My Uncle: the je ne sais quois (or however you spell it)
My uncle (not to be confused with my other 4 uncles) has some kind of cancer. In his brain, also I think the tumor in his kidney came back, and maybe his pancreas? I don't want to think about it. He has his own apartment, but he has to stay at Grandma's apartment and only goes to his apartment to take a shower, or maybe watch The O'Reilly Factor (!!). It makes me sad to see and hear him. Half of his face is paralyzed, and it droops down more and more every time I see him. He can't even smile. And he has to get surgery so that he can talk loud. His voice is a hoarse whisper. He is as skinny as a pencil, and he is balding from the chemo.
He's pale, and has seemingly stopped making snide remarks about Bill Clinton, and praising George Bush. But with his disappearing to his apartment at 8:00-ish, though, he certainly still admires Bill O'Reilly as much as he did 2 years ago, when he was as healthy as any person. We used to argue about politics ALL the time. I couldn't help but disagree with his right wing principles. It was almost fun, as if we each had something to prove to the other. Now I really don't want to argue about anything. I'd hate to see him, unable to raise his voice, sitting meekly. I just can't bring myself to do it. I want to show him the video of Keith Olbermann making fun of Bill O'Reilly that I love, and I probably will eventually, but IT'S SO HARD.
Why him? I know I have no choice, but how does this help anything? My friends don't understand, because they don't see how I could be sad for anyone so right wing. I don't even care anymore! Only 30% of the country approves of what Bush is doing, so what's the deal? He's family, and I really can't help but feel heartbroken to see MY uncle in such a state.
I can't enjoy my time now, thinking about all the suffering my uncle is going through. And I don't want to feel bad around him, because it will only make him feel worse. Fuck it. Hopefully he'll be alright. But will he ever be the same?
He's pale, and has seemingly stopped making snide remarks about Bill Clinton, and praising George Bush. But with his disappearing to his apartment at 8:00-ish, though, he certainly still admires Bill O'Reilly as much as he did 2 years ago, when he was as healthy as any person. We used to argue about politics ALL the time. I couldn't help but disagree with his right wing principles. It was almost fun, as if we each had something to prove to the other. Now I really don't want to argue about anything. I'd hate to see him, unable to raise his voice, sitting meekly. I just can't bring myself to do it. I want to show him the video of Keith Olbermann making fun of Bill O'Reilly that I love, and I probably will eventually, but IT'S SO HARD.
Why him? I know I have no choice, but how does this help anything? My friends don't understand, because they don't see how I could be sad for anyone so right wing. I don't even care anymore! Only 30% of the country approves of what Bush is doing, so what's the deal? He's family, and I really can't help but feel heartbroken to see MY uncle in such a state.
I can't enjoy my time now, thinking about all the suffering my uncle is going through. And I don't want to feel bad around him, because it will only make him feel worse. Fuck it. Hopefully he'll be alright. But will he ever be the same?
I have the same relationship with my dad when it comes to politics. He worships Bill O'Reily too. I'm terribly sorry to hear about that, though. I know what it's like to lose someone you're close to even if you bicker with them a lot. Especially if you have to watch them slowly slip away from you. Best wishes.
Edgar, April 7th, 2007 at 04:29:56pm