Don't Believe The Good Intentions Of An Angel Face

He's clamping his heart so tightly in his hands
I'm afraid it'll break once he loosens his grip
Yet still I'm spitting encouragements of conviction
For a sensitive heart beating shyly
Bedded beneath rock'n'roll style and heavy metal attitude

You'd think you knew a person with time
But for a flicker of a second
His eyes clear as he's looking at me
And I spot the concrete love has left in his veins

I wince feeling his hands against my skin
I'm not a solution
Not the saviour of his shattered beliefs
I'm destructive disappointment
The imperative landslide burying last hopes
Icy suffocation within my breath against his lips
A way too close shot of inhaling smoke
Leaving him choking on a convulsive cough

It's wrong to believe the evil can't love
That love is something entirely reserved for the good
It's the only thing that connects the both of them
His devil look and angel soul against my angel look and devil mind

Awwww, thank you. *hugs*

The first stanza = GOD.

The rest of it = the rest of God. XD

That was amazing. I love it so much.

Thanks so much, darling.

I'm not too sure what I can say, that will match that...

It's beautiful. I could go all out and admire it madly, but you know I'm doing that already

Lmao!
I agree with Panda.

That's really beautiful.

SNOWTASTIC.

Ok, here comes a full review from me.

"He's clamping his heart so tightly in his hands
I'm afraid it'll break once he loosens his grip
Yet still I'm spitting encouragements of conviction
For a sensitive heart beating shyly
Bedded beneath rock'n'roll style and heavy metal attitude"
^The selection of words and the whole idea is excellent but the flow is somewhat mixed up.

"You'd think you knew a person with time
But for a flicker of a second
His eyes clear as he's looking at me
And I spot the concrete love has left in his veins"
^I didn't like that stanza. You have done so much better. And I know you still can.

"I wince feeling his hands against my skin
I'm not a solution
Not the saviour of his shattered beliefs
I'm destructive disappointment
The imperative landslide burying last hopes
Icy suffocation within my breath against his lips
A way too close shot of inhaling smoke
Leaving him choking on a convulsive cough"
^The bolded part was magnificent, in my opinion the best part of the poem, but I guess you thought it was too simple so you added a few redundant adjectives later on.

"It's wrong to believe the evil can't love
That love is something entirely reserved for the good
It's the only thing that connects the both of them
His devil look and angel soul against my angel look and devil mind"
^There you go again, started amazingly well and then unnecessarily messed up the flow. You could have used one of those things called metaphores.

I've seen you do so much better, so don't be discouraged. You still have it in you, don't worry.

80/100

I love it.

I like it alot, if I could vote I would give you a 10!

Icy suffocation within my breath against his lips

Omg. That part was so good.

The rest > REALLY GOOD TOO!

Thank you, guys.

Ella:

Ok, here comes a full review from me.

"He's clamping his heart so tightly in his hands
I'm afraid it'll break once he loosens his grip
Yet still I'm spitting encouragements of conviction
For a sensitive heart beating shyly
Bedded beneath rock'n'roll style and heavy metal attitude"
^The selection of words and the whole idea is excellent but the flow is somewhat mixed up.

"You'd think you knew a person with time
But for a flicker of a second
His eyes clear as he's looking at me
And I spot the concrete love has left in his veins"
^I didn't like that stanza. You have done so much better. And I know you still can.

"I wince feeling his hands against my skin
I'm not a solution
Not the saviour of his shattered beliefs
I'm destructive disappointment
The imperative landslide burying last hopes
Icy suffocation within my breath against his lips
A way too close shot of inhaling smoke
Leaving him choking on a convulsive cough"
^The bolded part was magnificent, in my opinion the best part of the poem, but I guess you thought it was too simple so you added a few redundant adjectives later on.

"It's wrong to believe the evil can't love
That love is something entirely reserved for the good
It's the only thing that connects the both of them
His devil look and angel soul against my angel look and devil mind"
^There you go again, started amazingly well and then unnecessarily messed up the flow. You could have used one of those things called metaphores.

I've seen you do so much better, so don't be discouraged. You still have it in you, don't worry.

80/100

Thanks for review, Ella.

I'm not discouraged ,
I see where you come from. *nods*

It was pretty difficult to write for me and
I'm still not sure about it.

TreCoolIstSoGeil:

SNOWTASTIC.

Thanks, Be.