Eh, eh. There's nothing else I can say.
mmmkay here i go.
So we'd been going out for six months. I probably saw him the equivalent of 2 months if I saw him on a regular basis. At the end it was becoming about once a month. I was getting my hair done and my phone kept going off so she took a break and I got to my phone. He left me six pages breaking up with me, claiming that life wasn't getting better for him in CT so he was going to Vegas to become a poker dealer. He didn't want to tell me cause he thought I'd try and stop him or make him take me with him. I cried for like 3 days straight. Then he went into the whole cliche "I was selfish, but of course it was all his fault" routine.
A few weeks later he texted me and wanted pictures. STUPID STUPID STUPID. I did it, btw. I figured, he will never come see me. It's all in fun. Again, STUPID. He was willing to come over at midnight to have sex with me cause he was "deprived". A week later I asked him what his deal was. He said that his roommate had his phone. I cried again. And again it was my fault. But see, I don't know if I can believe him. He is a compulsive liar. Like legit. He lied to me so many times. But if it was the roommate- FUUUUUUUCK.
His recent ex (stupid bitch) thinks we are like friends. She wrote to me on facebook and was like "Josh has a new girlfriend and is really happy. Thought you should know." I asked her how she knew and she was like "he told me" so I went off on him. He broke up with me because timing sucked and I deserved better. His words. I said some not nice things. A few days later he was like "what girl" so I told him that he told his ex he had a new girl. "I know what I said. She was trying to get back with me and I wanted her off my back." Almost exact words. So I was happy. He told me we couldn't be back together cause he was selfish. Duh. Then a few texts later he was like "I have someone else" lolwut. I told him that wasn't true but then he tried to tell me he said he knew Casey would try to make me mad at him, and thats what he meant. I was pissed. And he had the nerve to tell me to never talk to him again cause nothing is gonna happen between us.
And the sad thing? I want that stupid fucker back. He was my first everything. I had such a good time when I was with him. He still thinks I'm miserable and unhappy. Yeah, I was. I TOLD HIM the end of the year sucked for me because I lost so many people in my life so close together. I had to up my meds. I'm better. But he doesn't believe me. And I can't get my mind off him.
So we'd been going out for six months. I probably saw him the equivalent of 2 months if I saw him on a regular basis. At the end it was becoming about once a month. I was getting my hair done and my phone kept going off so she took a break and I got to my phone. He left me six pages breaking up with me, claiming that life wasn't getting better for him in CT so he was going to Vegas to become a poker dealer. He didn't want to tell me cause he thought I'd try and stop him or make him take me with him. I cried for like 3 days straight. Then he went into the whole cliche "I was selfish, but of course it was all his fault" routine.
A few weeks later he texted me and wanted pictures. STUPID STUPID STUPID. I did it, btw. I figured, he will never come see me. It's all in fun. Again, STUPID. He was willing to come over at midnight to have sex with me cause he was "deprived". A week later I asked him what his deal was. He said that his roommate had his phone. I cried again. And again it was my fault. But see, I don't know if I can believe him. He is a compulsive liar. Like legit. He lied to me so many times. But if it was the roommate- FUUUUUUUCK.
His recent ex (stupid bitch) thinks we are like friends. She wrote to me on facebook and was like "Josh has a new girlfriend and is really happy. Thought you should know." I asked her how she knew and she was like "he told me" so I went off on him. He broke up with me because timing sucked and I deserved better. His words. I said some not nice things. A few days later he was like "what girl" so I told him that he told his ex he had a new girl. "I know what I said. She was trying to get back with me and I wanted her off my back." Almost exact words. So I was happy. He told me we couldn't be back together cause he was selfish. Duh. Then a few texts later he was like "I have someone else" lolwut. I told him that wasn't true but then he tried to tell me he said he knew Casey would try to make me mad at him, and thats what he meant. I was pissed. And he had the nerve to tell me to never talk to him again cause nothing is gonna happen between us.
And the sad thing? I want that stupid fucker back. He was my first everything. I had such a good time when I was with him. He still thinks I'm miserable and unhappy. Yeah, I was. I TOLD HIM the end of the year sucked for me because I lost so many people in my life so close together. I had to up my meds. I'm better. But he doesn't believe me. And I can't get my mind off him.
It's not necessarily stupid that you want him back, like Fionn said, it's called attachment. He gave you everything that you could not otherwise feel while being alone. Soon enough another lucky person will come along and give you that feeling again. And so the sick cycle starts again. Where one relationship ends, another begins. Until we find the right one. (if that is true)
Fallop!an Cwac Cwac., April 5th, 2010 at 10:32:19pm
hugs for kaylaaaa
imo, and i know this is hard to hear, cause i've kind of been in that situation before, but i think you gotta just try to remove him from your life, cause its not doing you any good. It'll be hard at first but...probably you'll feel better after a while
wanderlust, April 4th, 2010 at 10:33:07am
Welcome to what we psychology students call - Attachement.
You wanted comfort, security, affection, someone to praise you. You found it. You clung to it. Now it's gone and you want it back because it made you feel good on a few levels.
However, you can't have it back. The boy has moved on. My only advice; walk away now before he starts telling people you've become desperate and are clinging to him.
Dr.Hymen, April 4th, 2010 at 05:55:58am