I can't believe I'm doing this.

O_O I'm posting a poem on here. Wow. Crazy.

I’m broken beyond repair.
My heart is coated with rust.
My mind is filthy with despair.
My eyes shut in disgust.

My lips are sewn
To keep from sharing secrets.
My head is hung low,
Heavy with regrets.

My cheeks are grey.
My bones are cracked.
I’m a pathetic display.
A beauty, abstract.

Your words, I cannot hear.
And I cannot speak my own.
I cannot see past my tears.
I’m broken and so alone.

...

I know you're all pros at this and, well, I'm no poet. I know it was simple... repetitive... blah blah... but it was real =] So... *shrugs*

I'm bored too. That's pretty much the only reason I'm doing this XD Ehh..

*cringes*

:] I like it.

Slash? Hell yes!(YSD):

O_O I'm posting a poem on here. Wow. Crazy.

I’m broken beyond repair.
My heart is coated with rust.
My mind is filthy with despair.
My eyes shut in disgust.

My lips are sewn
To keep from sharing secrets.
My head is hung low,
Heavy with regrets.

My cheeks are grey.
My bones are cracked.
I’m a pathetic display.
A beauty, abstract.

Your words, I cannot hear.
And I cannot speak my own.
I cannot see past my tears.
I’m broken and so alone.

...

I know you're all pros at this and, well, I'm no poet. I know it was simple... repetitive... blah blah... but it was real =] So... *shrugs*

I'm bored too. That's pretty much the only reason I'm doing this XD Ehh..

*cringes*

I think it's really good

it's good... you're use of words is great... congrats

i really like it ¦D

I really liked it
I think you've got good writing skills
=D
*hugs*

For not putting much effort into it is actually quite good. It’s not all that repetitive. Sure you use “my” a lot but it works for this kind of poem.

I’m broken beyond repair.
My heart is coated with rust.
My mind is filthy with despair.
My eyes shut in disgust.
Simple but effective. Good wording. I like the imagery, it creates and atmosphere.
It flows ok too and the rhyme is not forced or blunt at all.

My lips are sewn
To keep from sharing secrets.
My head is hung low,
Heavy with regrets.
The flow is a bit rough in this part. Probably because the structure changes compared to the first stanza.
The rhyming doesn’t quite sound right but I’m glad you didn’t try to make it perfect; it would probably
have made it forced. Once again good wording and imagery.

My cheeks are grey.
My bones are cracked.
I’m a pathetic display.
A beauty, abstract.
It flows well except the last line which is tiny a bit rough.
The rhyming feels a little forced as if you had to write “abstract” there to keep to the rhyming scheme.
But it do work, it’s just not as good as it could have been.

Your words, I cannot hear.
And I cannot speak my own.
I cannot see past my tears.
I’m broken and so alone.
Once again the flow declines towards the last line. This stanza is cliché and you lost your wonderful imagery.
It’s just blunt. Especially the last line is quite bad. That line has a bad flow and it’s so blunt and so cliché.
What you did manage to do was to tie everything together and give a distinct ending.

You shouldn’t just do this because you’re bored and whatnot because you do have a lot of talent.
If you were serious and put some effort into it I’m convinced that you could write brilliant poetry.

It worked because it was simplistic. I didn't notice if it was forced; I just thought the words you used were enough. And yeah, if you really worked on it, you could be a damn brilliant poet.

Slash? Hell yes!(YSD):

My lips are sewn
To keep from sharing secrets.

i like it

That was actually really good. XD

What's in a name?:

For not putting much effort into it is actually quite good. It’s not all that repetitive. Sure you use “my” a lot but it works for this kind of poem.

I’m broken beyond repair.
My heart is coated with rust.
My mind is filthy with despair.
My eyes shut in disgust.
Simple but effective. Good wording. I like the imagery, it creates and atmosphere.
It flows ok too and the rhyme is not forced or blunt at all.

My lips are sewn
To keep from sharing secrets.
My head is hung low,
Heavy with regrets.
The flow is a bit rough in this part. Probably because the structure changes compared to the first stanza.
The rhyming doesn’t quite sound right but I’m glad you didn’t try to make it perfect; it would probably
have made it forced. Once again good wording and imagery.

My cheeks are grey.
My bones are cracked.
I’m a pathetic display.
A beauty, abstract.
It flows well except the last line which is tiny a bit rough.
The rhyming feels a little forced as if you had to write “abstract” there to keep to the rhyming scheme.
But it do work, it’s just not as good as it could have been.

Your words, I cannot hear.
And I cannot speak my own.
I cannot see past my tears.
I’m broken and so alone.
Once again the flow declines towards the last line. This stanza is cliché and you lost your wonderful imagery.
It’s just blunt. Especially the last line is quite bad. That line has a bad flow and it’s so blunt and so cliché.
What you did manage to do was to tie everything together and give a distinct ending.

You shouldn’t just do this because you’re bored and whatnot because you do have a lot of talent.
If you were serious and put some effort into it I’m convinced that you could write brilliant poetry.

I didn't actually WRITE the poem because I was bored. I had it written a while ago. I just decided to post it on here out of boredom.. And thanks for the constructive criticism

I figured so much . I meant that you should take posting it more seriously, you know. Like you post because you want to see what you can improve with the poem or in the future and what you’re doing good. Not because you’re bored . You’re very welcome. I sure hope that it can be to some help.

I really like it.

What's in a name?:

You shouldn’t just do this because you’re bored and whatnot because you do have a lot of talent.
If you were serious and put some effort into it I’m convinced that you could write brilliant poetry.

Agreed.

You have so much talent, Dizzle. You amaze me. I wish I could write like you.

Hello, My Name Is Asshole:

What's in a name?:

You shouldn’t just do this because you’re bored and whatnot because you do have a lot of talent.
If you were serious and put some effort into it I’m convinced that you could write brilliant poetry.

Agreed.

You have so much talent, Dizzle. You amaze me. I wish I could write like you.

I'm sure if you tried, you could write a poem a million times better than anything I could write But thanks ^__^ You always say the nicest things and make me all happy XD Hehe.

Slash? Hell yes!(YSD):

Hello, My Name Is Asshole:

What's in a name?:

You shouldn’t just do this because you’re bored and whatnot because you do have a lot of talent.
If you were serious and put some effort into it I’m convinced that you could write brilliant poetry.

Agreed.

You have so much talent, Dizzle. You amaze me. I wish I could write like you.

I'm sure if you tried, you could write a poem a million times better than anything I could write But thanks ^__^ You always say the nicest things and make me all happy XD Hehe.

Because they're true.

X]

i like it.
you should be bored more often and post more poems.

I think it's good .)

aww, I think you're being hard on yourself. It's good. I especially liked the first two lines