Full Of Rage... Maybe Forever, chapter 8
"HAUSHINKA!!"
Sheena, or Haushinka, (whatever) turned around, startled, as she was clearly greeted by her long time friend. Jane scrambled through a variety of high-schoolers on their way to lunch as if they hadn't eaten in three days.
Once Jane reached Sheena, she pulled her into a hug. Sheena returned the hug.
"Uhhh, Jane, you're going to have to let me go sooner or later, ya know?"
Jane pulled away, and just smiled at her.
"I'm sorry; it's just so good to see you again. In fact, I didn't even think twice about calling you Haushinka. What exactly do you go by anymore?"
Sheena smiled.
"No, that's fine. I pretty much go by whatever anymore. But I like it when you call me that. It's just like old times."
Jane smiled.
"Yeah. Wow, we sound like we are fifty. Let's go to lunch."
Jane and Sheena were sitting at Jane's usual lunch table talking it up. It was amazing; they wrote each other almost every day, yet there was enough to keep them going for days.
"So, how's Maradith?" Jane asked after taking a swig of her bottled water.
"She's fine. She's a little over two months along, but she still can't get the guy to talk to her."
"The guy? Don't you know his name?"
"Well," Sheena started, "She does, but to tell you the truth, I lost track awhile ago. It was kinda' hard anyway. She was really never home much."
"Oh, yeah." Jane said, while subconsciously trying to comfort her friend.
Jane wondered for a minute if she should bring up Sheena's family. She knew how bad it was for her right now, but damn curiosity got the best of her.
"So, how do you like your new step mom, if you don't mind me asking?"
Sheena smiled. She didn't think her best friend would bring that up. To say the least, it caught her off guard. She didn't exactly know how to respond to that. She had no problem talking about her home situation; why should she? It was the actual thing that scared her; words didn't. She had honestly escaped any fear of words in the past couple of years. The meant nothing anymore, but back to the situation at hand. She hated her step mom. Maybe it was because she had a daughter, and her step mother, and her father both seemed to favor Chelsea more than her. But, that didn't really bother her; again with the words. It was really just because she wasn't her mother; the usual case. But Sheena was far from admitting that. It would mean another breakdown.
"Oh, I'm sorry Haushinka. I didn't mean to upset you." Jane quickly stated once she saw tears brimming Sheena's eyes; tears Sheena didn't even realize were there.
"No, no, Jane, you didn't. I hate her, it's that simple. But her daughter, Chelsea, well, you can't help but like her. Honestly, I've tried; it doesn't work."
Jane smiled and giggled a bit, happy with her friend's quick recovery.
*******
"No, seriously, she didn't look anything like she used to."
Billie Joe and Mike were just no entering the cafeteria, obviously late. It had to do with something about 409 in a coffeemaker... ... ... .
Mike shot a sideways glance at his friend, as Billie Joe continued to tell the tale of his "caught of guard-ness." He knew what was going on in his mind. He knew him better than anyone else; probably even himself.
"Don't tell me BJ, you thought she was pretty."
Billie Joe glared at Mike, but Mike held no doubt, and Billie knew he would have to give in.
"Well, yeah, but I'm sure she is just the same. Ya' know, prissy, bitchy, rich, all the above." Billie Joe responded as he paid for his soda.
"You mean the one Jane is talking to? You know, the one with ratty jeans, an old black hoodie, and a banged up pair of Chuck Taylors?"
Billie Joe turned and looked in the same direction Mike was. He didn't get a chance before to notice what exactly Sheena looked like. He was a bit preoccupied in seeing someone he hadn't seen in oh, I don't know, close to 4 years. Either way, he was caught; Mike was right.
"Mike, that doesn't mean a thing. You don't know her like I do."
"Oh? And since when did you know everything about Sheena. I could've sworn that was Jane's cup of tea."
"Oh, just shut up. I'll prove it. C'mon, let's go talk to her." Billie Joe said as he started to walk toward the table where Jane and Sheena were once again in deep conversation, not expecting any interruptions.
"Well, maybe you should give her a-"
"Hello, Jane!" Billie Joe almost yelled out, cutting Jane off, as he and Mike reached their usual table.
Jane smiled a fake smile, and turned a warning looked toward Billie Joe. Billie Joe disregarded this, as he and Sheena were deep in a staring match. Jane didn't notice.
"Well, Sheena, I'm sure you remember-"
"Yeah, yeah, Billie Joe. How could I forget? But, if you don't mind, Billie Joe, I think my day would go even better if you would leave Jane and myself alone."
Billie Joe just turned to Mike and mouthed, "I told you."
He looked back at Sheena, and pulled out a chair, and sat down.
"Excuse me, but this happens to be where I sit every day, so maybe you should just get up."
Jane rolled her eyes, as she watched her two best friends fight like 5 year olds. She was about to speak up when she realized what she hid from Sheena all along; she had forgiven Billie Joe a long time ago. Sheena should have too, same with Billie Joe, but, they still both hated each other like, well, a pair of 5 year olds.
"Wait, Jane, I thought you said YOU sat here everyday." Sheena asked a bit confused.
"She does." Billie Joe cut Jane off before she could respond. He then sarcastically put his arm around Jane and smiled.
"She's my buddy."
Sheena just gave Jane a small look that seemed to say, "We'll discuss that later." She really didn't care. She just wished that Jane would've told her something before she had to sit there in front of everyone looking like an idiot.
"Oh, I see. Well, anyway, back to what we were talking about, Jane... " Jane was pleased that, although she knew her friend was a bit mad about not being filled in about a couple of different changes that she didn't seem to care what Billie Joe did anymore.
Jane smiled and opened her mouth, only to be once again cut of by, whom else, but Billie Joe.
"Wait, how about we talk Sheena? Ya' know, catch up a bit."
Jane lightly slapped Billie Joe in the back of the head.
"Will you stop doing that?" Jane remarked, refereeing to being cut off repeatedly. Billie Joe just waited for a response from Sheena.
"Sure, I guess." Sheena said, hesitantly, in between swallows of soda.
Jane and Mike just sat back and watched wondering where this was going to go.
"So, how's life?" Billie Joe simply stated.
Sheena smirked as she twirled chicken & noodles around with her fork.
"I'm afraid you'll have to be a bit more specific."
"Ok, like how is your picture perfect sister for one?"
This time, Jane cut Sheena off.
"Billie Joe, lay off."
Sheena cleared her throat as she placed an icy glare across her face, and directed it toward Billie Joe.
"No, it's fine, Jane."
Jane hesitantly resisted.
"Well," Sheena started, "She is at home, two months pregnant, probably searching for the father as we speak." She said smartly.
Billie Joe had prepared a smart comment, but, after that statement, couldn't find a reason to use it.
"Well, that's umm bad."
Sheena rolled her eyes.
"Thanks."
But, Billie Joe wasn't about to give up. Inside there, was still the real Sheena. Her smart mouth, yes, but her life was still pretty perfect, he just knew it.
"Ok, what about all the money?" Jane punched him under the table at this one.
"Dad's broke." She said simply.
"What happened with him?" Billie Joe asked, with about 50% curiosity, and 50% of him still trying to find saneness in this girl's life.
"He started drinking, lost his job, and now his lives off my step mom."
Jane knew what he was going to ask next, and she wasn't going to let him. Sheena didn't though. She wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to the situation at hand, for no apparent reason.
"Ok, Billie Joe," Jane said, attempting to wrap up this slowing going down hill conversation.
"I think you have caught up enough."
Billie Joe held his hand up having no idea what he was walking into.
"No, no, just one more."
"But Billie-" Jane started.
"No, Jane, it's fine. Just promise after this I can finish eating and catching up with Jane."
"Done. But anyway, you said step mom, what happened to your perfect mom who knew anything and everything about everyone, and just everyone? Did she and your dad spit or something?" Billie Joe said with a smart tone.
This time Jane hit Billie a little harder, and he looked at her confused, as her own eyes filled with tears, as she recalled the memory that Billie Joe still knew nothing of. Both were shaken out of their thoughts as Sheena replied a little louder this time.
"OK! Ya' know what, Billie Joe? She died. Three years ago. So if you are done now, I'll be leaving!" She said, with a few stay tears already down her face. Sheena picked up her tray, and went to go sit at an empty table, only to put her head in her arms for a minute to collect herself.
Jane wiped away tears on the verge of falling as she was reminded also. Since she was Sheena's best friend, she was very close to her mother too. Not as close as Sheena of course, but close.
Billie Joe tried to put an arm around Jane, and hug, realizing what he had just done, but Jane jerked away, and stood up.
"Jane I'm sorry I didn't know."
Jane shook her head.
"So what? You mean if you had known her mother was dead you wouldn't have pressured her into remembering everything wrong and terrible in her life? How nice, Billie Joe, how nice."
"No, I didn't know she was in such bad shape now."
"Gee, Billie Joe, don't prove my point." Jane said angrily, and walked off to join Sheena.
"Aw fuck man... " Billie Joe said as he put his own head in his hands. He knew how bad it hurt to lose a dad, and he imagined a mother was no better. If someone had put him through what he just put Sheena through he'd... O shit, how could he do that? No bad past time could make Billie Joe feel any less guilty.
"Ya' know what, Billie Joe?" he heard Mike say over his shoulder. "This for once is your fault. You could have just let this all go, but no. And now look what you have done. I hate to say it, but how could you?"
Sheena, or Haushinka, (whatever) turned around, startled, as she was clearly greeted by her long time friend. Jane scrambled through a variety of high-schoolers on their way to lunch as if they hadn't eaten in three days.
Once Jane reached Sheena, she pulled her into a hug. Sheena returned the hug.
"Uhhh, Jane, you're going to have to let me go sooner or later, ya know?"
Jane pulled away, and just smiled at her.
"I'm sorry; it's just so good to see you again. In fact, I didn't even think twice about calling you Haushinka. What exactly do you go by anymore?"
Sheena smiled.
"No, that's fine. I pretty much go by whatever anymore. But I like it when you call me that. It's just like old times."
Jane smiled.
"Yeah. Wow, we sound like we are fifty. Let's go to lunch."
Jane and Sheena were sitting at Jane's usual lunch table talking it up. It was amazing; they wrote each other almost every day, yet there was enough to keep them going for days.
"So, how's Maradith?" Jane asked after taking a swig of her bottled water.
"She's fine. She's a little over two months along, but she still can't get the guy to talk to her."
"The guy? Don't you know his name?"
"Well," Sheena started, "She does, but to tell you the truth, I lost track awhile ago. It was kinda' hard anyway. She was really never home much."
"Oh, yeah." Jane said, while subconsciously trying to comfort her friend.
Jane wondered for a minute if she should bring up Sheena's family. She knew how bad it was for her right now, but damn curiosity got the best of her.
"So, how do you like your new step mom, if you don't mind me asking?"
Sheena smiled. She didn't think her best friend would bring that up. To say the least, it caught her off guard. She didn't exactly know how to respond to that. She had no problem talking about her home situation; why should she? It was the actual thing that scared her; words didn't. She had honestly escaped any fear of words in the past couple of years. The meant nothing anymore, but back to the situation at hand. She hated her step mom. Maybe it was because she had a daughter, and her step mother, and her father both seemed to favor Chelsea more than her. But, that didn't really bother her; again with the words. It was really just because she wasn't her mother; the usual case. But Sheena was far from admitting that. It would mean another breakdown.
"Oh, I'm sorry Haushinka. I didn't mean to upset you." Jane quickly stated once she saw tears brimming Sheena's eyes; tears Sheena didn't even realize were there.
"No, no, Jane, you didn't. I hate her, it's that simple. But her daughter, Chelsea, well, you can't help but like her. Honestly, I've tried; it doesn't work."
Jane smiled and giggled a bit, happy with her friend's quick recovery.
*******
"No, seriously, she didn't look anything like she used to."
Billie Joe and Mike were just no entering the cafeteria, obviously late. It had to do with something about 409 in a coffeemaker... ... ... .
Mike shot a sideways glance at his friend, as Billie Joe continued to tell the tale of his "caught of guard-ness." He knew what was going on in his mind. He knew him better than anyone else; probably even himself.
"Don't tell me BJ, you thought she was pretty."
Billie Joe glared at Mike, but Mike held no doubt, and Billie knew he would have to give in.
"Well, yeah, but I'm sure she is just the same. Ya' know, prissy, bitchy, rich, all the above." Billie Joe responded as he paid for his soda.
"You mean the one Jane is talking to? You know, the one with ratty jeans, an old black hoodie, and a banged up pair of Chuck Taylors?"
Billie Joe turned and looked in the same direction Mike was. He didn't get a chance before to notice what exactly Sheena looked like. He was a bit preoccupied in seeing someone he hadn't seen in oh, I don't know, close to 4 years. Either way, he was caught; Mike was right.
"Mike, that doesn't mean a thing. You don't know her like I do."
"Oh? And since when did you know everything about Sheena. I could've sworn that was Jane's cup of tea."
"Oh, just shut up. I'll prove it. C'mon, let's go talk to her." Billie Joe said as he started to walk toward the table where Jane and Sheena were once again in deep conversation, not expecting any interruptions.
"Well, maybe you should give her a-"
"Hello, Jane!" Billie Joe almost yelled out, cutting Jane off, as he and Mike reached their usual table.
Jane smiled a fake smile, and turned a warning looked toward Billie Joe. Billie Joe disregarded this, as he and Sheena were deep in a staring match. Jane didn't notice.
"Well, Sheena, I'm sure you remember-"
"Yeah, yeah, Billie Joe. How could I forget? But, if you don't mind, Billie Joe, I think my day would go even better if you would leave Jane and myself alone."
Billie Joe just turned to Mike and mouthed, "I told you."
He looked back at Sheena, and pulled out a chair, and sat down.
"Excuse me, but this happens to be where I sit every day, so maybe you should just get up."
Jane rolled her eyes, as she watched her two best friends fight like 5 year olds. She was about to speak up when she realized what she hid from Sheena all along; she had forgiven Billie Joe a long time ago. Sheena should have too, same with Billie Joe, but, they still both hated each other like, well, a pair of 5 year olds.
"Wait, Jane, I thought you said YOU sat here everyday." Sheena asked a bit confused.
"She does." Billie Joe cut Jane off before she could respond. He then sarcastically put his arm around Jane and smiled.
"She's my buddy."
Sheena just gave Jane a small look that seemed to say, "We'll discuss that later." She really didn't care. She just wished that Jane would've told her something before she had to sit there in front of everyone looking like an idiot.
"Oh, I see. Well, anyway, back to what we were talking about, Jane... " Jane was pleased that, although she knew her friend was a bit mad about not being filled in about a couple of different changes that she didn't seem to care what Billie Joe did anymore.
Jane smiled and opened her mouth, only to be once again cut of by, whom else, but Billie Joe.
"Wait, how about we talk Sheena? Ya' know, catch up a bit."
Jane lightly slapped Billie Joe in the back of the head.
"Will you stop doing that?" Jane remarked, refereeing to being cut off repeatedly. Billie Joe just waited for a response from Sheena.
"Sure, I guess." Sheena said, hesitantly, in between swallows of soda.
Jane and Mike just sat back and watched wondering where this was going to go.
"So, how's life?" Billie Joe simply stated.
Sheena smirked as she twirled chicken & noodles around with her fork.
"I'm afraid you'll have to be a bit more specific."
"Ok, like how is your picture perfect sister for one?"
This time, Jane cut Sheena off.
"Billie Joe, lay off."
Sheena cleared her throat as she placed an icy glare across her face, and directed it toward Billie Joe.
"No, it's fine, Jane."
Jane hesitantly resisted.
"Well," Sheena started, "She is at home, two months pregnant, probably searching for the father as we speak." She said smartly.
Billie Joe had prepared a smart comment, but, after that statement, couldn't find a reason to use it.
"Well, that's umm bad."
Sheena rolled her eyes.
"Thanks."
But, Billie Joe wasn't about to give up. Inside there, was still the real Sheena. Her smart mouth, yes, but her life was still pretty perfect, he just knew it.
"Ok, what about all the money?" Jane punched him under the table at this one.
"Dad's broke." She said simply.
"What happened with him?" Billie Joe asked, with about 50% curiosity, and 50% of him still trying to find saneness in this girl's life.
"He started drinking, lost his job, and now his lives off my step mom."
Jane knew what he was going to ask next, and she wasn't going to let him. Sheena didn't though. She wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to the situation at hand, for no apparent reason.
"Ok, Billie Joe," Jane said, attempting to wrap up this slowing going down hill conversation.
"I think you have caught up enough."
Billie Joe held his hand up having no idea what he was walking into.
"No, no, just one more."
"But Billie-" Jane started.
"No, Jane, it's fine. Just promise after this I can finish eating and catching up with Jane."
"Done. But anyway, you said step mom, what happened to your perfect mom who knew anything and everything about everyone, and just everyone? Did she and your dad spit or something?" Billie Joe said with a smart tone.
This time Jane hit Billie a little harder, and he looked at her confused, as her own eyes filled with tears, as she recalled the memory that Billie Joe still knew nothing of. Both were shaken out of their thoughts as Sheena replied a little louder this time.
"OK! Ya' know what, Billie Joe? She died. Three years ago. So if you are done now, I'll be leaving!" She said, with a few stay tears already down her face. Sheena picked up her tray, and went to go sit at an empty table, only to put her head in her arms for a minute to collect herself.
Jane wiped away tears on the verge of falling as she was reminded also. Since she was Sheena's best friend, she was very close to her mother too. Not as close as Sheena of course, but close.
Billie Joe tried to put an arm around Jane, and hug, realizing what he had just done, but Jane jerked away, and stood up.
"Jane I'm sorry I didn't know."
Jane shook her head.
"So what? You mean if you had known her mother was dead you wouldn't have pressured her into remembering everything wrong and terrible in her life? How nice, Billie Joe, how nice."
"No, I didn't know she was in such bad shape now."
"Gee, Billie Joe, don't prove my point." Jane said angrily, and walked off to join Sheena.
"Aw fuck man... " Billie Joe said as he put his own head in his hands. He knew how bad it hurt to lose a dad, and he imagined a mother was no better. If someone had put him through what he just put Sheena through he'd... O shit, how could he do that? No bad past time could make Billie Joe feel any less guilty.
"Ya' know what, Billie Joe?" he heard Mike say over his shoulder. "This for once is your fault. You could have just let this all go, but no. And now look what you have done. I hate to say it, but how could you?"
