Control Scattered to the Winds

Control Scattered to the Winds

Rationality flees, scattered like a flock of little birds. Frightened
by a sound, by a movement. Their wings beat in a quick, irregular
rhythm against my chest in panic. Shrill notes rise from the chaos
to residence inside of my head as noises leak through to the outside.

Pounding feathers raise whirlwinds. A hurricane engulf the oxygen,
snatching my breath away. Beaks are pecking apart my intestines.
Nausea spread like a wildfire, like a violent disease, which cramps
in my throat. Now claws try to rip it apart, scratching until I bleed.

Ice carries numbness through my narrowing veins. Artic winter
reigns only challenged by the heartbeat generated heat. Chaos
races trough the overheated nerves which keep it carefully caged.
Inside the unleashed turmoil search gateways but it seems to fail.

Then one by one the birds settle back in place, lulling soothing
for the worked up beat of my tiring heart. Air once again finds
exhausted lungs. The traffic jam of electrical impulses ceases
to be. All returns to the same old quiet stream of functions.









This is also posted in the GSB Writers Circle

You already know what I think about this.

But upon revising it again, the choppiness would work well when read aloud. As it stays to the subject of panic well, then I think that as a spoken poem, you could make more emphasis with that...

If that makes any sense.

I know

It does make sense. Thanks ^_^

Anyone else?

Brilliant. It was absolutely brilliant. =] Geez, you word and construct your poems so well. Gah, how do you do it?! xDD Lol.

It was okay.
I didn't quite like some of the imagery you used.
The whole
Beaks are pecking apart my intestines.
Nausea spread like a wildfire, like a violent disease, which cramps
in my throat. Now claws try to rip it apart, scratching until I bleed.
part...
I didn't like that part.

I don't really know what else it was.

-Sandy

Thanks for being honest Sandy. How come you didn’t like the imagery? What about it was it that you disliked?

I Am So Beautiful! FUCK!:

Brilliant. It was absolutely brilliant. =] Geez, you word and construct your poems so well. Gah, how do you do it?! xDD Lol.

Thank you, dear. I don’t know xD I have ”it” perhaps?

I believe you do have it.