rage;love;clark
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 494 | December 3rd, 2006 at 09:12pm Rearrange my insides to the way that you see fit
Jiggle the appendix just a tiny bit
There, the flow is corrected
The heart looks infected
It’s three till last Saturday
And I’m still piss drunk
Picture me in a stupid hospital bed right
Checking my heart beat every single night
There, the readings are blank sir
I wish I could spank her
She was the best nurse ever
And I’m stuck in hell
Nobody listens
To my inhibitions
And you’ll see my point
When you hit the first joint
Your head will start spinning
And you’ll begin grinning
You’ll be so happy
Goodnight nappy nappy
Thrift stores and cent whores is the way I live
I’ve been this way since I was a little kid
There, my hands are in your butt
I’m full of naughty smut
It’s five till I came and
You’re still sticky
It must be tough to breathe with your mouth around my friend
I’m giving you all of my milk I can lend
There, my guns are all empty
I see you have plenty
It’s five minutes past our curfew
And you smell like me
Nobody listens
To my inhibitions
And you’ll see my point
When you hit the first joint
Your head will start spinning
And you’ll begin grinning
You’ll be so happy
Goodnight nappy nappy
Nobody listens
To my inhibitions
And you’ll see my point
When you hit the first joint
Your head will start spinning
And you’ll begin grinning
You’ll be so happy
Goodnight nappy nappy |
Deernt.
Rotting On Here
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 48258
  | December 4th, 2006 at 07:44pm Nobody listens
To my inhibitions
And you’ll see my point
When you hit the first joint
Your head will start spinning
And you’ll begin grinning
You’ll be so happy
Goodnight nappy nappy
^Excellent!! I loved every bit of your poem. I liked this stanza as well as it being repeated two other times. I like the little 'nappy nappy' thinger as well.
You are gggggreatt!
 |
rage;love;clark
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 494 | December 4th, 2006 at 09:16pm Winter Wonderland.:Nobody listens
To my inhibitions
And you’ll see my point
When you hit the first joint
Your head will start spinning
And you’ll begin grinning
You’ll be so happy
Goodnight nappy nappy
^Excellent!! I loved every bit of your poem. I liked this stanza as well as it being repeated two other times. I like the little 'nappy nappy' thinger as well.
You are gggggreatt!
thank ya vurry much |
Deernt.
Rotting On Here
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 48258
| December 4th, 2006 at 09:23pm rage;love;clark:Winter Wonderland.:Nobody listens
To my inhibitions
And you’ll see my point
When you hit the first joint
Your head will start spinning
And you’ll begin grinning
You’ll be so happy
Goodnight nappy nappy
^Excellent!! I loved every bit of your poem. I liked this stanza as well as it being repeated two other times. I like the little 'nappy nappy' thinger as well.
You are gggggreatt!
thank ya vurry much Ya welcome vurry much.
|
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
| December 5th, 2006 at 08:31am I only liked the first stanza.
The rhyme just seems forced to me in the rest.
I don't like the topic, nor am I sure I understand it. |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | December 5th, 2006 at 08:44am I think I agree with Ellaisonfire... to be honest, I didn't quite get what you were trying to talk about. The first stanza really was pretty good, but you could've developed that instead. It just didn't seem to flow all that well. Sorry.  |
rage;love;clark
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 494 | December 5th, 2006 at 01:06pm yeah, i don't really like it
thanks guys |
