Your Dad's A What???!!!, chapter 1
I lay on the grass trying to decide whether the cloud overhead looked like three birds taking off, a Chinese dragon with wings or the welsh dragon with no legs. I gave up and closed my eyes, it was peaceful here. I thought I heard the grass crinkle but dismissed it. Suddenly I felt a weight across my midrift.
"Frankito, you get off me!" Frankito her best friend since she moved here when she was 6 nearly 10 years on and they were still friends, I could never stay mad at him for long. I slapped him on the forearm; he pulled it back cradling it and with mock hurt in his voice said
"Meanie" and pretended to cry.
"You deserved it you Pollock!" I retorted. We laughed; he was kneeling over my legs now, one knee either side of my legs.
"So when are you going up your dads?"
"Next weekend"
'Pooh' I thought 'a weekend of bumming around doing nothing'
"Hay I know" he said as he saw my deflated expression "Why don't you come with me? I'll ask my dad"
"Cool! One problem you're a guy, my mum probably won't let me sleep over, I don't think she trusts me enough" I say pointing out the floors in the plan as usual.
"Uumm... Okay I'll get my dad to ring her and sort it out if he lets you come." he smiled as he saw my face light up
"Great, fantastic, brilliant." (In this sentence brilliant is pronounced brill-i-ant)
"You went welshie again" he grinned
"well I have just been in the phone talking' to my friend in Wales" I snapped "ya know morgie!"
"Who?" a quizzical slightly stupid look followed this question.
"Morganna, you silly little foo-el (oh joy more pronunciations fool is one and Morganna is pronounced morgue-Anna not morgan not Morgan and not morgue-aanna, as I have heard when people try to pronounce her name, it a sort of a nasal thing that makes me cringe every time I hear it).
"Oh her!" he gets of my legs and sits next to me I cross my legs as he continues "So when did you guys meet anyway? You said you'd tell me and you never have." he stated matter of factly
"I met her when I was about three and she moved to the bottom of my street. I see her every time I visit my dad who lives in my old house before my parents divorced and I moved here with my mum. We saw Green Day together in Milton Keynes cos we couldn't get tickets for the one in Cardiff, it was so cool, my sister Harry went too she got there before us at 10 because she left from Birmingham where she goes to college. We got there at about 4 because we has to change trains and all that stupid stuff, and the fact that were lazy and won't get up before 9 on a weekend." I answered
"cool" he nodded
"So, what's your dad's name? I'd feel a bit stupid calling him Mr. Frankton's dad"
"his names frank, but call him Mr. Cool, its his nickname." an evil grin spread across his face, I laughed.
"What? What's so funny?"
"It's *breath* your grin" my laughter continues until I gasp "I can't breath" then collapse gasping onto the grass, he laughs harder.
"Git" I hissed
"what I'm laughing with you not at you my darling" he retorted with mock love.
"LIAR" I scream and jump on top of him tickling him "Liar! Liar! Liar!" I stop tickling him when he starts to cry, and laugh at him some more, now its my turn to be called a git.
"git, pregnant orange, pillow testicle!" he attacks
"pregnant orange? Pillow testicle? What's next the mutant from when pillows mate with oranges?!"
We laugh some more, then his mobile rings and we sober up a little ant try to act as normal but end up sniggering at each others attempts.
"Frankito, you get off me!" Frankito her best friend since she moved here when she was 6 nearly 10 years on and they were still friends, I could never stay mad at him for long. I slapped him on the forearm; he pulled it back cradling it and with mock hurt in his voice said
"Meanie" and pretended to cry.
"You deserved it you Pollock!" I retorted. We laughed; he was kneeling over my legs now, one knee either side of my legs.
"So when are you going up your dads?"
"Next weekend"
'Pooh' I thought 'a weekend of bumming around doing nothing'
"Hay I know" he said as he saw my deflated expression "Why don't you come with me? I'll ask my dad"
"Cool! One problem you're a guy, my mum probably won't let me sleep over, I don't think she trusts me enough" I say pointing out the floors in the plan as usual.
"Uumm... Okay I'll get my dad to ring her and sort it out if he lets you come." he smiled as he saw my face light up
"Great, fantastic, brilliant." (In this sentence brilliant is pronounced brill-i-ant)
"You went welshie again" he grinned
"well I have just been in the phone talking' to my friend in Wales" I snapped "ya know morgie!"
"Who?" a quizzical slightly stupid look followed this question.
"Morganna, you silly little foo-el (oh joy more pronunciations fool is one and Morganna is pronounced morgue-Anna not morgan not Morgan and not morgue-aanna, as I have heard when people try to pronounce her name, it a sort of a nasal thing that makes me cringe every time I hear it).
"Oh her!" he gets of my legs and sits next to me I cross my legs as he continues "So when did you guys meet anyway? You said you'd tell me and you never have." he stated matter of factly
"I met her when I was about three and she moved to the bottom of my street. I see her every time I visit my dad who lives in my old house before my parents divorced and I moved here with my mum. We saw Green Day together in Milton Keynes cos we couldn't get tickets for the one in Cardiff, it was so cool, my sister Harry went too she got there before us at 10 because she left from Birmingham where she goes to college. We got there at about 4 because we has to change trains and all that stupid stuff, and the fact that were lazy and won't get up before 9 on a weekend." I answered
"cool" he nodded
"So, what's your dad's name? I'd feel a bit stupid calling him Mr. Frankton's dad"
"his names frank, but call him Mr. Cool, its his nickname." an evil grin spread across his face, I laughed.
"What? What's so funny?"
"It's *breath* your grin" my laughter continues until I gasp "I can't breath" then collapse gasping onto the grass, he laughs harder.
"Git" I hissed
"what I'm laughing with you not at you my darling" he retorted with mock love.
"LIAR" I scream and jump on top of him tickling him "Liar! Liar! Liar!" I stop tickling him when he starts to cry, and laugh at him some more, now its my turn to be called a git.
"git, pregnant orange, pillow testicle!" he attacks
"pregnant orange? Pillow testicle? What's next the mutant from when pillows mate with oranges?!"
We laugh some more, then his mobile rings and we sober up a little ant try to act as normal but end up sniggering at each others attempts.
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