Another Beginning, chapter 22

I spent the night at Mike's, in his bed, just like I wanted. I knew he held me the entire night. I knew it made us both happy. Of course he was happy because he loved me, but in the back of my mind, I was thinking about me, and what I wanted. And about Tre.

I woke up on my stomach with Mike on his, lying next to me, arm spread across my back. It felt like it should. Good. All I wanted to do was make Mike happy. And I was, but what about me? If I kept it together with him, there would be so much pressure on me. To make him happy.

I felt his arm slide off of me and him moan as he woke up. "Hey baby." He said kissing my cheek. He called me baby. Why? Oh right... He loves me. I love him.

"Hey." I smiled, big. I was happy.

He stretched his arms, and turned onto his side looking at me. "I love you." His eyes were so blue...

"I love you too." I said staring right into them.

I was still thinking about what I should do. Should I not be involved with either of them? Maybe I should stop thinking about it, and just be in love with Mike.

"I love you." I said after a couple of minutes.

"I know," he smiled "you already said that."

"Oh, I did?"

"Yes."

"Well, now we are in love, and, now what?"

He laughed again, "Sheena, there doesn't always have to be something going on. Aren't you happy just lying here with me?"

"Yes."

"See?" He said pulling me closer.

I sighed. Why couldn't I just accept it? Why did I always have to have some sort of conflict in my life? I should just let everything happen.

"Uh huh." I yawned. I gave up, and closed my eyes, trying to block out everything that was going on.

After about 20 minutes, and a little talking, I got up to take a shower. After I put back on my clothes, except I replaced my shirt with one of Mike's.

"Hey." I said coming out of the bathroom, wrapping my arms around his waist while he lied on his bed.

"Hey." He kissed me. All I could do was sigh. I had to go back to work tomorrow, for a week. I tried not to think about that.

He kept kissing me, and started to take off my clothes. After my shirt was gone and he started unbuttoning my jeans, I stopped him. "Mike, I just took a shower." I said. He kept going, but doing so very romantically.

I slid back onto my side of the bed, facing away from him. "What is it?" he asked draping his arm over my waist.

"I'm just going through so much stress."

"And?" He protested.

I sighed, and he looked disappointed. He got up to take his shower, and was probably fed up with me. I was fed up with myself too. I thought going back to see Mike would make me happy. It does, but I think I did it for him. But that isn't a bad thing.

I do love him. What is wrong with me? Why can't I show him? I can barely tell him. I laid in bed while Mike took his shower, and I began to think, what if I was distracted by Tre? But I was perfectly happy lying here in Mike'shouse, in Mike'sbed, waiting for Mike to get out of the shower.

The rest of the day was spent lounging around. There were a lot of awkward moments between us, and the whole day was just awkward.

I decided to go back to Tre's house to sleep that night, so he could take to me to work. And because sleeping in the same bed, as Mike would just be... Well, awkward. When I told him he looked disappointed again. I wanted to say I was sorry, but I am tired of saying that. I don't want to have to say I'm sorry.