American Idiot: The Story, chapter 6
The next day I woke up, feeling better. It was 9:45 so I got up, and went to the bathroom. I washed up and went downstairs. As soon as I got off the last step, Tunny came up to me.
"Jesus, come on, I have to tell you about your new job."
"Uh....okay."
I followed Tunny to 'The Corner' and we sat down. Even though no one else was there, Tunny still looked around and whispered.
"Okay. This is how it's gonna work. You get up every morning before 10:00 and you come here. Ask me if anyone wants anything. If yes, then I'll tell you what time they're gonna be here. The room you go in is over there." He pointed at a door that read 'Do Not Enter.'
"There is a whole stash of different drugs in their. Look in the filing cabinet, I can guarantee you, there are no files in there. People are gonna wanna buy them from you. I have a price list you can follow for the first few days. Now, come with me" I followed Tunny inside of the room and inside there was a desk with one chair on one side and two on the other. Tunny opened one of the drawers and pulled out a piece of paper. There were different types of drugs with different prices.
"Now, you do not accept any offer that's lower than $50 that's written on this paper. Do not give into them. You also gotta be really tough. Tell them to fuck off if they won't pay our prices and always write down their names before you begin."
"Okay, I got it."
"Jesus, this is your last chance to back out of it. Are you absoulutley sure you can do this? You gotta be tough. You gotta be the boss."
"I'm sure, Tunny."
"Alright then. Here are the keys to the room. Don't let anyone else in. And don't tell anyone about it. Any questions?"
"Um...no."
"Okay then. If you ever need me, you know where to find me."
"Right."
Tunny took one last look at me and then left. I waited until he closed the door and then I sat down at the desk. I put the paper back in the drawer. There were a few pens and papers on the desk. I got up and looked in the filing cabinet. That was the biggest stash of drugs I had ever seen. There was Marijuana, Hash, Cocaine, Heroin and much more. I left the room and I saw that strange guy Dirk. There was something weird about him. He saw me and ran up to me.
"Hey JOS!"
"Uh...hi."
"What do you wanna do?"
"Um, you know I was just about to go out."
"Cool, I'll come with you." I sighed, annoyed. I thought if I got to know him, maybe he wouldn't be so bad.
"So JOS, where are we going?"
"Dirk, my name is Jesus, not JOS."
"Yeah, you're The JOS. So that's why I call you that." Okay, I was wrong. This guy was annoying, no matter what.
"Whatever."
"So JOS, where are we going?"
"Nowhere. I'm just walking."
"Oh okay. So how come you live at the hangout?"
I was so tired of explaining this story. "Because my parents are aliens who were trying to kill me."
"Really? Wow. My parents divorced when I was six. I lived with my dad and he was a drunk so I left. So how come your known as JOS?"
Isn't it obvious? Jesus of SUBURBIA? I couldn't stand this guy. I heard Jimmy telling me to shake him off. I told him I would just ignore him, but that wasn't good enough for Jimmy. He took control over my body.
"Why don't you stop aksing so many fucking questions and go fuck yourself, you annoying piece of shit!"
Dirk looked kind of scared. He stopped walking and so did I. He took a step back from me and whispered a small sorry. I was mad at Jimmy. I didn't want him to yell at Dirk. He was supposed to listen to me. I asked what was wrong with him and he said, he just helped me out.
"No, I'm sorry, Dirk. I didn't mean to yell out like that."
"I-it's alright."
We walked back to the hangout and I ran up to my room. I slammed the door shut and started yelling.
"Jimmy, what the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"Nothing. I helped you, just like I always do." He spoke so calmly.
"Jimmy, I didn't ask for your help this time!"
"Jesus, you're still weak! All the other guys out there don't act like you. They're not nice like you are. The only way to live like them, is to be like them! You need to start acting like me!"
"I...I...okay Jimmy, you're right. I'm still weak. You have to help me out. I am too nice. I want you to teach me how to become like you."
"Now your talkin'. Now get down there and we'll start our little 'lesson.'"
I walked downstairs and went up to Kaibe. He was watching basketball.
"Change the channel." I said as I sat down
"No, I wanne see this."
"This is shit, change the channel."
"No."
Jimmy started talking in my head. "Yell at him. Make him know who's boss."
"Change the fucking channel. Don't make me get up, Kaibe."
"Ohh, I'm so scared."
"Kaibe, change the channel. I'm gonna fucking beat the shit of you!"
"Okay, okay. Fuck, man. Don't know why you hate basketball so much."
He changed it to wrestling and I smiled. I did it. Jimmy told me he was proud of me, and I had done good. I was starting to become strong, like him. Just then Tunny called me over, so I went over to him.
"Yeah?" I said.
"We..uh...we have a 'customer'. Are you ready?"
"Hell, yeah."
I confidently walked into my 'office' and sat down. Sitting in front of me was a man, who had dark circles under his eyes. He was smoking a cigarette and smelled like one.
"So, your the new guy?"
"Yup. So I need your name."
"Call me, CJ."
"Okay" Jimmy scribbled down CJ on a piece of paper.
"Now, what is it that you want?" Jimmy said.
"I would like a bag of Coke."
"Right..." Jimmy wrote that down and pulled the paper out of the desk and saw the price was $400. "That'll be $400 please."
"I was hoping you could lower the price a little. If you ask Tunny, he'll tell you that I'm a loyal customer. I think $250 is good enough."
"$400," Jimmy said.
"$300."
"400 fucking dollars. I don't care if your Tunny's mom, it's either 400 or you can go fuck yourself!" I was shocked. Jimmy, really wasn't scared.
"Okay, okay. 400 it is."
He pulled 4 100 dollar bills out of his coat pocket and put it on the desk. Jimmy took it and got up. He went to the filing cabinet and pulled a bag of Cocaine out. He handed it to the guy and he stashed it away in his pocket. He muttered a thanks and left the office.
"Jimmy that was great," I said regaining control over myself
"Now, I'll let you try the next customer. If anything goes wrong, I'll take care of it."
"Great."
I left the office and went over to Tunny. He saw me and got up from his seat. Once he saw the money in my hand, his eyes lit up.
"So how was it?" Tunny asked. I explained the whole meeting. The part where he wanted a discount and he said he was a loyal customer, and I told him to go fuck himself and then he gave in.
"Great job! Everyone is always gonna want a discount. Even if people tell you that they know me, or we're friends or something, don't listen to that. It's all bullshit. My only friends are the people in this place. So here, I'll take the money and at the end of the week, I'll give you your money."
"Cool," I said and handed him the money.
"Actually, Jesus, someone is going to be here any second. I think you should go and wait in your office."
"Right." I walked into the office and sat down. I put my legs up on the desk and lit a cigarette. The room quickly filled with smoke. Just then I heard the door open. I put my feet down and saw the guy. He sat down and looked pretty arrogant.
"I would like some Hash," he said before I could even ask.
"What's your name?"
"Gird."
"How much Hash?"
"Two bags full."
"Right. That comes out to $850."
"$850? Maybe we could lower the price a little. How about $650?"
"800."
"675."
"I'm not going lower than $800."
"Come on. I come here all the time."
"I know that's bullshit. $800 or leave and don't ever come back."
"Come on, 700."
"800 or fuck off. That's my final warning."
"Ask Tunny. We're like best friends."
"I know for a fact that Tunny doesn't associate with cheapskates like you. Now, if your not gonna pay me the 800, get the fuck outta here!"
"Fine. But Tunny will hear about this."
"Go tell him. He won't give a shit. He'll tell you what exactly what I said." He paid me $800 and I gave him the two bags of Hash. He left the office and I went near the door. I pressed my ear against it and heared Tunny say:
"Get the fuck outta here!" I smirked. Some people just don't listen.
"Good job, Jesus," Jimmy said. "I knew you could do it."
"Thanks Jimmy."
I left the room and went to hang out with Tunny and the other guys. It was pretty late, so Tunny decided to open a few bottles of beer and take out some of the stash. We stayed up almost all night getting drunk and stoned. and that's how it was almost every night, and I couldn't be happier. I had the best life ever. But somehow, I felt like something was missing. I had great friends, a great home, a great job, a great life...so what was I missing? It was...love. I hadn't had a girlfriend since a year ago. Tons of girls came to the hangout, but somehow, none of them was what I was looking for. But on one July day, I finally met someone...
"Jesus, come on, I have to tell you about your new job."
"Uh....okay."
I followed Tunny to 'The Corner' and we sat down. Even though no one else was there, Tunny still looked around and whispered.
"Okay. This is how it's gonna work. You get up every morning before 10:00 and you come here. Ask me if anyone wants anything. If yes, then I'll tell you what time they're gonna be here. The room you go in is over there." He pointed at a door that read 'Do Not Enter.'
"There is a whole stash of different drugs in their. Look in the filing cabinet, I can guarantee you, there are no files in there. People are gonna wanna buy them from you. I have a price list you can follow for the first few days. Now, come with me" I followed Tunny inside of the room and inside there was a desk with one chair on one side and two on the other. Tunny opened one of the drawers and pulled out a piece of paper. There were different types of drugs with different prices.
"Now, you do not accept any offer that's lower than $50 that's written on this paper. Do not give into them. You also gotta be really tough. Tell them to fuck off if they won't pay our prices and always write down their names before you begin."
"Okay, I got it."
"Jesus, this is your last chance to back out of it. Are you absoulutley sure you can do this? You gotta be tough. You gotta be the boss."
"I'm sure, Tunny."
"Alright then. Here are the keys to the room. Don't let anyone else in. And don't tell anyone about it. Any questions?"
"Um...no."
"Okay then. If you ever need me, you know where to find me."
"Right."
Tunny took one last look at me and then left. I waited until he closed the door and then I sat down at the desk. I put the paper back in the drawer. There were a few pens and papers on the desk. I got up and looked in the filing cabinet. That was the biggest stash of drugs I had ever seen. There was Marijuana, Hash, Cocaine, Heroin and much more. I left the room and I saw that strange guy Dirk. There was something weird about him. He saw me and ran up to me.
"Hey JOS!"
"Uh...hi."
"What do you wanna do?"
"Um, you know I was just about to go out."
"Cool, I'll come with you." I sighed, annoyed. I thought if I got to know him, maybe he wouldn't be so bad.
"So JOS, where are we going?"
"Dirk, my name is Jesus, not JOS."
"Yeah, you're The JOS. So that's why I call you that." Okay, I was wrong. This guy was annoying, no matter what.
"Whatever."
"So JOS, where are we going?"
"Nowhere. I'm just walking."
"Oh okay. So how come you live at the hangout?"
I was so tired of explaining this story. "Because my parents are aliens who were trying to kill me."
"Really? Wow. My parents divorced when I was six. I lived with my dad and he was a drunk so I left. So how come your known as JOS?"
Isn't it obvious? Jesus of SUBURBIA? I couldn't stand this guy. I heard Jimmy telling me to shake him off. I told him I would just ignore him, but that wasn't good enough for Jimmy. He took control over my body.
"Why don't you stop aksing so many fucking questions and go fuck yourself, you annoying piece of shit!"
Dirk looked kind of scared. He stopped walking and so did I. He took a step back from me and whispered a small sorry. I was mad at Jimmy. I didn't want him to yell at Dirk. He was supposed to listen to me. I asked what was wrong with him and he said, he just helped me out.
"No, I'm sorry, Dirk. I didn't mean to yell out like that."
"I-it's alright."
We walked back to the hangout and I ran up to my room. I slammed the door shut and started yelling.
"Jimmy, what the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"Nothing. I helped you, just like I always do." He spoke so calmly.
"Jimmy, I didn't ask for your help this time!"
"Jesus, you're still weak! All the other guys out there don't act like you. They're not nice like you are. The only way to live like them, is to be like them! You need to start acting like me!"
"I...I...okay Jimmy, you're right. I'm still weak. You have to help me out. I am too nice. I want you to teach me how to become like you."
"Now your talkin'. Now get down there and we'll start our little 'lesson.'"
I walked downstairs and went up to Kaibe. He was watching basketball.
"Change the channel." I said as I sat down
"No, I wanne see this."
"This is shit, change the channel."
"No."
Jimmy started talking in my head. "Yell at him. Make him know who's boss."
"Change the fucking channel. Don't make me get up, Kaibe."
"Ohh, I'm so scared."
"Kaibe, change the channel. I'm gonna fucking beat the shit of you!"
"Okay, okay. Fuck, man. Don't know why you hate basketball so much."
He changed it to wrestling and I smiled. I did it. Jimmy told me he was proud of me, and I had done good. I was starting to become strong, like him. Just then Tunny called me over, so I went over to him.
"Yeah?" I said.
"We..uh...we have a 'customer'. Are you ready?"
"Hell, yeah."
I confidently walked into my 'office' and sat down. Sitting in front of me was a man, who had dark circles under his eyes. He was smoking a cigarette and smelled like one.
"So, your the new guy?"
"Yup. So I need your name."
"Call me, CJ."
"Okay" Jimmy scribbled down CJ on a piece of paper.
"Now, what is it that you want?" Jimmy said.
"I would like a bag of Coke."
"Right..." Jimmy wrote that down and pulled the paper out of the desk and saw the price was $400. "That'll be $400 please."
"I was hoping you could lower the price a little. If you ask Tunny, he'll tell you that I'm a loyal customer. I think $250 is good enough."
"$400," Jimmy said.
"$300."
"400 fucking dollars. I don't care if your Tunny's mom, it's either 400 or you can go fuck yourself!" I was shocked. Jimmy, really wasn't scared.
"Okay, okay. 400 it is."
He pulled 4 100 dollar bills out of his coat pocket and put it on the desk. Jimmy took it and got up. He went to the filing cabinet and pulled a bag of Cocaine out. He handed it to the guy and he stashed it away in his pocket. He muttered a thanks and left the office.
"Jimmy that was great," I said regaining control over myself
"Now, I'll let you try the next customer. If anything goes wrong, I'll take care of it."
"Great."
I left the office and went over to Tunny. He saw me and got up from his seat. Once he saw the money in my hand, his eyes lit up.
"So how was it?" Tunny asked. I explained the whole meeting. The part where he wanted a discount and he said he was a loyal customer, and I told him to go fuck himself and then he gave in.
"Great job! Everyone is always gonna want a discount. Even if people tell you that they know me, or we're friends or something, don't listen to that. It's all bullshit. My only friends are the people in this place. So here, I'll take the money and at the end of the week, I'll give you your money."
"Cool," I said and handed him the money.
"Actually, Jesus, someone is going to be here any second. I think you should go and wait in your office."
"Right." I walked into the office and sat down. I put my legs up on the desk and lit a cigarette. The room quickly filled with smoke. Just then I heard the door open. I put my feet down and saw the guy. He sat down and looked pretty arrogant.
"I would like some Hash," he said before I could even ask.
"What's your name?"
"Gird."
"How much Hash?"
"Two bags full."
"Right. That comes out to $850."
"$850? Maybe we could lower the price a little. How about $650?"
"800."
"675."
"I'm not going lower than $800."
"Come on. I come here all the time."
"I know that's bullshit. $800 or leave and don't ever come back."
"Come on, 700."
"800 or fuck off. That's my final warning."
"Ask Tunny. We're like best friends."
"I know for a fact that Tunny doesn't associate with cheapskates like you. Now, if your not gonna pay me the 800, get the fuck outta here!"
"Fine. But Tunny will hear about this."
"Go tell him. He won't give a shit. He'll tell you what exactly what I said." He paid me $800 and I gave him the two bags of Hash. He left the office and I went near the door. I pressed my ear against it and heared Tunny say:
"Get the fuck outta here!" I smirked. Some people just don't listen.
"Good job, Jesus," Jimmy said. "I knew you could do it."
"Thanks Jimmy."
I left the room and went to hang out with Tunny and the other guys. It was pretty late, so Tunny decided to open a few bottles of beer and take out some of the stash. We stayed up almost all night getting drunk and stoned. and that's how it was almost every night, and I couldn't be happier. I had the best life ever. But somehow, I felt like something was missing. I had great friends, a great home, a great job, a great life...so what was I missing? It was...love. I hadn't had a girlfriend since a year ago. Tons of girls came to the hangout, but somehow, none of them was what I was looking for. But on one July day, I finally met someone...
