You're My Little Secret, chapter 10

The week with the boys practically flew by with only a few appearances of Joey's new found attitude. When it happened I thrust the phone into his hand and told him to call Billie Joe, and that seemed to work fine every time.

Adrienne called to bug me at work three days before she was scheduled to fly home.
"Why don't you come out for a long weekend in Canada? Mike mentioned you wanted to meet the guys from My Chemical Romance... they're really sweet." She said, her persuasive skills borderline obnoxious. "And after this weekend they're leaving the tour sooo this is kind of your last opportunity."
"I don't know, Adi... doesn't Ollie need more than three days notice to watch the boys?" I stalled. I obviously couldn't inform her that I wasn't ready to spend four seconds in the same building as Tre, not after our last phone conversation.
"She won't mind. Billie Joe said he would call her right after I got off the phone with you." She was almost begging now. And then she did. "Please, Ava, please?"
"How come you want me to come out so badly?" I questioned suspiciously.
She sighed. "Well, obviously I want to see you... but Sidney is going to be here the day after next and I fucking can't stand that woman." Adrienne replied, dropping her voice to a whisper.
"Nice, Adi. Really tolerant, just like you promised Mike you would be." I teased.

She laughed and I could see her shrug from half way across the country. "Do you have plans with Ian this weekend or something, is that why you're hesitant?" She inquired.

My stomach turned a little as I realized that I hadn't called Ian in almost a week, not after the debacle in my living room. I didn't really want to invite someone new into the shitstorm that I called my life until after this thing with Tre stopped haunting my mind every other second; I didn't think it was fair.

Well, actually I was just being a fucking wimp.

I jumped back to reality when I heard Adrienne sigh again. "No actually, but what about the boys? Your oldest son is pissy enough as it is, don't think you think me leaving him here too will just fuel his anger?" I replied.
"Joey will be fine for three more days. Come on, Ava. Please." She begged. I could almost see her puppy eyes and stuck out lip from here.
"Ahh Jesus, fine. Cananda, here I come." I mumbled sarcastically into the phone as she squealed and thanked me repeatedly.

Before heading to the airport for my flight I made a hasty decision that landed me on Berkeley's campus in the parking lot in front of several large college apartments. I sat in my car and stared at my steering wheel trying to figure out why the hell I felt this was necessary. But before I could change my mind I got out of my car and climbed up a rickety looking wooden staircase and knocked on the door labeled 2D. I heard someone yell from inside the apartment and I nervously bit my lip as Ian pulled up the door, standing in a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt.
His face brightened with a smile when he saw me standing on the other side, and I immediately felt a pull towards him. I realized that's why I had gotten in my car and drove out of the way, for that damn smile.

"Ava, hey. Come in." He said stepping out of the way. I walked a few feet into the apartment and cringed a little; I had forgotten how most college guys lived. There were pizza boxes and potato chip bags scattered everywhere, not to mention beer bottles and bongs strewn across the carpet. I had dated a college guy in my last year of high school, and the memories of the bugs and the mess that was his apartment came crashing back to me as I fought the urge to shudder.
"Umm, shit, sorry about the mess." Ian apologized, running his hands through his perfectly disheveled hair.
I shrugged. "Now I know why we never come to your place." I teased. Walking farther into the room I noticed two guys sitting on a couch and I waved as Ian introduced us.
"Those are two of my roommates, Kyle and Matt. Guys this is Ava." Ian said smiling.
"Hey guys." I smiled at the two guys sprawled out, each with a hand wrapped around a beer.
They smiled back and I fought the urge to roll my eyes as they both took a moment to stare at my chest, muttering a hello before turning back to watching ESPN.
"Umm, how about we go in my room, we can talk in private." Ian offered, grabbing my hand and leading me down a short hallway into his room, closing the door behind us.
"Did you pick your roommates?" I teased him, as I stared at a room that looked like it could have been inhabited by Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

There were two beds set up against the opposite walls with a simple desk sitting at the foot of each. One side of the room had posters up of naked women and cheesy movies, this same side of the room was a complete mess; clothes strewn up on the desk and beer bottles everywhere. It was disgusting. The other side of the room, which I'm guessing was Ian's, had band posters up including The Clash, Dashboard Confessional, Thursday, and also a few random pictures decorating the bright wall. His desk had a laptop and various CD's stacked on top, and a guitar case also stood up against the wall next to his desk. Yeah, this was definitely Ian's side of the room.

He grinned and sat down on his bed, patting his plain navy blue comforter, inviting me to sit next to him. "No it was a random lottery... and I'm sorry you have to see this." He joked, rolling his eyes as he motioned to the smut covering his roommate's side of the room.
I shrugged. "I don't mind." I said sitting down next to him. "I've seen worse." And I had. You should Tre's "office".
He gently reached over and laced his fingers through mine.
"I'm glad you came over." He said shyly, his dark eyes gleaming from under his long eyelashes.
"I wanted to talk to you about what happened last week..." I began but stopped when I turned my head and caught a glimpse of some of his pictures up-close. The first picture I saw was of Ian holding a very small baby and grinning from ear to ear.

"Awww, who is the baby?" I cooed leaning over and touching the picture hanging closest to me.
He grinned. "That's my niece, Mikayla. She was about three months old there. But she's bigger now. Here's a more recent picture of her... she's almost two." He said pointing to another picture of the little girl in a Sunday dress, complete with a big floppy hat. It looked like something in a department store catalogue.
I giggled. "Is this your mom?" I asked excitedly glancing at another picture of Ian standing next to a very short woman who had her arms wrapped around his waist, squeezing him tight. She wore a Berkeley sweatshirt and she looked very proud and happy.
He nodded. "Yeah, that's my mom and me the day I got accepted here." He smiled a little. "She was slightly overjoyed."
I laughed at his sarcasm. "You look like her." I said glancing over at him and then back at the picture.
He nodded, "I get that a lot actually."

He pointed out a few more pictures of him and some of the friends I had met a couple weeks ago when we went and checked out a couple local bands, the simplicity and the ease of how we seemed to communicate made me want to stay and talk to him for hours. I also liked being able to see these pictures in context to his life; it said a lot about him as a person.
But something was missing. "You don't have any pictures of your dad." I commented looking over at him.
He shook his head. "My dad left my mom when I was two, I don't remember him."
"Aw, I'm sorry for bringing up such a shitty subject." I said mentally kicking myself.
He shook his head as he rested his hand on my knee. "No, it's alright. I don't mind talking about." He said shrugging.
I felt his fingers start tracing circles on my knee as I scanned over the pictures one last time. "So what did you come to talk to me about?" he asked.
"Oh yeah, I wanted to apologize to you for that miserable display last week. It wasn't my best moment." I muttered. "I'm sorry for just tossing you out."
"You don't owe me any explanation, Ava, I have a past too." He said shrugging and moving his other hand to touch my face. "I'm just glad you're here."
"You're sweet." I mumbled hypnotized by the look in his eyes. "But I'm sorry, none the less, please know that."
"Apology accepted." He whispered as he leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips.

It felt right to kiss him. I expected after everything that had happened that I would keep picturing Tre, or that I wouldn't like kissing Ian... but it felt right. His tongue pushed past my lips to touch mine as I leaned into him a little more, enjoying the feel of his hand on my waist, his thumb sneaking up under my shirt to touch my skin. I ran my hands through his hair simply because I wanted to know what it felt like, and I made a mental note to check his shampoo later because his hair was brilliantly soft, just as I expected. I felt him grab both of my hips and slide me down farther on the bed into a laying position as he crawled on top of me, our kisses becoming a little hungrier as his hand made it's way under my shirt.

I jumped a mile when the bedroom suddenly swung open and Matt or Kyle, couldn't really remember which, stood there smirking as Ian sat up a little and I pushed my shirt back down.
"Oh, SORRY dude! I didn't mean to interrupt you while you were getting a piece of wood, but I needed my other bong." He announced loudly, his smirk was disgusting and I was prepared to tell him that he would never get a girlfriend acting like that but he quickly grabbed something off his desk and slammed the door.

Ian looked beyond mortified. "I'm sorry." He mumbled. "I live with such assholes."
I giggled and leaned forward to wrap my arms around his waist. "That's ok, I have to catch a flight anyway, I should go."
He grabbed my hands and looked back at me with a confused look. "Where are you going?"
"Oh, my sister and I are spending the weekend in Canada." I replied, hoping he wouldn't ask any more questions. And he didn't.

He walked me out to my car, rolling his eyes as we walked through the living room hearing his barbaric roommates snickering and high-fiving one another. They really were simple creatures. As he gently pinned me against my car he kissed me sweetly and told me to have a safe trip, and I promised I would call him when I got back early next week.

As I drove away I looked in my rear mirror at him still standing in the parking lot, barefoot with his hands clasped together on the top of his head and I smiled. This just might be what I'm looking for.


Later that evening I was in a car heading for the arena that the guys were playing at that night, and the closer we got the more I wanted the ground to swallow me up. Every time I thought of Tre and the last phone conversation we had I felt that familiar anger rise up inside of me again. If he stayed out of my way, I could stay out of his; that was the only way we were getting through this weekend.

Once at the venue I was mauled by Adrienne who practically picked me up when I stepped into their makeshift lounge area and announced my presence. I set my bag down and tried to swat my sister away as she planted kisses on my face and ruffled my already airplane ruffled hair.
I giggled. "Adrienne, for fuck's sake stop."
She grinned and headed off to another room to get me something to drink and to eat as I called after her that I already had one mother.

I glanced over at Sidney who rolled her eyes and snuggled closer under Mike's arm, which was thrown over the back of a couch. I felt bad for Sidney; she knew Adrienne didn't like her and she knew that I had been called in for reinforcement.

As Mike waved me over I planted a kiss on Sidney's cheek and then his as she scooted over and pulled me down between them.
"How was your flight?" she asked.
"It was alright... a lil' bumpy." I replied glancing across the coffee table to where Tre sat sprawled out on another couch. I hadn't even noticed he was there until now, and I immediately felt annoyed by him, especially when he started doing that stupid thing where he widens his eyes every few seconds just for the hell of it... drives me up a damn wall.
I shot him a less than friendly look which he returned almost immediately.
"Hey suckass." I greeted him sarcastically, I felt Mike shift uncomfortably next to me and I was pretty sure he expected to see some blood shed by the end of the weekend.
"Sup ho." He answered back, smirking a little.
"Letting your eyeliner dry?" I asked, in reference to his eye widening habit.
"Nope, just trying to annoy you so you'll leave." He replied smartly, picking at the chipping nail polish on his fingers.

Our normal rude bantering didn't seem to catch anyone's attention, but Mike intervened anyway and started asking me questions about this new band he had stumbled upon, wondering if I had heard of them. He really was sweet playing the role of mediator and all.

Adrienne came back a moment later, this time with Billie Joe in tow, carrying a plate of food and holding a beer in her hand. "Here kid." She said handing me both and then plopping down in a chair with Billie.
"Thanks." I replied, waving at Billie Joe as he winked. Mike picked a chip off my plate and popped it in his mouth as I swatted his hand away.
"So are you here to meet the sexy rockers from My Chemical Romance?" Tre daringly asked, nearly causing me to choke as I took a drink of my cold beer. I was surprised he even bothered to speak to me when it wasn't necessary to do so.
I shrugged. "I'd like to meet them, it's not the sole reason I'm here." I answered, narrowing my eyes at him as he shrugged and went back to picking at his nails.
"She's here to be with me." Adrienne called out lovingly from Billie Joe's lap.

Sidney rolled her eyes and scoffed from next to me. "Good, maybe she can stop you from being such a raging bitch all the time." She bit out sarcastically.
I'm pretty sure everyone's jaws collectively dropped in that exact moment, Tre being the first to recover from her bold comment. "I don't know, I think bitchiness runs in the family." He answered, covering up his remark with a chuckle and a shrug.
Adrienne stood up a second later as Billie Joe tried to grab a hold of her arm. "Oh sweety I'll show you a bitch, I'll kick your fucking---"
Mike stood up suddenly grabbing Sidney's arm and cutting off Adrienne, "ON THAT NOTE, we're going for a nice walk." He said practically dragging Sidney off the couch as she and Adrienne continued to shoot daggers at each other with their eyes.

I was still sitting there, stunned at the exchange that just took place when Adrienne stormed off in the opposite direction, Billie Joe trailing her, trying to get her to calm down. Even though Adrienne is my sister and I would fight to the end for her, I had to give Sidney some respect for having the balls to stand up to her. My sister could be shamelessly bitchy when she wanted to be, and they had been at each other's throats for a long time.

I shook myself out of my daze and felt a little trapped. FUCK, how did I end up with just Tre? I took another drink of beer and matched his blazing stare from across the room.
"How are the boys?" he asked civilly and for a fleeting moment I thought he was going to be mature. I was shocked but was willing to be nice when mutual friends and family was concerned. "Joey and Jakob are fine." I answered, in an equally civil voice.
Tre cocked his head to the side. "Oh, I was talking about your fleets of man whores that occupy your time these days, not my darling godsons." He said sweetly, smirking at me.
I rolled my eyes. "I see the mature portion of the evening has begun. Sorry, I refuse to participate in this jackass festival with you." I muttered before setting my beer down on the table and walking towards the door, but not before giving into my need to even the score, "And for the record, Tre, I think you've sucked more dick than I have."
I watched as his middle finger crept up into the air and as he waved it around a bit just for show. "Har har har." He answered.
I chuckled as I walked out of the room.

A half hour later I was still wandering around the hallways and rooms of this mammoth venue looking for a bathroom. I had just pulled out my cell phone to call Adi when I ran, literally, into the Gerard Way, the lead singer of My Chemical Romance.
"Holy shit." I said as way of greeting, both out of shock of sudden contact and at the realization of who this man was.
He looked alarmed for a moment as though I was someone psychotic fan that breached the barrier, and I didn't blame him I could feel the stupid smile plastered on my face.
"Jesus, sorry. I'm Ava, Billie Joe's sister-in-law." I said sticking out my hand. "And I'm a big fan." I added for the hell of it.
He visibly relaxed and shook my hand, smiling. "I'm Gerard, it's nice to meet you." He replied. "What are you doing way back here?" He asked.
"Umm, I'm rather lost actually. Could you possibly point me in the direction of civilization?" I joked, trying to shake my head out of a fantasy of throwing him against the wall and seeing what else he had to offer underneath all of that red and black clothing besides anger.

In my defense I would like to say that I never really get excited when I met celebrities because it happens so frequently, but I happen to harbor the biggest crush on Mark Hoppus, and when I met him for the first time years ago I may have had a moment where I could not form a complete thought, but usually I'm pretty good at containing myself. Well, except for right now.

"I'm heading back to grab something, I can show you." Gerard offered.
I grinned stupidly at him in appreciation as we made our way towards the lounge.
"It's a like a frickin' maze back here." I said in amazement as he laughed.
"You get used to it I guess. So how come we haven't seen you out before?" he asked, impressing me with his very pleasant speaking voicing.
"This is the first time I've been able to come out. I just graduated from college and I'm working so long weekends are usually the only times I can sneak away." I explained as we rounded corner. I saw Mike leaning against a wall as Sidney leered in front of him whispering loudly at him and sighing a lot.
"That's great, congratulations." He said, also catching sight of Mike and Sidney bickering at each other and frowning a little. "Listen I have to round up the gang to get ready for our set but it was nice talking to you. Maybe we can catch up later?" He asked, stopping outside of his dressing room.
I nodded. "Thanks for bringing me back." I replied smiling.
"No problem." He answered before disappearing into the dressing room.

I was making my way closer to Mike, whose jaw was so tight I thought it would actually unhinge, when Tre suddenly stepped out of some room and ran into the side of me. Had he not grabbed my arm I probably would have fallen on my ass.
He grinned. "Can't stay away from my bod, huh?" he asked steadying me.
I shook my arm free and glared. "Get over yourself." I snapped.
He looked me over for a moment. "I know what you're doing, Ava. Don't meddle." He said, nodding his head toward Mike and Sidney. "He's a big boy, he can take care of it."
I rolled my eyes. "Have you always been this much of an asshole, or am I just the lucky recipient of your jaded heart treatment?"
He scowled as he wrapped his hand around my elbow and yanked me into the room he had just come out of it, which oddly enough was the bathroom I had been looking for.
"Well, I've guess we've fucked in worse places than this. What a perfect place to chat." I muttered, glaring up into his eyes.
"We can't keep arguing like this, we're going to tip someone off." He whispered, still gripping my elbow.
"Have you been partying a lot?" I asked suddenly, ignoring his previous statement. He gave me a confused look.
"What? Jesus, do you have ADD? FOCUS AVA." He said shaking me a little.
I chuckled. "No, really. Are you getting back into all of that shit again?" I asked, concern creeping into my voice. I mentally kicked myself for letting him know that I gave a damn about him, but I had to know.

He was about to open his mouth to reply when the door swung open and Billie Joe stepped forward, but upon realizing Tre and I were in the bathroom huddling quite close together, stopped and stared.
"K, did I miss a memo for something?" he asked confused. "Are we congregating in the bathroom for any particular reason, kids?"
We both froze for a second. "We're, uh, planning a party for... .uh, YOUR ANNIVERSARY." I said, louder than necessary, plastering a big grin on my face.
Billie Joe's eyebrow raised a little. "Is that so?"
I nudged Tre in the stomach and he nodded. "YEAH, but uhh, we blew the surprise again. FUCK." He said smacking himself in the forehead.

Billie Joe looked skeptical. "So you're plotting for our anniversary... in the bathroom?" He asked slowly, as if speaking this way would make him understand it better.
"YEAH. I was peeing and Ava kept me company." Tre offered, as I shot him a dirty look. "No? No you weren't?" He asked trying to interpret what I was saying to him with my facial expressions and seeming to forget that Billie Joe, the person we were lying to, was standing in front of us. "No, she wasn't. I wasn't peeing." Tre said in a rush of words, looking back up at Billie Joe. "I had peed earlier so I didn't have to go again."
"Oh Jesus." I mumbled putting my hands over my face and sighing. We might as well write on our foreheads WE'RE FULL OF SHIT.

Billie Joe looked so confused and so alarmed that to anyone else looking in on the situation would be amused. The three of us stood awkwardly in the bathroom rocking back and forth on the heels of our feet and glancing back and forth at each other.
"So, uh, do you guys mind?" Billie Joe asked after a moment. "I came in here for a reason."
"OH, sure!" I said as Tre and I made a mad dash for the door at the same time.
"Sorry!" Tre added shoving me out first and slamming the door behind him.
We both made sure the other person was heading in the opposite direction as we parted company, muttering to ourselves.

It was going to be a LONG weekend.