I may regret this....

I haven't really been on GSB much for the past couple of years. As it would seem, no one else has either. I really do miss talking to the people I used to know, but all this is completely off topic of what I wanna get off my chest.

Picture yourself eating your favorite sandwich ever, your favorite thing to eat period, or whatever you have a strong craving for right now. You're sitting there eating, and you have no complaints. Its not over or undercooked. It has all the perfect amounts of all the ingredients. This truly is the perfect meal, and you're enjoying every bite just the way you want to. Then suddenly, you realize you've eaten this meal the same way for 20 years. You don't have an issue with this meal at the moment. Its perfectly fine. However, while right in the middle of eating it, you get up and leave.

This is exactly what I am about to do. The perfect meal, is my life. Sure things piss me off and I get upset from time to time, but I cant complain. Overall, for the first time in a long time, everything in my life is going great. I have very few complaints, and tons of friends and family that make me happy.

But I'm leaving.

After I graduated high school, I went to a shitty community college, cause I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life. The school was very close by, and as far as college goes, its just about the cheapest school in existence (it costs me about $4,500 a year). So I've got my house with my family, and my town with my job and all my friends. The school that I'm at is considered a "Jr college." That means its only meant to be a 2 year school. You graduate after 2 years, get an associates degree, and transfer on to another school to finish up your bachelor's degree. I admit it isn't very hard to get in (they'll accept anyone who can pay), but I loved it here all the same. Come this Wednesday, I'll have graduated. Next semester, I'll be transferring to a school thats about 3 hours away from home. Its true that this really isn't too far away, and I have my car so I can come home if I really need to. However, I just cant shake the feeling that this is a mistake.

I'm the luckiest guy around really. I have close to a dozen people whom I hang out with that I would consider my close, and best friends. About half of them still live at home with me. I have many other friends who I talk to at school too. I have the perfect girl for me right now. She isn't clingy, shes crazy about me (for some reason), and GODDAMN she has beautiful vibrant blue eyes. My family loves me too, and although my parents support my decision to move away, they're gonna miss me. My pizza boy job here is fine too. There are times when I wanna kill my boss or a few of the customers or my co workers just like anyone else, but its an easy job that I'm content with. But I'm leaving everything behind soon.

I'm not scared or anxious towards going to a new place. I don't have problems getting familiar with new places or meeting new friends. I just don't wanna leave behind everyone and everything that I already have, which is essentially what I'm doing. I don't plan on losing touch with everyone I love.

For the life of me, I just cant shake this feeling of guilt.
Posted on December 14th, 2012 at 01:20pm

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