Teens and Abusive Relationships

Forgive me if this is already a thread somewhere, but I didn't see it, or must have over looked it if it is...
Well, I see that this is pretty popular topic now'a days. And so I thought I would make a thread out of it. See what people have to say.

I know this seems like...odd, but I was watching the Tyra show the other day, and some teen girls said that they think that Rhianna deserved to get hit by Chris Brown, and I think that's awful that teen girls would say that. And it makes me worry that if those girl's were to get into a abusive relationship they would think that they deserve it too.

I think it's sad, and that it's wrong.
Does I'm assuming other's do too.
So if anyone has been in one and would like to talk about it, go ahead, but by all means don't if you don't want to.
Why do you think that it's so common today?
Why do you think that girls stay in these relastionships.
And I don't just mean abusive as in, getting hit. I mean, girls being called names and getting put down. Or like those guys that say things like "You can't do this, ask me before you talk to him" And when guys give girls rules on what they're aloud to do and not do, I want to cover all abuse.
And heck, guys aren't the only abusive ones, lets talk about girls abusing guys, because it's just as wrong.
Do you think abusive people all grow up around it, or what causes it?
So if anyone has any views or what not on it, share them please!

from a person that has been in an abusive relationship. not physically though but verbally, i took a lot of it because i had zero self confidence and i thought that i would rather let him say shit than be alone. it seriously has a lot to do with your self esteem because if its low than you already think bad stuff about yourself so you believe what the guy says. i always knew it was so wrong to deal with but i tried so hard to just convince myself that it would just go away but it doesn't. so my advice is don't ever let yourself think that its okay and that it will go away because it won't. get out of the relationship right away no matter how much you don't want to. no one ever deserves that kind of treatment by someone who is supposed to love you.

Did the teenage girls explain why they thought rihanna deserved it? I'm interested..

An abusive relationship is, of course, not a healthy one. I guess the abuser has some issues with control or trust so they need to use words or violence to regain the control :/
And maybe the one being abused has experienced abuse in another relationship, like maybe their father or mother was abusive so in order to try and fix the situation they couldn't fix when they were younger, so they seek out a new partner that behaves the same way to make a difference this time around.. usually its not consciously that they choose this.

Idk We talked about it in my psychology class, this is what I got out of it.

No, they didn't...I think Tyra said something like "Rhianna pushed him to it, or was to bossy" or something.

And that makes since.

Belly Jo, I am sorry.

Thanks. It's all good though. I've learned from it

You're welcome, and good. I'm glad you got away from it :]

Galaxy Defender:

An abusive relationship is, of course, not a healthy one. I guess the abuser has some issues with control or trust so they need to use words or violence to regain the control :/

mine had daddy issues

Squid.:

You're welcome, and good. I'm glad you got away from it :]

thanks girl, that's really nice of you

Oh, you know it!

I think that someone being abusive in a relationship comes as a result of some kind of inferiority complex on the behalf of the abuser. Being in a relationship with someone with self-esteem issues allows them to exploit them and get a power kick out of it - having the power makes them feel like they're more important, I guess.
idk, I've never been in an abusive relationship, but I dated someone with serious self-esteem issues and I could have exploited those... I didn't, but another person may have done.

it could be that, but it could also be the fact that they have such low self esteem that they need to put others down because of it. kinda like a bully i guess.

Abusive relationships have cycles. Has anyone noticed? Example:
The girl wants to go to her friend's party (no beer, drugs, nothing like that) but her boyfriend doesn't want her to go, they don't have any plans, he jus doesn't want her to go. He threatens her a little with stuff like "If you go, we're over." General stuff, y'know? And she says she won't go, but her best friend calls her up and convinces her to go. Her boyfriend finds out and gets rough with her and then appologizes the next day with presents and "a new attitude." Then something will make the boy jealous or mad again and the cycle will jus continue.

It's not fair to only say boys do that because girls do it too

Yeah, that's so true.
But all abusive realationships are a cycle, and the abused has to learn how to break it and get away and not get caught up in another one. And the abuser hopefuly get's help! But in most cases it doesn't seem as if so.

My abuser, it started that I was the only one that would ever say "no" to him. In return, he would "put me in my place". He wanted to feel powerful, he wanted to feel like he had complete control over me.

BELLY JO.:

It's not fair to only say boys do that because girls do it too

I'm not saying only guys do it, I know girls do it, it's jus not typical. But I was using that as an example. Yea, girls are b*tches with that too.

i would have to disagree with it not being typical. it happens a lot, but girls do get away with it because we are females and if a man says something than he's called a pussy or a wuss

For me, I've never been in an abusive relationship, but teens who are in one think they deserve it because they haven't been in a good relationship where they aren't beaten physically or verbally.

Dana.:

For me, I've never been in an abusive relationship, but teens who are in one think they deserve it because they haven't been in a good relationship where they aren't beaten physically or verbally.

Well that's a load of trollop. Abusive relationships can happen to far more people than just that stereotype. Any kind of low self-esteem can be exploited by the right person. They did a study on psychopaths before, as despite them being devoid of emotion they picked up on weakness like bloodhounds, they could tell if someone was mugged, and all this kind of stuff. People who are controlling can beat you down and tell you you're shit whether you have more self-confidence than most (who have barely any self-confidence) or not. There are too many variables to even try to stereotype this. Because there's far more than one kind of abusive relationship.

Those are they only two abusive relationships that I know of.