My Story.

Alright, for all of you out there that actually care to read this, I owe a lot to you. This took me a lot of courage, and self-confidence to write and to tell people. If after you read this, and know that I've lied to you about anything, and wish to hate me, I encourage you to. There is no good reason to lie to anyone, especially people you actually care about. I really look forward to change, and for people to start believing me again. Please, if you get angry or hate me after this, don't try to do anything to get revenge. You being mad at me, is worse then doing something to me. Even though I may deserve it. If you want to cuss me out, never talk to me again, etc, I really wouldn't mind. Yea, it will hurt me, but I am really proud to tell you my whole life. From beginning to now. I may, and will, leave out some parts that are personal but this whole story is the truth, and only the truth.

I believe the lying started when I was five. Kindergarden. The first lie I ever remember telling was to my dad. It was the very beginning of Fall, I just started school, and I was helping my dad rake the leaves in my front yard. There was another little girl, my age, playing outside her house also, about two houses down. I remember saying to my dad, "Hey dad, I know that girl over there, she's in my class, can I go say hi?" But the truth is, she wasn't in my class. She went to the same school as me, but I never met her in my life. Anyways, so he said yea and I ran over there and introduced myself. She was one of the first people I ever met on that street. On to six years old.

When I was six, I was in first grade, I was in first grade, of course. One of my good friend's Ariel Moore rode the bus with me, and we got off at the same stop. Well, one day, I got off the bus with her and we were slowly walking home. We lived on opposite streets, so of course we were walking slow so we could talk to each other. I remember she really wanted me to come over and play, and I did too, but I knew my mom would never let me. She lived a street away and I was six. So I made up a quick lie, thinking no harm done. "Oh, my mom said O could go to a friend's house today." And Ariel even asked if I was sure. And I replied that of course I was sure. So, maybe an hour or two later, and we're in her room watching a movie, a search party; Consisting of Mariah, her mom, this chick name Ashley, and the police were on Ariel's doorstep looking for me. See, my parents thought someone had kidnapped me, and called the police. See, I never knew about 'bad people' like that; murders, rapists, etc. Since I was only six. But, I got spanked, and I was grounded for a while for that one.

I never learned right from wrong, but I got mine probably a year later. Now, I'm not going to name anyone for this part of my life. I don't want anyone to get in trouble or get looked down upon, because I have forgiven them.

So, there were these two boys that lived on my street. One was one or two years older then me, and the other was three or four years older then me. They lied to me and told me one of my best friends were waiting for me down at the local park where we usually played. Of course I believed them, because I was so gulliable (sp?). Once I was down there, they both pulled me behind a bush and forced me to do things I don't even want to say, or talk about. It's really embarrassing and I feel ashamed of it because I feel I could of stopped it from happening. Anyways, that happened, and I was really tramatized to ever be around them again. I never told my parents because I was scared, nor have I told any of my family members. But, my life continues. Of course.

About the same age, Mariah started acting different around me. She believed everything everyone told her about me. Even those two boys told the neighborhood what happened, but they changed it up a little so it seemed like I wanted it to happen. It was horrible. They used me for so many things. "You can only come up in the cool kid fort if you bring us food." "But, I got grounded last time I gave people food without asking." "Trust us, just get us food and we'll let you up." "Alright." I just felt I had to do all of this to get the to like me. I thought that maybe if I do everything for them, and be stupid, and make a fool of myself, that I would actually be able to go in the cool kid fort. But I never did anyways. See, they tricked me into doing stupid stuff. They got me grounded a million time. They were never sorry. To say it, my childhood absolutely sucked. They made me eat fish eggs, and no, not caviar. Blamed everything on me and I was the one to get in trouble. Mariah acted different when she wasn't with her brother. No one was there to influence her about how I'm a lowlife.

Eight-ten years old, I met three girls down the street. All three unnamed by the way. I thought they were my best friends, but they were just like the rest of the neighborhood. But they also made me do things embarrassing. But out of that hell hole, I met one of my best friends, Carolyn Derby. We were inseperatable, until those three girls kept on trying to keep me away from her. She was my best friend till she found out I was ditching her for them. I remember we were all sitting outside, and Carolyn came out to go to my house and she saw me there. We all got up, and they started arguing. Then, that was when she popped the question, "Who would you rather hang out with, them or me?" I remember stuttering and looking between them both, then Carolyn just shook her head and ran back inside her house. It was the worst decision I ever made. Not like I really said who, but Carolyn sure took it like I would rather hang out with them. They also used me to beg their parents to take us all out all the time. Then they blamed me, saying I was the one that used them for food and stuff.

I stopped hanging out with them and got my act together. I went to Carolyn's house and apologized up front. It took her a while to actually believe me, but she did. We became best friends, yet again, became insepratable with no one in the way. Between this whole time I met my everlong lasting best friend Emma Jones. She didn't really live on the street, but she visited there a lot. My mom said that one time Emma stayed at my house for a day or two, because her mom was afraid of her staying at her aunt's house, which was down the street, because her mom didn't want her dad to take her.

So I hit 6th grade. Carolyn was going to a different Junior High, as was Emma and Mariah moved three or four blocks away. So I stayed inside the house a lot, while Carolyn had friends of her own. Mariah was going to the same junior high as me until she found out they were closing the junior high down in 7th grade. Then she moved to Mistletoe school. I felt alone, since Carolyn, Emma, and Mariah all went to a different school, and had new friends. Until I met another one of my best friends, Ashley Lewis.
Posted on April 8th, 2007 at 06:16am


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