A Note Don't Come Easy, chapter 34
My bottom lip trembling, and tears collecting up around my eyes, I let the phone slip out of my hand and crash to the floor. Exactly as Billie Joe had done when he had phoned up Tre after finding me sprawled out across the floor after slashing my wrists. I looked down at my bandaged up arms, not knowing what to do. When I had been in danger, all that Billie Joe had done was stay by my side and try anything in his power to make sure that I was ok and safe. Now I wanted to do exactly the same for him, but it seemed impossible. I didn't know where he was and worse, HOW he was.
Was he dead? Was he injured? Or just trapped up in the traffic?
I had to know. I had to do something to prevent myself from fearing the worse. I wasn't going to give up easily on him. He deserved everything that I could give him and more.
In a sudden movement I swooped my arm down and picked the phone back up, pressing it to my ear again.
"Mike, where are you?"
"Oh, don't worry about me." He told me. "I'm fine at the studios here. I don't see how Billie Joe got trapped up in it all. Or Tre."
"Tre?" I blurted out, feeling my stomach lurch.
"Yeah, I don't know where he is either. But I have contact with him. He's fine. It's just Billie Joe I'm more worried about. There's no way of getting hold of him."
"So Tre's ok?"
"Yeah, he's fine from what I can gather. Just a bit worried about the whole thing ya' know?"
"What studios is it?" I asked, totally ignoring what he had just said.
I had only one thing in mind right now.
And that was to find them, all of them and make sure that they were all safe and sound. It would be dangerous, I knew - but what else could I do? Sit around and get myself more worked up than I already was? It was stupid to, plus I would rather concentrate on something. Give me something to focus on instead of let my mind slip everywhere.
"Oh the erm... Arthem studios in town. Why?"
I bit my lip, thinking this through one more time and reciting the name in my head. I didn't answer him.
"Why?" He asked again when I kept quiet.
"Never mind."
I refused to tell him what I was going to do.
"No!" He suddenly yelled out to me. "No Stef! Don't even think about it! Don't you dare, you've just come out of hospital, you're still ill! What would Billie Joe say? He wouldn't want you to do it! It's too dangerous for you! Stef? Stef are you listening? Stef? Are you li --"
I put the phone back onto its base, cutting Mike off and not saying anything to him. I knew he would be like that. That's why I hadn't mentioned anything. But Mike was too smart to trick. I should know him by now. But then again, I should know Billie Joe by now and yet I didn't. He would always surprise me with certain actions or decisions or things that he said. I scrambled about, quickly turning off the tube and grabbing my room key, as well as some loose chance that was hidden in the bedside table draw from a while ago that I had hidden there. And then I ran down the stairwell, despite that was still feeling rough - because all that mattered at the moment was Billie Joe.
Billie Joe was the only thing that ever mattered.
* * * * * * * *
"How much will it take for you to get to Arthem Studios?"
"What now?" The taxi driver inquired, frowning up at me as I learnt through his window. "It's chaos in town! Absolute mental."
"I know, that's why I need to go."
"Hey, wait a minute," he said suspiciously. "You ain't running away from the attacks are you?"
I looked at him, a little taken back. I couldn't even kill myself, I had tried and failed. So I don't know how I was to be suspected a terrorist. I screwed my face up at him.
"No! Look, someone I know is in there, and I have to find them. Make sure they're ok."
"It's too risky."
I bit the inside of my cheek in frustration, feeling the urge to smack him because he didn't understand.
"Do you have a wife?"
"None of your bloody business!" He grunted at me, looking me over.
"Do you have a wife?!" I sternly asked him again, hitting the taxi roof with my fist as I leaned against it.
"Alright! Calm down missy!" He scorned. "Yes I do. So what's it to you?"
"What would you do if it was your wife in there?"
He looked at me in disgust, wondering why the hell I was asking him all of this.
"I don't know." He simply said.
"Think about it. You would try anything in your power to go in there and save her wouldn't you? You would run in there without even thinking, just to find her and make sure she's safe. To know that she hasn't fallen victim to something as terrifying and sickening as this. You would just want to know that she's safe wouldn't you?"
Tears choked me back as I waited for him to answer.
"Yeah, yeah I guess I would." He replied thoughtful, thinking it through.
"Well, that's what it's like for me."
He looked up at me, before looking away again on a guilty conscience as I started to cry.
"My, my erm... boyfriend is in there. I've got to see that he's ok. And if he's in trouble, I have to find him. And if it's bad... then, then I want to say goodbye."
He knitted his brow, one hand clamped on the steering wheel.
"I would, but it's security orders to not go into the city." He tried to explain, a little more understanding.
"Please, you don't even have to drop me off right at the studios. Anywhere in the town or near. Please, I'm begging you. Just go as far as you can and I'll get out. Please... I love him."
He looked at me one more time, the words 'I love him' sinking through his mind.
"Go on, get in. But I'm not making any promises."
A smile suddenly appearing on my face for a few seconds, I opened up the back door and hopped in.
"Thank you so much."
"But if I have to stop, I have to stop ok?"
I whisked my seat belt over me. "Totally."
As he turned the corner, I watched out of the back window as the hotel reared out of view. I took a deep sigh, my smile fading as I thought about what I was actually letting myself in for.
* * * * * * * *
"How far are we?" I asked, leaning forward as we stayed caught in traffic.
It hadn't been long since we had left, but the taxi hadn't moved much either. We were constantly caught amongst the mess of other vehicles, struggling and hardly being able to move.
"We still got a while." He told me, looking at his watch. "It's awful. I've never seen it like this before."
I took his note into account, sitting back against the back seat and looking out the window.
The sky was still a nasty grey, almost a darkening black. The air was hazy, and fell heavily upon us - making my head feel slightly dizzy.
Suddenly, a patch of grey caught my eye in the sky. That wasn't the sky or the weather - but thick black smoke. My heart lurched as I continued to look at it, a morbid fascination.
"Oh, Holy shit... " the taxi driver groaned as we turned the corner and got a view of it for the first time.
My senses alerted as sirens suddenly filled around us, lights flashing in all directions and the light bouncing off of our faces and the vehicle. I gulped as I looked ahead; smoke billowing into the sky, a once standing building now crumbled in a pile of rubble ahead.
Everything was destroyed. Bits of rubble and debris scattered across the boulevard and highway. Vehicles stationary at the sidewalk, their doors open from where people had jumped out and ran for their lives.
Billie Joe.
Where was Billie Joe? Where was he?
I had to find him. I couldn't bear to think that he was here, and that he had been around whilst the attack had taken place. I started to panic, propping myself up and looking around out of the back windows, trying to see if I could spot him in another vehicle. I looked around forever, scanning all the windows of the vehicles. I wanted him to be in one of them so much that I believed that he would be. Much to my disappointment, he wasn't.
"I can't go on." The driver called back to me, a little scared. "There's no way. You've got to get out."
I turned to face him as he looked at me through the driving mirror. "Go on."
"How much is it?" I asked quickly, shuffling into my pocket and pulling out some money.
"Don't worry about. Just go, go on. Before you miss your chance."
I quickly moved across the back seat, taking off my seat belt and opening the door.
"Thank you."
"Good luck kid."
Why did he call me kid? It just reminded me of Billie Joe.
Billie Joe. Billie Joe. I had to find him. Now.
I scrambled out into the mass of cars, my eyes meeting the drivers and passengers as they watched me. They must have thought I was crazy. But that's what I was.
Crazy in love.
* * * * * * * *
I weaved in and out of the vehicles, sometimes holding onto them and pushing through the tiniest of gaps, much to the drivers' disgusts. I looked into every one of them, hoping to see Billie Joe in the back of one of them. But still there was no sign of the punk rocker and I was getting frustrated. I had to find Arthem Studios. Maybe he had found his way there safely, and was sitting in there comfortably now having his photo taken. Maybe I was over reacting. But you can never over react when something like this happens.
I pulled out from the mass of stationary vehicles, my leg catching on the number plate of one. I stumbled onto the boulevard, everyone who was walking heading in the opposite direction - out of town. I was the only one who was walking INTO the danger zone.
Not knowing where to turn next, I grabbed hold of the nearest person to me, as they scrambled to get away.
"Sir, sir I need your help," I pleaded with the man who's arms I had grabbed hold of.
He desperately tried to carry on walking, dragging me with him.
"No! I can't."
He tried to shrug me off, almost running into a sprint.
"Please, sir. It's really important."
"No! No, just let me go!"
He screamed at me before tugging away, pushing me to the side against the wall.
"I only wanna know what way Arthem Studios is!" I roared back at him, feeling slightly scared and frustrated at the same time.
"Dam." I whispered to myself, watching him run away down the boulevard.
I looked the other way, the sirens still constantly blaring around me. A young lady came running around the corner, quickly dragging her suitcase with her.
"Miss!" I screamed, ready to try again and moving to in front of her. "Miss! Stop, please."
She screamed and panicked as I lent my arms out to grab hold of her, throwing her arms in the air and running past me madly. I watched her too go, so desperate and helpless to do anything. I threw my head against the wall, looking around the empty street. It was like the city was sleeping.
Suddenly, there was another loud explosion from somewhere behind a couple of buildings. Everyone screamed or cursed, as I ducked immediately to find bits of debris flying everywhere. I HAD to find the studios, it was murder staying here. I covered my head with my hands, when a few police officers turned round the corner, yelling at everyone to get out of their vehicles. Almost nearly everyone obeyed, jumping out and running down the boulevard that was empty a minute ago - others having to be dragged out by force because they wouldn't leave their cars. Some screamed, some cried. Others just ran or stood in dumbstruck at what was going on. I just watched as they came swarming past, standing to my feet again. It was horrendous. All I could do was stand and stare.
"Miss," a police officer approached me, panting slightly from running. "You're gonna have to move."
I looked at him before looking up into the sky and in between the two buildings that supported the boulevard. Smoke was everywhere, falling down to the ground and slowly starting to cover up the city. I gulped as burning flames burnt down the city's industry. I looked back at him.
"Miss, I said you're going to have to move."
"Where's Arthem Studios?" I asked suddenly.
"What?"
"Arthem Studios, please tell me."
"Down Golden Boulevard. Now go!" He yelled at me, pointing in the other direction. Then as soon as I heard his words, I joined the others in sprinting down the boulevard, and for the first time, ran AWAY from the city's nightmare.
* * * * * * * *
"Mike!" I screamed in the hangout doorway, holding my side as I wheezed for air.
He shot his head in my direction, turning away from watching the tube that was in front of him. He was slumped on a wooden chair, his hands clasped around his jaw line as fists.
He jumped off of the chair, and ran towards me, taking me in his arms and hugging me tight. So tight it was a job to breathe.
I had bruised my face slightly from some falling debris, as well as doting a graze under my eye and across the bridge of my nose and a split lip - my hands also covered in tiny little scratches. But I had been lucky. Especially considering that I had chosen to run right into the danger.
"Thank fuck you're alright." He whispered to me, moving his arm up and down my back in comfort. "Thank fuck."
He pulled away and looked into my eyes, still holding tight of me as if I was about to be snatched away from him any minute now.
"Don't you ever do that again! You scared the fucking shit out of me."
I looked back at him, biting my lip and tears re-surfacing. His mood changed though.
"But I'm just glad you're alright."
He brought me close to him again and hugged me tight. He sighed, taking me to his chair and sitting me down.
"How'd you get down here?"
"Taxi," I replied, "But I had to get out halfway and walk. It's awful Mike. It really is. I was behind one of the explosions, it's horrible. I've never seen anything like it. I never want to experience that again."
I gulped before looking up at him as he stood behind the chair and me.
"Have... have you heard from Billie Joe?"
"No." He whispered, looking at the ground and biting his lip.
"Tre?"
"No."
I continued to look up at him, hoping that he would come up with a solution. He always did - but even this was too much for him to take. He looked into my eyes, not knowing how to say things. He was just as scared as I was.
"Mike, what are we going to do?" I whimpered.
"There's nothing we can do Stef. Just sit and wait."
But that was what was killing me. Waiting.
Waiting for something to happen.
* * * * * * * *
It had been at least an hour since I had arrived at the studios, and it was still just the two of us. To say we were worried was an understatement. Several times Mike had tried to contact Tre, but all cell signals had been cut off, as the power source was within the city. The time when people needed to contact each other the most, and they couldn't. It was so frustrating. The suspense was killing me so much. All I kept thinking about was Billie Joe, out there amongst it all and trying to save himself. Trying to wretch himself free from one of the things he hated the most - war.
There was a loud bang, which made both of us jump out of our skin and nervously look around, our eyes meeting at a gaze somewhere in between. It was only us and a few of the crew around, yet they were in the office on their own watching the tube. We both looked up, waiting for the ceiling to cave in on us. As much as it felt safer in the building, we were just at the same risk as I had been whilst outside. The only difference was that both Mike and I had each other now, and that made things a little better.
There was another clatter as I turned to look at the hangout doorway, to see a familiar figure standing there, brushing himself down. My heart did a summersault, but it wasn't the person I thought it was.
"Tre!" I yelled out, grabbing Mike's attention and causing him to look in the same direction.
"Tre buddy!"
I lunged off of the chair and ran towards the drummer, wanting to hold him tight and thanking god for letting him be safe. I flung my arms around him, holding onto him tight like a child would do to a long lost father.
"Hey," he whispered to me. "What are you doing here? I thought you were meant to be back at the hotel resting? And safe?"
"She WAS." Mike told him approaching us, in a certain tone.
He looked down on me as he continued to hug me, placing his hand on the top of my head.
"Well, at least she's ok now."
"I would rather be with you here, than on my own in the hotel and not knowing what I had to do. What if we had to evacuate? I would have been so scared, I would have shit myself. At least we're all together here."
And then I realised what I had said. We WEREN'T all together.
Billie Joe was still out there.
"She has got a point." Tre agreed, shrugging his shoulders.
"Are you ok though?" I looked up at him in his arms too.
"Yeah I'm fine. Don't know about Billie though."
Mike glared at him. "Shut up Tre," he whispered to his friend before pointing at me.
"Don't hide it from me Mike." I sighed sadly, turning to face him. "I'd just rather know the truth. I don't want to be lied to. I've had that done to me too many times."
He looked at me profound, a little sad, but more worried than anything.
"I'm sure he's fine." Tre assured me, drawing me into another one of his hugs.
All I wanted was for him to walk through those doors, and everything would be ok. He just had to be ok. I had to see him again, tell him how sorry I was for what I had done. It didn't matter so much if he never wanted to talk to me again, but he had to know how sorry I was and he deserved to know.
I looked back up at Tre, teary and feeling so lost.
"But that's the thing." I muttered. "We don't know."
Was he dead? Was he injured? Or just trapped up in the traffic?
I had to know. I had to do something to prevent myself from fearing the worse. I wasn't going to give up easily on him. He deserved everything that I could give him and more.
In a sudden movement I swooped my arm down and picked the phone back up, pressing it to my ear again.
"Mike, where are you?"
"Oh, don't worry about me." He told me. "I'm fine at the studios here. I don't see how Billie Joe got trapped up in it all. Or Tre."
"Tre?" I blurted out, feeling my stomach lurch.
"Yeah, I don't know where he is either. But I have contact with him. He's fine. It's just Billie Joe I'm more worried about. There's no way of getting hold of him."
"So Tre's ok?"
"Yeah, he's fine from what I can gather. Just a bit worried about the whole thing ya' know?"
"What studios is it?" I asked, totally ignoring what he had just said.
I had only one thing in mind right now.
And that was to find them, all of them and make sure that they were all safe and sound. It would be dangerous, I knew - but what else could I do? Sit around and get myself more worked up than I already was? It was stupid to, plus I would rather concentrate on something. Give me something to focus on instead of let my mind slip everywhere.
"Oh the erm... Arthem studios in town. Why?"
I bit my lip, thinking this through one more time and reciting the name in my head. I didn't answer him.
"Why?" He asked again when I kept quiet.
"Never mind."
I refused to tell him what I was going to do.
"No!" He suddenly yelled out to me. "No Stef! Don't even think about it! Don't you dare, you've just come out of hospital, you're still ill! What would Billie Joe say? He wouldn't want you to do it! It's too dangerous for you! Stef? Stef are you listening? Stef? Are you li --"
I put the phone back onto its base, cutting Mike off and not saying anything to him. I knew he would be like that. That's why I hadn't mentioned anything. But Mike was too smart to trick. I should know him by now. But then again, I should know Billie Joe by now and yet I didn't. He would always surprise me with certain actions or decisions or things that he said. I scrambled about, quickly turning off the tube and grabbing my room key, as well as some loose chance that was hidden in the bedside table draw from a while ago that I had hidden there. And then I ran down the stairwell, despite that was still feeling rough - because all that mattered at the moment was Billie Joe.
Billie Joe was the only thing that ever mattered.
* * * * * * * *
"How much will it take for you to get to Arthem Studios?"
"What now?" The taxi driver inquired, frowning up at me as I learnt through his window. "It's chaos in town! Absolute mental."
"I know, that's why I need to go."
"Hey, wait a minute," he said suspiciously. "You ain't running away from the attacks are you?"
I looked at him, a little taken back. I couldn't even kill myself, I had tried and failed. So I don't know how I was to be suspected a terrorist. I screwed my face up at him.
"No! Look, someone I know is in there, and I have to find them. Make sure they're ok."
"It's too risky."
I bit the inside of my cheek in frustration, feeling the urge to smack him because he didn't understand.
"Do you have a wife?"
"None of your bloody business!" He grunted at me, looking me over.
"Do you have a wife?!" I sternly asked him again, hitting the taxi roof with my fist as I leaned against it.
"Alright! Calm down missy!" He scorned. "Yes I do. So what's it to you?"
"What would you do if it was your wife in there?"
He looked at me in disgust, wondering why the hell I was asking him all of this.
"I don't know." He simply said.
"Think about it. You would try anything in your power to go in there and save her wouldn't you? You would run in there without even thinking, just to find her and make sure she's safe. To know that she hasn't fallen victim to something as terrifying and sickening as this. You would just want to know that she's safe wouldn't you?"
Tears choked me back as I waited for him to answer.
"Yeah, yeah I guess I would." He replied thoughtful, thinking it through.
"Well, that's what it's like for me."
He looked up at me, before looking away again on a guilty conscience as I started to cry.
"My, my erm... boyfriend is in there. I've got to see that he's ok. And if he's in trouble, I have to find him. And if it's bad... then, then I want to say goodbye."
He knitted his brow, one hand clamped on the steering wheel.
"I would, but it's security orders to not go into the city." He tried to explain, a little more understanding.
"Please, you don't even have to drop me off right at the studios. Anywhere in the town or near. Please, I'm begging you. Just go as far as you can and I'll get out. Please... I love him."
He looked at me one more time, the words 'I love him' sinking through his mind.
"Go on, get in. But I'm not making any promises."
A smile suddenly appearing on my face for a few seconds, I opened up the back door and hopped in.
"Thank you so much."
"But if I have to stop, I have to stop ok?"
I whisked my seat belt over me. "Totally."
As he turned the corner, I watched out of the back window as the hotel reared out of view. I took a deep sigh, my smile fading as I thought about what I was actually letting myself in for.
* * * * * * * *
"How far are we?" I asked, leaning forward as we stayed caught in traffic.
It hadn't been long since we had left, but the taxi hadn't moved much either. We were constantly caught amongst the mess of other vehicles, struggling and hardly being able to move.
"We still got a while." He told me, looking at his watch. "It's awful. I've never seen it like this before."
I took his note into account, sitting back against the back seat and looking out the window.
The sky was still a nasty grey, almost a darkening black. The air was hazy, and fell heavily upon us - making my head feel slightly dizzy.
Suddenly, a patch of grey caught my eye in the sky. That wasn't the sky or the weather - but thick black smoke. My heart lurched as I continued to look at it, a morbid fascination.
"Oh, Holy shit... " the taxi driver groaned as we turned the corner and got a view of it for the first time.
My senses alerted as sirens suddenly filled around us, lights flashing in all directions and the light bouncing off of our faces and the vehicle. I gulped as I looked ahead; smoke billowing into the sky, a once standing building now crumbled in a pile of rubble ahead.
Everything was destroyed. Bits of rubble and debris scattered across the boulevard and highway. Vehicles stationary at the sidewalk, their doors open from where people had jumped out and ran for their lives.
Billie Joe.
Where was Billie Joe? Where was he?
I had to find him. I couldn't bear to think that he was here, and that he had been around whilst the attack had taken place. I started to panic, propping myself up and looking around out of the back windows, trying to see if I could spot him in another vehicle. I looked around forever, scanning all the windows of the vehicles. I wanted him to be in one of them so much that I believed that he would be. Much to my disappointment, he wasn't.
"I can't go on." The driver called back to me, a little scared. "There's no way. You've got to get out."
I turned to face him as he looked at me through the driving mirror. "Go on."
"How much is it?" I asked quickly, shuffling into my pocket and pulling out some money.
"Don't worry about. Just go, go on. Before you miss your chance."
I quickly moved across the back seat, taking off my seat belt and opening the door.
"Thank you."
"Good luck kid."
Why did he call me kid? It just reminded me of Billie Joe.
Billie Joe. Billie Joe. I had to find him. Now.
I scrambled out into the mass of cars, my eyes meeting the drivers and passengers as they watched me. They must have thought I was crazy. But that's what I was.
Crazy in love.
* * * * * * * *
I weaved in and out of the vehicles, sometimes holding onto them and pushing through the tiniest of gaps, much to the drivers' disgusts. I looked into every one of them, hoping to see Billie Joe in the back of one of them. But still there was no sign of the punk rocker and I was getting frustrated. I had to find Arthem Studios. Maybe he had found his way there safely, and was sitting in there comfortably now having his photo taken. Maybe I was over reacting. But you can never over react when something like this happens.
I pulled out from the mass of stationary vehicles, my leg catching on the number plate of one. I stumbled onto the boulevard, everyone who was walking heading in the opposite direction - out of town. I was the only one who was walking INTO the danger zone.
Not knowing where to turn next, I grabbed hold of the nearest person to me, as they scrambled to get away.
"Sir, sir I need your help," I pleaded with the man who's arms I had grabbed hold of.
He desperately tried to carry on walking, dragging me with him.
"No! I can't."
He tried to shrug me off, almost running into a sprint.
"Please, sir. It's really important."
"No! No, just let me go!"
He screamed at me before tugging away, pushing me to the side against the wall.
"I only wanna know what way Arthem Studios is!" I roared back at him, feeling slightly scared and frustrated at the same time.
"Dam." I whispered to myself, watching him run away down the boulevard.
I looked the other way, the sirens still constantly blaring around me. A young lady came running around the corner, quickly dragging her suitcase with her.
"Miss!" I screamed, ready to try again and moving to in front of her. "Miss! Stop, please."
She screamed and panicked as I lent my arms out to grab hold of her, throwing her arms in the air and running past me madly. I watched her too go, so desperate and helpless to do anything. I threw my head against the wall, looking around the empty street. It was like the city was sleeping.
Suddenly, there was another loud explosion from somewhere behind a couple of buildings. Everyone screamed or cursed, as I ducked immediately to find bits of debris flying everywhere. I HAD to find the studios, it was murder staying here. I covered my head with my hands, when a few police officers turned round the corner, yelling at everyone to get out of their vehicles. Almost nearly everyone obeyed, jumping out and running down the boulevard that was empty a minute ago - others having to be dragged out by force because they wouldn't leave their cars. Some screamed, some cried. Others just ran or stood in dumbstruck at what was going on. I just watched as they came swarming past, standing to my feet again. It was horrendous. All I could do was stand and stare.
"Miss," a police officer approached me, panting slightly from running. "You're gonna have to move."
I looked at him before looking up into the sky and in between the two buildings that supported the boulevard. Smoke was everywhere, falling down to the ground and slowly starting to cover up the city. I gulped as burning flames burnt down the city's industry. I looked back at him.
"Miss, I said you're going to have to move."
"Where's Arthem Studios?" I asked suddenly.
"What?"
"Arthem Studios, please tell me."
"Down Golden Boulevard. Now go!" He yelled at me, pointing in the other direction. Then as soon as I heard his words, I joined the others in sprinting down the boulevard, and for the first time, ran AWAY from the city's nightmare.
* * * * * * * *
"Mike!" I screamed in the hangout doorway, holding my side as I wheezed for air.
He shot his head in my direction, turning away from watching the tube that was in front of him. He was slumped on a wooden chair, his hands clasped around his jaw line as fists.
He jumped off of the chair, and ran towards me, taking me in his arms and hugging me tight. So tight it was a job to breathe.
I had bruised my face slightly from some falling debris, as well as doting a graze under my eye and across the bridge of my nose and a split lip - my hands also covered in tiny little scratches. But I had been lucky. Especially considering that I had chosen to run right into the danger.
"Thank fuck you're alright." He whispered to me, moving his arm up and down my back in comfort. "Thank fuck."
He pulled away and looked into my eyes, still holding tight of me as if I was about to be snatched away from him any minute now.
"Don't you ever do that again! You scared the fucking shit out of me."
I looked back at him, biting my lip and tears re-surfacing. His mood changed though.
"But I'm just glad you're alright."
He brought me close to him again and hugged me tight. He sighed, taking me to his chair and sitting me down.
"How'd you get down here?"
"Taxi," I replied, "But I had to get out halfway and walk. It's awful Mike. It really is. I was behind one of the explosions, it's horrible. I've never seen anything like it. I never want to experience that again."
I gulped before looking up at him as he stood behind the chair and me.
"Have... have you heard from Billie Joe?"
"No." He whispered, looking at the ground and biting his lip.
"Tre?"
"No."
I continued to look up at him, hoping that he would come up with a solution. He always did - but even this was too much for him to take. He looked into my eyes, not knowing how to say things. He was just as scared as I was.
"Mike, what are we going to do?" I whimpered.
"There's nothing we can do Stef. Just sit and wait."
But that was what was killing me. Waiting.
Waiting for something to happen.
* * * * * * * *
It had been at least an hour since I had arrived at the studios, and it was still just the two of us. To say we were worried was an understatement. Several times Mike had tried to contact Tre, but all cell signals had been cut off, as the power source was within the city. The time when people needed to contact each other the most, and they couldn't. It was so frustrating. The suspense was killing me so much. All I kept thinking about was Billie Joe, out there amongst it all and trying to save himself. Trying to wretch himself free from one of the things he hated the most - war.
There was a loud bang, which made both of us jump out of our skin and nervously look around, our eyes meeting at a gaze somewhere in between. It was only us and a few of the crew around, yet they were in the office on their own watching the tube. We both looked up, waiting for the ceiling to cave in on us. As much as it felt safer in the building, we were just at the same risk as I had been whilst outside. The only difference was that both Mike and I had each other now, and that made things a little better.
There was another clatter as I turned to look at the hangout doorway, to see a familiar figure standing there, brushing himself down. My heart did a summersault, but it wasn't the person I thought it was.
"Tre!" I yelled out, grabbing Mike's attention and causing him to look in the same direction.
"Tre buddy!"
I lunged off of the chair and ran towards the drummer, wanting to hold him tight and thanking god for letting him be safe. I flung my arms around him, holding onto him tight like a child would do to a long lost father.
"Hey," he whispered to me. "What are you doing here? I thought you were meant to be back at the hotel resting? And safe?"
"She WAS." Mike told him approaching us, in a certain tone.
He looked down on me as he continued to hug me, placing his hand on the top of my head.
"Well, at least she's ok now."
"I would rather be with you here, than on my own in the hotel and not knowing what I had to do. What if we had to evacuate? I would have been so scared, I would have shit myself. At least we're all together here."
And then I realised what I had said. We WEREN'T all together.
Billie Joe was still out there.
"She has got a point." Tre agreed, shrugging his shoulders.
"Are you ok though?" I looked up at him in his arms too.
"Yeah I'm fine. Don't know about Billie though."
Mike glared at him. "Shut up Tre," he whispered to his friend before pointing at me.
"Don't hide it from me Mike." I sighed sadly, turning to face him. "I'd just rather know the truth. I don't want to be lied to. I've had that done to me too many times."
He looked at me profound, a little sad, but more worried than anything.
"I'm sure he's fine." Tre assured me, drawing me into another one of his hugs.
All I wanted was for him to walk through those doors, and everything would be ok. He just had to be ok. I had to see him again, tell him how sorry I was for what I had done. It didn't matter so much if he never wanted to talk to me again, but he had to know how sorry I was and he deserved to know.
I looked back up at Tre, teary and feeling so lost.
"But that's the thing." I muttered. "We don't know."
