The Strange Confessions Of Three Guys In a Band, chapter 6
Trucker: so, what are you boys doin' out here in the middle of nowheres anyway?
Billie Joe: our van got stolen.
Tre: can I move seats?
Trucker: wassamatter? Don't like sittin' next to me, boy?
Tre: uhh... it's not that, its just I'm a... bit squished between you and er, Mike and I, uh, don't feel well. I'd rather sit at the window.
Billie Joe: I'm not moving.
Trucker: looks like your friend don't wanna move. Don't worry, I'll make ya feel better.
*Tre looks at Billie Joe and Mike nervously - but they're not paying attention*
Tre: uhh...
Trucker: wassamatter boy?
*The Trucker gives Tre a smile and rests his hand on Tre's thigh. Tre's eyes go wide but he's a bit too scared to say anything*
Tre: d-d-d-do y-you - c-c-could you t-tell us wh-wh-where the nearest
h-h-hospital is?
*as the Trucker goes on to tell Tre where the nearest hospital is, Mike whispers quietly to Tre*
Mike: dude, what's wrong with you?
*Tre gives Mike a worried look and then nods towards the Trucker's hand on his thigh. Mike looks as if he's about to burst out laughing - but sees how scared Tre looks and manages to stay serious, he whispers to Tre again*
Mike: just... shuffle this way a bit... maybe he'll take the hint.
*Tre considers it and then shuffles ever so slightly nearer to Mike. The Trucker however, doesn't seem happy about this and gives Tre's thigh a squeeze. Tre looks as if his eyes are about to pop out of his head - he looks at Mike again for advice. Mike shrugs. Tre looks worried.*
Tre: I-I-I really think I-I'm n-not feeling well... c-can I swap seats? PLEASE?
*The urgency of Tre's voice causes Billie Joe to look up from his daydream of looking out of the window. He looks at Tre.*
Billie Joe: dude, what's wrong?
*Tre looks extremely worried as the Trucker runs his hand up his thigh until-*
Tre: WOA!NOFUCKINGWAY!
*Tre hits the Truckers hand away and clambers as far away from him as possible - resulting in Tre sitting on Billie Joe's lap*
Billie Joe: what the fuck?
*The Trucker smiles at Tre*
Trucker: wassamatter boy?
*Tre points at the Trucker and looks at Billie Joe*
Tre: He tried to - he - HE - ... took advantage of me!
Billie: what?
Trucker: e'scuse me?
Tre: YOU HEARD! I'M SITTING HERE NOW!
Billie Joe: dude, get off me.
Tre: I'm NOT sitting next to him again!
Trucker: I'm confused, what's the problem, boy?
Tre: you know what you did!
Trucker: well I'm sure wha'ever it was I didn't mean it...
Billie Joe: GET OFF!
*Billie Joe pushes Tre on to the floor*
Tre: Ow! Hey! What's that for?
Billie Joe: you're not sitting on my knee the whole journey!
Tre: but -
Billie Joe: you have a seat!
Tre: but -
Billie Joe: no. you're not sitting on me.
Tre: but Mike saw him feel me up!
Mike, The Trucker + Billie Joe: what?
*Tre looks at Mike*
Tre: you did!
Mike: well, I dunno...
Tre: but you totally saw it!
*Mike sighs and thinks about admitting that he saw it but really doesn't want to get them kicked out of ANOTHER vehicle*
Mike: I wasn't really paying attention...
*Tre looks shocked*
Tre: but - what? you liar!
Mike: *sighs* just sit back down okay?
Tre: no way!
Billie Joe: dude you're taking up all my leg room! Just sit back in the seat already!
Tre: no!
*all three look surprised as the truck slows to a stop and Tre bangs his head on the glove compartment*
Tre: ow!
*Billie Joe looks at the Trucker*
Billie Joe: come on don't kick us out Tre's only messing around! Aren't you Tre?
*Billie Joe gives Tre a swift kick in the leg*
Tre: ow!!
Trucker: there's a hotel about two miles down that there track through them woods. Jus' follow it an' ye shouldn't get lost.
Billie Joe: oh. Alright, thanks.
*Billie Joe opens the door and climbs out of the truck, closely followed by Mike and Tre. As Billie Joe turns to thank the trucker again, he's surprised to find it already gone.*
Billie Joe: ... weird...
*Mike looks over at the ivy-eaten sign informing them of their whereabouts*
Mike: ... route 666?
Billie Joe: our van got stolen.
Tre: can I move seats?
Trucker: wassamatter? Don't like sittin' next to me, boy?
Tre: uhh... it's not that, its just I'm a... bit squished between you and er, Mike and I, uh, don't feel well. I'd rather sit at the window.
Billie Joe: I'm not moving.
Trucker: looks like your friend don't wanna move. Don't worry, I'll make ya feel better.
*Tre looks at Billie Joe and Mike nervously - but they're not paying attention*
Tre: uhh...
Trucker: wassamatter boy?
*The Trucker gives Tre a smile and rests his hand on Tre's thigh. Tre's eyes go wide but he's a bit too scared to say anything*
Tre: d-d-d-do y-you - c-c-could you t-tell us wh-wh-where the nearest
h-h-hospital is?
*as the Trucker goes on to tell Tre where the nearest hospital is, Mike whispers quietly to Tre*
Mike: dude, what's wrong with you?
*Tre gives Mike a worried look and then nods towards the Trucker's hand on his thigh. Mike looks as if he's about to burst out laughing - but sees how scared Tre looks and manages to stay serious, he whispers to Tre again*
Mike: just... shuffle this way a bit... maybe he'll take the hint.
*Tre considers it and then shuffles ever so slightly nearer to Mike. The Trucker however, doesn't seem happy about this and gives Tre's thigh a squeeze. Tre looks as if his eyes are about to pop out of his head - he looks at Mike again for advice. Mike shrugs. Tre looks worried.*
Tre: I-I-I really think I-I'm n-not feeling well... c-can I swap seats? PLEASE?
*The urgency of Tre's voice causes Billie Joe to look up from his daydream of looking out of the window. He looks at Tre.*
Billie Joe: dude, what's wrong?
*Tre looks extremely worried as the Trucker runs his hand up his thigh until-*
Tre: WOA!NOFUCKINGWAY!
*Tre hits the Truckers hand away and clambers as far away from him as possible - resulting in Tre sitting on Billie Joe's lap*
Billie Joe: what the fuck?
*The Trucker smiles at Tre*
Trucker: wassamatter boy?
*Tre points at the Trucker and looks at Billie Joe*
Tre: He tried to - he - HE - ... took advantage of me!
Billie: what?
Trucker: e'scuse me?
Tre: YOU HEARD! I'M SITTING HERE NOW!
Billie Joe: dude, get off me.
Tre: I'm NOT sitting next to him again!
Trucker: I'm confused, what's the problem, boy?
Tre: you know what you did!
Trucker: well I'm sure wha'ever it was I didn't mean it...
Billie Joe: GET OFF!
*Billie Joe pushes Tre on to the floor*
Tre: Ow! Hey! What's that for?
Billie Joe: you're not sitting on my knee the whole journey!
Tre: but -
Billie Joe: you have a seat!
Tre: but -
Billie Joe: no. you're not sitting on me.
Tre: but Mike saw him feel me up!
Mike, The Trucker + Billie Joe: what?
*Tre looks at Mike*
Tre: you did!
Mike: well, I dunno...
Tre: but you totally saw it!
*Mike sighs and thinks about admitting that he saw it but really doesn't want to get them kicked out of ANOTHER vehicle*
Mike: I wasn't really paying attention...
*Tre looks shocked*
Tre: but - what? you liar!
Mike: *sighs* just sit back down okay?
Tre: no way!
Billie Joe: dude you're taking up all my leg room! Just sit back in the seat already!
Tre: no!
*all three look surprised as the truck slows to a stop and Tre bangs his head on the glove compartment*
Tre: ow!
*Billie Joe looks at the Trucker*
Billie Joe: come on don't kick us out Tre's only messing around! Aren't you Tre?
*Billie Joe gives Tre a swift kick in the leg*
Tre: ow!!
Trucker: there's a hotel about two miles down that there track through them woods. Jus' follow it an' ye shouldn't get lost.
Billie Joe: oh. Alright, thanks.
*Billie Joe opens the door and climbs out of the truck, closely followed by Mike and Tre. As Billie Joe turns to thank the trucker again, he's surprised to find it already gone.*
Billie Joe: ... weird...
*Mike looks over at the ivy-eaten sign informing them of their whereabouts*
Mike: ... route 666?
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