American Idiot: The Story, chapter 8
My life was perfect. I had a perfect home, perfect friends, and a perfect girlfriend. But, I noticed Whatsername asked me for a lot of things. Sometimes, just after we came back from being somewhere, she would want to go somewhere else. I would tell her I was tired but she insisted. She also kept telling me that I should move in with her, or we should go to college. I told her I would one day, but right now, I was fine with my life. It was so annoying. She would be so needy at sometimes, but then she would be so much fun. Jimmy told me to break up with her, but I loved her too much, I couldn't leave her because of that. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I tried to talk to her about it once, but she got so upset. We were at the park one day, and Jimmy just couldn't take it anymore.
She's always living like she's running out of time,
Too much just ain't enough to keep her satisfied.
Her plastic card is filled with nothing comes to mind,
It's now her occupation that she's overqualified.
The Looks are always so deceiving,
The truth are always misconceived...
"Hey, we need to talk" Jimmy told Whatsername.
"Jimmy? What the hell are you doing?" I whispered to Jimmy
"It's time that we did something about her. I can't stand to hear her tell you what to do and what she wants. This is the last time Whatsername will ever do that" He whispered to me
"Sure Jesus" Whatsername couldn't tell it wasn't my voice. Jimmy smiled. They sat down at two chairs.
"I don't know if you realize this, but your always asking me for things. You're very needy"
"Jesus, I'm not needy. I just ask for a few things. And I do that so we can have a better realtionship"
"But it's obviously not working. It's a pain in the ass, actually"
"Jesus..."
"Your probably gonna tell me you can change, but less than an hour later your gonna do exactly the thing you promised not to."
"Jesus, I don't understand......"
I tried to stop Jimmy, I really did. I didn't want her to go. I tried to take control over my body just before he said those words. The words that would ruin me. I even tried to punch myself, but Jimmy had a strong hold over myself. I don't know why he was doing this, he always said it was my life, not his. So why did he make the decision? I was yelling at him inside his head. I yelled as loud as I could, hoping Whatsername might hear me and realize that wasn't me. I told Jimmy he was supposed to listen to me. I kept screaming my lungs out. Just then I wished that Jimmy wasn't around. Jimmy was always there to help me and I liked that, but just then, I would do anything for him to just go away.
"That's right. I'm breaking up with you."
Too much, too soon
To little and now your coming unglued
Too much, too soon
To late and now it sucks to be you
The look on Whatsername's face was what tore me apart. Her face had gone pale. Her blue eyes, were opened very wide and I could see a tear starting to form. I started yelling again. I kept yelling "No!!! Whatsername, that's not me!!! That's Jimmy!!" But it was no use. She couldn't hear me.
"But...why?"
"I told you, you're too needy"
"Jesus, I can change. I promise I will. I don't want you to leave me!"
"See, you're still doing it. Your still telling me what you want. You just can't keep that promise."
"Jesus, please! Please! We can work through this! You told me you loved me! You told me I was the best thing that ever happend to you and now you're leaving me because I ask you for a few things? Jesus, please! Give me a chance to change!"
"It's too late. The last time I tried to tell you this, you just got really mad at me. So at least this way, you can learn your lesson."That's when I got my control back, but it was too late. I started to cry.
"Wait! Don't belive what I just said! It wasn't me! I swear, it was Jimmy! I didn't have control over myslef! I would never break up with you because of that!"
"You expect me to believe that? You said you always had control over yourself! You said Jimmy only came when you said he could!" She started to cry. The tears were falling down her face and onto her lap.
"I'm telling the truth! I don't care what you ask me for! I still love you, no matter what! It was Jimmy, not me!"
"I know your lying! You don't love me! You never did! Goodbye and fuck you, Jesus!" She got up, and took one last look at me. I saw the tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were red. It was the first time I ever saw her cry and it was also the last. She turned around and ran.
She packed her bags and said goodbyw and bon voyage
Hell, we'll see you in Hell I hope you rest in pieces
Fuck you!
I don't know where she went, probably home, but she just ran. I got up to and ran as fast as I could to the hangout.I passed Tunny and he asked me for something, but I just ignored him and ran up to my room.
"Jimmy!"
"What?"
"This is the worst fucking thing you could ever fucking do!"
"How? By helping you?"
"Fuck you! How the fuck is that helping me?!"
"I got rid of her and her 'neediness' for you!"
"Go to Hell, Jimmy! You fucking ruined my life in one shot! I didn't want to break up with her! I love her so much and now she hates me and it's all your fault! All we had to do was talk about it, you didn't have to do that! And why the fuck weren't you listening to me?!"
"Because I knew you were just going to act all soft! I thought you were, but you're no where near strong!"
"I love Whatsername and it's up to me to decide if I wanna break up with her or not! Now I'm probably never going to see her again, or be with her! And it's all your fault!"
"Good! I told you she was no good! I knew she was just a bitch!"
"Don't call her a bitch! She was an extraordinary girl!
"A bitchy one!"
"Fuck you Jimmy!"
Just then I grabbed my stereo and threw it across the room. It smashed into pieces and I ran up to my posters. I tore them all down. I took my CD rack and smashed it down on the floor. I took my TV and threw it. It made such a loud noise, I thought I was going to go deaf. I ran up to my mirror and punched it as hard as I could. It shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces and my hand started to bleed pretty badly. But I didn't care. That was nothing compared to the pain of losing Whatsername. I just fell on the floor and cried. Jimmy, the one who saved me, the one who taught me to live, just fucked everything up, when I thought it was going great. I looked up and saw a picture of Whatsername. I looked around and saw more. I remembered when I took those pictures. It was about three weeks ago. We were having so much fun. I got up and walked out of the room. I went downstairs and saw Tunny. He saw me and came running over.
"Jesus, what's going on? We heard banging and yelling coming from your room. And dude, your hand, it's bleeding pretty badly. Come on, I'll help you clean it up." Tunny walked me to "The Corner", which was empty. Tunny and me sat down and he looked at my hand. He grabbed towels and handed them to me. I wrapped them around my hand and looked at him.
"Jesus, what's going on? What happened?"
"Whatsername...."
"What happened to her?"
I.....I broke up with her"
"What? Why? I thought you loved her! And if you broke up with her, then why are you so angry?" I remembered that Tunny never knew about Jimmy, so I explained the whole story. Tunny just looked at me.
"A-are you serious?"
"Yes! Jimmy's the one who asked you if I could live here! Jimmy's the one who sold the drugs, and Jimmy's the one who broke up with Whatsername!"
"Whoa"
"Now she hates me and I can never get her back!"
"Don't worry man, I'm sure she doesn't hate you. She'll get over it and then you can talk to her"
"Tunny, you don't understand! You didn't see her when I broke up with her! She hates me! And how can I blame her? Jimmy is fucking stupid! I told him not to do that! But he didn't listen! And the way he broke up with her! He wasn't nice or gentle at all! He acted the way he always does! I hate St. Jimmy! You hear that, you motherfucking, son of a bitch?! I hate you!"
"Jesus, calm down!"
"No! Tunny you don't understand! Jimmy ruined me! You don't have some bastard living inside of you, taking over your body once in a while so he can have his fun!"
"Jesus, I...."
"Just leave me alone!"
I got up and ran outside. I ran back to the park, hoping Whatsername might've gone back. I looked everywhere, but she hadn't. I ran up and down the streets, I ran to her house. Her blinds were open, so I looked inside, but I didn't see her. I went to the first restaurant we ever went to, but she wasn't there. I went to the restaurant she works at, but she wasn't there either. Where the Hell could she have gone? I went back to the hangout and looked everywhere, but I couldn't find her. I just fell to the floor again. I didn't care if people were staring at me. Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned my head. Tunny was there. He offered me his hand and I took it. He helped me up and put his arm around my shoulder. He brought me up to my room. We sat on the bed and he looked around.
"Jesus, if you need to talk, I'll be downstairs. Or if you just need help to clean your room, you can still call me"
"Thanks Tunny"
He got up and took one more look at me before he closed the door. Just then his face seemed to turn into Whatsername. She did exactly that before she left me forever. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I saw Whatsername's face, so I turned on my side. I saw her there too. I closed my eyes and I still saw her. She looked so happy. She was laughing and her face seemed to light up. I sat up. I couldn't take it. The pain was unbearable. I saw her everywhere. Everything reminded me of her. Just then I realized something. I still had some Novacaine in my drawer. I remembered when Jimmy gave it to me, and how good I felt. All of my pain went away. I opened my drawer and took it out. I injected myself and I already started to feel better. I started to forget about everything and I closed my eyes. I injected myself again and then I put the needle away. I slowly started to drift off into a deep sleep...
She's always living like she's running out of time,
Too much just ain't enough to keep her satisfied.
Her plastic card is filled with nothing comes to mind,
It's now her occupation that she's overqualified.
The Looks are always so deceiving,
The truth are always misconceived...
"Hey, we need to talk" Jimmy told Whatsername.
"Jimmy? What the hell are you doing?" I whispered to Jimmy
"It's time that we did something about her. I can't stand to hear her tell you what to do and what she wants. This is the last time Whatsername will ever do that" He whispered to me
"Sure Jesus" Whatsername couldn't tell it wasn't my voice. Jimmy smiled. They sat down at two chairs.
"I don't know if you realize this, but your always asking me for things. You're very needy"
"Jesus, I'm not needy. I just ask for a few things. And I do that so we can have a better realtionship"
"But it's obviously not working. It's a pain in the ass, actually"
"Jesus..."
"Your probably gonna tell me you can change, but less than an hour later your gonna do exactly the thing you promised not to."
"Jesus, I don't understand......"
I tried to stop Jimmy, I really did. I didn't want her to go. I tried to take control over my body just before he said those words. The words that would ruin me. I even tried to punch myself, but Jimmy had a strong hold over myself. I don't know why he was doing this, he always said it was my life, not his. So why did he make the decision? I was yelling at him inside his head. I yelled as loud as I could, hoping Whatsername might hear me and realize that wasn't me. I told Jimmy he was supposed to listen to me. I kept screaming my lungs out. Just then I wished that Jimmy wasn't around. Jimmy was always there to help me and I liked that, but just then, I would do anything for him to just go away.
"That's right. I'm breaking up with you."
Too much, too soon
To little and now your coming unglued
Too much, too soon
To late and now it sucks to be you
The look on Whatsername's face was what tore me apart. Her face had gone pale. Her blue eyes, were opened very wide and I could see a tear starting to form. I started yelling again. I kept yelling "No!!! Whatsername, that's not me!!! That's Jimmy!!" But it was no use. She couldn't hear me.
"But...why?"
"I told you, you're too needy"
"Jesus, I can change. I promise I will. I don't want you to leave me!"
"See, you're still doing it. Your still telling me what you want. You just can't keep that promise."
"Jesus, please! Please! We can work through this! You told me you loved me! You told me I was the best thing that ever happend to you and now you're leaving me because I ask you for a few things? Jesus, please! Give me a chance to change!"
"It's too late. The last time I tried to tell you this, you just got really mad at me. So at least this way, you can learn your lesson."That's when I got my control back, but it was too late. I started to cry.
"Wait! Don't belive what I just said! It wasn't me! I swear, it was Jimmy! I didn't have control over myslef! I would never break up with you because of that!"
"You expect me to believe that? You said you always had control over yourself! You said Jimmy only came when you said he could!" She started to cry. The tears were falling down her face and onto her lap.
"I'm telling the truth! I don't care what you ask me for! I still love you, no matter what! It was Jimmy, not me!"
"I know your lying! You don't love me! You never did! Goodbye and fuck you, Jesus!" She got up, and took one last look at me. I saw the tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were red. It was the first time I ever saw her cry and it was also the last. She turned around and ran.
She packed her bags and said goodbyw and bon voyage
Hell, we'll see you in Hell I hope you rest in pieces
Fuck you!
I don't know where she went, probably home, but she just ran. I got up to and ran as fast as I could to the hangout.I passed Tunny and he asked me for something, but I just ignored him and ran up to my room.
"Jimmy!"
"What?"
"This is the worst fucking thing you could ever fucking do!"
"How? By helping you?"
"Fuck you! How the fuck is that helping me?!"
"I got rid of her and her 'neediness' for you!"
"Go to Hell, Jimmy! You fucking ruined my life in one shot! I didn't want to break up with her! I love her so much and now she hates me and it's all your fault! All we had to do was talk about it, you didn't have to do that! And why the fuck weren't you listening to me?!"
"Because I knew you were just going to act all soft! I thought you were, but you're no where near strong!"
"I love Whatsername and it's up to me to decide if I wanna break up with her or not! Now I'm probably never going to see her again, or be with her! And it's all your fault!"
"Good! I told you she was no good! I knew she was just a bitch!"
"Don't call her a bitch! She was an extraordinary girl!
"A bitchy one!"
"Fuck you Jimmy!"
Just then I grabbed my stereo and threw it across the room. It smashed into pieces and I ran up to my posters. I tore them all down. I took my CD rack and smashed it down on the floor. I took my TV and threw it. It made such a loud noise, I thought I was going to go deaf. I ran up to my mirror and punched it as hard as I could. It shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces and my hand started to bleed pretty badly. But I didn't care. That was nothing compared to the pain of losing Whatsername. I just fell on the floor and cried. Jimmy, the one who saved me, the one who taught me to live, just fucked everything up, when I thought it was going great. I looked up and saw a picture of Whatsername. I looked around and saw more. I remembered when I took those pictures. It was about three weeks ago. We were having so much fun. I got up and walked out of the room. I went downstairs and saw Tunny. He saw me and came running over.
"Jesus, what's going on? We heard banging and yelling coming from your room. And dude, your hand, it's bleeding pretty badly. Come on, I'll help you clean it up." Tunny walked me to "The Corner", which was empty. Tunny and me sat down and he looked at my hand. He grabbed towels and handed them to me. I wrapped them around my hand and looked at him.
"Jesus, what's going on? What happened?"
"Whatsername...."
"What happened to her?"
I.....I broke up with her"
"What? Why? I thought you loved her! And if you broke up with her, then why are you so angry?" I remembered that Tunny never knew about Jimmy, so I explained the whole story. Tunny just looked at me.
"A-are you serious?"
"Yes! Jimmy's the one who asked you if I could live here! Jimmy's the one who sold the drugs, and Jimmy's the one who broke up with Whatsername!"
"Whoa"
"Now she hates me and I can never get her back!"
"Don't worry man, I'm sure she doesn't hate you. She'll get over it and then you can talk to her"
"Tunny, you don't understand! You didn't see her when I broke up with her! She hates me! And how can I blame her? Jimmy is fucking stupid! I told him not to do that! But he didn't listen! And the way he broke up with her! He wasn't nice or gentle at all! He acted the way he always does! I hate St. Jimmy! You hear that, you motherfucking, son of a bitch?! I hate you!"
"Jesus, calm down!"
"No! Tunny you don't understand! Jimmy ruined me! You don't have some bastard living inside of you, taking over your body once in a while so he can have his fun!"
"Jesus, I...."
"Just leave me alone!"
I got up and ran outside. I ran back to the park, hoping Whatsername might've gone back. I looked everywhere, but she hadn't. I ran up and down the streets, I ran to her house. Her blinds were open, so I looked inside, but I didn't see her. I went to the first restaurant we ever went to, but she wasn't there. I went to the restaurant she works at, but she wasn't there either. Where the Hell could she have gone? I went back to the hangout and looked everywhere, but I couldn't find her. I just fell to the floor again. I didn't care if people were staring at me. Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned my head. Tunny was there. He offered me his hand and I took it. He helped me up and put his arm around my shoulder. He brought me up to my room. We sat on the bed and he looked around.
"Jesus, if you need to talk, I'll be downstairs. Or if you just need help to clean your room, you can still call me"
"Thanks Tunny"
He got up and took one more look at me before he closed the door. Just then his face seemed to turn into Whatsername. She did exactly that before she left me forever. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I saw Whatsername's face, so I turned on my side. I saw her there too. I closed my eyes and I still saw her. She looked so happy. She was laughing and her face seemed to light up. I sat up. I couldn't take it. The pain was unbearable. I saw her everywhere. Everything reminded me of her. Just then I realized something. I still had some Novacaine in my drawer. I remembered when Jimmy gave it to me, and how good I felt. All of my pain went away. I opened my drawer and took it out. I injected myself and I already started to feel better. I started to forget about everything and I closed my eyes. I injected myself again and then I put the needle away. I slowly started to drift off into a deep sleep...
