The Summer I Got A Life, chapter 17
"So you were having a sexual encounter with a pair of pants?" asked Mary. We had been talking on the phone for half and hour now, and from where the conversation was going, we wouldn't be hanging up for a while.
"It was not a sexual encounter", I said, "I just stepped on his jeans and it felt... Strange. But in good way, though".
"Which is the same thing as a sexual encounter", Mary said.
"No it's not", I said quickly.
"Yes it is", Mary said back.
"Nuh-uh"
"Yea-huh"
The argument soon turned into a screaming match and lasted for a few minutes until Tre screamed, "STOP FIGHTING! WHERE HAS ALL THE PEACE GONE?!?!?!"
"What the hell was that?" Mary asked, her voice back to normal.
"That was Tre", I told her.
"Oh. So what's it like, living with the famous Tre Cool?" Mary asked me.
"It's very.... Different, to say the least".
Just then, a noise erupted from the background of Mary's house. A horribly played guitar sounded though the speakers and a woman's voice began to sing. I immediately knew who the band was; it was Swimming Souls, the worst band ever devised.
"KILEY! Turn that shitty music off right now! I'm on the phone!" Mary screeched at her younger sister.
I could hear Kiley whining and protesting in the background, but eventually, Mary threatened her with telling mom that Kiley was invading her space. Thank God I didn't have a younger sibling. Or an older sibling, for that matter.
"Honestly, that band sucks. Hey, you know their guitarist, Cassandra Clemens? Well, I was reading some magazine last week and it took some sort of poll and seventy-two percent of people think that you, Kim Thompson, the new Green Day backup guitarist is better than Cassie Clemens, the supposed rock queen! It's true, too, Cassandra's really not that good", Mary told me.
"Well, even if it is true, Cassandra doesn't have people going up to her saying 'Why are you in this band? ' just because she's a girl! Honestly, you wouldn't believe the number of people who say that to me. She also never has to worry about money too, she makes a ton, she's famous, and unfortunately in our society, people like celebrities more than good musicians. I'm just a backup with no life".
"You do too have a life. And don't pay attention to those fuckers who give you crap just 'cuz you're a chick. You ROCK, dearie, and I mean it, one-hundred percent, which is more than seventy-two percent any day", Mary said. I couldn't help it. I let out the biggest grin ever.
I don't remember the next date as in numbers, but it was towards the end of August. I wanted to say that it was the twenty-fifth, but still, I wasn't sure. It was especially hot that day, so I decided to only wear a spaghetti-strap top and my old high school gym shorts and sprawled out on the couch with a small, electric fan in my hand. Apart from the humming of the fan, the only thing I heard was Billie Joe talking to the bus driver in the front of the bus. Since I was bored and in the mood to eavesdrop, I picked up on the conversation.
"Hey there, looks like you've got an invitation", said a gruff voice that could only be the driver.
"Yeah, that's what it is. Looks like they still throw that party every year", said Billie.
Ooh, a party?
"That's all I got for ya, bud. Have a kick-ass day," said the driver. "You too", Billie said, and began to walk. By the sound of where his feet were going, Billie was coming over to where I was spread out on the couch. He smiled at me when he entered the room and sat down at the end of the couch that my body did not occupy.
After a few moments of silence, Billie finally spoke. "I came to ask you something", he said.
"Well, then ask whatever question you have" I said.
"All right. Well, every year, there's this party called The Celebration of Autumn. As lame of an excuse it may seem to party, it's actually a celebration to congratulate all of the artists and band that had summer tours. It's held at this big, beautiful ballroom in Los Angeles and it is kind of a formal thing, so you have to dress up", Billie explained.
He continued. "So, I was wondering if you would like to go. With me".
I sat there, speechless.
"If you do want to go, you'll have to stay in California for a week or two. You can stay at my house, have fun, relax and go shopping for clothes for the party. If you don't want to go, I totally understand" he said.
I shook myself out of my dazed state. "I-I'd love to go. With you", I stammered, smiling.
"It was not a sexual encounter", I said, "I just stepped on his jeans and it felt... Strange. But in good way, though".
"Which is the same thing as a sexual encounter", Mary said.
"No it's not", I said quickly.
"Yes it is", Mary said back.
"Nuh-uh"
"Yea-huh"
The argument soon turned into a screaming match and lasted for a few minutes until Tre screamed, "STOP FIGHTING! WHERE HAS ALL THE PEACE GONE?!?!?!"
"What the hell was that?" Mary asked, her voice back to normal.
"That was Tre", I told her.
"Oh. So what's it like, living with the famous Tre Cool?" Mary asked me.
"It's very.... Different, to say the least".
Just then, a noise erupted from the background of Mary's house. A horribly played guitar sounded though the speakers and a woman's voice began to sing. I immediately knew who the band was; it was Swimming Souls, the worst band ever devised.
"KILEY! Turn that shitty music off right now! I'm on the phone!" Mary screeched at her younger sister.
I could hear Kiley whining and protesting in the background, but eventually, Mary threatened her with telling mom that Kiley was invading her space. Thank God I didn't have a younger sibling. Or an older sibling, for that matter.
"Honestly, that band sucks. Hey, you know their guitarist, Cassandra Clemens? Well, I was reading some magazine last week and it took some sort of poll and seventy-two percent of people think that you, Kim Thompson, the new Green Day backup guitarist is better than Cassie Clemens, the supposed rock queen! It's true, too, Cassandra's really not that good", Mary told me.
"Well, even if it is true, Cassandra doesn't have people going up to her saying 'Why are you in this band? ' just because she's a girl! Honestly, you wouldn't believe the number of people who say that to me. She also never has to worry about money too, she makes a ton, she's famous, and unfortunately in our society, people like celebrities more than good musicians. I'm just a backup with no life".
"You do too have a life. And don't pay attention to those fuckers who give you crap just 'cuz you're a chick. You ROCK, dearie, and I mean it, one-hundred percent, which is more than seventy-two percent any day", Mary said. I couldn't help it. I let out the biggest grin ever.
I don't remember the next date as in numbers, but it was towards the end of August. I wanted to say that it was the twenty-fifth, but still, I wasn't sure. It was especially hot that day, so I decided to only wear a spaghetti-strap top and my old high school gym shorts and sprawled out on the couch with a small, electric fan in my hand. Apart from the humming of the fan, the only thing I heard was Billie Joe talking to the bus driver in the front of the bus. Since I was bored and in the mood to eavesdrop, I picked up on the conversation.
"Hey there, looks like you've got an invitation", said a gruff voice that could only be the driver.
"Yeah, that's what it is. Looks like they still throw that party every year", said Billie.
Ooh, a party?
"That's all I got for ya, bud. Have a kick-ass day," said the driver. "You too", Billie said, and began to walk. By the sound of where his feet were going, Billie was coming over to where I was spread out on the couch. He smiled at me when he entered the room and sat down at the end of the couch that my body did not occupy.
After a few moments of silence, Billie finally spoke. "I came to ask you something", he said.
"Well, then ask whatever question you have" I said.
"All right. Well, every year, there's this party called The Celebration of Autumn. As lame of an excuse it may seem to party, it's actually a celebration to congratulate all of the artists and band that had summer tours. It's held at this big, beautiful ballroom in Los Angeles and it is kind of a formal thing, so you have to dress up", Billie explained.
He continued. "So, I was wondering if you would like to go. With me".
I sat there, speechless.
"If you do want to go, you'll have to stay in California for a week or two. You can stay at my house, have fun, relax and go shopping for clothes for the party. If you don't want to go, I totally understand" he said.
I shook myself out of my dazed state. "I-I'd love to go. With you", I stammered, smiling.
