Untitled, chapter 2
It was so hot.
Oh god it was hot. The smothering blanket of heat settled over her, covered her pores discomfortingly and made her sweat with cold dread. Where had this heat come from? It never used to be like this. Never. It was always so cold, oh so cold...
Once again, she was a child. Small, insignificant, and powerless, in a room full of shadows that formed hazy, grotesque shapes, alone to fight away the fear of the dark, the pain and the shame by herself. Her entire body ached, a colorful black, purple and blue map of bruises. She was tired, hungry, and shivering despite the temperature. Or was she trembling?
She dared not stir too much. She didn't know where he was, thought that perhaps for the moment he wasn't around. But as much as she yearned for something to fill the dark chasm that was her stomach, she dared not move around to look for food. She wasn't allowed to. She didn't have permission. And she did not want to wander off into the darkness, where he could be. Because he always emerged from the darkness.
But as even she closed her eyes and willed him to always remain there with all the might in her, she heard the door crash open with tremendous noise. Stumbling footsteps, heavy, ragged breathing, drawing closer and closer. Oh god. Please let him be drunk. Please let him be too drunk to care. Please let him just tumble into bed and spare her for the night, she still hurt so bad from the night before, please oh please...
As he stumbled closer, she backed herself tightly into the corner. She was so tiny compared to him, so, so minute... maybe if she could just stay quiet and still... maybe he wouldn't notice her...
But he appeared towards her. His face was hollow and shrunken, like the shadows were eating away at him. And with every breath he breathed she smelled the strong alcohol and tasted the fear in her mouth.
A small sob escaped her, because she knew what was coming as he ambled towards her drunkenly, a chilling smile playing at his lips.
Here's my girl...
No, please don't. No.
She held her hands up protectively in front of her face and squirmed to get away from him, almost frantic now.
Come here... I just wonna know how you're doin', sweet pea...
Go away! Please go away...
He grabbed her tiny body and her bruises instantaneously screamed. She began struggling against his grasp, but, as usual, he was so strong. She was nothing compared to him.
Quit squirming, you ungrateful little bitch!
No! Leave me alone!
You shut the fuck up, little shit.
The punch came as no shock, but it was a whole new level of pain as his fist connected with bruise already formed on her eye. Her head snapped back; it smashed into the wall behind her with such brute force that she wasn't shocked to feel the warm trickling from where she was struck, down onto her neck.
Now stay still, bitch.
With the metallic taste of her own blood in her mouth she choked in horror as he loomed over her, huge and terrifying. Not again. No, no, no, not again! He placed his hand over her and held her down firmly, silencing her pleas into petrified muffles and high-pitched squeals as he plunged himself into her... watching the tears form in her wild eyes, eyes that begged insanely for him to stop...
His hands were digging into her, oh god, and the pain between her legs was almost too much to bear. STOP! her mind screamed to persons who will never hear her. MAKE HIM LET ME GO! MAKE IT STOP, OH GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP...
He was shaking her now. He was shaking her already tender flesh violently. His face was blurring. Wake up, Gaia! Wake up, come back now, you're having a nightmare...
And she woke in her own cold sweat, her eyelids flinging open and her eyes furiously flickering back and forth in the strange room in search of a focal point, while she struggled with the switch from the distant, hellish memories she had been reliving to reality. And she saw a familiar face.
Billie Joe was holding onto her tightly. God, she was sheet white, and she was trembling so violently that it scared him. A minute ago she was kicking and thrashing about in bed like she was fighting an unseen attacker, moaning almost pleadingly, her facial expression pained. And now... he looked and saw tears were threatening to spill over her ravaged eyes.
"Are you... "? he made towards her uncertainly. But she bit her lip and stubbornly turned away.
Okay, then. "So, boogeyman still gets to you, huh?"?
Gaia sat, drawing in huge, deliberate breaths in an attempt to calm down. Then she dropped her head in her hands and muttered, "You were pole dancing."?
He would've smirked had she stopped trembling like that.
"In my dream. You were pole dancing and... oh god... you were wearing a"""? she made brushing motions at her hips, """you were in a tutu."?
Tutu his ass. As disturbing as he, Billie Joe Armstrong in a tutu pole dancing would be, it could not possibly disturb her to this level, could not reduce someone like Gaia to an almost childlike state of helplessness. But whatever it was, it didn't seem like he was going to find out anytime soon. Gaia was considerably calmer now, gathering herself up and pulling away from him, but not meeting his eye on purpose. She looked around the room.
"Why the hell am I in your bed?"?
"Coz that's where you fell asleep."?
Oh crap, that's right. Between landing in LA, the quick meals, all the unpacking then diving straight into this trip with her mom to Rodeo to visit Ollie, her jet lag had festered and directed her straight to Billie Joe's bed first chance she got. Last night, upon arriving back at the house from getting her Mars bar from the store (which turned out to be a BAD idea, as two blonde girls with 'cheerleader' written all over their made-up faces and designer outfits recognized Billie Joe and began screaming hysterically, resulting in everyone soon knowing they had a rock star in their midst), she vaguely recalled the telling off from her mother, being introduced Billie Joe's stepdad (Ray, Roman, Roger... she couldn't remember) and told she would have to wait for dinner as they had missed their restaurant reservation on her account. Gaia felt slightly guilty for that; it was selfish of her and she hadn't meant to cause trouble for Ollie, who seemed pretty cool. With nothing left to do, and the certainty that Billie Joe was beyond pissed with her, she climbed the stairs and was dead to the world in his bed before she knew it.
Gaia turned to him now. "For the sake of the world, BJ, don't EVER become a stripper."?
***
An hour later Billie Joe was seated across from her at the dining room table. Gaia was dribbling honey onto her steaming pancakes with the glee of a six-year-old on Christmas Day. All signs of the nightmare were gone, but she still wouldn't look him in the eye. He couldn't ask her what it had been about; the girl had forced her way into his life barely a day ago, and would surely not tell him. But despite that he found himself worrying "" like the big brother he'd never been "" that it was something more serious going on in her life that was bugging her.
He'd come to Rodeo in hopes of spending some time with his mother. All the touring with the band had pretty much sucked the life out of him, and he'd come for some long overdue R&R and a visit to dear old ma. Billie Joe supposed he should be home with the boys; god knows it's been ages since he'd seen the two of them and he liked to know what was up with Joey and Jakob. But that meant he'd have to face Adrienne too, which was too soon. They hadn't completely smoothed things out yet since their last 'exchange of blows', since she'd given him the tongue-lashing enough to make the devil himself cry.
Well, his timing sucked. There was no way in hell he could relax now. Gaia had called her mother and somehow "" SOMEHOW "" convinced her to let her hang out with him awhile longer. Billie Joe overheard the conversation; she used lines like, "BJ and I have so many aspects of punk rock to talk about"? and "I might never see him again! A walking, breathing rock star!"? and did a shit load of groaning girls seemed to be so good at. Eventually she got her way, because, well, she seemed like the type that did. They were meeting up later to go shopping for a change of clothes for her stay.
And the worst part is, Ollie liked her. "The kid's got spunk,"? she said. She didn't give two pisses about Gaia staying longer.
So he prepared for the artillery fire of insults and the torture.
Oh god it was hot. The smothering blanket of heat settled over her, covered her pores discomfortingly and made her sweat with cold dread. Where had this heat come from? It never used to be like this. Never. It was always so cold, oh so cold...
Once again, she was a child. Small, insignificant, and powerless, in a room full of shadows that formed hazy, grotesque shapes, alone to fight away the fear of the dark, the pain and the shame by herself. Her entire body ached, a colorful black, purple and blue map of bruises. She was tired, hungry, and shivering despite the temperature. Or was she trembling?
She dared not stir too much. She didn't know where he was, thought that perhaps for the moment he wasn't around. But as much as she yearned for something to fill the dark chasm that was her stomach, she dared not move around to look for food. She wasn't allowed to. She didn't have permission. And she did not want to wander off into the darkness, where he could be. Because he always emerged from the darkness.
But as even she closed her eyes and willed him to always remain there with all the might in her, she heard the door crash open with tremendous noise. Stumbling footsteps, heavy, ragged breathing, drawing closer and closer. Oh god. Please let him be drunk. Please let him be too drunk to care. Please let him just tumble into bed and spare her for the night, she still hurt so bad from the night before, please oh please...
As he stumbled closer, she backed herself tightly into the corner. She was so tiny compared to him, so, so minute... maybe if she could just stay quiet and still... maybe he wouldn't notice her...
But he appeared towards her. His face was hollow and shrunken, like the shadows were eating away at him. And with every breath he breathed she smelled the strong alcohol and tasted the fear in her mouth.
A small sob escaped her, because she knew what was coming as he ambled towards her drunkenly, a chilling smile playing at his lips.
Here's my girl...
No, please don't. No.
She held her hands up protectively in front of her face and squirmed to get away from him, almost frantic now.
Come here... I just wonna know how you're doin', sweet pea...
Go away! Please go away...
He grabbed her tiny body and her bruises instantaneously screamed. She began struggling against his grasp, but, as usual, he was so strong. She was nothing compared to him.
Quit squirming, you ungrateful little bitch!
No! Leave me alone!
You shut the fuck up, little shit.
The punch came as no shock, but it was a whole new level of pain as his fist connected with bruise already formed on her eye. Her head snapped back; it smashed into the wall behind her with such brute force that she wasn't shocked to feel the warm trickling from where she was struck, down onto her neck.
Now stay still, bitch.
With the metallic taste of her own blood in her mouth she choked in horror as he loomed over her, huge and terrifying. Not again. No, no, no, not again! He placed his hand over her and held her down firmly, silencing her pleas into petrified muffles and high-pitched squeals as he plunged himself into her... watching the tears form in her wild eyes, eyes that begged insanely for him to stop...
His hands were digging into her, oh god, and the pain between her legs was almost too much to bear. STOP! her mind screamed to persons who will never hear her. MAKE HIM LET ME GO! MAKE IT STOP, OH GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP...
He was shaking her now. He was shaking her already tender flesh violently. His face was blurring. Wake up, Gaia! Wake up, come back now, you're having a nightmare...
And she woke in her own cold sweat, her eyelids flinging open and her eyes furiously flickering back and forth in the strange room in search of a focal point, while she struggled with the switch from the distant, hellish memories she had been reliving to reality. And she saw a familiar face.
Billie Joe was holding onto her tightly. God, she was sheet white, and she was trembling so violently that it scared him. A minute ago she was kicking and thrashing about in bed like she was fighting an unseen attacker, moaning almost pleadingly, her facial expression pained. And now... he looked and saw tears were threatening to spill over her ravaged eyes.
"Are you... "? he made towards her uncertainly. But she bit her lip and stubbornly turned away.
Okay, then. "So, boogeyman still gets to you, huh?"?
Gaia sat, drawing in huge, deliberate breaths in an attempt to calm down. Then she dropped her head in her hands and muttered, "You were pole dancing."?
He would've smirked had she stopped trembling like that.
"In my dream. You were pole dancing and... oh god... you were wearing a"""? she made brushing motions at her hips, """you were in a tutu."?
Tutu his ass. As disturbing as he, Billie Joe Armstrong in a tutu pole dancing would be, it could not possibly disturb her to this level, could not reduce someone like Gaia to an almost childlike state of helplessness. But whatever it was, it didn't seem like he was going to find out anytime soon. Gaia was considerably calmer now, gathering herself up and pulling away from him, but not meeting his eye on purpose. She looked around the room.
"Why the hell am I in your bed?"?
"Coz that's where you fell asleep."?
Oh crap, that's right. Between landing in LA, the quick meals, all the unpacking then diving straight into this trip with her mom to Rodeo to visit Ollie, her jet lag had festered and directed her straight to Billie Joe's bed first chance she got. Last night, upon arriving back at the house from getting her Mars bar from the store (which turned out to be a BAD idea, as two blonde girls with 'cheerleader' written all over their made-up faces and designer outfits recognized Billie Joe and began screaming hysterically, resulting in everyone soon knowing they had a rock star in their midst), she vaguely recalled the telling off from her mother, being introduced Billie Joe's stepdad (Ray, Roman, Roger... she couldn't remember) and told she would have to wait for dinner as they had missed their restaurant reservation on her account. Gaia felt slightly guilty for that; it was selfish of her and she hadn't meant to cause trouble for Ollie, who seemed pretty cool. With nothing left to do, and the certainty that Billie Joe was beyond pissed with her, she climbed the stairs and was dead to the world in his bed before she knew it.
Gaia turned to him now. "For the sake of the world, BJ, don't EVER become a stripper."?
***
An hour later Billie Joe was seated across from her at the dining room table. Gaia was dribbling honey onto her steaming pancakes with the glee of a six-year-old on Christmas Day. All signs of the nightmare were gone, but she still wouldn't look him in the eye. He couldn't ask her what it had been about; the girl had forced her way into his life barely a day ago, and would surely not tell him. But despite that he found himself worrying "" like the big brother he'd never been "" that it was something more serious going on in her life that was bugging her.
He'd come to Rodeo in hopes of spending some time with his mother. All the touring with the band had pretty much sucked the life out of him, and he'd come for some long overdue R&R and a visit to dear old ma. Billie Joe supposed he should be home with the boys; god knows it's been ages since he'd seen the two of them and he liked to know what was up with Joey and Jakob. But that meant he'd have to face Adrienne too, which was too soon. They hadn't completely smoothed things out yet since their last 'exchange of blows', since she'd given him the tongue-lashing enough to make the devil himself cry.
Well, his timing sucked. There was no way in hell he could relax now. Gaia had called her mother and somehow "" SOMEHOW "" convinced her to let her hang out with him awhile longer. Billie Joe overheard the conversation; she used lines like, "BJ and I have so many aspects of punk rock to talk about"? and "I might never see him again! A walking, breathing rock star!"? and did a shit load of groaning girls seemed to be so good at. Eventually she got her way, because, well, she seemed like the type that did. They were meeting up later to go shopping for a change of clothes for her stay.
And the worst part is, Ollie liked her. "The kid's got spunk,"? she said. She didn't give two pisses about Gaia staying longer.
So he prepared for the artillery fire of insults and the torture.
