Nightmares.
Author | Message |
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[Broken Pretty] Idiot ![]() Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 572 | i need to be alone. don't you see this? i feel like im screaming forever inside when the house is in silence. bitten nails and smudge mascara, is this the result of the loneliness i recieved during the night. how is it i compare this to the ligt outside my window? sunglasses on and sore body all i can wonder about is the type of dreams i had last night. for sure it must have been a nightmare. all i remember is. |
I Am So Beautiful! FUCK! Jackass ![]() Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 1019 ![]() | The ending confused me a bit. But, that could've been your point. And another spelling mistake. Lol. "Light." Sorry, that stuff bugs me. I liked it quite a bit. Especially... [Broken Pretty]: Of yes, and "received." Hehe. |
Misanthropist Post Whore ![]() Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 23279 | The third stanza seemed a bit random, the mention of sunglasses didn't work really. Also, the ending through me off a bit, it makes it seem like it will continue but it doesn't. This is your 7th poem today Quote you might want to check out Rules or Poetry Tips The tips can help anyone out, because everyone can stand to improve. |
Deernt. Rotting On Here ![]() Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 48258 ![]() ![]() | [Broken Pretty]: The poem itself was ok. You need to work on several things such as capitalization, grammar usage, punctuation, and just the steady flow of poetry. There were many grammatical errors and they made your poem hard for me to read. However, the content of the poem has some potential. So if you decide to feed upon some of my advice, it may get a little better. ![]() |
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