Too Much Too Soon

The holidays are approaching. Happy times for all. I have been sad for a few days now and I never realized why until yesterday. So many people in my life have left me around the holidays and i am afraid I can't be happy. These four people have all left.

Grandma- I miss you so much. I think about you all the time. You were there in my life, everyday. I am the person I am now because of you. You were always so strong and I looked up to you. I know you weren't the same person you were before after your stroke but that was ok. You were still there. When you were in the hospital, it was hard. Seeing you lie there, helpless. It wasn't you. I knew you were dying but I didn't want to believe it. I am still not over the fact I wasn't there the day you left us.

Grandpa- Your death was not supposed to be. I can still remember the phone call at seven in the morning. I am still upset I never saw you before that time. I regret it everyday. I know how much you went through in your life- being a child prisoner in the concentration camps- and you aren't here anymore. I wish I did more with/for you. I feel horrible.

Will- I still can't believe it. Your one year anniversary is coming up. I don't know why you did it. You were the strongest guy I knew. All it took was one time and you are gone. I hate looking at your Facebook knowing you haven't been on. I hope you are reading all the comments we are leaving for you. I am still waiting for you to come on and laugh at all of us for being so sad and sappy. Please continue watching over us.

Megan- I want my big sister. You left us too soon. I never knew you. Three days was not enough. I never wanted mom to have another kid because I knew it wouldn't be the same. I hope you like the tattoo I got for you. You are going to be 21 soon. I think about what we would do if you were alive. I have one of the only pictures of you on my mirror. I still think to this day if they tried you would be alive. I need you.
Posted on November 30th, 2009 at 12:10pm


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