Rape.

I'm making this topic as last night, I got raped. though was I?
Even im not sure... I was pissed out of my face and he also wasnt sober... but he was so violent and controlling at first I didnt even have time to say no... and he finger raped me after forcing me to give him oral. and i was trying to say no but he was hurting me so much i was in tears but I did manage to say no and eventually after screaming no he finally stopped and i was left in tears in some bushes... lucklily someone else from the party came and found me and helped me out and when i got out i saw him. laughing with other people as if nothing had happened at all and when my friend tried to confront him about it just tring to see what had happened he legged it. and some ppl tried to chase after him flat (in a daze nearly getting run over a couple of times managing to get in the area where the flat is cos some people were leaving when i got there and it has high sercurity after a murder happened there), waited for my friends, had a bath, borrowed some her clothes (mine were covered in mud...) and fell asleep on the couch...

but where is the line when it comes to rape? what does alcohol do to the equasion?

discuss really...

If you say no and he continues no matter how drunk both parties are it's rape. In your case penetration wasn't involved and seeing as you had a bath you've washed away any type of evidence available, however if he was forceful and it hurt then there might be vaginal bruising.

step 1. go to the hostpital now, not later, not tomorow and ask for rape exam. It's not pleasant but a female nurse will assist you and it will be over soon
step 2. fill out a police report on this person, ask people at the party for information that you can't remember.

It's very unlikely that there would be a rape conviction, however him being questioned will have a dent on his arrst record and it is possible if your rape exam comes up positive that he can be arrested.


Don't hesitate, don't be frightened because that means he wins.


p.s: if he is convicted it will be for sexual assualt not rape, just thought i'd make that clear.

PLUS

if the clothes you wore on the night havn't been washed take them with you. including your underwear.

no there are not enough convitctions for rape, and i am sorry to hear about what happened to you, But Neosteph is right go and see the hospital, police, your mum , now not later,

seriously police wont do anything.. the whole situation is too complicated
ive told my best friends and i am gonna go to the hospital and stuff but going to the police will NOT do any good it will make stuff worse... im usually one to say to ppl go to the police but trust me ive been to the police for stuff before for being attacked (non sexually), nothing gets done especially if u dont know the ppl involved. i cant even remeber what he looked like really... it was really dark and i was drunk...
and i washed my clothes... cos they stunk of stale alcohol and were muddy... and the poliece in the situation of stuff couldnt of done anything anyway.. i know that sounds like the typical excuseand just trying to avoid the situation but i was watching a program on it and even the police guy on teher was saying in that kind of situation the most they can really do is "tell them off" and "tell them not to do it again" which lets face it, does fuck all really.

oh yeah... and i even knew the girl that tried to knife me, held me down in the road and tried to get me run over... and wen i went for the second thing (wich happened first) the cops said they couldnt do anything even though i knew the exatct location and name of her friend but the said if she did anything more then they could do stuff... and they didnt.
so this will b no different.. some cops will do some help but the system is too messed up to follow through on a case like this all it does is cause unesscary distress and worry to not only me but other ppl too

though i will warn ppl off him (if i even see him...) and if i find out he has progressed from drunken pressuring to something more or has repeated the offence even then i will tell someone, cos right now (even if i hadnt of washed my clothes and myself) there is no solid evedience and the legal system is bad enough WITH solid evidence let alone without.

and im not scared.. yeah i feel really weird and if i see him he's in big trouble especially if i see him wen im with my really really violent other friend
lol
im violent enough but shes nothing compared to me...

Trust me I know how the majority of the time the police can't do anything with out genetic or solid evidence but you don't only have a duty to yourself to report this, but to others. Sure you can warn people off him, but it's doubtful you'll be able to tell every girl in the bristol area what he's like. If you put in a formal complaint about him then the word gets out and you never know the police and detectives may be able to trick a confession out of him.

The number one reason why rape attacks don't get convictions is because they go un-reported
And whatever you do, don't you all your friends go looking for revenge because it's a ongoing cycle, of then hs friends wanting revenge on you.

It's good your going to the hostpital, i don't know how drunk you were but if you can't remember what happened then other stuff could have happened so you need to be checked out for STD's.

*muffin_girl*:

oh yeah... and i even knew the girl that tried to knife me, held me down in the road and tried to get me run over... and wen i went for the second thing (wich happened first) the cops said they couldnt do anything even though i knew the exatct location and name of her friend but the said if she did anything more then they could do stuff... and they didnt.
so this will b no different.. some cops will do some help but the system is too messed up to follow through on a case like this all it does is cause unesscary distress and worry to not only me but other ppl too

though i will warn ppl off him (if i even see him...) and if i find out he has progressed from drunken pressuring to something more or has repeated the offence even then i will tell someone, cos right now (even if i hadnt of washed my clothes and myself) there is no solid evedience and the legal system is bad enough WITH solid evidence let alone without.

why wait until that happens and let another girl suffer. thats bull, go now you seriously have a public duty.

yes. i know that but if i report him ppl will find out and not only his friends (he dosnt really have many even) but ppl who really have a problem with police and will kill me... i allready have a slight reputation for being a "snitch" cos im not afraid to go to the cops which is extremely dangerous in st. pauls where i live especially... i allready have enemys willing to kill me. and i will sort this. i am sorting this myself. and mainly started this discussion of where is the line (if there is one) of what is rape and what isnt and what more should b done by the police anyway

p.s i have just been told by my friend (as she was reading this) that he is being got by the police for alcohol and drug stuff right now (well when they find him... hes on the run...) and for running away from a cop as well so they dont seem to take that as lightly so hes in trouble for alot of other things right now as well. which have solid evidence for not just one persons word against the other.

rape is really big deal weither your drunk or not NO one has a right to do this to anyone. You really should tell the cops and make sure you are okay.

I hope things get better for you

NeoSteph:

*muffin_girl*:

oh yeah... and i even knew the girl that tried to knife me, held me down in the road and tried to get me run over... and wen i went for the second thing (wich happened first) the cops said they couldnt do anything even though i knew the exatct location and name of her friend but the said if she did anything more then they could do stuff... and they didnt.
so this will b no different.. some cops will do some help but the system is too messed up to follow through on a case like this all it does is cause unesscary distress and worry to not only me but other ppl too

though i will warn ppl off him (if i even see him...) and if i find out he has progressed from drunken pressuring to something more or has repeated the offence even then i will tell someone, cos right now (even if i hadnt of washed my clothes and myself) there is no solid evedience and the legal system is bad enough WITH solid evidence let alone without.

why wait until that happens and let another girl suffer. thats bull, go now you seriously have a public duty.

neosteph is right, why wait until he does it to some one else? how would you feel if he raped and beat one woman and then he did it again and again, i know from expierence that if you see the police they will at least talk to hjim (because they have to look into every complaint by law), i would hate to see a friend raped because some one didnt report him when he first did it

look. this really isnt helping u lot. seriously i allready said bout the whole him being arrested for drug realted stuff and anyway do u know how much shit ppl get put through during the whole questioning system... im really strong in alot of ways but ive had friends of friends that have been fine with the actual incedent but the police syatem had made them kill themselves. and how the fuck are they supposed to even tell him off if i dont even remeber what he fucking looks like!!! no one has an accurate description of him as most ppl only even meet him wen they are pissed and i have no name, ppl refer to him as "that guy" and say they hate him but no one knows his name and i dou its his real one anyway cos he seemed to tell everyone a different one from the little i can remember so in other words THE POLICE CANT DO SHIT!!!!!! im sorting all this out with my good friends. and i started this discussion mainly cos alot of my (young) male friends are saying it wasnt rape in any sort at all and i just needed other ppls opinions that werent at the party.

You say you want people's opinions, but when a variety of people tell you what you don't want to hear, you say it isn't helping, what was the point in you even making this topic if you've already had your views fixed?

You don't know that the police won't do anything, granted, without evidence there won't be a sentence, but it seems you're trying to do your best NOT to get this guy in trouble. If you don't want anything done then don't complain about what happened to you, it sounds harsh but you're obviously so fine with it that you don't want to take it any further.

The police have to at least take him in for questioning. It's law.

Go to them and tell them exactly what happened, every detail. Get witnesses. Don't just give up on this guy.