Rotten
Idiot
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 671
 | November 25th, 2006 at 02:34pm Yes, it's about John Lydon, but that's not really the point. I was trying to write a song with a kind of social commentary standpoint, like telling a story from third person. Please let me know what you think!
“Whose child is this?” the neighbors asked
‘Cause he was never just another kid
His parents both seemed honest enough
But he told it like it was instead
“Where’d we go wrong?” his parents asked
‘Cause he always had different dreams
He took what he had and set it alight
Tore establishment apart at the seams.
His words were passed on like a ripped-up shirt
And people whispered about his ‘sins’
‘Cause Johnny started a war with the world
That no army could ever take part in
But the crowd grew bigger
So he had to sing louder
And he fought the crown
So they had to shut him down…
All because he made his own way (x4)
Well he tried his hand at being good
But good was even worse than bad
A year later, 180°
Wicked words were the best thing he had
“Where’d we go wrong?” the nation asked
‘Cause there was no going back again
Johnny won the battle with no casualties
But the war was over before it began
But the crowd grew bigger
So he had to sing louder
And he fought the crown
So they had to shut him down…
All because he made his own way (x4) |
Deadboy
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 288
 | November 25th, 2006 at 02:40pm absolutely LOVE it! very good. keep writing!
"Tore establishment apart at the seams." - my favorite part 
two thuimbs up  |
Rotten
Idiot
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 671
| November 25th, 2006 at 02:44pm aw thanks! I think I need to work on it a bit...the flow is a bit off.
I appreciate it though! |
Deadboy
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 288
| November 25th, 2006 at 02:46pm never a problem! |
Rotten
Idiot
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 671
| November 25th, 2006 at 08:38pm Thanks! |
wait_what
Geek
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 411
| November 25th, 2006 at 09:31pm Even though I really can't stand Johnny Rotten, nor most rhyme schemes, I do have to say that this is a fine piece of art.
Just work on getting the rhyme scheme tighter, and perhaps some more metaphors? I don't know, I'm a metaphor whore. 
Good job. |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | November 26th, 2006 at 06:39am I liked it. It's certainly one of the most interesting pieces I've read on here. |
Rotten
Idiot
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 671
| November 26th, 2006 at 10:12am Thanks to both of you! And yeah, subject matter aside, I was just trying a new type of writing here. Thanks a lot! |
