if only you knew
-how much I thought about you
-how much I dreamt about you
-how much I talked about you
-how many goddamn things remind me of you
how we were only together for a short time, yet I felt like it was forever. and I didn't even feel intimidated or trapped, not even a little bit.
-how strongly I feel for you, still.
how I never meant to creep you out, weird you out, or anything even near those lines.
-how all the music I listen to is what you listen to, so I'm constantly reminded of you, because I really don't want to change my musical tastes just to forget about you. It's good music.
-how I can't stop crying about you. Even when I'm not really thinking about you, something reminds me of you and it hits me so hard.
-how I want SO BADLY to have one more chance with you. Just one more. That's all I want. I know it's hard to change over five months, but finding my independence and my motivation has given me a different perspective.
-how I wish you knew EXACTLY how I felt. Because if you knew, maybe you'd have a thing or two to say to me.
-how much I miss you and want to say anything to you.
-how much I want to hear the songs we heard and felt powerful emotions to. I want to make a fucking mix tape for you.
-how I can barely handle myself without you. I really want you back in my life.
You don't get it. Why can't you just understand how I feel? Why can't you have the decency to tell me how you feel?
Or why won't I move on?
You're the only guy I ever felt so strongly attached to. We bared our souls to each other and I was completely comfortable with doing so. You never manipulated me or took advantage of me. You tolerated me and you were there for me when I was at my lowest. That's all I wanted to do for you.
All I want is one more goddamn chance. Why is that too much to ask?
Someone asked me what I look for in a guy and everything I described was you. to a tee.
Why cant you just get it? Why does this hurt so badly?
and I will hold on, I will hold on..
-how much I dreamt about you
-how much I talked about you
-how many goddamn things remind me of you
how we were only together for a short time, yet I felt like it was forever. and I didn't even feel intimidated or trapped, not even a little bit.
-how strongly I feel for you, still.
how I never meant to creep you out, weird you out, or anything even near those lines.
-how all the music I listen to is what you listen to, so I'm constantly reminded of you, because I really don't want to change my musical tastes just to forget about you. It's good music.
-how I can't stop crying about you. Even when I'm not really thinking about you, something reminds me of you and it hits me so hard.
-how I want SO BADLY to have one more chance with you. Just one more. That's all I want. I know it's hard to change over five months, but finding my independence and my motivation has given me a different perspective.
-how I wish you knew EXACTLY how I felt. Because if you knew, maybe you'd have a thing or two to say to me.
-how much I miss you and want to say anything to you.
-how much I want to hear the songs we heard and felt powerful emotions to. I want to make a fucking mix tape for you.
-how I can barely handle myself without you. I really want you back in my life.
You don't get it. Why can't you just understand how I feel? Why can't you have the decency to tell me how you feel?
Or why won't I move on?
You're the only guy I ever felt so strongly attached to. We bared our souls to each other and I was completely comfortable with doing so. You never manipulated me or took advantage of me. You tolerated me and you were there for me when I was at my lowest. That's all I wanted to do for you.
All I want is one more goddamn chance. Why is that too much to ask?
Someone asked me what I look for in a guy and everything I described was you. to a tee.
Why cant you just get it? Why does this hurt so badly?
and I will hold on, I will hold on..
I felt like this about someone until recently. It'd been 10 months since anything happened, and 7 since he got with his girlfriend, but I still couldn't let go of what we'd had (though I didn't want to be with him anymore - it was just the memories that really hurt). I sent him a really long text saying all the things I wanted to say so I wouldn't torture myself with imaginary conversations with him about it anymore, and it's really helped me gain 'closure' - maybe you should just write a letter/email/text with everything you want to say in it? Even if things don't work out, at least you know you've said everything you want to say and you might get over it quicker.
MAD CUNT, September 3rd, 2011 at 09:18:29am