Drenched In My Pain, chapter 5

Billie Joe realised I was about to say something so he turned his body to face me a bit more and he sat silently looking at me and I began " Um... im... im gunna start from... where started to go downhill and then my life pretty much falls to pieces" ok I thought in my head alright hear goes and I started my story " when I was six..I..I..I lost my mother... she fell from the top... of..the stairs.at our old house" I sniffled and tears came again. Billie was shocked but his expression softend, he had been through this already "I'm sorry" he said sympathetically he began to say something else but I waved my hand at him as if to say "there's more" as soon as I began to speak I could hear the change in my voice it was shaky "she was pushed..by..by my... " I stopped and said more quietly "father, by my father" I closed my eyes and bit my lip, keeping the tears inside then I got the sudden strength to continue " I ,I was the only one who saw it I was standing in the frame of my bedroom door I woke up when I heard them fighting Lily and Elise were still sleeping and he, he threatened me said he would hurt my sisters if I said anything" I paused "I loved my sisters so much..and if anything happened to them... " I shuddered at the thought at what he could of done to them then pressed on " They were fighting... " I said looking to the right recalling the argument "she..she threatened to tell the police about the abuse... she said that me Elise and Lily were the only thing keeping her from walking out on him... .she was so upset..or angry and he..pushed her" I pause as I remember this day, her scream still fresh in my memory. Billie Joe could obviously see the pain in my expression and he looked at me sympathetically, I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued "when that happened I shrieked and he turned around and saw me, he just told me to go back to bed and I refused I wanted to see that mum was ok but he just threatened me so I ran back to my room and woke up my sisters and told them what happened and we all cried ourselves to sleep that night. After mum died everything got worse he did even more horrible things to us." my hand shot up to my jawbone and I said " but I don't want to talk about that' Billie Joe nodded he was understanding but he looked horrified, this is obviously not what he expected, but I had started and I just wanted to get it over with