American Idiot: The Story, chapter 4
The sun was leaking into the room through the crack of the blinds. I groaned and opened my eyes. The sun was right on my face. I sat up and looked around, remembering where I was. I smiled. Right about now, mom and Brad would probably getting into another argument about God knows what. I looked at the clock Tunny had given me and it said 8:30. I usually didn't get up that early, but maybe it was because I was excited to start a new life. I got out of bed, fixed my hair as good as I could and looked in the mirror. I looked much better this morning. I went into the bathroom, washed up (Tunny had given me some bathroom supplies), and then wondered what I could eat for breakfast. I got out of the bathroom, and saw someone standing in front of me.
"Hey. You must be the new guy. Jesus."
"Uh....yeah, I'm Jesus"
"Cool. I'm Kaibe. I live in room number 13."
"Oh, cool."
"So are what are you gonna do right now?"
"I dunno. Hopefully eat something, then go out for a bit maybe."
"Alright, I'll come with you."
Me and Kaibe walked downstairs. Not many people were up. Tunny was there with one of his friends, and a couple of other people were there. I guess, it's pretty early for them. Kaibe led me to a table and told me to sit down. He asked me what I wanted to eat and I said toast. He came back a few minutes later with toast on a napkin and a waffle.
"Heh-Heh.! I got the last one. Nige is gonna be pissed, he loves these."
"So, Kaibe, how come you're here?"
"What? Oh,, my parents divorced when I was five and then I was living with my mom. She always drank and smoked and did drugs. I tried to tell my dad and all he said was, 'oh son, I know she smokes, but she's trying to quit' When I was sixteen, I couldn't take it anymore. I went to live with my friend and when I was 19, I came here. She was so fucked up. All she did was yell at me. So then I fought back. I yelled at her and told her to fuck off and go to hell. God, I hate that bitch.."
"Wow, and I thought I had it bad."
"What happened to you?"
"My dad died when I was ten, and then my mom got really depressed. Like, two years later, she met someone. Brad. I hated him so much. He didn't deserve her. She was so nice and caring, and all he did was tell her what to do. I tried to tell her to break up with him, but she said I was being silly. Two more years passed, and they got married. It was the worse day of my life. I couldn't stand him. Sometimes they would fight, but it's gotten worse over the years. They yell so loud. I couldn't take it anymore. I just left. I mean, I don't wanna sound like a wimp by saying this but, I still love my mom, but as long as he's with her, I just can't stay there."
"Don't worry, your not a wimp. I still love my dad, but he just never listened to me"
I finished the last bit of toast and drank some more coffee. Kaibe who was already done, asked me a question.
"So your real name is Jesus?"
"Yeah, but back home, I was known as The Jesus Of Suburbia. So, what's your real name?
"It's gay. My mom thought of it."
"Hey, my name is Jesus. Guess what the kids would say to me in school"
"Alright, my real name is Cecil."
"Cecil? Why don't you call yourself Sess then?"
"I used to, but I saw the name Kaibe off a poster on a building once, so I call myself that now. Only you, Tunny, Nige and I know my real name, so let's keep it like that."
"Sure." I finished the rest of my coffee and wiped my mouth. "Wanna go?"
"Yeah, sure."
We got up and passed by Tunny, who looked pretty stoned. He asked us to join him, but we said later. I somked cigarettes, but I never did drugs of anything like that. But, if I was gonna live here, I was gonna have to try it out someday. Me and Kaibe walked out in front of the building. We looked around and saw a few people walking by. We noticed they were trying not to look this way. They probably thought this place was disgusting, but if they got to know it, they would stop calling it the "slums" and call it nice instead. We decided to go and check out my old neighbourhood. Kaibe wanted to see what it was like. We took two busses to get there, but finally we made it. I stopped in front of my old house.
"This is it. This is Hell" I told him
"It doesn't look so bad" he said
"Your not inside"
Just then we heard something. It sounded like a man's voice. He was yelling pretty loud. There he goes again, yelling at her, for no reason at all.
" I told, you I already looked for him!" Brad yelled
"Go try again! He's my son, for God's sake! I need to find him!" my mom yelled
"Well then you go look for him! I'm tired!"
"Brad! Please! You agreed to take care of him when you married me!"
"I agreed to marry you and nothing else! Stop spreading bullshit like that!"
"Brad!"
I heard my mother starting to cry. She cared about me, but he didn't give a shit. I knew he didn't like me, just like I hated him. I felt like going in and punching him. To make him feel as much pain as my mother did right now. If my dad were alive, I know he would be out searching for me. No, if my dad were alive, I probably wouldn't have left in the first place. I felt a little guilty. My mom, was so worried looking for me. She was getting yelled at becuase she wanted to find me. I turned around and started walking away.
"Jesus?" Kaibe said
"Let's go. I'm not staying here another minute."
"Jesus...."
"Let's go" I kept on walking and heard Kaibe come up next to me.
"Jesus, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine"
We took two busses and the walked the rest of the way to the hangout. We walked inside and saw Tunny laughing his ass off with his friends. We walked over to them and Tunny said,
"Kaibe! Jesus! Hey come over here and join us!"
"Sure" Kaibe said
I sat down next to Tunny, and took a joint from him and looked at it.
"Do you know how?" Kaibe asked me
"Uh....sort of....I've seen people do it before, but I've never tried it."
"Just try it, it's great." Tunny said
"Don't worry Jesus...let me handle this" Jimmy said to me in my mind. Jimmy took over my body and brought the joint to my mouth. He took a puff, and blew smoke out. I didn't cough or anything, but I felt a little strange.
"Like it?" Nige asked me
"Yeah, it's great" Jimmy said.
"What happened to your voice?" Tunny asked
"Nothing. It's just the drugs"
"Oh right" said Tunny.
After about an hour of laughing at the most simplest things, like finding an ant crawling along the table onto Nige's arm, I decided to go to my room for a bit. Jimmy told them that I had something to do and I went upstairs. I opened my door and slumped onto my bed. I felt a little woozy because of the drugs, but I was pretty much okay. I was still thinking about mom and Brad. How he yelled at her because of me. I still felt the pain inside of me. I never should've gone there. I was feeling pretty good before that visit, but then I felt like shit.
"What's wrong Jesus?"
"Nothing"
"It's about your mom and step-dad. I know it is"
"Yeah... Remember when I saw them? I feel completely guilty and I'm in so much pain. I hate seeing or hearing my mother like that."
"Don't worry, write your mom a note or something, then she can stop worrying."
"I guess, but still..."
"You're in pain?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, I have something for you. it was on the table, so I took it."
"What?" Jimmy pulled something out of my pocket. It was some kind of syringe.
"What is that?"
"This, my friend, is Novacaine. It will take away all your pain"
"All my pain? I'm having emotional pain, not physical."
"It'll work, trust me"
"Are you sure?"
"Jesus, have I ever been wrong about anything?
"No..."
"So then try it out!"
"Alright"
Jimmy iinjected me and all of a sudden I felt this sensation inside of me. I can't really explain it. It felt so good. I felt numb all over. It was great. Jimmy was right. I didn't feel any more pain. Actually, I didn't feel anything at all. I jst sort of closed my eyes and forgot about what happened before. I opened my eyes and everything was kind of blurry. I closed them again and then just dozed off into a deep sleep.
Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensation's overwhelming.
Give me a long kiss goodnight, and everything will be alright,
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
Give me Novacaine...
Out of body and out of mind,
Kiss the demons out of my dreams.
I get the funny feeling it's alright,
Jimmy says it's better than here.
I'll tell you why...
"Hey. You must be the new guy. Jesus."
"Uh....yeah, I'm Jesus"
"Cool. I'm Kaibe. I live in room number 13."
"Oh, cool."
"So are what are you gonna do right now?"
"I dunno. Hopefully eat something, then go out for a bit maybe."
"Alright, I'll come with you."
Me and Kaibe walked downstairs. Not many people were up. Tunny was there with one of his friends, and a couple of other people were there. I guess, it's pretty early for them. Kaibe led me to a table and told me to sit down. He asked me what I wanted to eat and I said toast. He came back a few minutes later with toast on a napkin and a waffle.
"Heh-Heh.! I got the last one. Nige is gonna be pissed, he loves these."
"So, Kaibe, how come you're here?"
"What? Oh,, my parents divorced when I was five and then I was living with my mom. She always drank and smoked and did drugs. I tried to tell my dad and all he said was, 'oh son, I know she smokes, but she's trying to quit' When I was sixteen, I couldn't take it anymore. I went to live with my friend and when I was 19, I came here. She was so fucked up. All she did was yell at me. So then I fought back. I yelled at her and told her to fuck off and go to hell. God, I hate that bitch.."
"Wow, and I thought I had it bad."
"What happened to you?"
"My dad died when I was ten, and then my mom got really depressed. Like, two years later, she met someone. Brad. I hated him so much. He didn't deserve her. She was so nice and caring, and all he did was tell her what to do. I tried to tell her to break up with him, but she said I was being silly. Two more years passed, and they got married. It was the worse day of my life. I couldn't stand him. Sometimes they would fight, but it's gotten worse over the years. They yell so loud. I couldn't take it anymore. I just left. I mean, I don't wanna sound like a wimp by saying this but, I still love my mom, but as long as he's with her, I just can't stay there."
"Don't worry, your not a wimp. I still love my dad, but he just never listened to me"
I finished the last bit of toast and drank some more coffee. Kaibe who was already done, asked me a question.
"So your real name is Jesus?"
"Yeah, but back home, I was known as The Jesus Of Suburbia. So, what's your real name?
"It's gay. My mom thought of it."
"Hey, my name is Jesus. Guess what the kids would say to me in school"
"Alright, my real name is Cecil."
"Cecil? Why don't you call yourself Sess then?"
"I used to, but I saw the name Kaibe off a poster on a building once, so I call myself that now. Only you, Tunny, Nige and I know my real name, so let's keep it like that."
"Sure." I finished the rest of my coffee and wiped my mouth. "Wanna go?"
"Yeah, sure."
We got up and passed by Tunny, who looked pretty stoned. He asked us to join him, but we said later. I somked cigarettes, but I never did drugs of anything like that. But, if I was gonna live here, I was gonna have to try it out someday. Me and Kaibe walked out in front of the building. We looked around and saw a few people walking by. We noticed they were trying not to look this way. They probably thought this place was disgusting, but if they got to know it, they would stop calling it the "slums" and call it nice instead. We decided to go and check out my old neighbourhood. Kaibe wanted to see what it was like. We took two busses to get there, but finally we made it. I stopped in front of my old house.
"This is it. This is Hell" I told him
"It doesn't look so bad" he said
"Your not inside"
Just then we heard something. It sounded like a man's voice. He was yelling pretty loud. There he goes again, yelling at her, for no reason at all.
" I told, you I already looked for him!" Brad yelled
"Go try again! He's my son, for God's sake! I need to find him!" my mom yelled
"Well then you go look for him! I'm tired!"
"Brad! Please! You agreed to take care of him when you married me!"
"I agreed to marry you and nothing else! Stop spreading bullshit like that!"
"Brad!"
I heard my mother starting to cry. She cared about me, but he didn't give a shit. I knew he didn't like me, just like I hated him. I felt like going in and punching him. To make him feel as much pain as my mother did right now. If my dad were alive, I know he would be out searching for me. No, if my dad were alive, I probably wouldn't have left in the first place. I felt a little guilty. My mom, was so worried looking for me. She was getting yelled at becuase she wanted to find me. I turned around and started walking away.
"Jesus?" Kaibe said
"Let's go. I'm not staying here another minute."
"Jesus...."
"Let's go" I kept on walking and heard Kaibe come up next to me.
"Jesus, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine"
We took two busses and the walked the rest of the way to the hangout. We walked inside and saw Tunny laughing his ass off with his friends. We walked over to them and Tunny said,
"Kaibe! Jesus! Hey come over here and join us!"
"Sure" Kaibe said
I sat down next to Tunny, and took a joint from him and looked at it.
"Do you know how?" Kaibe asked me
"Uh....sort of....I've seen people do it before, but I've never tried it."
"Just try it, it's great." Tunny said
"Don't worry Jesus...let me handle this" Jimmy said to me in my mind. Jimmy took over my body and brought the joint to my mouth. He took a puff, and blew smoke out. I didn't cough or anything, but I felt a little strange.
"Like it?" Nige asked me
"Yeah, it's great" Jimmy said.
"What happened to your voice?" Tunny asked
"Nothing. It's just the drugs"
"Oh right" said Tunny.
After about an hour of laughing at the most simplest things, like finding an ant crawling along the table onto Nige's arm, I decided to go to my room for a bit. Jimmy told them that I had something to do and I went upstairs. I opened my door and slumped onto my bed. I felt a little woozy because of the drugs, but I was pretty much okay. I was still thinking about mom and Brad. How he yelled at her because of me. I still felt the pain inside of me. I never should've gone there. I was feeling pretty good before that visit, but then I felt like shit.
"What's wrong Jesus?"
"Nothing"
"It's about your mom and step-dad. I know it is"
"Yeah... Remember when I saw them? I feel completely guilty and I'm in so much pain. I hate seeing or hearing my mother like that."
"Don't worry, write your mom a note or something, then she can stop worrying."
"I guess, but still..."
"You're in pain?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, I have something for you. it was on the table, so I took it."
"What?" Jimmy pulled something out of my pocket. It was some kind of syringe.
"What is that?"
"This, my friend, is Novacaine. It will take away all your pain"
"All my pain? I'm having emotional pain, not physical."
"It'll work, trust me"
"Are you sure?"
"Jesus, have I ever been wrong about anything?
"No..."
"So then try it out!"
"Alright"
Jimmy iinjected me and all of a sudden I felt this sensation inside of me. I can't really explain it. It felt so good. I felt numb all over. It was great. Jimmy was right. I didn't feel any more pain. Actually, I didn't feel anything at all. I jst sort of closed my eyes and forgot about what happened before. I opened my eyes and everything was kind of blurry. I closed them again and then just dozed off into a deep sleep.
Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensation's overwhelming.
Give me a long kiss goodnight, and everything will be alright,
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
Give me Novacaine...
Out of body and out of mind,
Kiss the demons out of my dreams.
I get the funny feeling it's alright,
Jimmy says it's better than here.
I'll tell you why...
