lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278
  | Slowly,
She starts out.
A twirl. A spin.
Light steps
From here to there.
A smile.
A motion of her hands.
She whirls around
And her l o n g, black braid
Whirls with her.
Faster, faster.
Her elaborate costume
Shimmering with red and gold
In the light of the stage,
The henna covering
Her hands and feet,
It all becomes a colorful
Colorful, graceful blur.
Thudjim, thakadhim
The rhythm spangled
With beats and bells to
Guide her eyes, her face.
Wordlessly, she speaks.
With her body,
She weaves us a story
Of deer and heroes
Of good and evil
Of life.
Then
Slowly,
She ends.
A twirl. A spin.
Light steps
From here to there.
And she bows. |
Deernt.
Rotting On Here
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 48258
| Thudjim, thakadhim
The rhythm spangled
With beats and bells to
Guide her eyes, her face.
Wordlessly, she speaks.
Amazing. Very well done. Bravisima. XD
I love how well you captured what seems to be this little "Dancer girl".
The description and vocabulary was used exceptionally.
And the flow has a unique twang to it.
Again I say, very well done. |
lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278
| Thank you. Actually, "there" is supposed to be placed an inch or two away from "here to" but the thingy won't let me!
Same with "long". The letters are supposed to be spaced to be longer, but it doesn't work...how sad. |
Misanthropist
Post Whore
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 23279 | May 10th, 2007 at 08:21am lyrical_mess:Thank you. Actually, "there" is supposed to be placed an inch or two away from "here to" but the thingy won't let me!
Same with "long". The letters are supposed to be spaced to be longer, but it doesn't work...how sad. You could always put underscores until the word is where you want it and then put the underscores in white color.
Anyway, I also thought your poem was very good. Awesome imagery. |
