A Note Don't Come Easy, chapter 17
“Billie Joe!� I screamed again, racing after him. “Wait!�
He still didn’t listen, pacing down the staircases as fast as he could. It was always this way…something ALWAYS had to happen when things were just starting to work out. I hated it…why did there always have to be distractions? There was no place in the world that could stop us from being distracted - there would always be something or someone. I called out to him again in despair, hoping he would answer me this time.
“Billie Joe! Wait, please!� I pleaded with him, as I tried to catch up.
He finished the last flight of stairs, and plundered through the door that lead into the hotel lobby. The same door we had jammed to block out the masses of fans when we first arrived. As I followed him through the door, I noticed the fire extinguisher on the floor in the corner; the one Mike had deliberately placed between the door and the wall. I didn’t call him whilst we were in the lobby because that would attract unwanted attention, and I didn’t want that. Partly because I didn’t want it to look obvious that I was with a member of Green Day, and because of the fact that my face was battered and bruised. I tried to keep up behind him, but whenever I got even near him he would pick up the pace, and I couldn’t run because of my aching side. I had to keep Tre’s promise. It was the least I could do after all that he done for me - talking to Billie Joe and listening to me when I needed someone to talk to. Billie Joe shot through the glass hotel doors that lead out onto the boulevard. I suddenly burst after him, running, knowing that if I didn’t stop him now, it would be too late. I stopped caring about my aches and pains for a few seconds and put Billie Joe first - I think it was the first time I had actually put any of them before me. First time for everything.
“Billie Joe!� I screamed again, now we were outside.
A sudden rip descended through my side, making me inhale quickly in pain. I leaned on the wall outside to the hotel entrance, clutching my side in familiar agony.
“Billie Joe!� I croaked again, realising I was failing. “My side…�
He stopped suddenly at my cry for help as he was halfway down the stony steps, and turned around. He was angry and upset, I could tell. I could see that, but I couldn’t let him blow everything up, our cover would be blown and then, well…that would be it. I didn’t want him to get himself in trouble; he was in a bad enough state already. I winched in pain again as I tried to stand up, Billie Joe walking back up the steps to give me a hand. He took my hand and lifted me up to my feet, as I clutched my side.
“Are, are you ok?� He asked foolishly.
“Yeah,� I replied, gulping. “Yeah, I think so.�
As soon as I was on my feet, he turned to walk off again. I acted quickly, lashing my arm out to grab his jacket sleeve.
“Billie Joe…don’t. Please.� I pleaded with him as much as I could. “You’re…scaring me.�
As soon as I said this, he looked up at me, sorrow in his eyes. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I don’t think he realised how much he was scaring me. I think it was a shock to him.
“I’m scared because I might never see you again, and, I don’t want to lose you.� I stuttered, trying to get my words right without sounding too obsessed with him.
That did sound really corny though.
“But why?� He croaked, his eyes glinting under the moonlight. “Why did they - �
“I don’t know.� I cut him short. “If I knew, I'd tell you. But...I don’t.�
He looked into my eyes as I did the same to him, both deep in thought. I wanted him to know how I felt, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was like; the words were on the end of my tongue, but I couldn’t say them. He moved his jaw from side to side slightly, not really knowing what to do.
“They’re too much trouble. If you go after them, then you be the one who’ll get the blame. It’s just the way it works.� I told him, trying to make him see sense even though I thought it was pointless because I wanted to go and smash their brains in myself.
“But something needs to be done Stef.� He whined, trying to change my mind. “You can’t let them get away with it. Don’t you see?�
“Yes, I do Billie Joe. But there’s nothing we can do.� I groaned, shivering because of the cold outside.
I wasn’t even wearing a jacket or shoes because I had just run after him from my room. I hadn’t even shut the door!
“Can’t you go to the police?� He asked, pleading with his eyes.
God, he was desperate then if he wanted to go to the police. Id never thought I’d see the day when Billie Joe Armstrong went voluntarily to the police.
“We can’t.� I whined. “Me and Tre are hiding from them, remember?�
“Oh…yeah.� He whispered, realising that not even that was possible.
“Please Billie Joe, just, come back inside. I promised Tre.�
After a few seconds pause, he finally gave in.
“Alright, alright. I’ll stay here, in the hotel.� He sighed, scratching his head, ruffling his hair up.
I loved it when he did that.
“Thank you.� I gasped in relief, tears filling my eyes.
He leaned in towards me for a hug, making me feel warm. As always, I wanted to stay like this forever, in his arms, and warm. I heard him sigh deeply in defeat as he hugged me, making me slightly special. I turned round to go up the stairs, back into the hotel, holding Billie Joe’s hand and hoping and praying that we could carry on from where we stopped. But as I took the first 2 steps, I was tugged back down, because Billie Joe hadn’t moved up the steps behind me. He was still standing there, clueless on the steps.
“Aren’t you coming?� I asked him, curious to as why he was still just standing there.
“Nah…� he grumbled back, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m…I’m gonna…stay out here for a while.�
“You’re not gonna…� I asked him, suddenly worried about leaving him out here alone.
“No, no. I won’t do…anything…like that. I just need to clear my head out.� He sighed, looking up at me.
I wanted to believe him, and just walk away and forgot about the whole thing. I wanted to leave him to do what he wanted, but I wasn’t sure. I should really trust him, he trusts me. After all, he is the man who took me in, gave me somewhere to stay, gave me food, taught me how to REALLY play guitar and was always there for me when I needed someone. God, that really puts it into perspective, don’t it? I did nothing but take compared to that.
“Are you sure?� I asked him, knowing that the answer would be yes.
It was just reassurance, that was all. Something to replace the awkward silence.
“Yeah, I’m sure.� He replied, reassuring me. “I’ll be fine. You need to rest. Go on, before you make yourself even more ill than you already are.�
I smiled weakly to him, before letting go of his hand and starting up the stairs again. Why was I walking away? This didn’t feel right. I suddenly turned around, to see him still standing there, watching me with his sore eyes. I slowly moved back down, and gave him a peck on his cold cheek. It was ice. I suddenly hesitated afterwards, stopping to see what his reaction was. I pulled away from his face and looked at him, as he smiled bleakly back. We were both tired, had both been crying, (well Billie Joe nearly) and had both been arguing. He looked so awful, so…fucked up in everything.
“By the way..� I whispered to him, trying to hide the little laughter that was in me. “You’re flies are un-done.�
“Oh fuck…� Billie Joe grunted in an embarrassed way, quickly doing his flies up and making sure no one was looking. I smiled at him mischievously before turning and plodding back up the steps, and this time, I didn’t look back.
* * * * * * * *
I finally reached my hotel room, still with the door open like I had left it. I would have thought someone would have gone in there and tried to steal whatever they could. Well, it WAS half 11 in the evening, so I suppose everyone was asleep. I closed the door behind me, and my room fell into darkness. I plodded into the room and flew myself on my bed in tiredness. I laid on the bed, motionless, until I caught something in the corner of my eye. Billie Joe’s tie lying on the floor. I leaned forward over the bed and scooped it up in my hand. It still smelt of him. You know when everyone has a distinctive smell? That’s what I could smell on his tie. I clutched the tie tightly in my hand, treasuring it forever. Poor Billie Joe, maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut about not being able to be in the final. Then just maybe, things would have been ok.
* * * * * * * *
I tried desperately to get to sleep within the next hour, constantly fidgeting and moving about in irritance. I laid and listened to American Idiot for a while, because that was what usually sent me asleep. But not this time, there was something bugging me - I was worried. Worried about Billie Joe. I finally gave into myself and slid out of bed and onto the tiny balcony in my room. I peered over the edge, and looked down onto the hotel entrance below me. Billie Joe was still sitting on the steps to the hotel, drowning his sorrows. I felt so sorry for him; all I had done since I had arrived was give him grief. Thank god he was still there though, and not out there, looking for those thugs that beat the crap out of me. I sat out on the balcony and watched over him, just to make sure that he was ok and didn’t decide to wonder off in a lash of anger. I still couldn’t quite grasp what had happened earlier with him. He was about to take off his fucking trousers. There had been kissing without looking back, tears, confessions, the lot. I actually thought we were going to go all the way. I had obviously gotten my hopes up too high again. At this rate, things weren’t going to change. I needed a miracle to make things work between me and Billie Joe. I looked up above, and my eyes met a sky full of stars. The stars I had wished and prayed on every night when I was at home. One night I had sat and picked out lucky stars - how sad was I? Sad enough to be that desperate for something to happen and help me. I hadn’t wished upon my stars for a while. I didn’t need to lately, but tonight was going to be the first time since I had come to America. I sat and wished with all my might that Billie Joe would be ok, and that he would be safe and out of harms reach. I wanted him to be ok more than anything in the world. I wished so hard my head started to hurt. It’s really sad and pathetic, I know, but it was my last resort. I had nothing else to help me - only myself and my stars.
* * * * * * * *
It had been an hour since I had come to sit out on the balcony, and it was about half 1 in the morning. I was slowly falling asleep, but I kept myself by going over Green Day lyrics in my head. That’s what I did at school to pass the time in the shitty lessons I had. I looked back down to the hotel entrance, and Billie Joe was still there. God, what was he thinking about?! 2 hours he had been sitting there. Then I suddenly remembered the fact that he had had some sort of mess up with Adrienne. God, poor Billie Joe. I was beginning to worry seriously about him. I looked back down to see him slowly getting up from his resting spot on the steps. I quickly moved forward to peer over the balcony, but not too much so he could see me. He stretched up with his arms and yawned, before scratching his chest and plodding back into the hotel. I sighed a deep sigh of relief - at least he had done the right thing of coming back inside. I shouldn’t have doubted him, but I just had to make sure. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, it was more of the fact that I was looking out for him, making sure he was ok and keeping Tre’s promise and putting my own mind to rest. When it finally looked as if he had come in for good, I let myself go with the tension that was building up inside of me. So much shit had happened today - good and bad. Most of it was bad though. The only good thing that had happened was I had gotten into the final and my quick ‘moment’ with Billie Joe. Even they were forced over with darkness. I couldn’t be in the final now anyways, it was because of that I got beaten up, and my moment with Billie Joe had just caused another argument. Life was being a bitch at the moment to say the least. I slowly closed the door to the balcony once back inside my room, and threw myself onto the bed without even bothering to change. Before I knew it, I was waking up six hours later to find the light streaming through my window and my eyeliner smudged under my eyes.
* * * * * * * *
It had been 2 days after ‘hell day,’ as I had branded it. I was sitting in a praying mantis type style position on the bed, surrounded by chocolates, Green Day CD’s, and magazines the guys had brought me. My CD’s had been mine all along - they weren’t new, except for Insomniac, which Mike had bought me since I had never actually ended up buying it. Tre had brought me a few chocolates and magazines to pass the time, mostly all of which they included articles with Green Day in. Oh yeah, and then there was Billie Joe’s guitar sitting propped up against the side of my bed. He had persuaded me to take part in the final, using his guitar. I didn’t feel right using his guitar, it was too much of an icon to use, but he had insisted I used it.
“Don’t let those bastards grind you down.� He had told me last night when he had handed over his guitar to me. “If you quit out, then they’ll know they’ve gotten to you. Quitting’s not kewl.�
I had tried various times last night on it, but I couldn’t really concentrate. I hadn’t even thought of a song to play, which was kinda worrying. I didn’t tell Billie Joe that though, otherwise it would be more trouble for him, and I didn’t want that. He had enough to think about without worrying about me, I didn’t want a repeat version of ‘hell day.’ I reached over to the cabinet by the side of my bed and grabbed hold of my personal CD player whilst munching through a bag of M and M’s Tre had gotten me. I put in American Idiot to listen to, on full volume. I didn’t care if the volume was going to blow my brains out – It might do me good to have exactly that done to me. It might clear me out in the head. Then maybe I would be able to make more sense of things. I started singing at the top of my voice to American Idiot, air guitaring madly to myself. I also didn’t care that the whole hotel could hear my absurd singing. They didn’t have to listen if they didn’t want to. Nobody was making them. It got to halfway through Jesus of Suburbia, and I started to sing once again loudly at the top of my voice, even if it was starting to hurt. Then it suddenly clicked inside my head. What if I played Jesus of Suburbia at the final? Billie Joe had told me that they were looking for extra talent, something out of the extraordinary. Playing a 9-minute rock opera would definitely earn me some points. A surge of excitement filled me as I yanked the earphones out of my ears and picked up Billie Joe’s guitar. Shit, I didn’t have the tabs for it. I put the guitar back up against the wall, and grabbed the room key before running downstairs to the Internet café. I logged onto my favourite Green Day website, geekstinkbreath.net, (who else?) and logged on under my username for the first time in weeks. I searched under the downloads section hurriedly, searching for The Jesus of Suburbia tabs. I managed to find at least 2 versions of it, quickly printing them off. It looked so fucking hard, but I was determined to learn it within one night, as the final was tomorrow. I quickly logged off before anyone else on the site could question me where I had been for the last month. I didn’t really want to explain where I was or who I was with. If I did, then that would resolve to obsessive emailing from the teenies asking me to hook them up with Billie Joe. I would email my Green Day pals later, explaining where I had been and why I hadn’t been posting any more chapters of my story lately. I couldn’t put up with the teeenie’s constant whining at this moment in time - I had a 9-minute song to learn to play! I grabbed the printed tabs and sprinted back up to my room, kinda excited for the first time about this final audition.
* * * * * * * *
I had been practising for the last 3 hours non-stop, and my wrist was starting to ache from the constant strumming. I had mastered the first 3 parts to the song, constantly practising to keep the chords fresh in my mind. I got up from my spot on the bed and I suddenly got a dose of pins and needles in my right leg because I had been sitting on it. I never sat normal. I limped slightly and picked up the packet of revels Tre had got me. I lay back on my bed and munched slowly on the chocolate, thinking about the audition tomorrow. Thinking back, I was an arsehole to think I wasn’t going to do the audition. I had gotten this far, why would I want to give up? I guess 2 days ago all I was thinking about was myself and not Billie Joe. He had given up so much of his time to help me, I couldn’t help think why. From the start he had offered to help me, and that was within minutes of meeting each other. I didn’t deserve him or his help. The other night had been amazing though. Well, what we had made of it anyway! I thought back to Billie Joe, his kissing, when he had poured his heart out to me, …and the un-doing of his trousers. Then I had to go and spoil it all. I hadn’t done it intentionally though. I wanted to it to happen as much as he did, but I couldn’t lie to him about not doing the audition after all he had done for me. I needed to make things up to him, try and make it all ok again. Now how the hell was I gonna do that? I wasn’t exactly the most thoughtful person around was I? I had upset Billie Joe too many times to remember. I still couldn’t forget the look on his face when we first met and I had started to play Wake Me Up When September Ends. The tears wallowing in his eyes, the pain I had caused. Shit, I had fucked up so badly….
* * * * * * * *
I was desperately searching through my suitcase to find something suitable to wear for the audition tomorrow. All my shit was spread out across the bed and floor in heaps, making the place a shit tip. I then realised I didn’t have anything ‘impressible’ with me – everything was still at home. I hadn’t intended to stay this long. I knew that the only solution was to go out and buy some new clothes. I could do with some anyway. I knew I had a little bit of money left over in my bank, so I suppose buying a few things wouldn’t hurt. I shoved on my battered converse and grabbed my bankcard and hotel room key before plodding down the various sets of hotel stairs. As I ran hurriedly down the stairs, taking flight as I went, I crashed into someone and head butted them hard.
“Aw, fuck.� I groaned, taking a step back and holding my head in pain.
“Fucking hell, what are you? Some kinda bull?� Tre sarcastically cried, rubbing his head too.
“Sorry dude.� I groaned again, closing my eyes to see if it would make the pain any better.
“What the fuck were you doing?� He asked, frowning. “Taking flight?�
“Something like that.� I replied, looking at him and winching.
“Where are you off too anyway, bounding down the stairs like that?� Tre asked, looking at me, still frowning.
“Shopping.� I told him, feeling slightly light headed now.
“What for?�
What was with the questions all of the sudden? Did he have to know all the details? I wanted it to be a surprise what I wore tomorrow – not that it would mean much to them though.
“Clothes.� I replied, before starting to walk back down the stairs again.
“I’ll come with you.� Tre called to me, smiling.
I spun round on the step, looking back up at Tre, trying not to laugh.
“What? You shop with me for girls clothes?� I mocked, smirking.
“I’m full of surprises.� He laughed, cheekily smiling. “Trust me. I’m a pro when it comes to that.�
* * * * * * * *
So me and Tre Cool went shopping. It was kinda weird. He knew exactly where to go and what I was looking for – how did he know this? I didn’t dare ask. We crossed the boulevard and headed into a shop called ‘Tizzard’s Rock,’ passing ‘Amp’s Way’ as we went. (That’s the guitar shop Billie Joe took me into if you’ve forgotten.) They had some strange shop names over here in America. Tre lead me in as if he owned the place as I followed behind.
“Now what do you want?� He asked looking down the different aisles. “Trousers? Shirts? Socks? T-Shirts?�
I looked down the various aisles when suddenly something caught my eye. I shot down the left aisle and headed towards the tie section. Tre followed behind, to find me looking a red and black stripy tie – just like Billie Joe’s.
“Oh, so you wanna tie huh?� He asked, standing behind me.
“Yeah.�
I browsed across the rows and rows of ties, searching for nothing in particular. I came across a white and black polka dot one, which I seemed to fall instantly in love with. I picked it up off of the rack and studied it back and front.
“Do you and Billie Joe have the same dress sense or something?� Tre asked, seeing the tie I’d picked up.
“Wah?� I groaned, not understanding him and not really listening.
“Billie Joe has one like that too. Wait ‘til I tell him that he dresses like a girl.� Tre giggled, thinking about it.
“What’s wrong with that?� I asked, turning to face him. “I’d rather be called a guy than Billie Joe a girl.�
“Alright, alright!� Tre whined, putting his hands up in the air as a defence. “What’s up with you?�
“Nothing.� I replied, picking up the red and black stripy tie I saw earlier.
“Don’t lie.� Tre sternly told me. “I know you when something’s up.�
“Nothing’s wrong.� I repeated, moving on to the shirt section.
“It’s Billie Joe isn’t it?� He asked, smiling kind-heartedly.
“No.�
“Yeah it is. I can tell by the way you’re trying to ignore the subject.�
“I’m not trying to ignore the subject.�
“Then why won’t you tell me?� Tre asked, making me stop to think. If it wasn’t about Billie Joe you would have told me straight away. I am your agony uncle remember?�
I looked up at him and met his pleading puppy dog eyes full on. I just couldn’t resist.
I sighed. Why was everything so difficult when it came to these guys?
“Yeah.� I sighed, admitting defeat. “Yeah, you’re right. It is Billie Joe.�
“I knew it was!� Tre smiled, winning me round. “So, what’s happened now?�
“Nothing’s happened.� I replied, snappy like. “That’s exactly it!�
“So you wanna fuck him?� Tre concluded, cutting to the point.
“No!� I screamed back in surprise.
“You know you wanna!� Tre grinned, nudging me playfully.
“No!� I screamed again. “I mean, no. I don’t wanna…fuck him…but I wanna…you know…not fuck…but…yeah…maybe…I need to...�
I wasn’t making much sense. Wait, let me re-phrase that. I was making NO sense. I couldn’t even understand myself, rambling on like I was!
“You either do or you don’t Stef!� Tre laughed, trying to get the truth out of me.
“I…don’t…know…� I spluttered, not really knowing what to say.
“You don’t know?� Tre repeated, kind of shocked, his eyes widening before heading back down the aisle. “God, help you. �
“I started fiddling with the two ties in my hand, wrapping them around my fingers. I felt so much for Billie Joe. But Tre didn’t understand that I couldn’t just go up to him and fuck him. It wasn’t that simple and things were more complicated then that – as I keep saying. There were feelings involved that were at risk of getting hurt badly. I didn’t want any damage to be done to neither of us.
“We…nearly…the…other night.� I whispered, hesitating because I didn’t know whether I should be telling Tre this or not.
“You what!?� Tre called, turning around suddenly, stunned and silent.
“The…other…night.� I said again, not wanting to tell him fully.
He had an imaginative mind; he could work it out for himself. I’m sure he’d have no trouble in doing so either.
“Wait a sec…� Tre stopped me talking, his voice becoming louder. “When was this?�
“The other night.� I whispered. “After I got beaten up.�
“Whoa! He doesn’t waste time, does he?� Tre laughed in surprise. “I can’t believe this! Billie Joe you little fucker! Was this after I had sent him up to you?!�
“Yeah.� I simply replied, leaving Tre to do all the questioning and opinion making.
“God, do I have that much of an influence on you two? Jeeze. Tre Cool works his magic once again. Well, I do happen to be the master of sex.�
“Can we go now?� I asked, becoming slightly annoyed.
“What?� Tre asked, snapping out of his thoughts suddenly realising I was pissed off. “Oh yeah, sure. But you’re not going to get out of it that easily. I want more answers!�
I made my way slowly to the till, blocking out Tre’s constant accusations on me and Billie Joe. I didn’t want the whole shop to know I had nearly slept with Billie Joe Armstrong, the leader singer and guitarist of only the biggest band in the world, Green Day. I paid for my two ties with the money I had drawn from the bank earlier. The whole time I had Tre standing right behind me asking more questions that I even didn’t know the answers to. We walked out onto the boulevard, the sun blinding us as we stepped out of the shop.
“So, why didn’t ya?!� Tre asked excitedly, running beside me to keep up.
“Do what?� I asked, swinging my shopping bag beside me.
“Fuck Billie Joe?�
“Tre…� I groaned, wishing I had never opened my big mouth once again. “It’s nothing big, ok?!�
“Nothing big?!� Tre wailed, flapping his arms about everywhere like a madman. “You only just happened to almost end up in bed with Billie Joe, who is the front man of Green Day, who has a wife and 2 kids, and who has a whole generation of fans who are in love with him!�
“Now you’re just making me feel bad.� I grunted, wincing from the sunlight as we crossed the sidewalk. “I told you because I thought I could talk to you about it.�
“That’s what we’re doing isn’t it?� Tre asked. “Talking about it.�
“No, you just want to know all the glory details. That’s what it is.� I replied, my patience span decreasing.
“ God, someone needs to smile.� Tre commented, raising his eyebrows.
There was a pause between us as we made our way down the sidewalk.
“So, what are you going to do now? About you and Billie Joe I mean.� Tre asked, actually being serious about it for the first time today, breaking the silence.
“Erm…I don’t know. But I’m trying to think of something.� I told him, sighing, the thoughts turning over in my mind.
“Anything in mind?� He asked softly, walking beside me like a dog and his owner would – never leaving each other’s sides.
“I was hoping to have another talk with him. We tried to the other night, but it turned into something else.� I hesitated, thinking back.
“Oh, I get ya.� Tre smiled slightly, knowing what I meant. “You know, we wont be doing anything tomorrow night after the audition. Maybe you could do something together then?�
“Like what?� I asked sarcastically.
“I don’t know. Even if you just go up to your room, it’s better than nothing.� Tre suggested, hinting slightly.
“You think he will?� I asked, wondering whether to do exactly that.
“He’s done it every other time hasn’t he? There’s no reason why he wouldn’t this time.� Tre assured me, smiling. “He has every reason to. You’ll have something to celebrate as well. A bottle of champagne will definitely put him in a good mood after you win the final tomorrow.�
“Don’t bet on it.� I mocked, sniggering sarcastically.
“I’m being serious.� Tre whined, pleading with his face.
That was funny to hear from Tre, the one who had gone round the shop earlier shouting out that I had nearly fucked Billie Joe.
“There’s no reason why you shouldn’t win. You deserve it after all that’s happened to you. The other kid hasn’t got any talent at all. You’ll do fine.� Tre laughed, putting his hand around my shoulder.
“I hope so Tre.� I groaned, looking back up at him worriedly. “I hope so.�
* * * * * * * *
I set my alarm for 6 in the morning. I didn’t have to be at the studio until 10 for the audition tomorrow, but I wanted to get up early and practise. Not turning up on time would really please the judges now, wouldn’t it? I placed my new ties and pair of black trouser style pants I had bought earlier in their bags on the floor in the corner. I picked up Billie Joe’s guitar and sat with it on my lap for ages, just staring into nothing, thinking about the audition and Billie Joe. A surge of excitement filled through me at the thought of spending some quality time with Billie Joe after the audition. This time, I would make sure there was nothing to stop or distract us. I had had enough of only getting halfway before starting back at the beginning again. I spent the next hour practising The Jesus of Suburbia, my wrist finally giving way after practising 8 times all the way through. I slipped on my Green Day Nimrod hoody and crawled into bed, my eyelids almost closing. I was so tired – I hadn’t been this tired since the day after the night when me and Tre had run from the cops and Mike had had a shit off of my balcony back in the other hotel. That evening was awesome. I had enjoyed every moment of it. That had been the first fun I had had in ages. I laid in bed, still thinking, before reaching out and turning the light off, the room plunging me into darkness for the rest of the night. I suddenly turned it back on in an instant when someone knocked on my door…Billie Joe…
He still didn’t listen, pacing down the staircases as fast as he could. It was always this way…something ALWAYS had to happen when things were just starting to work out. I hated it…why did there always have to be distractions? There was no place in the world that could stop us from being distracted - there would always be something or someone. I called out to him again in despair, hoping he would answer me this time.
“Billie Joe! Wait, please!� I pleaded with him, as I tried to catch up.
He finished the last flight of stairs, and plundered through the door that lead into the hotel lobby. The same door we had jammed to block out the masses of fans when we first arrived. As I followed him through the door, I noticed the fire extinguisher on the floor in the corner; the one Mike had deliberately placed between the door and the wall. I didn’t call him whilst we were in the lobby because that would attract unwanted attention, and I didn’t want that. Partly because I didn’t want it to look obvious that I was with a member of Green Day, and because of the fact that my face was battered and bruised. I tried to keep up behind him, but whenever I got even near him he would pick up the pace, and I couldn’t run because of my aching side. I had to keep Tre’s promise. It was the least I could do after all that he done for me - talking to Billie Joe and listening to me when I needed someone to talk to. Billie Joe shot through the glass hotel doors that lead out onto the boulevard. I suddenly burst after him, running, knowing that if I didn’t stop him now, it would be too late. I stopped caring about my aches and pains for a few seconds and put Billie Joe first - I think it was the first time I had actually put any of them before me. First time for everything.
“Billie Joe!� I screamed again, now we were outside.
A sudden rip descended through my side, making me inhale quickly in pain. I leaned on the wall outside to the hotel entrance, clutching my side in familiar agony.
“Billie Joe!� I croaked again, realising I was failing. “My side…�
He stopped suddenly at my cry for help as he was halfway down the stony steps, and turned around. He was angry and upset, I could tell. I could see that, but I couldn’t let him blow everything up, our cover would be blown and then, well…that would be it. I didn’t want him to get himself in trouble; he was in a bad enough state already. I winched in pain again as I tried to stand up, Billie Joe walking back up the steps to give me a hand. He took my hand and lifted me up to my feet, as I clutched my side.
“Are, are you ok?� He asked foolishly.
“Yeah,� I replied, gulping. “Yeah, I think so.�
As soon as I was on my feet, he turned to walk off again. I acted quickly, lashing my arm out to grab his jacket sleeve.
“Billie Joe…don’t. Please.� I pleaded with him as much as I could. “You’re…scaring me.�
As soon as I said this, he looked up at me, sorrow in his eyes. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I don’t think he realised how much he was scaring me. I think it was a shock to him.
“I’m scared because I might never see you again, and, I don’t want to lose you.� I stuttered, trying to get my words right without sounding too obsessed with him.
That did sound really corny though.
“But why?� He croaked, his eyes glinting under the moonlight. “Why did they - �
“I don’t know.� I cut him short. “If I knew, I'd tell you. But...I don’t.�
He looked into my eyes as I did the same to him, both deep in thought. I wanted him to know how I felt, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was like; the words were on the end of my tongue, but I couldn’t say them. He moved his jaw from side to side slightly, not really knowing what to do.
“They’re too much trouble. If you go after them, then you be the one who’ll get the blame. It’s just the way it works.� I told him, trying to make him see sense even though I thought it was pointless because I wanted to go and smash their brains in myself.
“But something needs to be done Stef.� He whined, trying to change my mind. “You can’t let them get away with it. Don’t you see?�
“Yes, I do Billie Joe. But there’s nothing we can do.� I groaned, shivering because of the cold outside.
I wasn’t even wearing a jacket or shoes because I had just run after him from my room. I hadn’t even shut the door!
“Can’t you go to the police?� He asked, pleading with his eyes.
God, he was desperate then if he wanted to go to the police. Id never thought I’d see the day when Billie Joe Armstrong went voluntarily to the police.
“We can’t.� I whined. “Me and Tre are hiding from them, remember?�
“Oh…yeah.� He whispered, realising that not even that was possible.
“Please Billie Joe, just, come back inside. I promised Tre.�
After a few seconds pause, he finally gave in.
“Alright, alright. I’ll stay here, in the hotel.� He sighed, scratching his head, ruffling his hair up.
I loved it when he did that.
“Thank you.� I gasped in relief, tears filling my eyes.
He leaned in towards me for a hug, making me feel warm. As always, I wanted to stay like this forever, in his arms, and warm. I heard him sigh deeply in defeat as he hugged me, making me slightly special. I turned round to go up the stairs, back into the hotel, holding Billie Joe’s hand and hoping and praying that we could carry on from where we stopped. But as I took the first 2 steps, I was tugged back down, because Billie Joe hadn’t moved up the steps behind me. He was still standing there, clueless on the steps.
“Aren’t you coming?� I asked him, curious to as why he was still just standing there.
“Nah…� he grumbled back, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m…I’m gonna…stay out here for a while.�
“You’re not gonna…� I asked him, suddenly worried about leaving him out here alone.
“No, no. I won’t do…anything…like that. I just need to clear my head out.� He sighed, looking up at me.
I wanted to believe him, and just walk away and forgot about the whole thing. I wanted to leave him to do what he wanted, but I wasn’t sure. I should really trust him, he trusts me. After all, he is the man who took me in, gave me somewhere to stay, gave me food, taught me how to REALLY play guitar and was always there for me when I needed someone. God, that really puts it into perspective, don’t it? I did nothing but take compared to that.
“Are you sure?� I asked him, knowing that the answer would be yes.
It was just reassurance, that was all. Something to replace the awkward silence.
“Yeah, I’m sure.� He replied, reassuring me. “I’ll be fine. You need to rest. Go on, before you make yourself even more ill than you already are.�
I smiled weakly to him, before letting go of his hand and starting up the stairs again. Why was I walking away? This didn’t feel right. I suddenly turned around, to see him still standing there, watching me with his sore eyes. I slowly moved back down, and gave him a peck on his cold cheek. It was ice. I suddenly hesitated afterwards, stopping to see what his reaction was. I pulled away from his face and looked at him, as he smiled bleakly back. We were both tired, had both been crying, (well Billie Joe nearly) and had both been arguing. He looked so awful, so…fucked up in everything.
“By the way..� I whispered to him, trying to hide the little laughter that was in me. “You’re flies are un-done.�
“Oh fuck…� Billie Joe grunted in an embarrassed way, quickly doing his flies up and making sure no one was looking. I smiled at him mischievously before turning and plodding back up the steps, and this time, I didn’t look back.
* * * * * * * *
I finally reached my hotel room, still with the door open like I had left it. I would have thought someone would have gone in there and tried to steal whatever they could. Well, it WAS half 11 in the evening, so I suppose everyone was asleep. I closed the door behind me, and my room fell into darkness. I plodded into the room and flew myself on my bed in tiredness. I laid on the bed, motionless, until I caught something in the corner of my eye. Billie Joe’s tie lying on the floor. I leaned forward over the bed and scooped it up in my hand. It still smelt of him. You know when everyone has a distinctive smell? That’s what I could smell on his tie. I clutched the tie tightly in my hand, treasuring it forever. Poor Billie Joe, maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut about not being able to be in the final. Then just maybe, things would have been ok.
* * * * * * * *
I tried desperately to get to sleep within the next hour, constantly fidgeting and moving about in irritance. I laid and listened to American Idiot for a while, because that was what usually sent me asleep. But not this time, there was something bugging me - I was worried. Worried about Billie Joe. I finally gave into myself and slid out of bed and onto the tiny balcony in my room. I peered over the edge, and looked down onto the hotel entrance below me. Billie Joe was still sitting on the steps to the hotel, drowning his sorrows. I felt so sorry for him; all I had done since I had arrived was give him grief. Thank god he was still there though, and not out there, looking for those thugs that beat the crap out of me. I sat out on the balcony and watched over him, just to make sure that he was ok and didn’t decide to wonder off in a lash of anger. I still couldn’t quite grasp what had happened earlier with him. He was about to take off his fucking trousers. There had been kissing without looking back, tears, confessions, the lot. I actually thought we were going to go all the way. I had obviously gotten my hopes up too high again. At this rate, things weren’t going to change. I needed a miracle to make things work between me and Billie Joe. I looked up above, and my eyes met a sky full of stars. The stars I had wished and prayed on every night when I was at home. One night I had sat and picked out lucky stars - how sad was I? Sad enough to be that desperate for something to happen and help me. I hadn’t wished upon my stars for a while. I didn’t need to lately, but tonight was going to be the first time since I had come to America. I sat and wished with all my might that Billie Joe would be ok, and that he would be safe and out of harms reach. I wanted him to be ok more than anything in the world. I wished so hard my head started to hurt. It’s really sad and pathetic, I know, but it was my last resort. I had nothing else to help me - only myself and my stars.
* * * * * * * *
It had been an hour since I had come to sit out on the balcony, and it was about half 1 in the morning. I was slowly falling asleep, but I kept myself by going over Green Day lyrics in my head. That’s what I did at school to pass the time in the shitty lessons I had. I looked back down to the hotel entrance, and Billie Joe was still there. God, what was he thinking about?! 2 hours he had been sitting there. Then I suddenly remembered the fact that he had had some sort of mess up with Adrienne. God, poor Billie Joe. I was beginning to worry seriously about him. I looked back down to see him slowly getting up from his resting spot on the steps. I quickly moved forward to peer over the balcony, but not too much so he could see me. He stretched up with his arms and yawned, before scratching his chest and plodding back into the hotel. I sighed a deep sigh of relief - at least he had done the right thing of coming back inside. I shouldn’t have doubted him, but I just had to make sure. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, it was more of the fact that I was looking out for him, making sure he was ok and keeping Tre’s promise and putting my own mind to rest. When it finally looked as if he had come in for good, I let myself go with the tension that was building up inside of me. So much shit had happened today - good and bad. Most of it was bad though. The only good thing that had happened was I had gotten into the final and my quick ‘moment’ with Billie Joe. Even they were forced over with darkness. I couldn’t be in the final now anyways, it was because of that I got beaten up, and my moment with Billie Joe had just caused another argument. Life was being a bitch at the moment to say the least. I slowly closed the door to the balcony once back inside my room, and threw myself onto the bed without even bothering to change. Before I knew it, I was waking up six hours later to find the light streaming through my window and my eyeliner smudged under my eyes.
* * * * * * * *
It had been 2 days after ‘hell day,’ as I had branded it. I was sitting in a praying mantis type style position on the bed, surrounded by chocolates, Green Day CD’s, and magazines the guys had brought me. My CD’s had been mine all along - they weren’t new, except for Insomniac, which Mike had bought me since I had never actually ended up buying it. Tre had brought me a few chocolates and magazines to pass the time, mostly all of which they included articles with Green Day in. Oh yeah, and then there was Billie Joe’s guitar sitting propped up against the side of my bed. He had persuaded me to take part in the final, using his guitar. I didn’t feel right using his guitar, it was too much of an icon to use, but he had insisted I used it.
“Don’t let those bastards grind you down.� He had told me last night when he had handed over his guitar to me. “If you quit out, then they’ll know they’ve gotten to you. Quitting’s not kewl.�
I had tried various times last night on it, but I couldn’t really concentrate. I hadn’t even thought of a song to play, which was kinda worrying. I didn’t tell Billie Joe that though, otherwise it would be more trouble for him, and I didn’t want that. He had enough to think about without worrying about me, I didn’t want a repeat version of ‘hell day.’ I reached over to the cabinet by the side of my bed and grabbed hold of my personal CD player whilst munching through a bag of M and M’s Tre had gotten me. I put in American Idiot to listen to, on full volume. I didn’t care if the volume was going to blow my brains out – It might do me good to have exactly that done to me. It might clear me out in the head. Then maybe I would be able to make more sense of things. I started singing at the top of my voice to American Idiot, air guitaring madly to myself. I also didn’t care that the whole hotel could hear my absurd singing. They didn’t have to listen if they didn’t want to. Nobody was making them. It got to halfway through Jesus of Suburbia, and I started to sing once again loudly at the top of my voice, even if it was starting to hurt. Then it suddenly clicked inside my head. What if I played Jesus of Suburbia at the final? Billie Joe had told me that they were looking for extra talent, something out of the extraordinary. Playing a 9-minute rock opera would definitely earn me some points. A surge of excitement filled me as I yanked the earphones out of my ears and picked up Billie Joe’s guitar. Shit, I didn’t have the tabs for it. I put the guitar back up against the wall, and grabbed the room key before running downstairs to the Internet café. I logged onto my favourite Green Day website, geekstinkbreath.net, (who else?) and logged on under my username for the first time in weeks. I searched under the downloads section hurriedly, searching for The Jesus of Suburbia tabs. I managed to find at least 2 versions of it, quickly printing them off. It looked so fucking hard, but I was determined to learn it within one night, as the final was tomorrow. I quickly logged off before anyone else on the site could question me where I had been for the last month. I didn’t really want to explain where I was or who I was with. If I did, then that would resolve to obsessive emailing from the teenies asking me to hook them up with Billie Joe. I would email my Green Day pals later, explaining where I had been and why I hadn’t been posting any more chapters of my story lately. I couldn’t put up with the teeenie’s constant whining at this moment in time - I had a 9-minute song to learn to play! I grabbed the printed tabs and sprinted back up to my room, kinda excited for the first time about this final audition.
* * * * * * * *
I had been practising for the last 3 hours non-stop, and my wrist was starting to ache from the constant strumming. I had mastered the first 3 parts to the song, constantly practising to keep the chords fresh in my mind. I got up from my spot on the bed and I suddenly got a dose of pins and needles in my right leg because I had been sitting on it. I never sat normal. I limped slightly and picked up the packet of revels Tre had got me. I lay back on my bed and munched slowly on the chocolate, thinking about the audition tomorrow. Thinking back, I was an arsehole to think I wasn’t going to do the audition. I had gotten this far, why would I want to give up? I guess 2 days ago all I was thinking about was myself and not Billie Joe. He had given up so much of his time to help me, I couldn’t help think why. From the start he had offered to help me, and that was within minutes of meeting each other. I didn’t deserve him or his help. The other night had been amazing though. Well, what we had made of it anyway! I thought back to Billie Joe, his kissing, when he had poured his heart out to me, …and the un-doing of his trousers. Then I had to go and spoil it all. I hadn’t done it intentionally though. I wanted to it to happen as much as he did, but I couldn’t lie to him about not doing the audition after all he had done for me. I needed to make things up to him, try and make it all ok again. Now how the hell was I gonna do that? I wasn’t exactly the most thoughtful person around was I? I had upset Billie Joe too many times to remember. I still couldn’t forget the look on his face when we first met and I had started to play Wake Me Up When September Ends. The tears wallowing in his eyes, the pain I had caused. Shit, I had fucked up so badly….
* * * * * * * *
I was desperately searching through my suitcase to find something suitable to wear for the audition tomorrow. All my shit was spread out across the bed and floor in heaps, making the place a shit tip. I then realised I didn’t have anything ‘impressible’ with me – everything was still at home. I hadn’t intended to stay this long. I knew that the only solution was to go out and buy some new clothes. I could do with some anyway. I knew I had a little bit of money left over in my bank, so I suppose buying a few things wouldn’t hurt. I shoved on my battered converse and grabbed my bankcard and hotel room key before plodding down the various sets of hotel stairs. As I ran hurriedly down the stairs, taking flight as I went, I crashed into someone and head butted them hard.
“Aw, fuck.� I groaned, taking a step back and holding my head in pain.
“Fucking hell, what are you? Some kinda bull?� Tre sarcastically cried, rubbing his head too.
“Sorry dude.� I groaned again, closing my eyes to see if it would make the pain any better.
“What the fuck were you doing?� He asked, frowning. “Taking flight?�
“Something like that.� I replied, looking at him and winching.
“Where are you off too anyway, bounding down the stairs like that?� Tre asked, looking at me, still frowning.
“Shopping.� I told him, feeling slightly light headed now.
“What for?�
What was with the questions all of the sudden? Did he have to know all the details? I wanted it to be a surprise what I wore tomorrow – not that it would mean much to them though.
“Clothes.� I replied, before starting to walk back down the stairs again.
“I’ll come with you.� Tre called to me, smiling.
I spun round on the step, looking back up at Tre, trying not to laugh.
“What? You shop with me for girls clothes?� I mocked, smirking.
“I’m full of surprises.� He laughed, cheekily smiling. “Trust me. I’m a pro when it comes to that.�
* * * * * * * *
So me and Tre Cool went shopping. It was kinda weird. He knew exactly where to go and what I was looking for – how did he know this? I didn’t dare ask. We crossed the boulevard and headed into a shop called ‘Tizzard’s Rock,’ passing ‘Amp’s Way’ as we went. (That’s the guitar shop Billie Joe took me into if you’ve forgotten.) They had some strange shop names over here in America. Tre lead me in as if he owned the place as I followed behind.
“Now what do you want?� He asked looking down the different aisles. “Trousers? Shirts? Socks? T-Shirts?�
I looked down the various aisles when suddenly something caught my eye. I shot down the left aisle and headed towards the tie section. Tre followed behind, to find me looking a red and black stripy tie – just like Billie Joe’s.
“Oh, so you wanna tie huh?� He asked, standing behind me.
“Yeah.�
I browsed across the rows and rows of ties, searching for nothing in particular. I came across a white and black polka dot one, which I seemed to fall instantly in love with. I picked it up off of the rack and studied it back and front.
“Do you and Billie Joe have the same dress sense or something?� Tre asked, seeing the tie I’d picked up.
“Wah?� I groaned, not understanding him and not really listening.
“Billie Joe has one like that too. Wait ‘til I tell him that he dresses like a girl.� Tre giggled, thinking about it.
“What’s wrong with that?� I asked, turning to face him. “I’d rather be called a guy than Billie Joe a girl.�
“Alright, alright!� Tre whined, putting his hands up in the air as a defence. “What’s up with you?�
“Nothing.� I replied, picking up the red and black stripy tie I saw earlier.
“Don’t lie.� Tre sternly told me. “I know you when something’s up.�
“Nothing’s wrong.� I repeated, moving on to the shirt section.
“It’s Billie Joe isn’t it?� He asked, smiling kind-heartedly.
“No.�
“Yeah it is. I can tell by the way you’re trying to ignore the subject.�
“I’m not trying to ignore the subject.�
“Then why won’t you tell me?� Tre asked, making me stop to think. If it wasn’t about Billie Joe you would have told me straight away. I am your agony uncle remember?�
I looked up at him and met his pleading puppy dog eyes full on. I just couldn’t resist.
I sighed. Why was everything so difficult when it came to these guys?
“Yeah.� I sighed, admitting defeat. “Yeah, you’re right. It is Billie Joe.�
“I knew it was!� Tre smiled, winning me round. “So, what’s happened now?�
“Nothing’s happened.� I replied, snappy like. “That’s exactly it!�
“So you wanna fuck him?� Tre concluded, cutting to the point.
“No!� I screamed back in surprise.
“You know you wanna!� Tre grinned, nudging me playfully.
“No!� I screamed again. “I mean, no. I don’t wanna…fuck him…but I wanna…you know…not fuck…but…yeah…maybe…I need to...�
I wasn’t making much sense. Wait, let me re-phrase that. I was making NO sense. I couldn’t even understand myself, rambling on like I was!
“You either do or you don’t Stef!� Tre laughed, trying to get the truth out of me.
“I…don’t…know…� I spluttered, not really knowing what to say.
“You don’t know?� Tre repeated, kind of shocked, his eyes widening before heading back down the aisle. “God, help you. �
“I started fiddling with the two ties in my hand, wrapping them around my fingers. I felt so much for Billie Joe. But Tre didn’t understand that I couldn’t just go up to him and fuck him. It wasn’t that simple and things were more complicated then that – as I keep saying. There were feelings involved that were at risk of getting hurt badly. I didn’t want any damage to be done to neither of us.
“We…nearly…the…other night.� I whispered, hesitating because I didn’t know whether I should be telling Tre this or not.
“You what!?� Tre called, turning around suddenly, stunned and silent.
“The…other…night.� I said again, not wanting to tell him fully.
He had an imaginative mind; he could work it out for himself. I’m sure he’d have no trouble in doing so either.
“Wait a sec…� Tre stopped me talking, his voice becoming louder. “When was this?�
“The other night.� I whispered. “After I got beaten up.�
“Whoa! He doesn’t waste time, does he?� Tre laughed in surprise. “I can’t believe this! Billie Joe you little fucker! Was this after I had sent him up to you?!�
“Yeah.� I simply replied, leaving Tre to do all the questioning and opinion making.
“God, do I have that much of an influence on you two? Jeeze. Tre Cool works his magic once again. Well, I do happen to be the master of sex.�
“Can we go now?� I asked, becoming slightly annoyed.
“What?� Tre asked, snapping out of his thoughts suddenly realising I was pissed off. “Oh yeah, sure. But you’re not going to get out of it that easily. I want more answers!�
I made my way slowly to the till, blocking out Tre’s constant accusations on me and Billie Joe. I didn’t want the whole shop to know I had nearly slept with Billie Joe Armstrong, the leader singer and guitarist of only the biggest band in the world, Green Day. I paid for my two ties with the money I had drawn from the bank earlier. The whole time I had Tre standing right behind me asking more questions that I even didn’t know the answers to. We walked out onto the boulevard, the sun blinding us as we stepped out of the shop.
“So, why didn’t ya?!� Tre asked excitedly, running beside me to keep up.
“Do what?� I asked, swinging my shopping bag beside me.
“Fuck Billie Joe?�
“Tre…� I groaned, wishing I had never opened my big mouth once again. “It’s nothing big, ok?!�
“Nothing big?!� Tre wailed, flapping his arms about everywhere like a madman. “You only just happened to almost end up in bed with Billie Joe, who is the front man of Green Day, who has a wife and 2 kids, and who has a whole generation of fans who are in love with him!�
“Now you’re just making me feel bad.� I grunted, wincing from the sunlight as we crossed the sidewalk. “I told you because I thought I could talk to you about it.�
“That’s what we’re doing isn’t it?� Tre asked. “Talking about it.�
“No, you just want to know all the glory details. That’s what it is.� I replied, my patience span decreasing.
“ God, someone needs to smile.� Tre commented, raising his eyebrows.
There was a pause between us as we made our way down the sidewalk.
“So, what are you going to do now? About you and Billie Joe I mean.� Tre asked, actually being serious about it for the first time today, breaking the silence.
“Erm…I don’t know. But I’m trying to think of something.� I told him, sighing, the thoughts turning over in my mind.
“Anything in mind?� He asked softly, walking beside me like a dog and his owner would – never leaving each other’s sides.
“I was hoping to have another talk with him. We tried to the other night, but it turned into something else.� I hesitated, thinking back.
“Oh, I get ya.� Tre smiled slightly, knowing what I meant. “You know, we wont be doing anything tomorrow night after the audition. Maybe you could do something together then?�
“Like what?� I asked sarcastically.
“I don’t know. Even if you just go up to your room, it’s better than nothing.� Tre suggested, hinting slightly.
“You think he will?� I asked, wondering whether to do exactly that.
“He’s done it every other time hasn’t he? There’s no reason why he wouldn’t this time.� Tre assured me, smiling. “He has every reason to. You’ll have something to celebrate as well. A bottle of champagne will definitely put him in a good mood after you win the final tomorrow.�
“Don’t bet on it.� I mocked, sniggering sarcastically.
“I’m being serious.� Tre whined, pleading with his face.
That was funny to hear from Tre, the one who had gone round the shop earlier shouting out that I had nearly fucked Billie Joe.
“There’s no reason why you shouldn’t win. You deserve it after all that’s happened to you. The other kid hasn’t got any talent at all. You’ll do fine.� Tre laughed, putting his hand around my shoulder.
“I hope so Tre.� I groaned, looking back up at him worriedly. “I hope so.�
* * * * * * * *
I set my alarm for 6 in the morning. I didn’t have to be at the studio until 10 for the audition tomorrow, but I wanted to get up early and practise. Not turning up on time would really please the judges now, wouldn’t it? I placed my new ties and pair of black trouser style pants I had bought earlier in their bags on the floor in the corner. I picked up Billie Joe’s guitar and sat with it on my lap for ages, just staring into nothing, thinking about the audition and Billie Joe. A surge of excitement filled through me at the thought of spending some quality time with Billie Joe after the audition. This time, I would make sure there was nothing to stop or distract us. I had had enough of only getting halfway before starting back at the beginning again. I spent the next hour practising The Jesus of Suburbia, my wrist finally giving way after practising 8 times all the way through. I slipped on my Green Day Nimrod hoody and crawled into bed, my eyelids almost closing. I was so tired – I hadn’t been this tired since the day after the night when me and Tre had run from the cops and Mike had had a shit off of my balcony back in the other hotel. That evening was awesome. I had enjoyed every moment of it. That had been the first fun I had had in ages. I laid in bed, still thinking, before reaching out and turning the light off, the room plunging me into darkness for the rest of the night. I suddenly turned it back on in an instant when someone knocked on my door…Billie Joe…
