A Note Don't Come Easy, chapter 13
God, I was so totally nervous!!! Was I ready for this? Wait, this can’t be happening. He has a beautiful wife and 2 lovely kids! This couldn’t be happening, why would he throw it all away like that after all that they’ve been through? Billie Joe’s hands were cold from the outside world still, but that was the least thing I was thinking about at the moment. I wanted him to wallow me up, he was so warm; and I was cold. Not a perfect match. His other hand started running through my thick wavy hair, pushing all the split ends from off of my face. I could still hear Tre in the background, screaming at the tube. I ignored him though, and looked straight into Billie Joe’s gorgeous green eyes. I hesitated, and then slowly moved my hand up from my side to touch his face. I was frightened to do anything in case we had another repeat performance of this morning. It seemed to have a different result though this time. I sweeped my hand from the side of his face to under his chin, the bristles on his face tickling my palm. The look on his face was priceless, a look I will NEVER forget. He looked warm and loving, his face tired and rouged. He slowly moved his hand from under my T-Shirt, and pulled away from stroking my hair. He tugged my arms out of my hoody, with a little help from me, and lifted the over-larged piece of clothing over my head. He threw it onto the floor by our feet, as I slipped his jacket off. What was I doing? Everything was such a blur! It was all going too quickly. We looked at each other, longingly, before leaning in together to kiss. Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. I sharply turned my head in the direction of the noise, wondering whether to answer it or not. It was most probably Mike.
“Leave it.� Billie Joe whispered, as I turned back to face him.
We leaned in again to carry on from where we had stopped, our lips almost touching. Oh fucking hell…
“Shit! It’s the cops!� Tre screamed panickly, bursting through the door.
“What?!?� Billie Joe cried, pissed off.
“Oh shit!!!� I screamed, running out into the lounge to find Tre standing in the hallway, not knowing what to do.
“What?!?� Billie grunted again, following me. “Why are the cops here? Why are you two looking like you’re going to shit yourselves?�
There was another loud knock that echoed the suite, and pounded inside my head.
“Shit, what are we going to do?� Tre squealed, turning to me, then Billie Joe.
“Don’t look at me!� I cried, pointing to myself.
“Tre what have you done now?� Billie Joe groaned, still pissed off with him.
“Nothing!� Tre squealed, eyeing the door carefully.
“Don’t fucking lie!� Billie screamed again, placing one hand on his head in confusion.
“Shhhhhh!� I begged them, clasping my hands together in desperation.
“We got to do something!� Tre pleaded. “Billie Joe, cover up for us!�
“Why me?� Billie Joe squealed, confused.
“Because you’re the only one who can!� Tre pleaded again, straining his face.
Billie Joe looked at me, in slight confusion.
“But…� He started, looking hurt.
“Please Billie Joe!� I whispered, trying to make him understand.
He looked deep into my eyes, realising how frightened I was. There was another loud absurd knocking at the door.
“Hello?� I voice boomed through the door. “Is anyone in there?�
“Fucking hell!� Billie Joe grunted, trying to think things through his mind. “Right, You two hide somewhere while, I try and get rid of them.�
“I know you’re in there!� The voice cried through the door again.
“Alright I’m coming!� Billie Joe cried, walking towards the door, checking back to make sure we were hidden.
Tre and I panicilly scattered about, trying to hide ourselves. Tre ducked and crawled under the high stools and kitchen ‘table,’ weaving through the stool legs as he went. I followed, running out of places to hide, squashing him against the wall.
“Get your own hiding spot!� Tre grunted at me, frightened that our cover might be blown.
“Oh shut up!� I cried through my tightly shut teeth.
I could work out Billie Joe walking to the door and opening it. The officer tried to step inside but Billie Joe leaned across so he couldn’t pass.
“Ah! Mr…� The officer started.
“Armstrong.� Billie Joe finished the sentence for him.
“Mr Armstrong. I wonder if you could help me. I’m looking for a Mr……….Cool?� The officer asked, hesitating at the name.
“This is all of your fault.� I whispered, looking at Tre, who was behind me, as I lay flat on my stomach on the cold tiled floor.
“My fault?� Tre gasped, gasping at me.
“If it wasn’t for your booze obsession we wouldn’t be hiding from the cops, would we?� I sighed, trying to listen into the conversation between Billie Joe and the officer.
“You drank the stuff though, didn’t you?� He commented, eyeing me carefully.
I looked at him, not knowing what to say, and then turned back to listen into the conversation again.
“Didn’t you?!?� He grunted pushing his face into mine.
“Yes alright!� I whispered. “Yes, I did drink it. Ok, I’m to blame as well. Alright? I’m sorry!�
I peeked my head around a stool, to get a better view of what was happening with Billie Joe and the officer. Tre looked at me surprised, noticing that my hoody and shoes were missing, revealing my red and black stripy socks. Just like Billie Joe’s. I had brought them especially because they were like the ones Billie Joe wore. Only mine were from a different make – mine were from the make ‘Emily the Strange.’ They had cost me a fucking bomb though. £12.50 they cost!!!! But they were worth every penny.
“What were you and Billie Joe doing in there anyway?� Tre asked, suspicious.
“Nothing. We were just talking.� I whispered, not taking my eyes away from Billie Joe and the officers’ feet.
“Sure. You were talking whilst ripping each other’s clothes.� Tre sarcastically commented, wanting to know what happened.
“Nothing happened Tre.� I groaned again, fed up with the questions.
What was it with people and asking me so many questions? Did I have a sign slapped on my forehead saying – “Ask me questions. I’m dumb?�
“You’re lying!� Tre chanted, demanding to know the truth.
“Shhh!� I whispered, whacking him one where it hurt. “You’ll get us caught.�
Tre pathetically clutched his balls in pain, eyeing me carefully.
“You’re dangerous!� He whispered again, continuously rubbing his balls.
I strained to listen to them, edging forward to hang onto their words.
“Officer, I swear. There is no one here. Mr. Cool isn’t here. I can promise you.� Billie Joe told the officer, calmly.
God, he was so laid back. He knew how to fool people didn’t he? Maybe he was fooling me too. I had never thought about it that way.
“Are you sure no one’s here Mr. Armstrong? You look rather, well, shall we say, flustered and thrown about?� The officer suggested, emphasising the word ‘flustered’ and looking at his shirt and tie.
My eyes widened as the officer smirked, Billie Joe speechless to what to say. His tie had been pulled tight as if someone had been grabbing it, and his shirt was all twisted across his body and un-tucked. Why didn’t I realise it earlier? Tre eyed me carefully, knowing that I had been lying. A smirk spread across his face too as he giggled.
“I knew you two were up to no good.� He smiled, shaking his head.
Billie Joe grabbed hold of his tie, and straightened it back up. He looked as if he had been put out of place. Come on Billie Joe! Say something! Don’t blow our cover, please, whatever you do! Just, say something!
“Sir, if someone was here, I would tell you. Honest to God I would. I had just been sleeping, that’s why I didn’t answer the door quickly.� Billie Joe told the officer, gesturing with his hands that he’d been asleep.
Oh, thank god he’d said something!!! Thank god! I sighed quietly, closing my eyes and rubbing the sweat off of my forehead.
“You’re looking for Mr. Cool anyway, so why would I be flustered if he was here?� Billie Joe smirked, proud of his own comment.
An expression of shock and surprise etched itself across Tre’s face. God, this was too good to miss! The officer looked at Billie Joe in shock, he wasn’t expecting that! None of us was! But then he said something that made my heart skip beats.
“No, we’re not just looking for Mr. Cool, Mr. Armstrong. We’re also looking for a young girl, about the age of 16 - 18. She was with Mr. Cool last night at the scene of the crime. Do you know anything about her?� The officer asked, looking straight into Billie Joe’s eyes.
“Nope, sorry Sir.� Billie Joe responded, shrugging his shoulders.
“Are you sure?� The officer groaned, standing up straight in front of Billie Joe, trying to look down on him. But it turned out that Billie Joe was taller than him!!! I giggled slightly, quickly covering my mouth to stop any noise escaping.
“Ah, shit!� Tre snorted, pulling a face.
“What?� I whispered, turning around to face him.
“I’m gonna sneeze.�
I looked at Tre in horror, not knowing what to do. His face stretched back every few seconds, his nostrils flaring.
“Hold your nose!� I squealed, starting to panic.
Billie Joe, hurry up please! Just get the cops out of my fucking suite! I looked at Tre, who was desperately trying to hold in his sneeze.
“I’m watching you Armstrong.� The officer snarled at Billie Joe, who just smiled back at him, annoying him even more.
“I can’t hold it for any longer!� Tre gasped, holding his breath. “See you in jail Stef.�
“Tre no!� I screamed through my gritted teeth.
I sharply turned my head to the door, where Billie Joe was showing the officer out. I turned back to Tre, who was red in the face from holding his breath, and looked as if he would burst any second now.
“Shut the door! Shut the door!� I chanted to myself, watching Billie Joe say a last few words.
“Ah,� Tre began, tilting his head back.
“Tre!� I grunted, panic stricken.
“Ah!� Tre snorted again, inhaling fresh air into his lungs.
His eyes seemed to roll back as his head tilted again, resting against the wall. His nostrils flared again, and his face stretched back.
“No!� I screamed, lunging on top of Tre, covering his mouth and nose, shooting us across the floor.
We tumbled across the floor, from underneath the ‘table,’ making us crash amongst the various brooms and mops in the cupboard opposite. Billie Joe closed the door behind him as Tre sprayed everywhere, sneezing. I cringed, looking away in the other direction. Tre looked at me shocked and confused to as why I had jumped on him like I had.
“What the fuck?!?� Billie Joe whined, seeing us in the closet, Tre upside down nearly.
I got up from the floor and walked up to Billie Joe, hugging him tight.
“Thank you Billie Joe.� I whispered, not letting go of him.
He placed his hand on my head as I buried my face in his chest.
“What was that all about?� He asked, eyeing Tre suspiciously.
“Why are you looking at me?� Tre squeaked like a little girl.
“Because you’re the one they was looking for.� Billie Joe cried, stating the obvious.
“And her!� Tre screamed again, pointing to me.
“Just tell me what happened!� Billie whined, pulling away from me and collapsing onto the sofa.
Oh shit, here we go again. He doesn’t want to know, AGAIN. It was like a routine. For fuck sake, why did we always have to be interrupted? I actually thought for once that something was going to happen between us. Something good. Could there ever be such a thing? I was starting to think not. I was so pissed off right now.
“We just grabbed a few bottles, that was all.� Tre sighed, scratching the back of his neck.
“What?� Billie Joe cried, still not understanding Tre’s mumbling.
This was going take forever if I just let Tre explain it all.
“Tre and I broke into a shop by breaking the window. We stole bottles of alcohol because we couldn’t find any anywhere else, and I think we all needed it.� I blurted out, looking sheepishly.
God, I’m glad that was out. Tre looked at me, stunned at what I had just said. Billie Joe looked at me, and then at Tre, who gulped nervously. I had never seen Tre scared before. Maybe it was just an act. Billie looked down at his feet, deep in thought.
“What are we going to do then?� He asked, running his fingers through his own hair this time, and not mine. I wish it were mine though. I wish we were still in my bedroom, and that none of this had happened.
“What do you mean?� I asked, but not wanting to know the real answer.
“Well we can’t stay here can we?� He sighed, looking up at me.
I was cold with just my T-Shirt on and not my hoody.
“Well, were else can we go?� I asked again, rubbing my arms with my hands to keep myself warm.
“I don’t know. Move to another hotel or something. Just to get away from here!� Billie Joe groaned, waving his arms about everywhere in frustration. Poor Billie Joe. I never meant to bring all of this onto him. He now had to sort out mine and Tre’s dirty work. I never meant for any of this to happen. By the look on Tre’s face, I don’t think he thought it would come to this either. Shit.
“Move to another hotel?� Tre repeated. “Where though?�
“I don’t know. But we’ve got to get out of here somehow.� Billie Joe sighed, falling back into the cushions of the sofa.
Tre looked down at his feet, upset about the whole situation. If they move hotel, that means I wouldn’t see them again. I loom of sadness filled inside of me; I so wanted to cry my eyes out. Today hadn’t been a good day. Why did they have to go? I didn’t want them too. Who else would I turn to? I was stranded. We all stood and sat there in silence, waiting for an answer. This was killing me. I walked swiftly into the bathroom, my eyes filling with tears for the 3rd time today. I grabbed a tissue and wiped my eyes harshly, rubbing my eyeliner into my skin, making it itchy and irritable. Billie Joe and Tre, still sat in silence, like two rag dolls. I hated this. The silence was killing us all. I wandered past them and walked into my bedroom. I found Billie Joe’s jacket by my bed, next to my scrumpled hoody. I sat on the edge of the mattress and bent down to pick up my hoody. I slipped it back on and bent down again to pick up Billie’s jacket. I examined it carefully in the palms of my hands, finally bringing it close to me, hugging it tight. It was the closest thing I had to him at the moment. Billie Joe wasn’t in the mood himself, so his jacket was the next best thing. I could smell him on his jacket, making me feel warm again. I looked up at the ceiling, hoping for an answer from God, but instead, I came face to face with my posters of Billie Joe, Tre and mike. I couldn’t run away from them. The tears filled up again in my eyes, making them sting and watery. I know, I’m a big baby. But things like this made me cry. I always had a cry at least once a day when living at home. I lay back on the bed, still clutching hold of Billie’s jacket. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, hoping the pain would go away, but it wouldn’t. Funny how things change so quickly isn’t it? A while ago me and Billie Joe where ripping each other’s clothes off, now we weren’t even speaking. How many times had this happened? Too many to remember. The catchy tune of Do Da Da came into my head, as I stared up at my Green Day posters, the lyrics relevant to the situation. “Sacrifice everything, waste with me into nothing, and now you’re stuck with me, stuck with me, stuck with me.�
* * * * * * * *
I sat with my disc-man on, listening to my International Superhits CD. At the moment it was on Warning, Track 19. When I was at home, I would sit in my room for hours on end, just listening to all the Green Day albums. All the lights in our house would be out at around 10, but I wouldn’t go to sleep gone past midnight because I’d been listening to the albums. It was good to do it again. I hadn’t done it in a while. It had been at least 20 minutes since I had left Tre and Billie Joe in the ‘lounge,’ not saying a word to each other. I wondered if they were still there? They must be, because Billie Joe’s jacket was still lying beside me. He wouldn’t of left it here, would he? He was so unpredictable though I couldn’t keep up, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he had. I reached down by the side of the bed and pulled a small notebook from my hand luggage, the book covered with Green Day pictures. I looked at them for a while, remembering what it was like to like at home, wishing something would happen in my life. I gradually opened the small book, the spine of it cracking because it was made of plastic. This was my book that contained everything. Photos, Green Day quotes, lyrics and pictures, my songs I had attempted and failed to write, you know, that sort of thing. I opened the book at a random page to find a song I had written. It was absolute crap, but I remember writing it after my step-dad had hit me, when there was no other way of letting the anger out. I had scribbled it in biro, and it looked like the writing in the lyric book to American Idiot. It went something along the lines of;
“My days are numbered, there’s nowhere left to run.
I can’t think straight, and my brain is starting to feel pretty numb.
The thought of suicide, it’s always on my mind
And I swear to God that as each day goes by, a knife edges closer to my wrists.
Please tell me I’m insane and that this isn’t for real,
‘Cos at the moment, the thought of the world apocalypse is making me smile.
It’s harsh to be betrayed by your own blood
Fucked, chained and thrown in with the under dogs.
But words are said, and like I’ve said, it’s not like I haven’t coped with it before.
I’m in for it now, screwed and burnout under the sun.
I’m not who they want me to be and I sure don’t fit in,
So why the protection and all the needs, because all I really want is just to be free.�
Pretty shit isn’t it? I was so angry at the time that I just wrote any old crap down. It shamed punk and rock history. I was an embarrassment to everyone and everything. I turned the page and two photos slipped out. I picked them off form the bed and looked at them closely. The first one was of me and my mum at Disney world, in Florida. I know, I know I had told Billie Joe that I had never been outside the UK before, but I had lied to cover up my obsession. It had been taken on the monorail, as you can see the Disney castle out the window in the background. I looked so happy there. But things had changed a lot since that holiday. That had been our last holiday as a family. I shuffled the photos around and looked at the second one, which brought a smile to my face. It was a photo of me, and Ashlee, at a Halloween party. I had met Ashlee on the Geek Stink Breath website, she was one of my closets friends. I had sneaked to the party during the weekend, lying that I had gone to visit my auntie. You see, she lived so far away from me that my parents wouldn’t let me go, so I had to sneak there. She was dressed up as Billie Joe, her costume a perfect match and looking more like Billie Joe than I ever would! I had well, attempted to look like Billie, but I just looked retarded. I didn’t have the full costume. I had on my black pants, black shirt, black converse and a big white tie I had found somewhere with my black studded belt. I looked nothing like him! I remember once, I entered a Green Day competition on Kerrang, to win to see them in America. My mum was like, “who are you going to go with?� I thought of Ashlee instantly, but my mum just replied, “Two teenagers can’t go travelling across to the other side of the world!� Yes they can, I just had. I wish I could phone Ashlee now. She would believe me. I heard someone walk towards my door; I think it was Billie Joe. I quickly put the photos back in my book and shoved it underneath me. This was one thing I didn’t want him to see. My pain, suffering, and the truth. I pretended to be asleep so I wouldn’t have to face him, or any more questions and debates. He crept in slowly, trying not to wake me. He slowly picked his jacket next to me off of the bed and stood there for moments, watching me. I squinted slightly so I could just work out his face. His hand reached down and tucked a whispy part of my hair behind my ears, making me shudder slightly. He sighed lightly and turned around to go out the door. I opened my eyes quickly just in time to see the back of him disappear behind the door.
“She’s asleep.� I heard him tell Tre. “I’ll leave it until tomorrow.�
They then left my suite and locked the door behind them. I heard them take a few steps down the corridor, and then open the door to their own suite. I heard the door bang, and then my suite was filled with silence once again. The track changed on my disc-man from Waiting to Macy’s Day Parade. I loved this song, but it made me feel so sad inside. I didn’t want Green Day to move to another hotel. What would I do without them? I had un-finished business with Billie Joe. If they were going though, I had to make things work with him. This was all because of me and Tre. God I was so fucking dumb. Alright, I’ll shut up now. I gradually sat up from my spot and slipped my book back into my hand luggage, hidden under a load of other stuff so no one would find it. I turned off m disc-man and stumbled out into the lounge, my legs not working quite yet. I got a sudden dizzy spell from moving so quickly, my head wanting to explode. I sat on the sofa and turned on the tube, or the TV as we call it back home. I flicked through the various channels until I came across CNN. Wow, we had this at home to, an American channel in the UK? Good God! There was a news flash or something, something about the war on terrorism and President Bush.
“What’s he done now?� I muttered to myself, putting the remote down, finally settling with this channel to watch.
I made myself comfortable on the sofa read the bottom of the screen that said ‘FBI TELLS BUSH TO ACT NOW ON NEW TERRORISM THREATS.’
A sudden feeling of fear came over me, at the thought of another terror attack filled my head. I remember being shit scared when 9/11 happened, and back then I was thousands of miles away from the event. But now I was in the country that was in danger, and it scared the crap out of me! Anything could happen. Shit.
“Bush has been told by the FBI that he has to act now, before it’s too late.� Read the news reporter, shuffling his pieces of paper in front of him. “Mr. Bush received a report from the army forces this morning that another terror threat has been made by the wanted terrorist Osoma Bin Laden. Mr. Bush declares that he is taking drastic action to protect America, but will it be enough and, most importantly, will it be in time?�
“Oh shit.� I whispered to myself, edging forward to the tube.
“Mr. Bush has been in the planning stages of protecting America for some time, but has been told that he needs to act now, before it’s too late. Another terror attack could fall on us any time now and in the next couple of days.� The reporter continued, looking directly at the camera. “We’ll have more on this story after this quick break.�
The news reporter smiled before the camera then cut to the adverts. I sat there, numb and scared shitless. Now I fully understood why so many people hated the person they called the President of their country and United States.
“Leave it.� Billie Joe whispered, as I turned back to face him.
We leaned in again to carry on from where we had stopped, our lips almost touching. Oh fucking hell…
“Shit! It’s the cops!� Tre screamed panickly, bursting through the door.
“What?!?� Billie Joe cried, pissed off.
“Oh shit!!!� I screamed, running out into the lounge to find Tre standing in the hallway, not knowing what to do.
“What?!?� Billie grunted again, following me. “Why are the cops here? Why are you two looking like you’re going to shit yourselves?�
There was another loud knock that echoed the suite, and pounded inside my head.
“Shit, what are we going to do?� Tre squealed, turning to me, then Billie Joe.
“Don’t look at me!� I cried, pointing to myself.
“Tre what have you done now?� Billie Joe groaned, still pissed off with him.
“Nothing!� Tre squealed, eyeing the door carefully.
“Don’t fucking lie!� Billie screamed again, placing one hand on his head in confusion.
“Shhhhhh!� I begged them, clasping my hands together in desperation.
“We got to do something!� Tre pleaded. “Billie Joe, cover up for us!�
“Why me?� Billie Joe squealed, confused.
“Because you’re the only one who can!� Tre pleaded again, straining his face.
Billie Joe looked at me, in slight confusion.
“But…� He started, looking hurt.
“Please Billie Joe!� I whispered, trying to make him understand.
He looked deep into my eyes, realising how frightened I was. There was another loud absurd knocking at the door.
“Hello?� I voice boomed through the door. “Is anyone in there?�
“Fucking hell!� Billie Joe grunted, trying to think things through his mind. “Right, You two hide somewhere while, I try and get rid of them.�
“I know you’re in there!� The voice cried through the door again.
“Alright I’m coming!� Billie Joe cried, walking towards the door, checking back to make sure we were hidden.
Tre and I panicilly scattered about, trying to hide ourselves. Tre ducked and crawled under the high stools and kitchen ‘table,’ weaving through the stool legs as he went. I followed, running out of places to hide, squashing him against the wall.
“Get your own hiding spot!� Tre grunted at me, frightened that our cover might be blown.
“Oh shut up!� I cried through my tightly shut teeth.
I could work out Billie Joe walking to the door and opening it. The officer tried to step inside but Billie Joe leaned across so he couldn’t pass.
“Ah! Mr…� The officer started.
“Armstrong.� Billie Joe finished the sentence for him.
“Mr Armstrong. I wonder if you could help me. I’m looking for a Mr……….Cool?� The officer asked, hesitating at the name.
“This is all of your fault.� I whispered, looking at Tre, who was behind me, as I lay flat on my stomach on the cold tiled floor.
“My fault?� Tre gasped, gasping at me.
“If it wasn’t for your booze obsession we wouldn’t be hiding from the cops, would we?� I sighed, trying to listen into the conversation between Billie Joe and the officer.
“You drank the stuff though, didn’t you?� He commented, eyeing me carefully.
I looked at him, not knowing what to say, and then turned back to listen into the conversation again.
“Didn’t you?!?� He grunted pushing his face into mine.
“Yes alright!� I whispered. “Yes, I did drink it. Ok, I’m to blame as well. Alright? I’m sorry!�
I peeked my head around a stool, to get a better view of what was happening with Billie Joe and the officer. Tre looked at me surprised, noticing that my hoody and shoes were missing, revealing my red and black stripy socks. Just like Billie Joe’s. I had brought them especially because they were like the ones Billie Joe wore. Only mine were from a different make – mine were from the make ‘Emily the Strange.’ They had cost me a fucking bomb though. £12.50 they cost!!!! But they were worth every penny.
“What were you and Billie Joe doing in there anyway?� Tre asked, suspicious.
“Nothing. We were just talking.� I whispered, not taking my eyes away from Billie Joe and the officers’ feet.
“Sure. You were talking whilst ripping each other’s clothes.� Tre sarcastically commented, wanting to know what happened.
“Nothing happened Tre.� I groaned again, fed up with the questions.
What was it with people and asking me so many questions? Did I have a sign slapped on my forehead saying – “Ask me questions. I’m dumb?�
“You’re lying!� Tre chanted, demanding to know the truth.
“Shhh!� I whispered, whacking him one where it hurt. “You’ll get us caught.�
Tre pathetically clutched his balls in pain, eyeing me carefully.
“You’re dangerous!� He whispered again, continuously rubbing his balls.
I strained to listen to them, edging forward to hang onto their words.
“Officer, I swear. There is no one here. Mr. Cool isn’t here. I can promise you.� Billie Joe told the officer, calmly.
God, he was so laid back. He knew how to fool people didn’t he? Maybe he was fooling me too. I had never thought about it that way.
“Are you sure no one’s here Mr. Armstrong? You look rather, well, shall we say, flustered and thrown about?� The officer suggested, emphasising the word ‘flustered’ and looking at his shirt and tie.
My eyes widened as the officer smirked, Billie Joe speechless to what to say. His tie had been pulled tight as if someone had been grabbing it, and his shirt was all twisted across his body and un-tucked. Why didn’t I realise it earlier? Tre eyed me carefully, knowing that I had been lying. A smirk spread across his face too as he giggled.
“I knew you two were up to no good.� He smiled, shaking his head.
Billie Joe grabbed hold of his tie, and straightened it back up. He looked as if he had been put out of place. Come on Billie Joe! Say something! Don’t blow our cover, please, whatever you do! Just, say something!
“Sir, if someone was here, I would tell you. Honest to God I would. I had just been sleeping, that’s why I didn’t answer the door quickly.� Billie Joe told the officer, gesturing with his hands that he’d been asleep.
Oh, thank god he’d said something!!! Thank god! I sighed quietly, closing my eyes and rubbing the sweat off of my forehead.
“You’re looking for Mr. Cool anyway, so why would I be flustered if he was here?� Billie Joe smirked, proud of his own comment.
An expression of shock and surprise etched itself across Tre’s face. God, this was too good to miss! The officer looked at Billie Joe in shock, he wasn’t expecting that! None of us was! But then he said something that made my heart skip beats.
“No, we’re not just looking for Mr. Cool, Mr. Armstrong. We’re also looking for a young girl, about the age of 16 - 18. She was with Mr. Cool last night at the scene of the crime. Do you know anything about her?� The officer asked, looking straight into Billie Joe’s eyes.
“Nope, sorry Sir.� Billie Joe responded, shrugging his shoulders.
“Are you sure?� The officer groaned, standing up straight in front of Billie Joe, trying to look down on him. But it turned out that Billie Joe was taller than him!!! I giggled slightly, quickly covering my mouth to stop any noise escaping.
“Ah, shit!� Tre snorted, pulling a face.
“What?� I whispered, turning around to face him.
“I’m gonna sneeze.�
I looked at Tre in horror, not knowing what to do. His face stretched back every few seconds, his nostrils flaring.
“Hold your nose!� I squealed, starting to panic.
Billie Joe, hurry up please! Just get the cops out of my fucking suite! I looked at Tre, who was desperately trying to hold in his sneeze.
“I’m watching you Armstrong.� The officer snarled at Billie Joe, who just smiled back at him, annoying him even more.
“I can’t hold it for any longer!� Tre gasped, holding his breath. “See you in jail Stef.�
“Tre no!� I screamed through my gritted teeth.
I sharply turned my head to the door, where Billie Joe was showing the officer out. I turned back to Tre, who was red in the face from holding his breath, and looked as if he would burst any second now.
“Shut the door! Shut the door!� I chanted to myself, watching Billie Joe say a last few words.
“Ah,� Tre began, tilting his head back.
“Tre!� I grunted, panic stricken.
“Ah!� Tre snorted again, inhaling fresh air into his lungs.
His eyes seemed to roll back as his head tilted again, resting against the wall. His nostrils flared again, and his face stretched back.
“No!� I screamed, lunging on top of Tre, covering his mouth and nose, shooting us across the floor.
We tumbled across the floor, from underneath the ‘table,’ making us crash amongst the various brooms and mops in the cupboard opposite. Billie Joe closed the door behind him as Tre sprayed everywhere, sneezing. I cringed, looking away in the other direction. Tre looked at me shocked and confused to as why I had jumped on him like I had.
“What the fuck?!?� Billie Joe whined, seeing us in the closet, Tre upside down nearly.
I got up from the floor and walked up to Billie Joe, hugging him tight.
“Thank you Billie Joe.� I whispered, not letting go of him.
He placed his hand on my head as I buried my face in his chest.
“What was that all about?� He asked, eyeing Tre suspiciously.
“Why are you looking at me?� Tre squeaked like a little girl.
“Because you’re the one they was looking for.� Billie Joe cried, stating the obvious.
“And her!� Tre screamed again, pointing to me.
“Just tell me what happened!� Billie whined, pulling away from me and collapsing onto the sofa.
Oh shit, here we go again. He doesn’t want to know, AGAIN. It was like a routine. For fuck sake, why did we always have to be interrupted? I actually thought for once that something was going to happen between us. Something good. Could there ever be such a thing? I was starting to think not. I was so pissed off right now.
“We just grabbed a few bottles, that was all.� Tre sighed, scratching the back of his neck.
“What?� Billie Joe cried, still not understanding Tre’s mumbling.
This was going take forever if I just let Tre explain it all.
“Tre and I broke into a shop by breaking the window. We stole bottles of alcohol because we couldn’t find any anywhere else, and I think we all needed it.� I blurted out, looking sheepishly.
God, I’m glad that was out. Tre looked at me, stunned at what I had just said. Billie Joe looked at me, and then at Tre, who gulped nervously. I had never seen Tre scared before. Maybe it was just an act. Billie looked down at his feet, deep in thought.
“What are we going to do then?� He asked, running his fingers through his own hair this time, and not mine. I wish it were mine though. I wish we were still in my bedroom, and that none of this had happened.
“What do you mean?� I asked, but not wanting to know the real answer.
“Well we can’t stay here can we?� He sighed, looking up at me.
I was cold with just my T-Shirt on and not my hoody.
“Well, were else can we go?� I asked again, rubbing my arms with my hands to keep myself warm.
“I don’t know. Move to another hotel or something. Just to get away from here!� Billie Joe groaned, waving his arms about everywhere in frustration. Poor Billie Joe. I never meant to bring all of this onto him. He now had to sort out mine and Tre’s dirty work. I never meant for any of this to happen. By the look on Tre’s face, I don’t think he thought it would come to this either. Shit.
“Move to another hotel?� Tre repeated. “Where though?�
“I don’t know. But we’ve got to get out of here somehow.� Billie Joe sighed, falling back into the cushions of the sofa.
Tre looked down at his feet, upset about the whole situation. If they move hotel, that means I wouldn’t see them again. I loom of sadness filled inside of me; I so wanted to cry my eyes out. Today hadn’t been a good day. Why did they have to go? I didn’t want them too. Who else would I turn to? I was stranded. We all stood and sat there in silence, waiting for an answer. This was killing me. I walked swiftly into the bathroom, my eyes filling with tears for the 3rd time today. I grabbed a tissue and wiped my eyes harshly, rubbing my eyeliner into my skin, making it itchy and irritable. Billie Joe and Tre, still sat in silence, like two rag dolls. I hated this. The silence was killing us all. I wandered past them and walked into my bedroom. I found Billie Joe’s jacket by my bed, next to my scrumpled hoody. I sat on the edge of the mattress and bent down to pick up my hoody. I slipped it back on and bent down again to pick up Billie’s jacket. I examined it carefully in the palms of my hands, finally bringing it close to me, hugging it tight. It was the closest thing I had to him at the moment. Billie Joe wasn’t in the mood himself, so his jacket was the next best thing. I could smell him on his jacket, making me feel warm again. I looked up at the ceiling, hoping for an answer from God, but instead, I came face to face with my posters of Billie Joe, Tre and mike. I couldn’t run away from them. The tears filled up again in my eyes, making them sting and watery. I know, I’m a big baby. But things like this made me cry. I always had a cry at least once a day when living at home. I lay back on the bed, still clutching hold of Billie’s jacket. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, hoping the pain would go away, but it wouldn’t. Funny how things change so quickly isn’t it? A while ago me and Billie Joe where ripping each other’s clothes off, now we weren’t even speaking. How many times had this happened? Too many to remember. The catchy tune of Do Da Da came into my head, as I stared up at my Green Day posters, the lyrics relevant to the situation. “Sacrifice everything, waste with me into nothing, and now you’re stuck with me, stuck with me, stuck with me.�
* * * * * * * *
I sat with my disc-man on, listening to my International Superhits CD. At the moment it was on Warning, Track 19. When I was at home, I would sit in my room for hours on end, just listening to all the Green Day albums. All the lights in our house would be out at around 10, but I wouldn’t go to sleep gone past midnight because I’d been listening to the albums. It was good to do it again. I hadn’t done it in a while. It had been at least 20 minutes since I had left Tre and Billie Joe in the ‘lounge,’ not saying a word to each other. I wondered if they were still there? They must be, because Billie Joe’s jacket was still lying beside me. He wouldn’t of left it here, would he? He was so unpredictable though I couldn’t keep up, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he had. I reached down by the side of the bed and pulled a small notebook from my hand luggage, the book covered with Green Day pictures. I looked at them for a while, remembering what it was like to like at home, wishing something would happen in my life. I gradually opened the small book, the spine of it cracking because it was made of plastic. This was my book that contained everything. Photos, Green Day quotes, lyrics and pictures, my songs I had attempted and failed to write, you know, that sort of thing. I opened the book at a random page to find a song I had written. It was absolute crap, but I remember writing it after my step-dad had hit me, when there was no other way of letting the anger out. I had scribbled it in biro, and it looked like the writing in the lyric book to American Idiot. It went something along the lines of;
“My days are numbered, there’s nowhere left to run.
I can’t think straight, and my brain is starting to feel pretty numb.
The thought of suicide, it’s always on my mind
And I swear to God that as each day goes by, a knife edges closer to my wrists.
Please tell me I’m insane and that this isn’t for real,
‘Cos at the moment, the thought of the world apocalypse is making me smile.
It’s harsh to be betrayed by your own blood
Fucked, chained and thrown in with the under dogs.
But words are said, and like I’ve said, it’s not like I haven’t coped with it before.
I’m in for it now, screwed and burnout under the sun.
I’m not who they want me to be and I sure don’t fit in,
So why the protection and all the needs, because all I really want is just to be free.�
Pretty shit isn’t it? I was so angry at the time that I just wrote any old crap down. It shamed punk and rock history. I was an embarrassment to everyone and everything. I turned the page and two photos slipped out. I picked them off form the bed and looked at them closely. The first one was of me and my mum at Disney world, in Florida. I know, I know I had told Billie Joe that I had never been outside the UK before, but I had lied to cover up my obsession. It had been taken on the monorail, as you can see the Disney castle out the window in the background. I looked so happy there. But things had changed a lot since that holiday. That had been our last holiday as a family. I shuffled the photos around and looked at the second one, which brought a smile to my face. It was a photo of me, and Ashlee, at a Halloween party. I had met Ashlee on the Geek Stink Breath website, she was one of my closets friends. I had sneaked to the party during the weekend, lying that I had gone to visit my auntie. You see, she lived so far away from me that my parents wouldn’t let me go, so I had to sneak there. She was dressed up as Billie Joe, her costume a perfect match and looking more like Billie Joe than I ever would! I had well, attempted to look like Billie, but I just looked retarded. I didn’t have the full costume. I had on my black pants, black shirt, black converse and a big white tie I had found somewhere with my black studded belt. I looked nothing like him! I remember once, I entered a Green Day competition on Kerrang, to win to see them in America. My mum was like, “who are you going to go with?� I thought of Ashlee instantly, but my mum just replied, “Two teenagers can’t go travelling across to the other side of the world!� Yes they can, I just had. I wish I could phone Ashlee now. She would believe me. I heard someone walk towards my door; I think it was Billie Joe. I quickly put the photos back in my book and shoved it underneath me. This was one thing I didn’t want him to see. My pain, suffering, and the truth. I pretended to be asleep so I wouldn’t have to face him, or any more questions and debates. He crept in slowly, trying not to wake me. He slowly picked his jacket next to me off of the bed and stood there for moments, watching me. I squinted slightly so I could just work out his face. His hand reached down and tucked a whispy part of my hair behind my ears, making me shudder slightly. He sighed lightly and turned around to go out the door. I opened my eyes quickly just in time to see the back of him disappear behind the door.
“She’s asleep.� I heard him tell Tre. “I’ll leave it until tomorrow.�
They then left my suite and locked the door behind them. I heard them take a few steps down the corridor, and then open the door to their own suite. I heard the door bang, and then my suite was filled with silence once again. The track changed on my disc-man from Waiting to Macy’s Day Parade. I loved this song, but it made me feel so sad inside. I didn’t want Green Day to move to another hotel. What would I do without them? I had un-finished business with Billie Joe. If they were going though, I had to make things work with him. This was all because of me and Tre. God I was so fucking dumb. Alright, I’ll shut up now. I gradually sat up from my spot and slipped my book back into my hand luggage, hidden under a load of other stuff so no one would find it. I turned off m disc-man and stumbled out into the lounge, my legs not working quite yet. I got a sudden dizzy spell from moving so quickly, my head wanting to explode. I sat on the sofa and turned on the tube, or the TV as we call it back home. I flicked through the various channels until I came across CNN. Wow, we had this at home to, an American channel in the UK? Good God! There was a news flash or something, something about the war on terrorism and President Bush.
“What’s he done now?� I muttered to myself, putting the remote down, finally settling with this channel to watch.
I made myself comfortable on the sofa read the bottom of the screen that said ‘FBI TELLS BUSH TO ACT NOW ON NEW TERRORISM THREATS.’
A sudden feeling of fear came over me, at the thought of another terror attack filled my head. I remember being shit scared when 9/11 happened, and back then I was thousands of miles away from the event. But now I was in the country that was in danger, and it scared the crap out of me! Anything could happen. Shit.
“Bush has been told by the FBI that he has to act now, before it’s too late.� Read the news reporter, shuffling his pieces of paper in front of him. “Mr. Bush received a report from the army forces this morning that another terror threat has been made by the wanted terrorist Osoma Bin Laden. Mr. Bush declares that he is taking drastic action to protect America, but will it be enough and, most importantly, will it be in time?�
“Oh shit.� I whispered to myself, edging forward to the tube.
“Mr. Bush has been in the planning stages of protecting America for some time, but has been told that he needs to act now, before it’s too late. Another terror attack could fall on us any time now and in the next couple of days.� The reporter continued, looking directly at the camera. “We’ll have more on this story after this quick break.�
The news reporter smiled before the camera then cut to the adverts. I sat there, numb and scared shitless. Now I fully understood why so many people hated the person they called the President of their country and United States.
