Basket Case, chapter 1
Listen.
Once upon a time there was a band named Green Day. The members of this band were Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and Tré Cool.
After being on tour around the world, they decided to take a break for a bit. Since they were such a popular, amazing band, everyone was completely devastated! A fantastic band like Green Day taking a break, even for a little bit, is UNTHINKABLE!!!!!
Riot ensued. People dressed up as Mike, Tré and Billie dominated the streets, with vicious bloody mouthed houndogs. Green Day music was played continously everywhere. If people though Green Day had taken over the world before, then this was total domination.
Billie Joe was shocked at the riots. He phoned Mike, who had already been assulted by a Tré look-alike in his own house. Mike was still wrestling with him on phone to Billie. Billie could hear this.
"Mike?" He asked, "What the fuck is going on there?????"
"I'm trying to calm this.........STOP IT!!!! YOU'RE HURTING THE PEOPLE!!!"
"RAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Was the best reply Mike got.
"Look Mike we have to sort this out. People are going crazy. Adrienne was nearly murdered before by this mental woman who said she was my wife!" Billie exclaimed, close to tears as a man dressed exactly the same as him broke through a window and tipped the contents of his kid's fishbowl down the garbage dispenser.
"Well, what the hell are we gonna do, Billie?" Mike replied, slightly agitated. "Remember whose idea it was to take a break in the first place!"
Billie sighed. "Look, leave it and ring Tré. We'll meet at your café."
"Uh, Billie?" Mike said tentitavley.
"What?"
"We might want to meet somewhere else."
The band looked upon what had been Mike's faboulous restaraunt. Glass lay shattered across the floor, and the sign was half hanging off. The whole place was ablaze with fire.
"Oh my god." Billie said, almost in a whisper.
"I guess free beers are out the window for us now." Tré exclaimed dryly.
On the way there the band had been hit at, spat at, yelled at, taunted, and jeered.
"You know what?" Billie said in disgust, "I don't think we should get back together. These fuckers don't deserve it. If they were our fans they wouldn't treat us this way."
"They're just upset." Tré said. "And it's not everyone."
"No, but the minority outrules the majority in this case" Billie said.
"Okay. By the way, good choice of words. Can I add - chickens cluck."
"Strange........." Mike suddenley exclaimed.
"What? Me? I know." Tré answered. "But it's a bit of an innappropriate time to tell me."
"No. None of these people are our fans. We would recognise them, after all our tours. And.............oh my god..............."
"What?" Tré asked.
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!"
"WHAT?????"
"LOOK!!!"
Tré and Billie looked. Slowly, all the people running riot were.........................changing into dogs.
"SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WOULD HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!" Mike yelled.
At that moment Jason White, an extra member of their band, ran up behind them.
"All humans are being evacuated to Mars. Hurry!"
"Okay. Oh shit!!!" Billie exclaimed.
"What?!" They all exclaimed, turning to him,
He looked at them, eyes wide. "I've lost my eyeliner!"
They got on their private spaceship (what? They're famous!) and flew off.
"Okay. So, no more breaks, then?" Billie asked.
"After that the only way were ever gonna stop performing is if someone shoots us on stage, severes our vocal chords, and breaks off our arms and legs all in one go." Tré said.
Mike's girlfriend looked shocked. "I'll never see you!" She wailed pathetically.
He looked at her, full in her eyes, and smiled. "No," He said softly. "You won't." And on that note, opened the escape hatch, and threw the bitch out into the gaping black hole.
"Good riddance," He called after her, and sat back down. Everybody was staring at him, wide eyed. "What?" He asked. "She was a clingy annoying bitch. I need a new girlfriend."
"Ok-ay then, moving on. What's our new album going to be called, since we have to make one, now we know the whole world will go into riot without seeing my gorgeous face day in day out?"
"Shut up, Billie, that's what," Tré snapped. "Or 'Tré is sexy, call if you want to whip him."
"It's going to be called 'Dogs Took Over The World, Ha Ha Told You." Mike said.
"Also we have a couple of new support bands for this tour. I suppose we'll be starting it early so I thought I should tell you." Billie informed them.
"What they called?" Mike asked.
"And I'll tell you something, they'ed better be better than Hard Fi" Tré laughed. "They just sucked. I mean, I've seen bands that suck before, but they were the suckiest buch of sucks that ever sucked."
"Oh, they are. Short Story Long and Unnamed Favourite."
"Okay, good. Better that the name Hard Fi. It's just pathetic. I mean -"
"Tré we get the picture. Shush." Billie said.
"Okay, God, I will do your bidding."
"Good." Billie replied, smiling.
"Billie??? Billie???" Adrienne shouoted through tears.
"It's okay. He'll be back with us in a minute." The nurse reassured her. "He hasn't been taking his medication. Have you, Billie?"
Billie awoke, and looked around, White. All white. His eyes fell on his wife, his beautiful wife. She smiled at him through her tears.
"Don't scare me like that." She said. "I can't stand it. I'm here. You don't need to dream to be happy. You don't need to dream of being famous." She cuddled him and suddenley his heart was filled with icy cold dread.
"What?" He asked.
"Billie." She said, pained. "Please. Don't make this harder. I still love the songs you write for me. Sing to me."
He sang to her until it was time for her to go.
"Keep taking your medication. We need you to gget better. Mike, Tré, Joseph, Jakob, all of us. Please. Please. I'll come back tomorrow. Promise." She smiled again, and left.
Billie reached down to the bottom of his bed, to the file lying at the bottom of it. He opened it up, and read, right on the front page:
BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG
SUFFERS FROM SERIOUS DILLUSION, AND BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
is convinced he is a famous rock star
in a band named Green Day.
Retreats to this fantasy in his head at every opportunity
Treat with extreme caution
Billie's blood ran cold, and he lay down on the bed shaking. After a few minutes. he fell asleep. He woke to Mike calling him.
"Wake up, Billie." He was saying. "We're on in six minutes!"
Once upon a time there was a band named Green Day. The members of this band were Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and Tré Cool.
After being on tour around the world, they decided to take a break for a bit. Since they were such a popular, amazing band, everyone was completely devastated! A fantastic band like Green Day taking a break, even for a little bit, is UNTHINKABLE!!!!!
Riot ensued. People dressed up as Mike, Tré and Billie dominated the streets, with vicious bloody mouthed houndogs. Green Day music was played continously everywhere. If people though Green Day had taken over the world before, then this was total domination.
Billie Joe was shocked at the riots. He phoned Mike, who had already been assulted by a Tré look-alike in his own house. Mike was still wrestling with him on phone to Billie. Billie could hear this.
"Mike?" He asked, "What the fuck is going on there?????"
"I'm trying to calm this.........STOP IT!!!! YOU'RE HURTING THE PEOPLE!!!"
"RAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Was the best reply Mike got.
"Look Mike we have to sort this out. People are going crazy. Adrienne was nearly murdered before by this mental woman who said she was my wife!" Billie exclaimed, close to tears as a man dressed exactly the same as him broke through a window and tipped the contents of his kid's fishbowl down the garbage dispenser.
"Well, what the hell are we gonna do, Billie?" Mike replied, slightly agitated. "Remember whose idea it was to take a break in the first place!"
Billie sighed. "Look, leave it and ring Tré. We'll meet at your café."
"Uh, Billie?" Mike said tentitavley.
"What?"
"We might want to meet somewhere else."
The band looked upon what had been Mike's faboulous restaraunt. Glass lay shattered across the floor, and the sign was half hanging off. The whole place was ablaze with fire.
"Oh my god." Billie said, almost in a whisper.
"I guess free beers are out the window for us now." Tré exclaimed dryly.
On the way there the band had been hit at, spat at, yelled at, taunted, and jeered.
"You know what?" Billie said in disgust, "I don't think we should get back together. These fuckers don't deserve it. If they were our fans they wouldn't treat us this way."
"They're just upset." Tré said. "And it's not everyone."
"No, but the minority outrules the majority in this case" Billie said.
"Okay. By the way, good choice of words. Can I add - chickens cluck."
"Strange........." Mike suddenley exclaimed.
"What? Me? I know." Tré answered. "But it's a bit of an innappropriate time to tell me."
"No. None of these people are our fans. We would recognise them, after all our tours. And.............oh my god..............."
"What?" Tré asked.
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!"
"WHAT?????"
"LOOK!!!"
Tré and Billie looked. Slowly, all the people running riot were.........................changing into dogs.
"SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WOULD HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!" Mike yelled.
At that moment Jason White, an extra member of their band, ran up behind them.
"All humans are being evacuated to Mars. Hurry!"
"Okay. Oh shit!!!" Billie exclaimed.
"What?!" They all exclaimed, turning to him,
He looked at them, eyes wide. "I've lost my eyeliner!"
They got on their private spaceship (what? They're famous!) and flew off.
"Okay. So, no more breaks, then?" Billie asked.
"After that the only way were ever gonna stop performing is if someone shoots us on stage, severes our vocal chords, and breaks off our arms and legs all in one go." Tré said.
Mike's girlfriend looked shocked. "I'll never see you!" She wailed pathetically.
He looked at her, full in her eyes, and smiled. "No," He said softly. "You won't." And on that note, opened the escape hatch, and threw the bitch out into the gaping black hole.
"Good riddance," He called after her, and sat back down. Everybody was staring at him, wide eyed. "What?" He asked. "She was a clingy annoying bitch. I need a new girlfriend."
"Ok-ay then, moving on. What's our new album going to be called, since we have to make one, now we know the whole world will go into riot without seeing my gorgeous face day in day out?"
"Shut up, Billie, that's what," Tré snapped. "Or 'Tré is sexy, call if you want to whip him."
"It's going to be called 'Dogs Took Over The World, Ha Ha Told You." Mike said.
"Also we have a couple of new support bands for this tour. I suppose we'll be starting it early so I thought I should tell you." Billie informed them.
"What they called?" Mike asked.
"And I'll tell you something, they'ed better be better than Hard Fi" Tré laughed. "They just sucked. I mean, I've seen bands that suck before, but they were the suckiest buch of sucks that ever sucked."
"Oh, they are. Short Story Long and Unnamed Favourite."
"Okay, good. Better that the name Hard Fi. It's just pathetic. I mean -"
"Tré we get the picture. Shush." Billie said.
"Okay, God, I will do your bidding."
"Good." Billie replied, smiling.
"Billie??? Billie???" Adrienne shouoted through tears.
"It's okay. He'll be back with us in a minute." The nurse reassured her. "He hasn't been taking his medication. Have you, Billie?"
Billie awoke, and looked around, White. All white. His eyes fell on his wife, his beautiful wife. She smiled at him through her tears.
"Don't scare me like that." She said. "I can't stand it. I'm here. You don't need to dream to be happy. You don't need to dream of being famous." She cuddled him and suddenley his heart was filled with icy cold dread.
"What?" He asked.
"Billie." She said, pained. "Please. Don't make this harder. I still love the songs you write for me. Sing to me."
He sang to her until it was time for her to go.
"Keep taking your medication. We need you to gget better. Mike, Tré, Joseph, Jakob, all of us. Please. Please. I'll come back tomorrow. Promise." She smiled again, and left.
Billie reached down to the bottom of his bed, to the file lying at the bottom of it. He opened it up, and read, right on the front page:
BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG
SUFFERS FROM SERIOUS DILLUSION, AND BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
is convinced he is a famous rock star
in a band named Green Day.
Retreats to this fantasy in his head at every opportunity
Treat with extreme caution
Billie's blood ran cold, and he lay down on the bed shaking. After a few minutes. he fell asleep. He woke to Mike calling him.
"Wake up, Billie." He was saying. "We're on in six minutes!"
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