Runaway Bride, chapter 10
I shot Tre a worried look, but he only shrugged and walked quickly into the living room. I followed. I found Dave sitting there, looking at Tre worriedly and gesturing at something on TV. My mind raced with the possibilities, but I was relieved to see that it was only one of those music video countdown shows, and not the news with something awful to tell us.
"... Yes, this next video comes to us from a new band," the host of the show was saying, "they are called Green Day, they come from the Bay Area," he grinned cheesily at his co-host, "and I'll tell ya, Trisha, they look like they're going to be the next big thing."
Tre gasped, and I looked at him in surprise. Green Day... Why was that familiar? I felt like an idiot for not remembering, because it seemed to be really important to Tre.
"And remind us again what the video is called, Stan?" the female host was saying.
"This one is called 'Longview, ' Trisha, from Green Day's album, 'Dookie, ' set to hit stores in just two weeks!" He grinned at the camera, and the TV cut to a music video. It involved a kid with dark hair sitting at the top of a skyscraper, singing about being bored and masturbation, while his two other bandmates tried to find him as they walked around underneath the building. I thought the whole thing was kind of dumb, but it seemed to affect Tre in major way. He had sunk down onto the couch and seemed to have trouble breathing.
"Who... Who the fuck is that?" he managed to croak as he continued to stare at the screen. I didn't know whether he was gesturing at the guy with the brown hair or the red hair as they patrolled the sidewalk. But the brown-haired guy looked kind of familiar... Oh my God! It all came flooding back to me. Green Day was TRE'S band. And the guy with the red hair and the huge gap in between his front teeth must have been the new drummer... Oh God. The one that had REPLACED Tre.
"Oh, Tre..." I murmured. I looked at him helplessly as he watched. He couldn't seem to tear his eyes away, and he looked like he wanted to cry. The video ended, and a commercial for toothpaste came up. Tre got up wordlessly and walked to the guest bedroom, where I heard the door shut quietly. I looked at Dave and Lola.
"Should I..." I couldn't make a complete sentence come out of my mouth, but Lola understood, and she nodded.
I got up slowly and walked to the bedroom. I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.
"Tre?" I whispered. I saw him lying on the bed, his face shoved in a pillow, muttering to himself.
"Sons of bitches... How could they... To me... After everything... And... Stupid motherfuckers... Fucking asshole... How could he... Gap-toothed idiot..."
"Tre?" I repeated, but was beginning to wonder if I should leave. Tre sat up sharply, and I saw his eyes were rimmed with red, and the pillow he was holding was soaked with his tears. He just shook his head angrily at me and pushed his face back into the pillow.
"No," he said simply.
"No... What?" I said softly as I sat down next to him on the bed.
"They can't. It's just not possible. They actually got a record deal. And replaced me with that asshole with stupid hair..." The rest was muffled, as his face was still in the pillow.
"Tre." I lifted his head up and wiped away a few stray tears. "It's okay... I understand..."
"No!" He jerked away from me. "You don't understand at all! You weren't there! Those guys were supposed to be my best friends! And that was OUR band. I don't know how they get off replacing me with that shithead... After everything we went through! To get shows, just to play places. Now they've gone and fucking sold out, WITHOUT me! They ruined everything we had... No." He stopped, as realization came over his face. "I ruined everything we had."
My heart felt like it was being ripped in half. "Tre... What about...?" I couldn't finish as my voice was choked with tears. What was he saying? That he wished he had never run away with me? That he wished he had stayed with his fucking band, so he could... Be on TV? This wasn't making sense, he couldn't be saying this.
"What about WHAT, Cassandra?" he said angrily, standing up. "Just fucking say it!"
"Tre... I thought... You wanted to be with me. I thought you loved me!" I sobbed into my hands.
"Don't try to fucking guilt trip me! You think you have so many problems, but you're wrong! This isn't about YOU, Cassandra!" His eyes glittered with rage. "Don't try to make it about you!"
"I don't... I'm not..." Crying was taking over my entire body as a horrible sorrow gripped me. "Don't do this, Tre, please don't do this," I whispered desperately.
"Don't make this all my fault, Cassandra! Don't try to make it look like you're the victim here! This is all their fault, those assholes! If I hadn't... If I had just..." He looked away.
"If you had just WHAT, Tre?!" My sadness was replaced by anger. "If you had just stayed with your precious Green Day?" I emphasized the words "Green Day" to make them sound ridiculous. "So you could be on TV and get all the money, and all the girls, and everything you've ever wanted? So you wouldn't have to fucking deal with ME anymore?"
"You're so selfish, Cassandra!" He spat my name as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. "What does this do to you? You can just go on living your life, this whole thing means nothing to you! But this, this WAS my life... And now it's gone..."
"Well, what if you have a new life now?! What if your new life is ME, huh? Is that so bad? I'm sorry I'm such BURDEN to you! Maybe if you hadn't left your band for ME, then you could be HAPPY!" The tears came back as I realized that what I was saying was exactly what he was thinking.
Tre just shot me a disgusted look as I stood there, tears streaming from my eyes, all my angry words gone. And as I looked at his face, at his clean blue eyes, at his spiky brown hair, at the soft pink lips that I had kissed so many times... I felt something that was a mix of jealousy, hatred, but mostly love. And I knew that I loved him, so much, but something had just happened. Something bad. And nothing was going to be the same... I couldn't take it anymore. I shot out of the room, past Dave and Lola, who tried to say something as I hurried past, and out into the warm daylight. I walked and walked and walked, and tried to convince myself I wouldn't return, but I knew, deep in my mind, that I had to.
******************************
While I was outside, trying to run from my problems, Tre sat in the bedroom. I didn't know that any of this was going on, but it was everything he told me later.
He sat there, and stared at the phone, which was held loosely in his hand. I can't, he thought to himself. I shouldn't. They would never... I mean, what is he going to say? No, he made up his mind. I won't. But... What would be the harm in calling... Just this once? He looked at the phone again. He turned it on, then off, then on again. He punched in the first three numbers, then shut the phone off again. Just do it, he told himself. No, don't. Just call him. Now. No, you can't. Yes, you can. No. Yes. Oh my God. He rubbed his hand over his face. What am I going to do, he thought. What about Cassandra? I love her so much... What is she going to think? What is this going to do to her? As if the thought of me fueled him, he just punched in the numbers on the phone as fast as he could and held it up to his ear. He listened to the ringing, which was almost drowned out by his fast breathing. It rang once, twice, three times. He's not going to answer, Tre thought. I should just hang up...
"Hello?" came the voice.
"Billie Joe?" Tre's voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. "It's me."
"Tre?" The voice on the other end sounded surprised, and disbelieving, and excited, all at once.
"Yeah." Tre wished his heart wouldn't beat so fast, he couldn't hear himself think over it.
"Oh my God." Billie Joe paused.
"Yeah," Tre said again.
"What... What are you doing?"
Tre finally collected himself. "What the hell do you think I'm doing? I'm calling you."
Billie Joe laughed, and he seemed relieved. "Well, at least I know this is really you, and not some imposter."
"Yeah." There was another paused, and all of a sudden Billie Joe's words came in a rush, as if he had been holding them in for so long, they were eager to get out.
"Tre... Listen. I don't know where you are, I don't know what you've been doing, but you GOTTA come back. The band's not the same without you... The guy we got is such a shit-for-brains, you have to come back. You have to be our drummer again, we can't do this without you, ever since we got the record deal, Mike and me have been miserable without you... Please. Come on. What do you say?" He was slightly out of breath, and he waited expectantly.
Tre paused. He had been expecting to beg to be let back in the band, not the other way around. Now what was he going to do? He knew he wanted to be in Green Day, but now that it could happen... He didn't know. What about Cassandra?
The silence began to get awkward, and Billie Joe said, "Tre? You still there?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm still here."
"So..."
"Billie, what the hell do you think? Of course I'll come back to the band. You said it yourself, Green Day's not the same without me." Tre knew that he had no other choice, that this was the way it had to be. He would think about Cassandra later. But for now, he belonged to a band again, HIS band, the band that he had always loved, only now... NOW they were going to be huge, they were going to be REAL rock stars. Cassandra would understand... Wouldn't she?
Wouldn't I?
"... Yes, this next video comes to us from a new band," the host of the show was saying, "they are called Green Day, they come from the Bay Area," he grinned cheesily at his co-host, "and I'll tell ya, Trisha, they look like they're going to be the next big thing."
Tre gasped, and I looked at him in surprise. Green Day... Why was that familiar? I felt like an idiot for not remembering, because it seemed to be really important to Tre.
"And remind us again what the video is called, Stan?" the female host was saying.
"This one is called 'Longview, ' Trisha, from Green Day's album, 'Dookie, ' set to hit stores in just two weeks!" He grinned at the camera, and the TV cut to a music video. It involved a kid with dark hair sitting at the top of a skyscraper, singing about being bored and masturbation, while his two other bandmates tried to find him as they walked around underneath the building. I thought the whole thing was kind of dumb, but it seemed to affect Tre in major way. He had sunk down onto the couch and seemed to have trouble breathing.
"Who... Who the fuck is that?" he managed to croak as he continued to stare at the screen. I didn't know whether he was gesturing at the guy with the brown hair or the red hair as they patrolled the sidewalk. But the brown-haired guy looked kind of familiar... Oh my God! It all came flooding back to me. Green Day was TRE'S band. And the guy with the red hair and the huge gap in between his front teeth must have been the new drummer... Oh God. The one that had REPLACED Tre.
"Oh, Tre..." I murmured. I looked at him helplessly as he watched. He couldn't seem to tear his eyes away, and he looked like he wanted to cry. The video ended, and a commercial for toothpaste came up. Tre got up wordlessly and walked to the guest bedroom, where I heard the door shut quietly. I looked at Dave and Lola.
"Should I..." I couldn't make a complete sentence come out of my mouth, but Lola understood, and she nodded.
I got up slowly and walked to the bedroom. I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.
"Tre?" I whispered. I saw him lying on the bed, his face shoved in a pillow, muttering to himself.
"Sons of bitches... How could they... To me... After everything... And... Stupid motherfuckers... Fucking asshole... How could he... Gap-toothed idiot..."
"Tre?" I repeated, but was beginning to wonder if I should leave. Tre sat up sharply, and I saw his eyes were rimmed with red, and the pillow he was holding was soaked with his tears. He just shook his head angrily at me and pushed his face back into the pillow.
"No," he said simply.
"No... What?" I said softly as I sat down next to him on the bed.
"They can't. It's just not possible. They actually got a record deal. And replaced me with that asshole with stupid hair..." The rest was muffled, as his face was still in the pillow.
"Tre." I lifted his head up and wiped away a few stray tears. "It's okay... I understand..."
"No!" He jerked away from me. "You don't understand at all! You weren't there! Those guys were supposed to be my best friends! And that was OUR band. I don't know how they get off replacing me with that shithead... After everything we went through! To get shows, just to play places. Now they've gone and fucking sold out, WITHOUT me! They ruined everything we had... No." He stopped, as realization came over his face. "I ruined everything we had."
My heart felt like it was being ripped in half. "Tre... What about...?" I couldn't finish as my voice was choked with tears. What was he saying? That he wished he had never run away with me? That he wished he had stayed with his fucking band, so he could... Be on TV? This wasn't making sense, he couldn't be saying this.
"What about WHAT, Cassandra?" he said angrily, standing up. "Just fucking say it!"
"Tre... I thought... You wanted to be with me. I thought you loved me!" I sobbed into my hands.
"Don't try to fucking guilt trip me! You think you have so many problems, but you're wrong! This isn't about YOU, Cassandra!" His eyes glittered with rage. "Don't try to make it about you!"
"I don't... I'm not..." Crying was taking over my entire body as a horrible sorrow gripped me. "Don't do this, Tre, please don't do this," I whispered desperately.
"Don't make this all my fault, Cassandra! Don't try to make it look like you're the victim here! This is all their fault, those assholes! If I hadn't... If I had just..." He looked away.
"If you had just WHAT, Tre?!" My sadness was replaced by anger. "If you had just stayed with your precious Green Day?" I emphasized the words "Green Day" to make them sound ridiculous. "So you could be on TV and get all the money, and all the girls, and everything you've ever wanted? So you wouldn't have to fucking deal with ME anymore?"
"You're so selfish, Cassandra!" He spat my name as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. "What does this do to you? You can just go on living your life, this whole thing means nothing to you! But this, this WAS my life... And now it's gone..."
"Well, what if you have a new life now?! What if your new life is ME, huh? Is that so bad? I'm sorry I'm such BURDEN to you! Maybe if you hadn't left your band for ME, then you could be HAPPY!" The tears came back as I realized that what I was saying was exactly what he was thinking.
Tre just shot me a disgusted look as I stood there, tears streaming from my eyes, all my angry words gone. And as I looked at his face, at his clean blue eyes, at his spiky brown hair, at the soft pink lips that I had kissed so many times... I felt something that was a mix of jealousy, hatred, but mostly love. And I knew that I loved him, so much, but something had just happened. Something bad. And nothing was going to be the same... I couldn't take it anymore. I shot out of the room, past Dave and Lola, who tried to say something as I hurried past, and out into the warm daylight. I walked and walked and walked, and tried to convince myself I wouldn't return, but I knew, deep in my mind, that I had to.
******************************
While I was outside, trying to run from my problems, Tre sat in the bedroom. I didn't know that any of this was going on, but it was everything he told me later.
He sat there, and stared at the phone, which was held loosely in his hand. I can't, he thought to himself. I shouldn't. They would never... I mean, what is he going to say? No, he made up his mind. I won't. But... What would be the harm in calling... Just this once? He looked at the phone again. He turned it on, then off, then on again. He punched in the first three numbers, then shut the phone off again. Just do it, he told himself. No, don't. Just call him. Now. No, you can't. Yes, you can. No. Yes. Oh my God. He rubbed his hand over his face. What am I going to do, he thought. What about Cassandra? I love her so much... What is she going to think? What is this going to do to her? As if the thought of me fueled him, he just punched in the numbers on the phone as fast as he could and held it up to his ear. He listened to the ringing, which was almost drowned out by his fast breathing. It rang once, twice, three times. He's not going to answer, Tre thought. I should just hang up...
"Hello?" came the voice.
"Billie Joe?" Tre's voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. "It's me."
"Tre?" The voice on the other end sounded surprised, and disbelieving, and excited, all at once.
"Yeah." Tre wished his heart wouldn't beat so fast, he couldn't hear himself think over it.
"Oh my God." Billie Joe paused.
"Yeah," Tre said again.
"What... What are you doing?"
Tre finally collected himself. "What the hell do you think I'm doing? I'm calling you."
Billie Joe laughed, and he seemed relieved. "Well, at least I know this is really you, and not some imposter."
"Yeah." There was another paused, and all of a sudden Billie Joe's words came in a rush, as if he had been holding them in for so long, they were eager to get out.
"Tre... Listen. I don't know where you are, I don't know what you've been doing, but you GOTTA come back. The band's not the same without you... The guy we got is such a shit-for-brains, you have to come back. You have to be our drummer again, we can't do this without you, ever since we got the record deal, Mike and me have been miserable without you... Please. Come on. What do you say?" He was slightly out of breath, and he waited expectantly.
Tre paused. He had been expecting to beg to be let back in the band, not the other way around. Now what was he going to do? He knew he wanted to be in Green Day, but now that it could happen... He didn't know. What about Cassandra?
The silence began to get awkward, and Billie Joe said, "Tre? You still there?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm still here."
"So..."
"Billie, what the hell do you think? Of course I'll come back to the band. You said it yourself, Green Day's not the same without me." Tre knew that he had no other choice, that this was the way it had to be. He would think about Cassandra later. But for now, he belonged to a band again, HIS band, the band that he had always loved, only now... NOW they were going to be huge, they were going to be REAL rock stars. Cassandra would understand... Wouldn't she?
Wouldn't I?
