Roses of memory

The rose I gave you in the winter
Its still naive red
Red as the blood that falls down your lip

A summer day – your cheek cold as ice
But the rose still grows
Mellow from the sun

Steel blue eyes now gloomy gray
Oh, darling you're dying
But the rose still lives

It doesn't care...



...


I got good comments on the first one I posted so I gave it another go. I need feedback on this one, please!

its very clearcut, short, straightforward...at least to me.
I think its good, i especially liked the third verse.

Kthanx

Steel blue eyes now gloomy gray
Oh, darling you're dying
But the rose still lives

I loved it, Ivana. <33 Especially that stanza. The last two lines, "Oh, darling you're dying but the rose still lives", it gives me a sense of how 'hope' filled that statement really is.
In other words, I'm saying that the object of your poem, which is the rose, is portrayed as a living thing, and you brought the life into the poem with your phrasing. <333
What I said probably makes no sense, but I see the abstract levels of things. XD
Amazing. Keep writing. <33

Thanks Liz, it means so much to me to hear a really good critic from you since you are a poet wit and everything. Thanks, and I will certainly try.

Wow, that was really good. Short, but sweet, not like other short poems without any meaning. Keep on writing.

I personally thought there were a few places which could be tidied a little, but overall I absolutely loved it. Very clever, and I loved the abstract quality that it had.

Thank you all

Ivana Amoeba:

Thanks Liz, it means so much to me to hear a really good critic from you since you are a poet wit and everything. Thanks, and I will certainly try.

You're welcome.
And aww, thank you.