of the leaves in the fall, the pure white of the snow in the winter, the blossoming flowers of the spring, and the green grass of the summer. The smiles on a young childrens' faces, the warmth of a hug, the first kiss with a new boyfriend (those fireworks that go off behind your eyelids and the butterflies in your stomach). There's even beauty in the breakdown, the cinematic way your world falls apart and that one person who comes in and saves you. It's all worth it. The air you breath, the laughs you share with friends, the smile of a complete stranger that somehow never fails to brighten your day. It all makes you feel human, and more importantly glad to be alive.

I can be crying and thinking my world is ending but all I have to do is take a walk in the woods, take a deep breath, and take in the beauty of my world, the beauty in the breakdown, the laughter through the tears.