What? I Can Dream Too..., chapter 3
*Ding dong*
"We have to get a better doorbell..."
"What was that, I can't hear you if you speak into the carpet like that."
"Well if you'd get the hell off me like I asked you to two hours ago, then you would be able to hear what I'm saying fucktard!"
"I heard that!"
"You were supposed to. NOw the get off me so I can go answer the door, something tells me that Mike or Billie won't..."
"Why not? They aren't that lazy..."
"WOuld let people in if you could stay on the sofa drinking and there is a distinct possibility that the people waiting to be let in are going to come and drink your beer?"
"I suppose not, go let them in."
"In case you had failed to realise, you're still on top of me drummer boy and I can't go get them if I can't get up."
"Carry me then. God, that was like the most obvious solution in the world..." Tre rolled his eyes, earning him a bitch slap across the back of his shin.
"Fine, let me stand up then..."
The look on Hannah's face was a mixture of 'how the hell can one person be so awkward? ' and 'I am actually going to fall flat on my face if he doesn't stop fidgeting' as she staggered towards the front door to let whoever it was in.
AFter manageing to get all the way down the stairs and remain upright, Hannah had just made it to the hallway as Mike wandered past as if nothing was going on.
"I am not even going to ask..." he muttered as he passed the two.
"NYAH!" was the only thing even close to a reply that he got before Hannah collapsed onto the floor, sending Tre rolling headlong into the opposite wall, whichc didn't seem to bother him too much. Mike decided it was safer to ignore this and carried on openign the door to let a rather loud and hyperactive group of Hannah's friends into the house. A quick inspection of the road outside from the doorway did nothing to explain why they had legged it in like some kind of psycho junkie transvestite whore was chasing them, but again he decided to ignore it. He had more important things on his mind..." THank you Mike... Yes, we'd love to come in Mike... Well thats a lovely colour on the walls Mike... Yes, I would like a drink thank you Mike-"
"First sign of madness - check!" Came a shout from the kitchen.
"I am not going mad, Mr Armstrong, I just like to be noticed when I do these things, not just be treated like a magical door opening fairy..." MIke did a little fairy dance into the kitchen. Tre glanced at Billie JOe.
"Now that has to be the second sign of madness, surely."
"Definately, I'd go and get a phone now," Billie did a stage whisper to Tre as he hopped of the worksurface where they had been sitting, putting an arm round Mike's shoulders, "Its OK MIke, the men in white coats will be back soon, why don't we go into the other room and have a drink before its all gone..."
"GOd, you can be a patronising little shit when you want to be..."
The guys wandered into the living room, faught their way past the 6 or 7 other people who had materialized in the room and grabbed a couple of bottles of beer each (grab it before its gone... ) and faught their way back across the room to the sofa against the back wall. Tre made it back first, followed by Mike who managed to make in back in a couple of steps, Billie Joe would have made it, if LIsa hadn't have jumped on him...
"LISA LURVES BILLIE JOE!"
"Feel free to ignore her, she's drunk..." Rachel shouted across the room, not taking her eyes off the magazine she had been flicking through in search of a conversation topic.
"But she's attached to my leg... And she's shouting at me... She's kind of hard to ignore..."
"DOES BILLIE JOE LURVE LISA?!"
"Yes, Billie Joe "lurves" Lisa. Can I have my leg back now?"
"YAY!" Lisa jumped up from the floor and hugged Billie Joe tightly before bouncing back to her drink, a slap across the head from Jo and a very strange look from Steven, strangely it didn't seem to sink in to Lisa at all...
"Is that page interesting Rach?" Tre tried to look over Rachel's shoulder to see what it was that she was reading, only to fall flat on face off the sofa.
"Hmmmmmm? What? Oh, sorry, I was confused..." Rachel put the magazine on her lap, but still didn't stop looking at it properly.
"Why? How confusing can a teeny magazine be really? Surely its just a case of 'this is a band, they're quite good and they're twice your age, but heres a picture of the half naked... Now you can win a CD by telling us the name of the magazine. Oh, and some ten year old telling the world that once she shat her pants cos she thought she saw the boy she fancied... ' I see nothing that could confuse you there..." Now Steven was trying to see what Rachel was reading.
"But obviously this one has an older average age for their readers. This problem page is all from people aged 15 and above... It has actually scarred me for life..."
"OH OH OH! Let me see!" Tre had jumped up from where he was sitting and grabbed the magazine out of Rachel's hands, reading through the part she had pointed to, making a strange face at it, then proceeding to read it aloud...
"Dear Sophie, I have a problem and I can't tell anyone, not even my best friend-"
"But you can tell the whole teenage populatuion of Britain... That makes complete sense..." Billie Joe looked just as confused as Rachel now.
"-ONe of my mates told me about vibrators-"
"I don't want to know any more thank you." Marian left the room, looking a bit like someones very angry aunt or something...
"Suit yourself... -and I decided that I would try to see what it felt like. The only problem was that I didn't have a proper vibrator, so I used my electric toothbrush."
Everyone else in the room was in hysterical laughter by this point, Tre could barely keep a straight face as he continued.
"I thought I was alone in the house when I tried this, but my older brother was in his room, and tried to come into mine as I tried this. So I Had to get rid of it quickly. As I pulled it out, the actual brush part got stuck, I decided I could get rid of it later when my brother had gone, but I must have pushed it further in or something because now I can't get it out. This was a week ago now. Please help, I don't know what to do. Worried Green Day Fan, London."
As he finished, Tre couldn't stop that laughter any longer. He was soon rolling around on the floor, helpless with laughter just like everyone else in the room had been as he read.
Ali was the first one to recover enough to be able to speak, "I don't even want to know the real answer to that... More beer anyone?" he said, staggering to his feet, almost breaking Jo's leg at the same time. "I'll take the hysterical laughter to mean that everyone wants one."
"There's none left in the kitchen, you'll have to go get some from the garage" Hannah called after Ali as she got up awkwardly to go upstairs, "I'm going to find some candy."
"YAY! CANDY CANDY CANDY!" Anyone else, and you could put the hyperactivity down to too much drink, but Tre was just always like this...
"Who said you were getting any?" Everybody seemed to be shouting between rooms today. "Why are the stairs moving? Thats just rude that is, just trying to confuse me..." Hannah muttered to herself as she staggered unsteadily up the stairs grabbing anything that looke vaguely solid to her.
"Be careful, I'm not going to hospital with you cos you were too drunk to get upstairs..."
*Crash* "Ah, fuck!"
"What was that you just said Rach?" Suddenly Mike wasn't at all drunk as he practically ran out to the stairs to see what had happened, closely followed by Rach, Billie Joe, Emma and Jo. Rach already had her phone out ready to dial.
"We have to get a better doorbell..."
"What was that, I can't hear you if you speak into the carpet like that."
"Well if you'd get the hell off me like I asked you to two hours ago, then you would be able to hear what I'm saying fucktard!"
"I heard that!"
"You were supposed to. NOw the get off me so I can go answer the door, something tells me that Mike or Billie won't..."
"Why not? They aren't that lazy..."
"WOuld let people in if you could stay on the sofa drinking and there is a distinct possibility that the people waiting to be let in are going to come and drink your beer?"
"I suppose not, go let them in."
"In case you had failed to realise, you're still on top of me drummer boy and I can't go get them if I can't get up."
"Carry me then. God, that was like the most obvious solution in the world..." Tre rolled his eyes, earning him a bitch slap across the back of his shin.
"Fine, let me stand up then..."
The look on Hannah's face was a mixture of 'how the hell can one person be so awkward? ' and 'I am actually going to fall flat on my face if he doesn't stop fidgeting' as she staggered towards the front door to let whoever it was in.
AFter manageing to get all the way down the stairs and remain upright, Hannah had just made it to the hallway as Mike wandered past as if nothing was going on.
"I am not even going to ask..." he muttered as he passed the two.
"NYAH!" was the only thing even close to a reply that he got before Hannah collapsed onto the floor, sending Tre rolling headlong into the opposite wall, whichc didn't seem to bother him too much. Mike decided it was safer to ignore this and carried on openign the door to let a rather loud and hyperactive group of Hannah's friends into the house. A quick inspection of the road outside from the doorway did nothing to explain why they had legged it in like some kind of psycho junkie transvestite whore was chasing them, but again he decided to ignore it. He had more important things on his mind..." THank you Mike... Yes, we'd love to come in Mike... Well thats a lovely colour on the walls Mike... Yes, I would like a drink thank you Mike-"
"First sign of madness - check!" Came a shout from the kitchen.
"I am not going mad, Mr Armstrong, I just like to be noticed when I do these things, not just be treated like a magical door opening fairy..." MIke did a little fairy dance into the kitchen. Tre glanced at Billie JOe.
"Now that has to be the second sign of madness, surely."
"Definately, I'd go and get a phone now," Billie did a stage whisper to Tre as he hopped of the worksurface where they had been sitting, putting an arm round Mike's shoulders, "Its OK MIke, the men in white coats will be back soon, why don't we go into the other room and have a drink before its all gone..."
"GOd, you can be a patronising little shit when you want to be..."
The guys wandered into the living room, faught their way past the 6 or 7 other people who had materialized in the room and grabbed a couple of bottles of beer each (grab it before its gone... ) and faught their way back across the room to the sofa against the back wall. Tre made it back first, followed by Mike who managed to make in back in a couple of steps, Billie Joe would have made it, if LIsa hadn't have jumped on him...
"LISA LURVES BILLIE JOE!"
"Feel free to ignore her, she's drunk..." Rachel shouted across the room, not taking her eyes off the magazine she had been flicking through in search of a conversation topic.
"But she's attached to my leg... And she's shouting at me... She's kind of hard to ignore..."
"DOES BILLIE JOE LURVE LISA?!"
"Yes, Billie Joe "lurves" Lisa. Can I have my leg back now?"
"YAY!" Lisa jumped up from the floor and hugged Billie Joe tightly before bouncing back to her drink, a slap across the head from Jo and a very strange look from Steven, strangely it didn't seem to sink in to Lisa at all...
"Is that page interesting Rach?" Tre tried to look over Rachel's shoulder to see what it was that she was reading, only to fall flat on face off the sofa.
"Hmmmmmm? What? Oh, sorry, I was confused..." Rachel put the magazine on her lap, but still didn't stop looking at it properly.
"Why? How confusing can a teeny magazine be really? Surely its just a case of 'this is a band, they're quite good and they're twice your age, but heres a picture of the half naked... Now you can win a CD by telling us the name of the magazine. Oh, and some ten year old telling the world that once she shat her pants cos she thought she saw the boy she fancied... ' I see nothing that could confuse you there..." Now Steven was trying to see what Rachel was reading.
"But obviously this one has an older average age for their readers. This problem page is all from people aged 15 and above... It has actually scarred me for life..."
"OH OH OH! Let me see!" Tre had jumped up from where he was sitting and grabbed the magazine out of Rachel's hands, reading through the part she had pointed to, making a strange face at it, then proceeding to read it aloud...
"Dear Sophie, I have a problem and I can't tell anyone, not even my best friend-"
"But you can tell the whole teenage populatuion of Britain... That makes complete sense..." Billie Joe looked just as confused as Rachel now.
"-ONe of my mates told me about vibrators-"
"I don't want to know any more thank you." Marian left the room, looking a bit like someones very angry aunt or something...
"Suit yourself... -and I decided that I would try to see what it felt like. The only problem was that I didn't have a proper vibrator, so I used my electric toothbrush."
Everyone else in the room was in hysterical laughter by this point, Tre could barely keep a straight face as he continued.
"I thought I was alone in the house when I tried this, but my older brother was in his room, and tried to come into mine as I tried this. So I Had to get rid of it quickly. As I pulled it out, the actual brush part got stuck, I decided I could get rid of it later when my brother had gone, but I must have pushed it further in or something because now I can't get it out. This was a week ago now. Please help, I don't know what to do. Worried Green Day Fan, London."
As he finished, Tre couldn't stop that laughter any longer. He was soon rolling around on the floor, helpless with laughter just like everyone else in the room had been as he read.
Ali was the first one to recover enough to be able to speak, "I don't even want to know the real answer to that... More beer anyone?" he said, staggering to his feet, almost breaking Jo's leg at the same time. "I'll take the hysterical laughter to mean that everyone wants one."
"There's none left in the kitchen, you'll have to go get some from the garage" Hannah called after Ali as she got up awkwardly to go upstairs, "I'm going to find some candy."
"YAY! CANDY CANDY CANDY!" Anyone else, and you could put the hyperactivity down to too much drink, but Tre was just always like this...
"Who said you were getting any?" Everybody seemed to be shouting between rooms today. "Why are the stairs moving? Thats just rude that is, just trying to confuse me..." Hannah muttered to herself as she staggered unsteadily up the stairs grabbing anything that looke vaguely solid to her.
"Be careful, I'm not going to hospital with you cos you were too drunk to get upstairs..."
*Crash* "Ah, fuck!"
"What was that you just said Rach?" Suddenly Mike wasn't at all drunk as he practically ran out to the stairs to see what had happened, closely followed by Rach, Billie Joe, Emma and Jo. Rach already had her phone out ready to dial.
