Author | Message |
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FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921
| June 18th, 2006 at 06:31pm As anyone who has been reading my poetry for a while can tell, it's gone from being slightly more elaborate to a bit simple. So this poem is, I suppose, a "return to my roots", so to speak. I'm rather happy with the way this came out.
Lipstick Scribbles
Literary references abound- you’ve lost your point.
Overstated lipstick scribbles, crowded on the surface but empty within.
Simplicities ranging from “I” to “you”,
Double meanings you haven’t bothered to touch.
Is simple really complicated after all?
Better left open for interpretation;
It’s an individual’s mind that strips away inhibitions through saturation.
Infatuation and confusion go hand in hand, while
Misunderstanding reigns high because the static-ridden air is too loud.
Turn down the volume and we’ll hear that much more.
All we’ve picked out are the silhouettes;
The substance was a deserter, cowardly in all its significance.
But of course, comprehension seems to have lost importance
Throughout the vivid history of canvassed emotions.
To keep such art from the world would surely be a crime.
And so we have need to ask ourselves, was it really worth
All the secrecy when it could have been spoken from the start?
****
Author's Note: The "I" to "you" thing was my little ironic way of connecting the double meanings thing. It could either be taken as the simplicity of two different people, or you could fill in the blank so it spells out "I love you." If anyone needs me to explain any other metaphors, I'd be happy to. |
newagecarny Was Here Two Weeks Ago
 Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 42495
| June 18th, 2006 at 06:46pm It was good, I really love your style, although I didn't like the 2nd stanza that much. I suppose it's the long lines.
The thing I really like about your work is that you always find a really special thing to talk about. Keep going, you're doing it great!
I adored every single bit of the first stanza. |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921
| June 18th, 2006 at 06:53pm Mmhm, the second stanza is my least favourite as well. And the first is the one I like best. Haha, seems we agree. Thanks, Ella. You're an amazing poet yourself. |
newagecarny Was Here Two Weeks Ago
 Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 42495
| June 18th, 2006 at 06:54pm Hardcore Panda!!1:Mmhm, the second stanza is my least favourite as well. And the first is the one I like best. Haha, seems we agree. Thanks, Ella. You're an amazing poet yourself.
Thank you  |
Inari King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 37 Gender: Female Posts: 2538 | June 19th, 2006 at 02:17am I loved that.
Especially:
All we’ve picked out are the silhouettes;
The substance was a deserter, cowardly in all its significance.
But of course, comprehension seems to have lost importance
Throughout the vivid history of canvassed emotions.
To keep such art from the world would surely be a crime. |
r e v e n g e Geek
 Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 234 | June 19th, 2006 at 02:40am looooove it.
awesome  |
Peter Petrelli King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 4161 | June 19th, 2006 at 08:35am You know what, I think I like your roots.  I've always been a fan of the leaves and flowers, too.
I think I'm in love with the first stanza. I mean, it's so beautiful. How do you do it? *tries to lure your muse away with cookies and lemonade* |
Ol' Blue Eyes. King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 4816
| June 19th, 2006 at 08:54am It's well-written, and it's absolutely adorable.
I'm thinking of proposing to it, and eloping to Vegas. |
rollerpig GSBitch
 Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 62283 | June 19th, 2006 at 09:24am Like it. =D |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921
| June 19th, 2006 at 10:07am  Cookies and lemonade ain't gonna work. She's immune to good food/drink.
No! Don't elope with it to Vegas! XDDD |
snowcherry King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 3912 | June 19th, 2006 at 12:02pm I loved that.
The metaphors and all were really good. |
love. King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 2844 | June 19th, 2006 at 05:06pm good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  |
WeeHez90 Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 76 | June 19th, 2006 at 05:20pm i think this is really good ! i like it! |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921
| June 19th, 2006 at 05:22pm Thanks mucho, guys.  |
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451
| June 20th, 2006 at 04:42pm I wish I could write like that. I mean instead of you ‘cuz I don’t wanna be a copycat. 
No, seriously, it rocks. It’s truly marvellous even though I don’t really like the second stanza that much either. |
Garrett Hanlund This Board Is My Home
 Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 30801
 | June 20th, 2006 at 05:12pm snowcherry:I loved that.
The metaphors and all were really good. |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921
| June 20th, 2006 at 06:25pm Wow thank you.  |