A Night To Remember, chapter 6
There, staring at them through the glass, was the hairy face of a yeti. They stopped screaming and started to laugh. The lights turned on again.
"Good one Jason!" Mike shouted at the yeti. He lifted Billie Joe up again and he opened the sunroof. The yeti tumbled down and landed on Billie Joe and Mike.
"Oh man, you've put on some weight!" Billie gasped. The yeti stood up. Mike and Billie struggled to their feet. Mike eyed the yeti suspiciously.
"How did you get the lights to go out? That was pretty freaky." Tré said.
"Guys, that's not Jason." Mike said.
"How do you figure?" Billie asked.
"Since when has Jason been that tall? And where's the costume zipper? Looks pretty real to me."
"Oh shut the fuck up Mike." Tré said. "Yeti's aren't real!"
The yeti growled. It didn't sound human. Billie backed a way a little.
"Oh come on!" Tré said. He pushed past Billie Joe and Mike, slid under the yeti's legs and started checking for the zip. The yeti turned round and smiled at him with apelike yellowed teeth. The yeti grabbed Tré by his shirt and lifted him up into the air. Tré struggled, but it was no good. The yeti tossed him neatly aside. He landed on the sofa with a thud and rolled onto the floor.
"Jesus." He said. He joined Billie Joe and Mike, who were backing slowly against the wall. Tré's wristwatch beeped. It was midnight.
The yeti towered over them.
"Sorry about that, the door was jammed."
The Green Day trio glanced at each other. The yeti was talking in a posh English accent. Talking!
"I knew you were a man in a suit!" Tré said.
"Not at all. I am a yeti. I thought you would have realised that when I threw you half way across the tour bus." The yeti said. Tré still looked sceptical.
"Oh yeah?" He pulled and tugged at the yeti's fur. The yeti growled again.
"Stop that! It hurts!"
"There -must -be -a -zipper -here -somewhere!" He said as he yanked even more at the fur. The yeti picked Tré up again, but this time it was by the throat. Tré gasped for breath.
"If you pull my hair one more time, I will get VERY angry." Yeti said. He dropped Tré on the floor, and he lay there panting. Billie Joe and Mike looked terrified.
"I'm sorry about that." The yeti apologised and picked Tré up and dusted him off. "I just lose control sometimes."
There was an awkward silence for a while. What can you say to a yeti? The yeti sat down on the sofa.
"Please sit down, I have to tell you something." They did as they were told. They had already learnt one lesson: Never fuck with a yeti.
"I come from the Grampian Mountains, it's a range not too far away. I suppose you've been wondering why there has been so much snow today?"
"Well yeah, but the weather said it was a freak storm from the Arctic." Billie Joe said. The yeti looked at him.
"They don't know the truth. It's impossible for weather to come from the Arctic that's this severe at this time of year. No, the real cause is... ..
The Nazi's.
There was a long pause.
"You mean." Tré said. "Like, the Nazi party?"
"Yes." The yeti said.
"The Nazi's?" Mike asked.
"Yes."
"Hitler and stuff with the flag?" Billie asked.
"Yes!"
There was a longer pause.
"Uh. How did they um, do this?" Billie Joe asked.
The yeti sighed.
"You must be aware that The Nazi's are evil little shits that will do anything to cause death and destruction! Isn't it obvious to you how they caused all the snow?"
"No." Tré said. "We don't have fucking spider sense." Tré glared at the yeti . He seemed to be taking a disliking to him.
"The Nazi's." Yeti said with a dramatic whisper. "Are the devil's minions."
Green Day started to laugh. First it was Tré giggling, and then they all joined in until they were all rolling around crying with laughter. Yeti seemed annoyed.
"SILENCE!" Yeti boomed. They stopped themselves.
"Sorry" Said Billie as he wiped his eyes. "It's just a little hard to believe."
"I'm being serious! The Nazi's used their powers to snow you into your bus."
"Why?" Tré asked.
"They want to steal your gig in Milton Keynes."
There was a shocked silence.
"B-But wouldn't our fans start a huge fucking riot?" Billie said. "They wouldn't stand for it!"
"Ah, yes. Your fans are extremely loyal, but The Nazi's have another trick up their sleeves. Their flying over 20,000 Nazi followers from around the world and are calling for more to drive to Milton Keynes in two days time. They are also planning to use mind control to subdue your fans and make them their own!"
"NO! They cant do that!" Tré exclaimed.
"They can and they will." Yeti said.
"What can we do? The doors jammed and we're stuck here." Mike said. Yeti smiled.
"Ah but you see, that's where I come in."
The yeti stood up.
"Come with me." He walked to the kitchen. "Oh, I suggest you wrap up warm before we go outside. It's very, very cold. And take some torches."
They started rummaging through cupboards and drawers. They found some jackets and scarves, and put on more layers of clothing. They all found a torch each. Yeti smiled.
"There, that's better! We don't want you getting a chill now, do we?"
"What are you, my mother?" Tré said. He really, really didn't like the yeti.
"No, I'm a yeti. And please, call me Steve." He opened the sunroof again. A flurry of snow tumbled down upon them.
"Wrap your scarves around your faces before we go outside." Steve said. They did as they were told.
"Right, I'll toss you up." He grabbed Tré by his jacket.
"No, no no! wait!" Tré squeaked.
Steve threw him right through the sunroof. Billie and Mike could hear him scream as he disappeared from view, and then they heard a light "thump".
"You OK Tré?" Mike called out.
"No! Fucking yeti fucking throwing me out into the fucking snow!" He hollered. Steve smiled wickedly.
"Would you like a boost up?" He asked Mike and Billie.
When they were all on top of the bus, they could hardly see each other. The snow was unbelievably thick. Steve immediately started walking. They flicked their flashlights on.
"Hey, hey wait!" Billie Joe called out. They could hardly see him against the snow. They tried to follow, but the wind was blasting their faces and making them stumble. When they got to the end of the bus, Steve was waiting for them.
"You have to go down there!" Steve hollered. He pointed down, and they looked over to see a large hole through the snow that went into the ground. Their torches couldn't penetrate the darkness. It looked like it went on for ever.
"Down there!" Mike screamed against the howling wind. "No fucking way!"
"You don't have a say anymore!" Steve shoved them all. They toppled into the darkness, screaming as they went.
"Good one Jason!" Mike shouted at the yeti. He lifted Billie Joe up again and he opened the sunroof. The yeti tumbled down and landed on Billie Joe and Mike.
"Oh man, you've put on some weight!" Billie gasped. The yeti stood up. Mike and Billie struggled to their feet. Mike eyed the yeti suspiciously.
"How did you get the lights to go out? That was pretty freaky." Tré said.
"Guys, that's not Jason." Mike said.
"How do you figure?" Billie asked.
"Since when has Jason been that tall? And where's the costume zipper? Looks pretty real to me."
"Oh shut the fuck up Mike." Tré said. "Yeti's aren't real!"
The yeti growled. It didn't sound human. Billie backed a way a little.
"Oh come on!" Tré said. He pushed past Billie Joe and Mike, slid under the yeti's legs and started checking for the zip. The yeti turned round and smiled at him with apelike yellowed teeth. The yeti grabbed Tré by his shirt and lifted him up into the air. Tré struggled, but it was no good. The yeti tossed him neatly aside. He landed on the sofa with a thud and rolled onto the floor.
"Jesus." He said. He joined Billie Joe and Mike, who were backing slowly against the wall. Tré's wristwatch beeped. It was midnight.
The yeti towered over them.
"Sorry about that, the door was jammed."
The Green Day trio glanced at each other. The yeti was talking in a posh English accent. Talking!
"I knew you were a man in a suit!" Tré said.
"Not at all. I am a yeti. I thought you would have realised that when I threw you half way across the tour bus." The yeti said. Tré still looked sceptical.
"Oh yeah?" He pulled and tugged at the yeti's fur. The yeti growled again.
"Stop that! It hurts!"
"There -must -be -a -zipper -here -somewhere!" He said as he yanked even more at the fur. The yeti picked Tré up again, but this time it was by the throat. Tré gasped for breath.
"If you pull my hair one more time, I will get VERY angry." Yeti said. He dropped Tré on the floor, and he lay there panting. Billie Joe and Mike looked terrified.
"I'm sorry about that." The yeti apologised and picked Tré up and dusted him off. "I just lose control sometimes."
There was an awkward silence for a while. What can you say to a yeti? The yeti sat down on the sofa.
"Please sit down, I have to tell you something." They did as they were told. They had already learnt one lesson: Never fuck with a yeti.
"I come from the Grampian Mountains, it's a range not too far away. I suppose you've been wondering why there has been so much snow today?"
"Well yeah, but the weather said it was a freak storm from the Arctic." Billie Joe said. The yeti looked at him.
"They don't know the truth. It's impossible for weather to come from the Arctic that's this severe at this time of year. No, the real cause is... ..
The Nazi's.
There was a long pause.
"You mean." Tré said. "Like, the Nazi party?"
"Yes." The yeti said.
"The Nazi's?" Mike asked.
"Yes."
"Hitler and stuff with the flag?" Billie asked.
"Yes!"
There was a longer pause.
"Uh. How did they um, do this?" Billie Joe asked.
The yeti sighed.
"You must be aware that The Nazi's are evil little shits that will do anything to cause death and destruction! Isn't it obvious to you how they caused all the snow?"
"No." Tré said. "We don't have fucking spider sense." Tré glared at the yeti . He seemed to be taking a disliking to him.
"The Nazi's." Yeti said with a dramatic whisper. "Are the devil's minions."
Green Day started to laugh. First it was Tré giggling, and then they all joined in until they were all rolling around crying with laughter. Yeti seemed annoyed.
"SILENCE!" Yeti boomed. They stopped themselves.
"Sorry" Said Billie as he wiped his eyes. "It's just a little hard to believe."
"I'm being serious! The Nazi's used their powers to snow you into your bus."
"Why?" Tré asked.
"They want to steal your gig in Milton Keynes."
There was a shocked silence.
"B-But wouldn't our fans start a huge fucking riot?" Billie said. "They wouldn't stand for it!"
"Ah, yes. Your fans are extremely loyal, but The Nazi's have another trick up their sleeves. Their flying over 20,000 Nazi followers from around the world and are calling for more to drive to Milton Keynes in two days time. They are also planning to use mind control to subdue your fans and make them their own!"
"NO! They cant do that!" Tré exclaimed.
"They can and they will." Yeti said.
"What can we do? The doors jammed and we're stuck here." Mike said. Yeti smiled.
"Ah but you see, that's where I come in."
The yeti stood up.
"Come with me." He walked to the kitchen. "Oh, I suggest you wrap up warm before we go outside. It's very, very cold. And take some torches."
They started rummaging through cupboards and drawers. They found some jackets and scarves, and put on more layers of clothing. They all found a torch each. Yeti smiled.
"There, that's better! We don't want you getting a chill now, do we?"
"What are you, my mother?" Tré said. He really, really didn't like the yeti.
"No, I'm a yeti. And please, call me Steve." He opened the sunroof again. A flurry of snow tumbled down upon them.
"Wrap your scarves around your faces before we go outside." Steve said. They did as they were told.
"Right, I'll toss you up." He grabbed Tré by his jacket.
"No, no no! wait!" Tré squeaked.
Steve threw him right through the sunroof. Billie and Mike could hear him scream as he disappeared from view, and then they heard a light "thump".
"You OK Tré?" Mike called out.
"No! Fucking yeti fucking throwing me out into the fucking snow!" He hollered. Steve smiled wickedly.
"Would you like a boost up?" He asked Mike and Billie.
When they were all on top of the bus, they could hardly see each other. The snow was unbelievably thick. Steve immediately started walking. They flicked their flashlights on.
"Hey, hey wait!" Billie Joe called out. They could hardly see him against the snow. They tried to follow, but the wind was blasting their faces and making them stumble. When they got to the end of the bus, Steve was waiting for them.
"You have to go down there!" Steve hollered. He pointed down, and they looked over to see a large hole through the snow that went into the ground. Their torches couldn't penetrate the darkness. It looked like it went on for ever.
"Down there!" Mike screamed against the howling wind. "No fucking way!"
"You don't have a say anymore!" Steve shoved them all. They toppled into the darkness, screaming as they went.
