Full Of Rage... Maybe Forever, chapter 4
*Sheena's house*
After her mom had died, Sheena did refrain from being so selfish, and even brought her grades up. She would have been the ideal student, but she no longer had the family to go along with it. It was almost as if her mother had held everything in check. Her sister, Maradith, didn't seem to care about life in general, anymore. Her father was starting a habit of not going to work, and it threatened his entire job. Sheena was the only one who had seemed to make any improvement whatsoever. She had returned to her seat of high honor roll, she was the nicest person you would ever meet, and she had found many new interests. Unfortunately, since she didn't talk much anymore, this gave everyone else at her school license to ridicule her. In a way, she deserved it. She knew that deep down, she had it coming to her all along. It still hurt, though.
One day, when Sheena came home from school, she found her father passed out on the couch. He was starting to worry her.
"He never drank before Mom died." She said to herself as she passed him on her way upstairs.
Once she had done her homework, she looked at the clock, and it was 7:15, and she hadn't eaten supper yet. Sheena decided to go downstairs and see if her father was somewhere near sober.
When she approached the couch, she heard his raspy breathing, and it was uneven.
"So he is probably awake." She thought.
Sheena walked in front of the couch, and tapped him on the shoulder lightly.
"Dad, Dad, wake up. I need you to fix supper, or order something, or something." She said as she rolled her eyes for lack of words.
"Quit your damn yelling, Sheena!!!"
"Daddy I'm not yelling. I'm just hungry."
"Damn it, girl, go fix something with your own spoiled hands."
He was right. she had never learned to cook. She didn't really have a reason before.
"You never taught me, or else I would."
Before she knew what was going on, her father jumped up in front of her, and pointed a shaky finger in her face.
"Don't you get smart with me, girl, or I'll make sure it never happens again." He screamed at her, while her mouth was wide open in fear. She smelled a strong alcohol on his breath.
"O-Ok."
He ran a hand through his hair, and went upstairs, only to fall back asleep.
Sheena went to the kitchen, and figured she would just warm up some soup. Only problem was, they didn't have any. Plus, the milk was spoiled, so cereal was out of the question also. She sighed as she looked for something, anything. She only found, either, something that needed something else, that they didn't have, to be added, or nothing all together. She sighed, as she went to the living room to watch TV. She would just have to wait until Maradith came home. Sheena still didn't know her way around town. That, and it wasn't a very friendly town anyway, so she didn't particularly want to know.
At around 12ish, Maradith came home. Sheena had grown accustom to her sister arriving home late. It was her bad habit she had picked up. Sheena had known idea where she went at night. She didn't know that she occasionally got drunk herself; something she most likely inherited from her father. Sheena had no idea what her sister was up to, and even if she did, she felt no less helpless about what to do.
As Maradith rounded the corner, to go turn the TV off, she was surprised to see her younger sister in the chair. Although she wasn't much on responsibility lately, she had recently realized that her sister was one of the only people she had left in this world that she truly cared about, and did the same to her. Maradith had had her own experience with their father.
"What are you doing up?" Maradith asked a blank-faced Sheena.
"Dad's upstairs sleeping or passed out or something, and the pantry and fridge are basically empty, so I figured I would wait for you to get home." Sheena answered without breaking her expression in her face or her voice; she still stared at, though was not entranced by, the TV.
Something about this scene hurt Maradith inside. What happened to her fun-loving sister that was almost impossible to keep quiet? Sheena had lost all of her spark, and Maradith knew that she herself wasn't helping her sister.
"O, ok then. I'll go get you something. Any suggestions?"
"No, not really."
"Alright, I'll be back in just a couple of minutes."
"K, bye." Sheena answered.
*A week later*
Sheena awoke on the couch in the living room, hardly able to open her right eye without flinching, and causing more pain to her eye, and causing a vicious cycle. The whole scene came flooding back to her, as she slowly sat up. Her eye was swelled up almost shut, and she was startled when she heard footsteps coming into the room. Her heart raced, and she knew that it would be useless to try to make her way upstairs before her father entered the room. She just sat, and quickly flipped the TV on, to try to hide the fact she just woke up.
Her father came in, and sat down in his chair without even glancing at Sheena or the black eye that she just knew she had.
"What are we watching?" He asked simply, without slurred speech. So he was sober, and maybe, just maybe he went to work today.
Sheena's mouth was slightly open as she contemplated the fact that she must not mean anything to him anymore. He just didn't care at all. Before she got to answer, he turned and looked at her, not at all surprised at her face.
"Uh-um, I was just flipping through, here." Sheena replied as he waited, and threw him the remote. He took it, and flipped through.
There was a long silence until Sheena decided to break it and ask a question.
"Did you go to work today?" She asked hurriedly. He shot her a surprised look.
"Excuse me?"
Sheena fumbled for words.
"It- It's just, you haven't-"
"I know how to support this family, and especially your spoiled ass, so unless you want another black eye, you had just better shut your mouth." He said firmly, cutting her off.
Sheena nodded, and got up to go to her room.
So that was it; he really didn't care. He knew what he had done, and he accepted it. He almost felt proud.
As she slipped by her father's open door, she looked over her shoulder, and peeked in. There was an open box of papers. It was a bunch of random documents that Mom had put together, but on top was funeral bills, her death certificate, and different things that had to do with her mother. Once Sheena noticed that this was what her dad had been looking at, she almost thought that he really did care, at least about her mother. This was what drove him to what he was now. She almost felt sorry for him, but a stinging right eye told her she was wrong.
Sheena knelt down and started sorting through things. She wanted to cry as she looked at old pictures of her mother, and her old family. And the old certificates and such her mother had won at cook-offs, and college certificates from classes her mother had taken in her spare time. She wanted to cry, but she was just all cried out, at least on this matter.
As she neared the bottom of the box, she found old rewards, and certificates Sheena herself had won in singing contests. She only had to look at about three, when she broke into tears. Singing was more than singing to her. It was a way to escape, and make her happier than she would ever get. After her mother had died, although there were almost no opportunities to sing, she couldn't get any words out. She wanted more than anything to feel the happiness she got when she sang once more. She wanted her mother to be proud of her, in Sheena pursuing her dream. And most of all, she wanted her father to love her again.
*Back in Rodeo*
Once Billie Joe and Jane had shared their first kiss, they were inseparable. They were the best of friends, and it wasn't until Jane got a letter from Sheena that things got a little rocky.
Billie Joe went looking for Jane one day, after school, and couldn't find her. Finally, she turned up at her locker.
"Hey, Jane. Where have you been, I-"
Once she had turned to look at him, he stopped dead in the middle of his sentence.
"Whoa, what's wrong?" He asked, while putting his arm around her, and she leaned into him.
"Nothing, I just, uhh, got a letter from Sheena, and she is just not doing too good."
He gave her a semi-concerned look. Although Billie Joe and Jane were definitely on good terms, Sheena was still on his bad list, and always would be.
"Is it something serious, or what?"
She shook her head while wiping her eyes.
"No, it isn't. It's just, she is my best friend, and I can't believe what's happened."
"Did she start bitching to you or something, 'cuz ya know, that would be just like her."
"No, Billie Joe! I can't believe you! I told you that she wasn't as bad as you think, and she may not be here, but you could at least not talk about her that way, for me. If someone said shit about you I would be this way too."
"Ok, ok, but what else would you be so upset about, I mean, you must've been crying a lot."
She tried her best to smile.
"I know, and I feel like crap, because of it. It was just something that happened to her family, and I am the one crying about it."
He hugged her.
"Don't feel bad, I understand that she is your friend. So what happened?"
Jane didn't know if she should tell him. She hadn't told Sheena about anything new with herself, and anyone else, namely, Billie Joe. She didn't feel she would want Billie Joe to know how miserable she was, and her personal life in detail.
She finally shook her head.
"I don't think she would want me to tell, you, and I don't want to make her feel any worse." Little did Jane know, Sheena could've cared less if Billie Joe were to find out what was going on with her. It was the least of her problems.
"Why can't you tell me, Jane?"
"I just can't, Billie Joe."
"So are you saying that you care more about what someone thinks that is miles away, more than you care about me?"
"No, and yes. Sheena is my friend, and I- well.." She shook her head and added, "Billie Joe, you are not being fair."
"Fine then, if you can't be totally honest with me, maybe we should just be friends. I have been thinking it would work better that way."
Jane didn't know what to say. This was defiantly sudden. Not to mention, he had obviously put a lot of thought into this. Then again, he was right. She confided more to him as a friend than a girlfriend.
After her mom had died, Sheena did refrain from being so selfish, and even brought her grades up. She would have been the ideal student, but she no longer had the family to go along with it. It was almost as if her mother had held everything in check. Her sister, Maradith, didn't seem to care about life in general, anymore. Her father was starting a habit of not going to work, and it threatened his entire job. Sheena was the only one who had seemed to make any improvement whatsoever. She had returned to her seat of high honor roll, she was the nicest person you would ever meet, and she had found many new interests. Unfortunately, since she didn't talk much anymore, this gave everyone else at her school license to ridicule her. In a way, she deserved it. She knew that deep down, she had it coming to her all along. It still hurt, though.
One day, when Sheena came home from school, she found her father passed out on the couch. He was starting to worry her.
"He never drank before Mom died." She said to herself as she passed him on her way upstairs.
Once she had done her homework, she looked at the clock, and it was 7:15, and she hadn't eaten supper yet. Sheena decided to go downstairs and see if her father was somewhere near sober.
When she approached the couch, she heard his raspy breathing, and it was uneven.
"So he is probably awake." She thought.
Sheena walked in front of the couch, and tapped him on the shoulder lightly.
"Dad, Dad, wake up. I need you to fix supper, or order something, or something." She said as she rolled her eyes for lack of words.
"Quit your damn yelling, Sheena!!!"
"Daddy I'm not yelling. I'm just hungry."
"Damn it, girl, go fix something with your own spoiled hands."
He was right. she had never learned to cook. She didn't really have a reason before.
"You never taught me, or else I would."
Before she knew what was going on, her father jumped up in front of her, and pointed a shaky finger in her face.
"Don't you get smart with me, girl, or I'll make sure it never happens again." He screamed at her, while her mouth was wide open in fear. She smelled a strong alcohol on his breath.
"O-Ok."
He ran a hand through his hair, and went upstairs, only to fall back asleep.
Sheena went to the kitchen, and figured she would just warm up some soup. Only problem was, they didn't have any. Plus, the milk was spoiled, so cereal was out of the question also. She sighed as she looked for something, anything. She only found, either, something that needed something else, that they didn't have, to be added, or nothing all together. She sighed, as she went to the living room to watch TV. She would just have to wait until Maradith came home. Sheena still didn't know her way around town. That, and it wasn't a very friendly town anyway, so she didn't particularly want to know.
At around 12ish, Maradith came home. Sheena had grown accustom to her sister arriving home late. It was her bad habit she had picked up. Sheena had known idea where she went at night. She didn't know that she occasionally got drunk herself; something she most likely inherited from her father. Sheena had no idea what her sister was up to, and even if she did, she felt no less helpless about what to do.
As Maradith rounded the corner, to go turn the TV off, she was surprised to see her younger sister in the chair. Although she wasn't much on responsibility lately, she had recently realized that her sister was one of the only people she had left in this world that she truly cared about, and did the same to her. Maradith had had her own experience with their father.
"What are you doing up?" Maradith asked a blank-faced Sheena.
"Dad's upstairs sleeping or passed out or something, and the pantry and fridge are basically empty, so I figured I would wait for you to get home." Sheena answered without breaking her expression in her face or her voice; she still stared at, though was not entranced by, the TV.
Something about this scene hurt Maradith inside. What happened to her fun-loving sister that was almost impossible to keep quiet? Sheena had lost all of her spark, and Maradith knew that she herself wasn't helping her sister.
"O, ok then. I'll go get you something. Any suggestions?"
"No, not really."
"Alright, I'll be back in just a couple of minutes."
"K, bye." Sheena answered.
*A week later*
Sheena awoke on the couch in the living room, hardly able to open her right eye without flinching, and causing more pain to her eye, and causing a vicious cycle. The whole scene came flooding back to her, as she slowly sat up. Her eye was swelled up almost shut, and she was startled when she heard footsteps coming into the room. Her heart raced, and she knew that it would be useless to try to make her way upstairs before her father entered the room. She just sat, and quickly flipped the TV on, to try to hide the fact she just woke up.
Her father came in, and sat down in his chair without even glancing at Sheena or the black eye that she just knew she had.
"What are we watching?" He asked simply, without slurred speech. So he was sober, and maybe, just maybe he went to work today.
Sheena's mouth was slightly open as she contemplated the fact that she must not mean anything to him anymore. He just didn't care at all. Before she got to answer, he turned and looked at her, not at all surprised at her face.
"Uh-um, I was just flipping through, here." Sheena replied as he waited, and threw him the remote. He took it, and flipped through.
There was a long silence until Sheena decided to break it and ask a question.
"Did you go to work today?" She asked hurriedly. He shot her a surprised look.
"Excuse me?"
Sheena fumbled for words.
"It- It's just, you haven't-"
"I know how to support this family, and especially your spoiled ass, so unless you want another black eye, you had just better shut your mouth." He said firmly, cutting her off.
Sheena nodded, and got up to go to her room.
So that was it; he really didn't care. He knew what he had done, and he accepted it. He almost felt proud.
As she slipped by her father's open door, she looked over her shoulder, and peeked in. There was an open box of papers. It was a bunch of random documents that Mom had put together, but on top was funeral bills, her death certificate, and different things that had to do with her mother. Once Sheena noticed that this was what her dad had been looking at, she almost thought that he really did care, at least about her mother. This was what drove him to what he was now. She almost felt sorry for him, but a stinging right eye told her she was wrong.
Sheena knelt down and started sorting through things. She wanted to cry as she looked at old pictures of her mother, and her old family. And the old certificates and such her mother had won at cook-offs, and college certificates from classes her mother had taken in her spare time. She wanted to cry, but she was just all cried out, at least on this matter.
As she neared the bottom of the box, she found old rewards, and certificates Sheena herself had won in singing contests. She only had to look at about three, when she broke into tears. Singing was more than singing to her. It was a way to escape, and make her happier than she would ever get. After her mother had died, although there were almost no opportunities to sing, she couldn't get any words out. She wanted more than anything to feel the happiness she got when she sang once more. She wanted her mother to be proud of her, in Sheena pursuing her dream. And most of all, she wanted her father to love her again.
*Back in Rodeo*
Once Billie Joe and Jane had shared their first kiss, they were inseparable. They were the best of friends, and it wasn't until Jane got a letter from Sheena that things got a little rocky.
Billie Joe went looking for Jane one day, after school, and couldn't find her. Finally, she turned up at her locker.
"Hey, Jane. Where have you been, I-"
Once she had turned to look at him, he stopped dead in the middle of his sentence.
"Whoa, what's wrong?" He asked, while putting his arm around her, and she leaned into him.
"Nothing, I just, uhh, got a letter from Sheena, and she is just not doing too good."
He gave her a semi-concerned look. Although Billie Joe and Jane were definitely on good terms, Sheena was still on his bad list, and always would be.
"Is it something serious, or what?"
She shook her head while wiping her eyes.
"No, it isn't. It's just, she is my best friend, and I can't believe what's happened."
"Did she start bitching to you or something, 'cuz ya know, that would be just like her."
"No, Billie Joe! I can't believe you! I told you that she wasn't as bad as you think, and she may not be here, but you could at least not talk about her that way, for me. If someone said shit about you I would be this way too."
"Ok, ok, but what else would you be so upset about, I mean, you must've been crying a lot."
She tried her best to smile.
"I know, and I feel like crap, because of it. It was just something that happened to her family, and I am the one crying about it."
He hugged her.
"Don't feel bad, I understand that she is your friend. So what happened?"
Jane didn't know if she should tell him. She hadn't told Sheena about anything new with herself, and anyone else, namely, Billie Joe. She didn't feel she would want Billie Joe to know how miserable she was, and her personal life in detail.
She finally shook her head.
"I don't think she would want me to tell, you, and I don't want to make her feel any worse." Little did Jane know, Sheena could've cared less if Billie Joe were to find out what was going on with her. It was the least of her problems.
"Why can't you tell me, Jane?"
"I just can't, Billie Joe."
"So are you saying that you care more about what someone thinks that is miles away, more than you care about me?"
"No, and yes. Sheena is my friend, and I- well.." She shook her head and added, "Billie Joe, you are not being fair."
"Fine then, if you can't be totally honest with me, maybe we should just be friends. I have been thinking it would work better that way."
Jane didn't know what to say. This was defiantly sudden. Not to mention, he had obviously put a lot of thought into this. Then again, he was right. She confided more to him as a friend than a girlfriend.
