Forever.

I don't like this poem that much, but I wanted to post it to see what you guys thought.

Be gentle, please.

She's got overdramatic eyes, shaded with an excess of mascara,
Paired with too-red lips against pale skin.
Expertly chipped black nail polish,
On the slim fingers that twine possesively around his hand.

Shaggy blond hair, far too long and in his eyes,
He's too skinny, and much too tan.
Ink drawings crawl inelegantly across his skin,
Sharp contrasts to the vivid bruises decorating his neck.

And they lay in bed for days at a time
With the shades pulled down and the radio turned up
And she doesn't care that her lipstick's smeared
And he doesn't mind that all this time spent indoors fades his tan.

He wrote her a ballad, twelve bars of blues
And she drew him a pretty picture that spoke volumes
Without either of them breathing a word

So even though she's got overdramatic makeup
And despite the fact that his hair's much too long
They've got the best kind of love
The kind that overrules any sort of objection

He gives her stars to hang around her slender neck
And she'd give him the moon if only he'd ask
But all he wants from her is a smile and a laugh
She knows how much he loves to hear her laugh

It's hard to look at them, and still believe
In the ridiculous idea that their love isn't real.

There were a few weak spots in there, such as touchy flow, and I think the last line could have been worded better. But overall, I really liked this for what it was. It was sweet and touching.

Hardcore Panda!!1:

There were a few weak spots in there, such as touchy flow, and I think the last line could have been worded better. But overall, I really liked this for what it was. It was sweet and touching.

Yeah, I hated the last line. I'm gonna have to work on it.

Thanks, love.

It was sweet.
But like Panda said, some parts were weak.
Nothing that can't be cleared up though

I agree with Panda and Inari, it was real beautiful but could be worked on

Awwww... it's gorgeous.

What is wrong with you people? I LOVED THIS POEM TO DEATH! I never really liked non rhymings poems... but now you made me fall in love with them. Don't listen to these weirdo's at all! THIS WAS AN AWESOME POEM!