A Note Don't Come Easy, chapter 14
So, with the cops after me and Tre and there being another terror threat, I was pretty shit scared as you can imagine. Nowhere was safe for me. We were all on the run. But without Green Day, I was helpless. If they moved to another hotel, I would be on my own and vulnerable to anything, so I was kinda screwed. I had no one to protect me. I just felt sorry for Mike and Billie Joe, who now had to suffer because of what me and Tre had done. If you think about it, it was nothing compared to what some people do out there. It wasn't like we had guns, raided the whole shop and threatened peoples lives was it? I guess that wouldn't matter to the cops though. They wouldn't listen to what I had to say. I was just a lost teenager who had run away from home and was a castaway on the other side of the world, and friends with Green Day. Now, that's enough to put them off already. Not the Green Day part, just the fact that I had run away and was young, and - you know what I mean! Again, the afternoon's events had taken over all thought about today's audition in my mind. I thought back to Billie Joe's reaction to the cops knocking on my door. He looked so hurt by everything. I never meant to do anything. I had just stayed with Tre while he raided the shop, but I can't blame it all on him either. It was like Billie Joe didn't want to know me anymore, and had disowned me. But everyone disowns me at some point. I lay on my bed like I had a few hours ago, when Billie Joe had come to pick up his jacket. The touch of his hand on my face as he pushed my hair back was still fresh in my mind, making me shudder in the same way as I had done at the time. His voiced echoed inside my head, driving me insane because I couldn't stop it.
"She's asleep. I'll leave it until tomorrow." I heard him say over and over again in my mind.
Wait a minute; "I'll leave it until tomorrow?" What did he mean by that? Shit. What did he mean? Leave what until tomorrow? Maybe Tre had had his 'talk' with Billie Joe whilst they were sitting in the lounge, me in my room. I just wish that things were simple between me and Billie Joe, but over the last few days, things had just got complicated. Too complicated to go back to normal, or how things used to be.
* * * * * * * *
A few days had passed, and the cops hadn't been back since the day they had come looking for me and Tre. Nothing had happened between me and Billie Joe since then, so I guess things would just stay like they were. And I was also guessing that Tre hadn't talked to him yet either. Billie Joe, Mike and Tre were all sitting in my suite; the balcony doors wide open, letting the sun and the cool breeze pass through. Tre and Billie Joe sat coolly with bottles of beer in their hand, Mike with a Diet Coke. The radio was playing quietly in the background, just finishing playing My Chemical Romance's 'I'm Not OK.' The track finished and went straight onto the news.
"It's the news is next, and here's today's top headline. Mr. Bush is putting the lives of the American people at great risk. More on this story after the break." The radio announced across the suite.
"Fucking wanker." Billie Joe grunted, after listening.
"He needs to go to hell." Mike added, taking another swig of his Coke.
"Why do you hate him so much?" I asked, then realised I had said the wrong thing when they all starred at me.
"Did I just hear you straight?" Tre asked, his eyes widening at me.
I looked at Billie Joe, who was looking at me like I was some kind of freak, his eyes as big as saucers.
"Don't you have American Idiot?" Mike asked, frowning at me. "I thought you would have."
"Hell yes! It's got to be my favourite album. And yeah, most of your songs are based on Bush and the war and all that shit, and I understand it completely. But I mean, did he do something to start you off hating him?" I wondering, trying to make them understand. "Everyone does something to start you off hating them."
"Did he do something?" Tre repeated sarcastically. "He did everything."
"He did everything that has made America the place it is today. He changed American history, in a very bad way. Billie has the passion for hating him though." Mike smirked, pointing at Billie Joe with his Coke can.
"I hate him too!" Tre whined like a child.
"I know you do. We all hate his fucking guts." Mike replied, looking at Tre pathetically. "I'm just saying that Billie Joe is the one who hates the most out of all of us."
"I'd like to choke him." Billie Joe growled. "No, let me say that again. I'd LOVE to choke him."
I laughed slightly, but wondered whether he would actually choke Bush. I could just imagine it!
"If we were left alone in a room together," Billie Joe started, looking at me, "the first thing I'd do is choke him to death."
"God, you really do hate him, don't you?" I said, raising my eyebrows.
"There's not a word to describe my feelings and views towards him. Hate's just a taster to what I feel." Billie Joe smiled, taking another sip of his cold fresh beer.
"He's a mother fucking arsehole." Tre added, smirking.
"Maybe I should have written Platypus about him." Billie Joe giggled, finishing off his beer.
"Dick head, fuck face, cock smoking, mother fucking arsehole, dirty twat, waste of semen and I HOPE YOU DIE!!!" Me and Tre chanted at the top of our voices at exactly the same time.
Mike laughed, nearly spilling his Coke. Tre smiled cheekily at me, who had now officially become my partner in crime. There was a pause between us all, when I decided to break the silence.
"I actually liked him." I whispered, Billie Joe spitting his beer out that he was in the middle of drinking.
"You WHAT?!?" He spluttered, an expression of shock on his face.
"I actually thought he was alright." I repeated again, hesitating as I watched Billie's mouth drop even more.
Mike looked at me suspiciously, while Tre just gasped and looked at me, shocked and horrified all at the same time.
"But then again, I'm not American am I?" I added, trying to make my views sound better. "It's not my country so I don't see everything that's going on. If I lived here, I'd probably be with you guys."
Billie Joe smiled at me, almost laughing.
"What?" I asked, hitting him.
"You're just trying to cover up yourself and your views so we won't have a go at you and think differently of you."
"No I'm not. How do you know that?" I asked him, frowning.
"Because I can read you like a book remember?" He replied, smiling at me cheekily.
Yeah, I do remember. And he could read straight through me. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or bad thing.
Suddenly my mobile, or cell as they liked to call it started to ring. Ah, saved from embarrassment and any more humiliation!
"Someone's cells ringing!" Mike cooed, sipping some more on his Coke.
"Oh shit, that's mine." I grunted as I got up from my seat and walked into my bedroom to find my phone.
I rummaged around for it, amongst all of my clothes. I found it in my jeans pocket, which were scrumpled on the floor in a heap. I picked it up and flipped it open quickly, pressing it to my ear.
"Hello?" I answered, walking back into the lounge where the guys were. I stood in the doorway, studying my nails carefully as I waited for an answer.
"Stef!" Someone screamed on the other end of the phone. "Where are you?"
Shit!!! Bollocks!!! Crap!!! Bumfuck!!! Fucking hell!!! All the words under the sun couldn't make me feel better or stop me from feeling scared.
"Stef! Answer me!" My mom screamed at me down the phone.
I looked at the guys in shock horror, my eyes widened and my hands shaking. Billie Joe cocked his head to one side and frowned, not understanding my reaction.
"Who is it?" Tre whispered to me, then turning to Billie Joe and mike for an answer. Mike shrugged his shoulders as Billie Joe tried to work out who it was.
"Mom," I managed to croak without sounding too suspicious.
Billie Joe's eyes widened at the sound of my mom, biting his lip and looking at Mike and Tre for help. Mike frowned and looked at Billie Joe confused. My mom wasn't even near me, but still she scared the living crap out of me.
"Hi Stef's mom!" Tre screamed, waving at my cell.
I swatted my hand in the air at him, ushering him to be quiet as Billie Joe gave him evil looks. Billie Joe was the only who knew about my problems with my family, so I really couldn't blame Tre, but he wasn't making things easier.
"Who's that?" My mom asked, suspiciously.
"Erm, no one. Just someone, somewhere outside." I replied, stuttering.
"Who's outside?"
"Mom, don't ask questions."
"Why not? I want to know where you are."
"I'm fine mom, ok? I'm safe, don't worry." I tried to assure her.
"That still doesn't answer my question. Where are you?!?"
"Mom!"
"Now listen to me, tell me where you are, now." My mom sternly told me.
I could just picture her in my mind, screaming down the phone. Billie Joe watched me as I quarrelled over the phone.
"Mom, why do you want to know where I am?" I asked, rubbing my tired eyes.
"I'm your mother. I'm entitled to know."
That was true, but she couldn't know where I was, or who I was with. If I told her I was with Green Day, she would go fucking mental, and do anything in her power to get me away from them. She'd probably send the Royal Air Force over to collect me if she could.
"I can't tell you." I whispered, my eyes bloodshot and tired.
"Why not?" She yelled, her voice becoming higher.
"I…just…can't." I told her, glancing over at Billie Joe.
He looked just as scared as I did! I pleaded with my eyes for him to help me out, but there was nothing he could do. I couldn't put him on the phone to my mom, because then that would make things more complicated then they already are. There'd be endless questions and debates and arguments if I did. The reception on the phone was really bad so I couldn't hear her properly. Now that was a blessing!
"Now tell me young lady!" My mom screamed again. "Where are you, before I do something you'll regret!"
"Like what?!" I yelled back, knowing that she couldn't touch me - something she didn't know. Something I could use against her.
"I'll send Tom down! He'll sort you out!" She screamed again.
Tom was my step-dad by the way. I never wanted to mention his name because I hated him so much. My anger raged inside of me at the thought of my mom sending HIM around to beat me up.
"He will!" My mom screamed again. "Tom will teach you a lesson!"
"What?" I sarcastically asked. "Oh, you mean punching my guts out until I can't breathe no more!? Is that it?"
"Don't be so rude!" My mum yelled again.
By now I had lost all my patience, Tre, Mike and Billie Joe watching me. Billie Joe’s eyes met mine, indulging me in them. I wanted to run away from everything, but I had already come the furthest I could go. Here, where I was standing right now. I couldn't run away any more.
"I'm not lying mom!" I screamed, hurt. "You don't know what he's really like."
"Really like?" She hollered. "I think I know what the man I married and love is REALLY like thank you!"
"Mom, that's the thing! You don't!!!"
"I'm not listening to this!" She snarled, her tone of voice deepening.
"Well, don't then mom. It's not like you do anyway!" I screamed again, my voice raising.
Tre kept glancing at me, and then Billie Joe, in awe of the argument that was happening between me and my mom. Mike looked at me, seemingly understanding my pain.
"How dare you!" She growled at me, angry.
"It's the truth!" I whined, my heart bleeding inside from the pain. "Why won't you believe me?"
"I can't believe I'm having this conversation."
"Nor can I mom. There could be better things to do." I sneered, thinking back to me and Billie Joe in the bedroom the other day before the cops came.
"Like what?" She asked meanfully. "Listen to that crappy band of yours?"
"It's not crappy." I grunted, my eyes nearly bulging from their sockets.
"Yes it is. You played it every night and every day when you lived here. It was a living hell for me. Everything you ever did have to involve Greens May or whatever they're called!"
"It's Green Day!" I screamed.
All of their ears pricked up at the sound of their name, especially Tre who was quite excited about the whole thing.
"They're fighting over us!" Tre sniggered, Mike hitting him over the head.
"Shut up!" Mike grunted.
"I don't care what they were called. The point is, that's all you ever think about is Greens May this, Greens May that!"
"It's GREEN DAY!" I screamed, for the last time. "You always have to bring them up in an argument, don't you?"
There was a pause between us, and I started to wonder whether my mom was still there or not.
"I'm not being funny darling, but they're not good for you."
"Don't call me darling!" I grunted, cringing and closing my eyes.
"Stef, listening to the music you do and the lifestyle you live is not good for you."
"Why not?"
"It just isn't. Come back home, give up Green Day. Leave it all behind and we can start fresh."
I had always wanted my mom to turn over a new leaf, but she was now asking for too much. Giving up Green Day? God, that was a sin. I stood and thought, looking at Billie Joe who was pleading with me to tell him what she was saying. Billie Joe. I couldn't leave them after all that they had done for me, it was just wrong. This was like choosing between he two, and it was blackmail. I looked into Billie Joe's eyes, hoping to find an answer whilst my eyes filled with tears. How could I leave him, I would regret going back home if I did, only to go back to more hurt and anger.
"No." I whispered. "No, I won’t give it up. Because do you know what? They're closer to me than you ever will be. And that is a fact."
"You bitch!" I heard my mom snarl down the phone, anger and hatred in her voice.
I wasn't surprised that she had called me a bitch. I think she would have understood this more though if she knew that Green Day was like my new family and I was with them now. But maybe it was better that she didn't know the full story. It was true; I could talk to any of them more than I ever could my mom.
"You can keep Greens May, for all I care! But you'll never be able to set your foot into this house again! Do you hear me?!" She growled.
"Good!" I yelled back. "I don't want to anyway, not as long as HE'S there. And for the last time, …it's GREEN DAY!!!"
I flipped my phone shut, and chucked it harshly at the wall, just missing Mike and his can of Coke. It smashed against the wall, and crumpled to the floor. All 3 of them just looked at my phone and then slowly up at me. I caught a sympathetic look off of Billie Joe, and the tears filled my eyes again. That was enough to set me off crying for a week. I dashed into my room, slamming the door shut behind me, finally letting the cold hard tears flow. Someone tried to follow me into the room, but couldn't because I had locked the door. They tried to push against the door to open it, but didn't get anything from doing it.
"Stef," I heard Billie Joe coo softly to me through the door. "Are you ok?"
I sat on the floor against the other side of the door, screwed up in a little ball for some security.
"Stef," he whispered again. "Please tell me you're ok... Do you want to talk?"
"I'm sorry Billie Joe, but I just need some time alone." I croaked through my tears, not wanting him to hear me crying.
"Ok, kid" he whispered softly back again. "But you know where I am if you need me ok?"
He hadn't called me kid for a while. I didn't answer because my tears had over taken my voice, and I didn't want to hear me suffering. I heard him let go of his grasp on the door handle, and walk off back to Tre and Mike. When I knew I had gone away from the door, I let myself go and cried and cried for ages. After releasing all the energy from inside of me, I weakly crawled over to my hand luggage and pulled out my 'Me to You' bear that had brought from home. My memory of home before HE arrived, when everything was alright and was happy. I know it’s really babyish, but I cuddled the little bear tight, wanting to be loved and wanted. That's all I really wanted - Someone to love me and accept who I really was.
* * * * * * * *
Tre, Billie Joe and Mike had gone, and had left me behind a load of beer bottles in my bin. The cool breeze gently blowed through the suite, the sun just settling behind some buildings. I was so hungry, but there was nothing left in the suite to eat because we had all eaten it a few days ago. I couldn't order room service either because I had no money. I could have murdered a McDonalds though. I would have done anything for a double cheeseburger, with fries and a super large Coke. God, I was making myself hungry just thinking about it. I lay sprawled out across the sofa, my arms and legs looping over the edge. There was the sound of footsteps and a knock at my door. I rolled my eyes in protest of having to move off of the sofa and dragged myself to the door. I opened it, rubbing my eyes, to find Billie Joe looking sheepishly down at the floor with a brown paper bag in his hand, just like he had the day when we ended up kissing when Adrienne called.
"I just wanted to see if you were ok." He whispered, his eyes sympathetic and worried like.
"Oh right. Come in." I half whispered, pulling the door wide open and stepping back to let him pass.
"I thought you might be hungry." He called from the kitchen as I shut the door.
At the sound of food I strode into the kitchen to find him pulling out a McDonalds, yes, that's right, A MCDONALDS out of the brown paper bag. He must have read my mind. My mouth watered and a surge of happiness filled me. It was funny how a McDonalds was making me this happy!
"Billie Joe, you do not know how much I love you and how fucking happy this has made me!" I cried, literally jumping on him and hugging him.
"Hey, it's ok!" He told me, smiling but a little shocked at my jumping on him.
I don't think he knew that I actually meant the 'I love you' bit.
"I got you a cheeseburger. Is that alright?" He asked, picking up the wrapped burger and handing it to me.
"A cheeseburger will do me just fine." I cried excitedly, wondering how the hell he knew that I wanted a cheeseburger. "What did you get?"
"Corn burger. He told me, opening up his meal. "The vegetarian usual. Here's some fries."
He handed me the box of fries and we both sat down on the sofa together, Billie Joe bringing the paper bag with him. He pulled out a tray that held two large Coke’s with straws, and pushed it onto the glass coffee table that had held our arses so many times when in guitar lessons. I bit into my cheeseburger, and let the taste savour in my mouth.
"Arrh," I groaned. "This is the best fucking cheeseburger I've EVER had."
I let myself collapse into the back of the sofa as I devoured my cheeseburger.
"I take it you were hungry then." Billie Joe joked, biting into a handful of fries.
I smiled at him as I chomped on my food, reaching over and picking up my Coke to take a slurp. We ate in silence for a few minutes, me savouring the taste of my burger and fries as much as I could.
"Oh," Billie Joe grunted in between mouthfuls of food. "Tre asked me to give you this."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out my battered cell phone. He passed it to me in his palm as he too reached over to grab his Coke. I took the cell from his hand, feeling slightly embarrassed about my sudden outburst earlier. I studied it carefully and realised it had been taped down the side, over where I had cracked it when I had chucked it at the wall. I hadn't even realised it had been gone.
"Tre spent ages trying to tape it up for you." Billie Joe smiled, thinking back to Tre's demented taping. "He felt sorry for you and picked it up on the way out. He spent hours taping it up with everything and anything hat he could find in the suite. Mike tried to help him, but he kept shooing him away because he wanted to do it his own way."
Billie Joe laughed, thinking back to Tre's absurd shouting at Mike of 'bugger off.' I laughed with him, and put the cell on the table. God, Tre had sat and actually stuck my cell back together for me. I wasn't expecting them to do anything. God, Tre was so nice. I wanted to hug him tight.
"Tell Tre that I said thanks." I said to Billie Joe, before biting back into my burger.
There was another pause in between us, and I knew that Billie Joe was bursting to ask me about the conversation, or shall we say, argument I had with my mom.
"Are you ok now?" He asked, after taking another slurp of his Coke and turning to face me.
I knew it! Now it was turning into me reading him like a book instead of the other way round.
"Yeah," I simply said, finishing off burger and wanting him to forget all about it.
"Are you sure?" He asked again, cocking his head so he could see my face fully which was turned to face the floor.
"Yeah." I repeated again, quickly.
Why wouldn't he just let it drop? I didn't want to talk about it because I wanted to forget about it completely.
"You sure don't look fine about it." He told me, slurping again on his Coke.
I didn't look up at him because I knew he was right. He moved his head so I caught his eyes looking at me; I quickly pulled away on a guilty conscience.
"Alright, stop staring at me like that! You make me nervous." I groaned, sitting back up right and taking the lid off of my Coke cup.
I put the cup near my mouth and poured the rest of the Coke down my throat, risking spilling it everywhere.
"Why do I make you nervous, because you know I'm right?"
"Yes," I blurted out, and then sighed. "Yes, it's because you're right,…again."
"I know you when something's wrong." He smiled, his eyes glinting. "You want to talk about it?"
"What's there to talk about?" I asked putting down my empty cup.
"Well for starts, you were arguing over us!" Billie Joe laughed, wanting me to tell him the truth.
"Oh," I cried, startled.
Oh God, how was I going to explain this one?
"My mum hates your music, …that's….all." I whispered, looking down in shame.
"No, she hates us too, doesn't she?" He asked raising his eyebrows in a curious way.
I nodded in agreement at him, because I was too lost for words. That sounded really bad, I had to tell him the whole story for him to understand.
"It's not that she hates you," I started, trying to make things better.
"No?" He asked, smiling and waiting for a clever answer.
"No. She just hates...me...It's just that I was…." I stopped because I didn't want him to know my full obsession for them.
"Obsessed?" Billie Joe finished the sentence for me, trying not smile too much.
I hesitated, looking at him, but I couldn't bare it anymore.
"Yes, you could say that." I replied, my throat becoming dry. "All I ever did was listen to your music, play your songs on the guitar, sing your lyrics, read magazine articles about you, have posters and pictures up of you, have anything merchandise with you guys on! I was always on the Internet, on your websites, talking to other fans, looking at pictures, videos, writing stories, making avatars, you name it, I had it or done it."
I turned away in embarrassment, because he now knew how much I liked and loved Green Day, and him.
"And your mum hated it?" He asked in curiosity, determined to get the truth from me.
"Yeah, she didn't like your music, and so, you know, would always moan or take the piss." I told him, sighing. "She would always backstab me, and bring them up in an argument because she knew it pissed me off so much. Every night I would sit at my window, and fucking cry my eyes out as I wished on the stars that I would soon be free."
"What about your step dad?" Billie Joe asked, scratching his chin.
I looked sharply up at him at the sound of HIM, the person who was supposed to be my 'step dad.' No one could replace my real dad.
"What about him?" I asked again, hating the thought of him.
"Did she mention him?"
I laughed pitifully, thinking back to the argument and the screaming of my mom.
"Yeah, she mentioned him alright." I said, sarcastically. "She said she'd send him round to 'sort me out' if I didn't tell her where I was. She told that he'd 'teach me a lesson,' and then I'd be sorry."
Billie Joe's eyes had turned shallow, his face showing sadness and disbelief. I don't think he could understand what he was hearing. I turned away suddenly, my teeth tightly clenched together in anger and my hands formed as fists in frustration and hurt. My eyes wanted to cry, but I wouldn't let them. Not again.
"But, that doesn't make sense. How could she send him round when she didn't know where you were?" Billie Joe asked, confused and angry with my mom.
"My mom would find a way, believe me. She would do anything in her power!" I screamed, my fists shaking and wanting to punch something. "Why couldn't I just have a fucking normal life!?"
My face turned red with anger and I pushed my fists against the sides of my forehead in frustration. Billie Joe moved from the other sofa to next to me, and pulled my fists away from my head before I did something.
"It's ok, it's ok." He whispered to me, keeping my hands in his. "Don't worry about a thing. No one can hurt you here and as long as I'm around."
"But that's the thing isn't it?" I cried, my face sad. "You won't be around anymore because you're moving hotels and my suite durance runs out tomorrow, so I wont see you again."
I lunged myself at him, hugging him tight for a sense of security again, not wanting him to leave me, EVER. My heart beat quickened because I was so scared of what was going to happen to me after tomorrow; I had nowhere else to go.
"What are you talking about?" Billie Joe asked, hugging me back. "I wouldn't leave you here on your own. You're coming with us."
"I'm what?!" I asked, looking up at him, surprised at what I had just heard.
"You're coming with us." He repeated, looking back down at me. "Besides, I know it was mainly Tre who got you into shit with the cops, so it's his fault that we're running away. Did you honestly think that we'd leave you?"
I nodded at him, my eyes and heart swelling up with happiness, before hugging him again and placing my head on his chest. He moved in closer and rested his head on top of mine, still holding me close.
"Aw, Stef, I would never do that. I'm not like that." Billie Joe softly told me, stroking my hair. "I like you too much to do that to you."
"She's asleep. I'll leave it until tomorrow." I heard him say over and over again in my mind.
Wait a minute; "I'll leave it until tomorrow?" What did he mean by that? Shit. What did he mean? Leave what until tomorrow? Maybe Tre had had his 'talk' with Billie Joe whilst they were sitting in the lounge, me in my room. I just wish that things were simple between me and Billie Joe, but over the last few days, things had just got complicated. Too complicated to go back to normal, or how things used to be.
* * * * * * * *
A few days had passed, and the cops hadn't been back since the day they had come looking for me and Tre. Nothing had happened between me and Billie Joe since then, so I guess things would just stay like they were. And I was also guessing that Tre hadn't talked to him yet either. Billie Joe, Mike and Tre were all sitting in my suite; the balcony doors wide open, letting the sun and the cool breeze pass through. Tre and Billie Joe sat coolly with bottles of beer in their hand, Mike with a Diet Coke. The radio was playing quietly in the background, just finishing playing My Chemical Romance's 'I'm Not OK.' The track finished and went straight onto the news.
"It's the news is next, and here's today's top headline. Mr. Bush is putting the lives of the American people at great risk. More on this story after the break." The radio announced across the suite.
"Fucking wanker." Billie Joe grunted, after listening.
"He needs to go to hell." Mike added, taking another swig of his Coke.
"Why do you hate him so much?" I asked, then realised I had said the wrong thing when they all starred at me.
"Did I just hear you straight?" Tre asked, his eyes widening at me.
I looked at Billie Joe, who was looking at me like I was some kind of freak, his eyes as big as saucers.
"Don't you have American Idiot?" Mike asked, frowning at me. "I thought you would have."
"Hell yes! It's got to be my favourite album. And yeah, most of your songs are based on Bush and the war and all that shit, and I understand it completely. But I mean, did he do something to start you off hating him?" I wondering, trying to make them understand. "Everyone does something to start you off hating them."
"Did he do something?" Tre repeated sarcastically. "He did everything."
"He did everything that has made America the place it is today. He changed American history, in a very bad way. Billie has the passion for hating him though." Mike smirked, pointing at Billie Joe with his Coke can.
"I hate him too!" Tre whined like a child.
"I know you do. We all hate his fucking guts." Mike replied, looking at Tre pathetically. "I'm just saying that Billie Joe is the one who hates the most out of all of us."
"I'd like to choke him." Billie Joe growled. "No, let me say that again. I'd LOVE to choke him."
I laughed slightly, but wondered whether he would actually choke Bush. I could just imagine it!
"If we were left alone in a room together," Billie Joe started, looking at me, "the first thing I'd do is choke him to death."
"God, you really do hate him, don't you?" I said, raising my eyebrows.
"There's not a word to describe my feelings and views towards him. Hate's just a taster to what I feel." Billie Joe smiled, taking another sip of his cold fresh beer.
"He's a mother fucking arsehole." Tre added, smirking.
"Maybe I should have written Platypus about him." Billie Joe giggled, finishing off his beer.
"Dick head, fuck face, cock smoking, mother fucking arsehole, dirty twat, waste of semen and I HOPE YOU DIE!!!" Me and Tre chanted at the top of our voices at exactly the same time.
Mike laughed, nearly spilling his Coke. Tre smiled cheekily at me, who had now officially become my partner in crime. There was a pause between us all, when I decided to break the silence.
"I actually liked him." I whispered, Billie Joe spitting his beer out that he was in the middle of drinking.
"You WHAT?!?" He spluttered, an expression of shock on his face.
"I actually thought he was alright." I repeated again, hesitating as I watched Billie's mouth drop even more.
Mike looked at me suspiciously, while Tre just gasped and looked at me, shocked and horrified all at the same time.
"But then again, I'm not American am I?" I added, trying to make my views sound better. "It's not my country so I don't see everything that's going on. If I lived here, I'd probably be with you guys."
Billie Joe smiled at me, almost laughing.
"What?" I asked, hitting him.
"You're just trying to cover up yourself and your views so we won't have a go at you and think differently of you."
"No I'm not. How do you know that?" I asked him, frowning.
"Because I can read you like a book remember?" He replied, smiling at me cheekily.
Yeah, I do remember. And he could read straight through me. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or bad thing.
Suddenly my mobile, or cell as they liked to call it started to ring. Ah, saved from embarrassment and any more humiliation!
"Someone's cells ringing!" Mike cooed, sipping some more on his Coke.
"Oh shit, that's mine." I grunted as I got up from my seat and walked into my bedroom to find my phone.
I rummaged around for it, amongst all of my clothes. I found it in my jeans pocket, which were scrumpled on the floor in a heap. I picked it up and flipped it open quickly, pressing it to my ear.
"Hello?" I answered, walking back into the lounge where the guys were. I stood in the doorway, studying my nails carefully as I waited for an answer.
"Stef!" Someone screamed on the other end of the phone. "Where are you?"
Shit!!! Bollocks!!! Crap!!! Bumfuck!!! Fucking hell!!! All the words under the sun couldn't make me feel better or stop me from feeling scared.
"Stef! Answer me!" My mom screamed at me down the phone.
I looked at the guys in shock horror, my eyes widened and my hands shaking. Billie Joe cocked his head to one side and frowned, not understanding my reaction.
"Who is it?" Tre whispered to me, then turning to Billie Joe and mike for an answer. Mike shrugged his shoulders as Billie Joe tried to work out who it was.
"Mom," I managed to croak without sounding too suspicious.
Billie Joe's eyes widened at the sound of my mom, biting his lip and looking at Mike and Tre for help. Mike frowned and looked at Billie Joe confused. My mom wasn't even near me, but still she scared the living crap out of me.
"Hi Stef's mom!" Tre screamed, waving at my cell.
I swatted my hand in the air at him, ushering him to be quiet as Billie Joe gave him evil looks. Billie Joe was the only who knew about my problems with my family, so I really couldn't blame Tre, but he wasn't making things easier.
"Who's that?" My mom asked, suspiciously.
"Erm, no one. Just someone, somewhere outside." I replied, stuttering.
"Who's outside?"
"Mom, don't ask questions."
"Why not? I want to know where you are."
"I'm fine mom, ok? I'm safe, don't worry." I tried to assure her.
"That still doesn't answer my question. Where are you?!?"
"Mom!"
"Now listen to me, tell me where you are, now." My mom sternly told me.
I could just picture her in my mind, screaming down the phone. Billie Joe watched me as I quarrelled over the phone.
"Mom, why do you want to know where I am?" I asked, rubbing my tired eyes.
"I'm your mother. I'm entitled to know."
That was true, but she couldn't know where I was, or who I was with. If I told her I was with Green Day, she would go fucking mental, and do anything in her power to get me away from them. She'd probably send the Royal Air Force over to collect me if she could.
"I can't tell you." I whispered, my eyes bloodshot and tired.
"Why not?" She yelled, her voice becoming higher.
"I…just…can't." I told her, glancing over at Billie Joe.
He looked just as scared as I did! I pleaded with my eyes for him to help me out, but there was nothing he could do. I couldn't put him on the phone to my mom, because then that would make things more complicated then they already are. There'd be endless questions and debates and arguments if I did. The reception on the phone was really bad so I couldn't hear her properly. Now that was a blessing!
"Now tell me young lady!" My mom screamed again. "Where are you, before I do something you'll regret!"
"Like what?!" I yelled back, knowing that she couldn't touch me - something she didn't know. Something I could use against her.
"I'll send Tom down! He'll sort you out!" She screamed again.
Tom was my step-dad by the way. I never wanted to mention his name because I hated him so much. My anger raged inside of me at the thought of my mom sending HIM around to beat me up.
"He will!" My mom screamed again. "Tom will teach you a lesson!"
"What?" I sarcastically asked. "Oh, you mean punching my guts out until I can't breathe no more!? Is that it?"
"Don't be so rude!" My mum yelled again.
By now I had lost all my patience, Tre, Mike and Billie Joe watching me. Billie Joe’s eyes met mine, indulging me in them. I wanted to run away from everything, but I had already come the furthest I could go. Here, where I was standing right now. I couldn't run away any more.
"I'm not lying mom!" I screamed, hurt. "You don't know what he's really like."
"Really like?" She hollered. "I think I know what the man I married and love is REALLY like thank you!"
"Mom, that's the thing! You don't!!!"
"I'm not listening to this!" She snarled, her tone of voice deepening.
"Well, don't then mom. It's not like you do anyway!" I screamed again, my voice raising.
Tre kept glancing at me, and then Billie Joe, in awe of the argument that was happening between me and my mom. Mike looked at me, seemingly understanding my pain.
"How dare you!" She growled at me, angry.
"It's the truth!" I whined, my heart bleeding inside from the pain. "Why won't you believe me?"
"I can't believe I'm having this conversation."
"Nor can I mom. There could be better things to do." I sneered, thinking back to me and Billie Joe in the bedroom the other day before the cops came.
"Like what?" She asked meanfully. "Listen to that crappy band of yours?"
"It's not crappy." I grunted, my eyes nearly bulging from their sockets.
"Yes it is. You played it every night and every day when you lived here. It was a living hell for me. Everything you ever did have to involve Greens May or whatever they're called!"
"It's Green Day!" I screamed.
All of their ears pricked up at the sound of their name, especially Tre who was quite excited about the whole thing.
"They're fighting over us!" Tre sniggered, Mike hitting him over the head.
"Shut up!" Mike grunted.
"I don't care what they were called. The point is, that's all you ever think about is Greens May this, Greens May that!"
"It's GREEN DAY!" I screamed, for the last time. "You always have to bring them up in an argument, don't you?"
There was a pause between us, and I started to wonder whether my mom was still there or not.
"I'm not being funny darling, but they're not good for you."
"Don't call me darling!" I grunted, cringing and closing my eyes.
"Stef, listening to the music you do and the lifestyle you live is not good for you."
"Why not?"
"It just isn't. Come back home, give up Green Day. Leave it all behind and we can start fresh."
I had always wanted my mom to turn over a new leaf, but she was now asking for too much. Giving up Green Day? God, that was a sin. I stood and thought, looking at Billie Joe who was pleading with me to tell him what she was saying. Billie Joe. I couldn't leave them after all that they had done for me, it was just wrong. This was like choosing between he two, and it was blackmail. I looked into Billie Joe's eyes, hoping to find an answer whilst my eyes filled with tears. How could I leave him, I would regret going back home if I did, only to go back to more hurt and anger.
"No." I whispered. "No, I won’t give it up. Because do you know what? They're closer to me than you ever will be. And that is a fact."
"You bitch!" I heard my mom snarl down the phone, anger and hatred in her voice.
I wasn't surprised that she had called me a bitch. I think she would have understood this more though if she knew that Green Day was like my new family and I was with them now. But maybe it was better that she didn't know the full story. It was true; I could talk to any of them more than I ever could my mom.
"You can keep Greens May, for all I care! But you'll never be able to set your foot into this house again! Do you hear me?!" She growled.
"Good!" I yelled back. "I don't want to anyway, not as long as HE'S there. And for the last time, …it's GREEN DAY!!!"
I flipped my phone shut, and chucked it harshly at the wall, just missing Mike and his can of Coke. It smashed against the wall, and crumpled to the floor. All 3 of them just looked at my phone and then slowly up at me. I caught a sympathetic look off of Billie Joe, and the tears filled my eyes again. That was enough to set me off crying for a week. I dashed into my room, slamming the door shut behind me, finally letting the cold hard tears flow. Someone tried to follow me into the room, but couldn't because I had locked the door. They tried to push against the door to open it, but didn't get anything from doing it.
"Stef," I heard Billie Joe coo softly to me through the door. "Are you ok?"
I sat on the floor against the other side of the door, screwed up in a little ball for some security.
"Stef," he whispered again. "Please tell me you're ok... Do you want to talk?"
"I'm sorry Billie Joe, but I just need some time alone." I croaked through my tears, not wanting him to hear me crying.
"Ok, kid" he whispered softly back again. "But you know where I am if you need me ok?"
He hadn't called me kid for a while. I didn't answer because my tears had over taken my voice, and I didn't want to hear me suffering. I heard him let go of his grasp on the door handle, and walk off back to Tre and Mike. When I knew I had gone away from the door, I let myself go and cried and cried for ages. After releasing all the energy from inside of me, I weakly crawled over to my hand luggage and pulled out my 'Me to You' bear that had brought from home. My memory of home before HE arrived, when everything was alright and was happy. I know it’s really babyish, but I cuddled the little bear tight, wanting to be loved and wanted. That's all I really wanted - Someone to love me and accept who I really was.
* * * * * * * *
Tre, Billie Joe and Mike had gone, and had left me behind a load of beer bottles in my bin. The cool breeze gently blowed through the suite, the sun just settling behind some buildings. I was so hungry, but there was nothing left in the suite to eat because we had all eaten it a few days ago. I couldn't order room service either because I had no money. I could have murdered a McDonalds though. I would have done anything for a double cheeseburger, with fries and a super large Coke. God, I was making myself hungry just thinking about it. I lay sprawled out across the sofa, my arms and legs looping over the edge. There was the sound of footsteps and a knock at my door. I rolled my eyes in protest of having to move off of the sofa and dragged myself to the door. I opened it, rubbing my eyes, to find Billie Joe looking sheepishly down at the floor with a brown paper bag in his hand, just like he had the day when we ended up kissing when Adrienne called.
"I just wanted to see if you were ok." He whispered, his eyes sympathetic and worried like.
"Oh right. Come in." I half whispered, pulling the door wide open and stepping back to let him pass.
"I thought you might be hungry." He called from the kitchen as I shut the door.
At the sound of food I strode into the kitchen to find him pulling out a McDonalds, yes, that's right, A MCDONALDS out of the brown paper bag. He must have read my mind. My mouth watered and a surge of happiness filled me. It was funny how a McDonalds was making me this happy!
"Billie Joe, you do not know how much I love you and how fucking happy this has made me!" I cried, literally jumping on him and hugging him.
"Hey, it's ok!" He told me, smiling but a little shocked at my jumping on him.
I don't think he knew that I actually meant the 'I love you' bit.
"I got you a cheeseburger. Is that alright?" He asked, picking up the wrapped burger and handing it to me.
"A cheeseburger will do me just fine." I cried excitedly, wondering how the hell he knew that I wanted a cheeseburger. "What did you get?"
"Corn burger. He told me, opening up his meal. "The vegetarian usual. Here's some fries."
He handed me the box of fries and we both sat down on the sofa together, Billie Joe bringing the paper bag with him. He pulled out a tray that held two large Coke’s with straws, and pushed it onto the glass coffee table that had held our arses so many times when in guitar lessons. I bit into my cheeseburger, and let the taste savour in my mouth.
"Arrh," I groaned. "This is the best fucking cheeseburger I've EVER had."
I let myself collapse into the back of the sofa as I devoured my cheeseburger.
"I take it you were hungry then." Billie Joe joked, biting into a handful of fries.
I smiled at him as I chomped on my food, reaching over and picking up my Coke to take a slurp. We ate in silence for a few minutes, me savouring the taste of my burger and fries as much as I could.
"Oh," Billie Joe grunted in between mouthfuls of food. "Tre asked me to give you this."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out my battered cell phone. He passed it to me in his palm as he too reached over to grab his Coke. I took the cell from his hand, feeling slightly embarrassed about my sudden outburst earlier. I studied it carefully and realised it had been taped down the side, over where I had cracked it when I had chucked it at the wall. I hadn't even realised it had been gone.
"Tre spent ages trying to tape it up for you." Billie Joe smiled, thinking back to Tre's demented taping. "He felt sorry for you and picked it up on the way out. He spent hours taping it up with everything and anything hat he could find in the suite. Mike tried to help him, but he kept shooing him away because he wanted to do it his own way."
Billie Joe laughed, thinking back to Tre's absurd shouting at Mike of 'bugger off.' I laughed with him, and put the cell on the table. God, Tre had sat and actually stuck my cell back together for me. I wasn't expecting them to do anything. God, Tre was so nice. I wanted to hug him tight.
"Tell Tre that I said thanks." I said to Billie Joe, before biting back into my burger.
There was another pause in between us, and I knew that Billie Joe was bursting to ask me about the conversation, or shall we say, argument I had with my mom.
"Are you ok now?" He asked, after taking another slurp of his Coke and turning to face me.
I knew it! Now it was turning into me reading him like a book instead of the other way round.
"Yeah," I simply said, finishing off burger and wanting him to forget all about it.
"Are you sure?" He asked again, cocking his head so he could see my face fully which was turned to face the floor.
"Yeah." I repeated again, quickly.
Why wouldn't he just let it drop? I didn't want to talk about it because I wanted to forget about it completely.
"You sure don't look fine about it." He told me, slurping again on his Coke.
I didn't look up at him because I knew he was right. He moved his head so I caught his eyes looking at me; I quickly pulled away on a guilty conscience.
"Alright, stop staring at me like that! You make me nervous." I groaned, sitting back up right and taking the lid off of my Coke cup.
I put the cup near my mouth and poured the rest of the Coke down my throat, risking spilling it everywhere.
"Why do I make you nervous, because you know I'm right?"
"Yes," I blurted out, and then sighed. "Yes, it's because you're right,…again."
"I know you when something's wrong." He smiled, his eyes glinting. "You want to talk about it?"
"What's there to talk about?" I asked putting down my empty cup.
"Well for starts, you were arguing over us!" Billie Joe laughed, wanting me to tell him the truth.
"Oh," I cried, startled.
Oh God, how was I going to explain this one?
"My mum hates your music, …that's….all." I whispered, looking down in shame.
"No, she hates us too, doesn't she?" He asked raising his eyebrows in a curious way.
I nodded in agreement at him, because I was too lost for words. That sounded really bad, I had to tell him the whole story for him to understand.
"It's not that she hates you," I started, trying to make things better.
"No?" He asked, smiling and waiting for a clever answer.
"No. She just hates...me...It's just that I was…." I stopped because I didn't want him to know my full obsession for them.
"Obsessed?" Billie Joe finished the sentence for me, trying not smile too much.
I hesitated, looking at him, but I couldn't bare it anymore.
"Yes, you could say that." I replied, my throat becoming dry. "All I ever did was listen to your music, play your songs on the guitar, sing your lyrics, read magazine articles about you, have posters and pictures up of you, have anything merchandise with you guys on! I was always on the Internet, on your websites, talking to other fans, looking at pictures, videos, writing stories, making avatars, you name it, I had it or done it."
I turned away in embarrassment, because he now knew how much I liked and loved Green Day, and him.
"And your mum hated it?" He asked in curiosity, determined to get the truth from me.
"Yeah, she didn't like your music, and so, you know, would always moan or take the piss." I told him, sighing. "She would always backstab me, and bring them up in an argument because she knew it pissed me off so much. Every night I would sit at my window, and fucking cry my eyes out as I wished on the stars that I would soon be free."
"What about your step dad?" Billie Joe asked, scratching his chin.
I looked sharply up at him at the sound of HIM, the person who was supposed to be my 'step dad.' No one could replace my real dad.
"What about him?" I asked again, hating the thought of him.
"Did she mention him?"
I laughed pitifully, thinking back to the argument and the screaming of my mom.
"Yeah, she mentioned him alright." I said, sarcastically. "She said she'd send him round to 'sort me out' if I didn't tell her where I was. She told that he'd 'teach me a lesson,' and then I'd be sorry."
Billie Joe's eyes had turned shallow, his face showing sadness and disbelief. I don't think he could understand what he was hearing. I turned away suddenly, my teeth tightly clenched together in anger and my hands formed as fists in frustration and hurt. My eyes wanted to cry, but I wouldn't let them. Not again.
"But, that doesn't make sense. How could she send him round when she didn't know where you were?" Billie Joe asked, confused and angry with my mom.
"My mom would find a way, believe me. She would do anything in her power!" I screamed, my fists shaking and wanting to punch something. "Why couldn't I just have a fucking normal life!?"
My face turned red with anger and I pushed my fists against the sides of my forehead in frustration. Billie Joe moved from the other sofa to next to me, and pulled my fists away from my head before I did something.
"It's ok, it's ok." He whispered to me, keeping my hands in his. "Don't worry about a thing. No one can hurt you here and as long as I'm around."
"But that's the thing isn't it?" I cried, my face sad. "You won't be around anymore because you're moving hotels and my suite durance runs out tomorrow, so I wont see you again."
I lunged myself at him, hugging him tight for a sense of security again, not wanting him to leave me, EVER. My heart beat quickened because I was so scared of what was going to happen to me after tomorrow; I had nowhere else to go.
"What are you talking about?" Billie Joe asked, hugging me back. "I wouldn't leave you here on your own. You're coming with us."
"I'm what?!" I asked, looking up at him, surprised at what I had just heard.
"You're coming with us." He repeated, looking back down at me. "Besides, I know it was mainly Tre who got you into shit with the cops, so it's his fault that we're running away. Did you honestly think that we'd leave you?"
I nodded at him, my eyes and heart swelling up with happiness, before hugging him again and placing my head on his chest. He moved in closer and rested his head on top of mine, still holding me close.
"Aw, Stef, I would never do that. I'm not like that." Billie Joe softly told me, stroking my hair. "I like you too much to do that to you."
