Daddy, My Fingernails Are Bleeding

Board index - Your poetry

Author	Message
Lissie! Falling In Love With The Board Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 7305	November 25th, 2006 at 06:42am Daddy, I can't sleep, my pillow is too wet, and Mommy, a monster is hiding underneath my bed I'm your little baby with such a cute facade The dancing teddybears on my pyjama look so happy But their song haunts me in the lanes when town is asleep Mommy, daddy Please realize there's something wrong with this Mommy, please unlock the door, 'cause Daddy, my fingernails are bleeding I want you to sing and rock my cradle 'Cause I can't take those teddybears' constant malicious pleasure When you look another direction Comments appreciated :]
Anneka-Rice Geek Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 330	November 25th, 2006 at 06:48am Wow. I love it. Its really creepy though xD
Until the Day I Die[Em] Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: - Gender: - Posts: 14	November 25th, 2006 at 06:50am Yeah, its good but creepy. claps
tomamazon GSBitch Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 68084	November 25th, 2006 at 07:21am oh my. I adore it.
Robin Sparkles This Board Is My Home Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 30432	November 25th, 2006 at 07:36am A bit creepy, but I find it cute xD I think you could have made it a little bit longer though. Good job =)
Dancing In The Dark Geek Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 196	November 25th, 2006 at 05:00pm Very good. I love it!
~shattered~scattered~ Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 17	November 25th, 2006 at 05:17pm wow, thats real good. i love it
hahaurdead9 Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: 31 Gender: - Posts: 80	November 25th, 2006 at 05:27pm umm, its interesting. pretty neat.
YUZHEN_ Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 50	November 26th, 2006 at 12:17pm Hey dear :] This is beautiful (: Its so twistedly beautiful I love it so much ((: KEEP WRITING <3
the resistance. King For A Couple Of Days Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 4898	November 26th, 2006 at 12:24pm I love it.
Sid and Nancy Geek Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 136	November 26th, 2006 at 12:44pm i luvs it
I Am So Beautiful! FUCK! Jackass Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 1019	November 26th, 2006 at 12:46pm I'm not too sure why, but I think it's really good. The wording and structure of it just, made it what it is. Which is good. Good job! =]
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451	November 26th, 2006 at 01:03pm Sprang punkterna iväg från dig? =P I think it’s quite good. In my opinion the poem needs punctuation and could have been less repetitive. Also the first line/sentence contained too many commas. It gets a bit messy and confusing. And the message of the poem as a tad too vague at times. I like the concept and the wording though. I like how the register fitted the content really well. Overall it was a pretty cool poem. Not some banal cliché excuse for a poem. Good job

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