Untitled. *gasps*
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| Dead End Girl Addict  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 10219 | Ze people does like  .Hm...title... I've got nothing D: Fantastic, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious poem though :B |
| punk_rock_kitty Geek  Age: - Gender: - Posts: 143 | |
| Toxic Narcotic King For A Couple Of Days  Age: 103 Gender: Female Posts: 3750  | |
| FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921 | I don't want to sound mean, but I think you can do much better. I think the lines in this one were too long, throwing off the flow. And I think you used too many adjectives. It seemed like a never-ending description, and it got a bit boring. I do like your other poems, so understand that I'm not just slagging you off. I just think you can do better. Good luck on your next one, and whatever you do, never stop writing!  |
| the_christian_chick Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: - Gender: - Posts: 99 | This does have a few too many adjectives, take some out and the peom should be just right! Other than that, tis a well written peom! could you pm me some of your others?  |
| the_christian_chick Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: - Gender: - Posts: 99 | This does have a few too many adjectives, take some out and the peom should be just right! Other than that, tis a well written peom! could you pm me some of your other poems? |
| the_christian_chick Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: - Gender: - Posts: 99 | |
| Ol' Blue Eyes. King For A Couple Of Days  Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 4816 | I don't think it's terrible, but the lines are on the long side and you overdescribed a little. That said, it still bested anything of mine.  |
| Peter Petrelli King For A Couple Of Days  Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 4161 | I love this line; 'Sensations and ecstasies perform a sacrifice to the filthy, yet gorgeous paper' But I do agree that some of the lines are too long. but thats not a major problem, you could just form shorter lines and break it up with full stops. If you wanted to. |
| I Am So Beautiful! FUCK! Jackass  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 1019 | WeFoundTheDuck: I agree. =D |
| I Am So Beautiful! FUCK! Jackass Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 1019 | |
| Lissie! Falling In Love With The Board  Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 7305  | Amazing. I love the way it's... yeah, written |
| Garrett Hanlund This Board Is My Home  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 30801 | WeFoundTheDuck:Yeah... it beats the shit out of my poems. One thing though: pulping an expression. Sorry, that kinda bugged me a little, that's a pet peeve of mine. Heh..  |
| Addison Montgomery. Falling In Love With The Board  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 7078 |
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