| Author | Message |
|---|
Ol' Blue Eyes.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4816
 | June 19th, 2006 at 06:49pm She has a strange beauty
Even though her dyed black hair is hacked
And hangs in a million different lengths around her face
And smudged mascara runs down her thin cheeks
And sometimes solitude is the only thing that eases the hurt
So she sits alone in the grass
And basks in the warmth of the sunlight
And lets the wind dry her tears
There are only a few people who look so pretty
Even though their hearts are breaking
And she is not one of those.
But she doesn't object when he opens his arms to her.
He's the only one to ever see her with no makeup
And he is the only one who can make her feel so safe.
She thinks it could have something to do with the way he smells
Like sweat and cigarettes and musky cologne.
Or it could be the way he doesn't mind the mascara streaks on his t-shirt
Or the fact that he'd hold her till the stars came out and the sun faded.
He'll drive her home long after sundown
She'll curl up in his passenger seat, sniffling and wiping her tears
On the cuffs of his far-too-big-hoodie
And he'll let her turn the radio up far too loud
And she'll let him drive far too fast
And they'll let the silence speak a thousand words of comfort
That neither of them could say
And everyone else would note
That neither of them could ever look so pretty
In such a fucked-up fashion. |
The Rev
Addict
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 14004 | June 19th, 2006 at 06:53pm  i love it! |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921
| June 19th, 2006 at 09:05pm I'm becoming a fan of your poetry. Your style is so simple, yet so powerful. Everything about this poem screamed beautiful. I love the ending, as well. Good stuff.  |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | June 20th, 2006 at 05:49am Hardcore Panda!!1:I'm becoming a fan of your poetry. Your style is so simple, yet so powerful. Everything about this poem screamed beautiful. I love the ending, as well. Good stuff.
Just what I wanted to say, it's poetry without the big, fancy words, and it's just so beautiful |
Kid_Gates
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 289 | June 20th, 2006 at 05:59am Awww the best poem i've ever read!! |
[Broken Pretty]
Idiot
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 572 | June 20th, 2006 at 06:01am thats beautiful.
no, seriously it is. |
Inari
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2538 | June 20th, 2006 at 06:15am That's beautiful.
Touching. |
rollerpig
GSBitch
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 62283 | June 20th, 2006 at 08:25am Wow, I like that!! |
michaeldirnt
Idiot
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 737 | June 20th, 2006 at 08:30am thats amazing its really really good |
GD4ever
Jackass
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 1110 | June 20th, 2006 at 08:50am I agree it's really powerfull |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
| June 20th, 2006 at 09:35am Am I the only one who doesn't like it? 
However, this was pretty good:
"And he'll let her turn the radio up far too loud
And she'll let him drive far too fast"
The last stanza was also good. |
Kitti
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 5688 | June 20th, 2006 at 10:17am Ella:Am I the only one who doesn't like it?
However, this was pretty good:
"And he'll let her turn the radio up far too loud
And she'll let him drive far too fast"
The last stanza was also good.
No. You aren't.
I thought the images were pretty vivid, but very cliche.
The last stanza wasn't bad, but the last line ruined the whole poem for me.
Usually swearing in poetry does...it's difficult to prevent it from disrupting the entire poem and only a few poets have ever been able to do that.
There are times when the flow of the poem is good, times when it sounds pretty.
But a great poem means shedding some new light on something. I didn't get that out of this. |
Ol' Blue Eyes.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4816
| June 20th, 2006 at 10:24am Kitti:Ella:Am I the only one who doesn't like it?
However, this was pretty good:
"And he'll let her turn the radio up far too loud
And she'll let him drive far too fast"
The last stanza was also good.
No. You aren't.
I thought the images were pretty vivid, but very cliche.
The last stanza wasn't bad, but the last line ruined the whole poem for me.
Usually swearing in poetry does...it's difficult to prevent it from disrupting the entire poem and only a few poets have ever been able to do that.
There are times when the flow of the poem is good, times when it sounds pretty.
But a great poem means shedding some new light on something. I didn't get that out of this.
Cliche? I didn't realize it.
I wasn't trying to shed light on anything new. This poem was simple, inspired by a photograph I saw, and by something that happened to me last week. If anything, it's shedding light on that. |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
| June 20th, 2006 at 10:37am Kitti:
The last stanza wasn't bad, but the last line ruined the whole poem for me.
Usually swearing in poetry does...it's difficult to prevent it from disrupting the entire poem
That too. |
CrazyEyes
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 112 | June 20th, 2006 at 01:06pm international_idiot:Hardcore Panda!!1:I'm becoming a fan of your poetry. Your style is so simple, yet so powerful. Everything about this poem screamed beautiful. I love the ending, as well. Good stuff.
Just what I wanted to say, it's poetry without the big, fancy words, and it's just so beautiful
Yup, I agree too. It's great. |
snowcherry
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 3912 | June 21st, 2006 at 11:52am xx_crazyeyes_xx:international_idiot:Hardcore Panda!!1:I'm becoming a fan of your poetry. Your style is so simple, yet so powerful. Everything about this poem screamed beautiful. I love the ending, as well. Good stuff.
Just what I wanted to say, it's poetry without the big, fancy words, and it's just so beautiful
Yup, I agree too. It's great.
Me too.
I loved this poem. |
Zoie
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 6370 | June 21st, 2006 at 12:10pm I like it. When I read it, it seemed more like a story than a poem. It was really visual too, like, I saw the whole thing playing in my head. Good job. |
i_luff_mike_dirnt
Geek
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 138 | June 21st, 2006 at 12:12pm Aw. I love it. |
DIRNTISGOD
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 94 | June 21st, 2006 at 12:19pm wow that's amazing..find ANYWAY you can get more ppl to read that..i'm serious. |
wait_what
Geek
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 411
 | June 21st, 2006 at 01:01pm Aww! It's so pretty! Amazing. I love the last stanza. Quite touching. |
