A Note Don't Come Easy, chapter 39
Overall, Mike was pretty kewl about the whole thing, which was a relief to both me and Billie Joe. He told us he had seen it coming for a while, he just hadn't been planning on hearing it first thing in the morning whilst sipping on his coffee. But I could have murdered Tre.
We walked through the city together, well, what was left of it anyway. Everything was still either shut down or destroyed. We didn't go far on Billie Joe's behalf, because since he hadn't talked much yesterday to as what really happened, we didn't know what surroundings would set him off.
We stuck close to the hotel for both Billie's sake and for Green Day's. They didn't want to be greeted by fans right now. It just wasn't the time or place.
Walking in a cluster down the boulevard, we mostly walked in silence.
Billie Joe sighed to himself, hanging his head before shoving his hands in his front pockets.
"Guys," he started. "I'm going away for a few days."
Tre and Mike stopped to stand and look at him. I stopped too, as Billie turned around to face us all.
"You're going away?" Tre asked raising his eyebrow. "Where?"
Billie Joe looked at me, as I knew exactly what he was talking about. I nodded a little to him, edging him to tell them - and to show that I was here to support him and as well as understand how hard it was for him to tell them.
"I'm going home."
Tre cocked his head to one side, still not understanding why he suddenly wanted to go home. But Mike somehow understood.
"But, why? For how long?" Tre questioned.
"Just for two days. I'm catching a plane tonight and I'll back by Thursday."
"But why Billie? Why?"
Billie Joe shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess to sort things out with Adrienne. I've got to tell her sometime about what happened to me yesterday. Plus, I want to see my boys again. I haven't seen them for what seems like ages and... I miss them."
It made me a little sad to see him talk about his boys and much he missed them. It just made me feel guiltier towards the fact that I had slept with their dad.
"But what about Stef? What about us?" Tre asked again curious.
Billie smiled to himself.
"You'll be fine. You've lasted without me before haven't you? And that's why it's your job to look after Stef whilst I'm away."
He looked at me, smiling sweetly as Tre tried to understand things from Billie's point of view.
"I'm proud of you." Mike called to him.
We all turned to look Mike, Billie shooting his head up to stare right into his best friend's eyes. And it seemed to make him a bit tearful.
"I'm proud of you for standing up to your responsibilities."
Again, Billie just shrugged his shoulders with nothing to say back.
"I guess it's about time I did." He replied, sighing a little before running his hand through his dishevelled hair. "Got to do it sometime, haven't I?"
Mike nodded in approval before Tre looked up at Billie, before opening his mouth to speak.
"It's gonna be weird without you."
* * * * * * * *
I sat perched on the edge of my bed in my room, crossed legged and watching Billie Joe in front of me, who was sitting on a chair in front of the desk with the phone pressed gently against his ear.
I looked down at my wrists that were in my lap, studying the scars that were slowly starting to heal. Looking at them from every angle, I took in how the scar tissue seemed to be slowly making an appearance across my skin.
I looked back up at Billie, as watching my mistakes for too long just made me depressed. It made me smile as I watched him, biting his lip and sticking out his tongue every here and there as he took down information on a small piece of paper with a hotel advertisement pen.
"Uh-huh," he would reply every so often as he took down more notes.
"Ok, so that's... At 9 tonight... Terminal 2... Gate 32... "
He cocked his head to one side as he listened to the other person on the end of the phone.
"Ok... And that's half an hour before take off?" He pondered, licking his bottom lip as he swung round on the chair. "Ok... Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, bye...."
He put the phone down and sighed deeply, turning round to face me to see me smiling at him.
"What?" He asked laughing.
"You look cute when you're on the phone." I told him, continuing to smile.
A smile spread across his own face as he put his finger to his chin in thought.
"Ok, so when else am I cute then?" He asked flirting a little.
"Well... " I thought, pouting. "Do you want the short list or the long?"
He light heartedly laughed. "Ok, put it this way then. When am I NOT cute?"
"Precisely." I concluded, nodding my head in agreement. "You're never not cute."
I got up off the edge of the bed and walked towards him, slipping my hands onto his shoulders as I stood against him as he sat on the chair still.
"It's going to be weird without you."
"I know," he replied, blinking slowly from lack of sleep.
"Ever since I met you, I've seen you almost everyday or at least spoken to you."
It was only going to be 2 days, but it seemed so long to be apart from him.
"Yeah, it's going to be... Weird." He spoke, not knowing how to word the situation.
There was an awkward silence between us before I decided to break it.
"So what time are you leaving?"
"Hmm... About 7:30. My flight's at 9."
I nodded in acknowledgement, sighing.
"You all packed up then?"
"Nah, don't need to take anything really." He muttered, as I moved off of him. "Just my wallet and passpo -... Oh shit... "
"What?"
"My passport's downstairs."
"I'll go get it for you." I volunteered.
"You sure?" He asked quirking his eyebrow.
"Yeah. I'm sure."
He handed me over his hotel room key from his pocket, before I wandered out of my own room and down the hallway.
* * * * * * * *
I reached the 4th floor at the stairway and headed down the hall, humming to myself as I did. As I reached Billie's room, I found that the door was already open. He'sitating suddenly, I crept into the room, keeping to the wall and poking my head around the corner. I was relieved when I saw who it was though who had intruded the room.
" Mike. Tre."
They both turned around to see me standing there, smiling back at me as they threw their suitcases on the two other beds that weren't Billie's.
"Hey Stef." Tre called out, opening his case up.
"What are you guys doing?"
"Unpacking. What else does it look like?" He responded.
"You've come back?" I wondered. "How come?"
It had been a while since we had all stayed in the same hotel. For some time Mike and Tre had been hiding in another hotel somewhere ever since the police had come looking for us for the second time running.
Tre shrugged his shoulders.
"Billie's orders."
I stood and thought for a moment. "Billie Joe told you to come back?"
"That's what he said."
Why had Billie made them come back? Did he want us to all be together again? Or was he leaving them to watch me all the time whilst he was gone? I had to ask him. I didn't want to think that he had gone through all the trouble of sending them here just to look after me.
Then I suddenly remembered what I had actually come down here for.
"Where's Billie's passport?" I asked, trying to put my concerns into the back of my head.
"I dunno, try in the top draw over there," Tre pointed to a draw as he continued to pull belongings from his suitcase.
I walked over to the draw and opened it up, rummaging around to find his passport.
* * * * * * * *
I handed over to him his passport as he looked round to see me walk back into the room.
"Ah, thanks kid." He thanked relived, taking it off of me.
He turned his back on me, bending down to do his shoelace up as I crossed my arms a little annoyed.
"I see Mike and Tre have moved back in."
He stopped suddenly, like he had been caught out. He clenched his teeth together behind his back.
"Yeah... "
There was an awkward silence as he stood up and turned to face me.
"I don't mind them staying to look after me Billie, it's just the fact that you have to keep it a secret behind my back that makes me think you can't always trust me."
"No, no, no." Billie cried. "I DO trust you. It's not that at all."
He walked up towards me and placed his hands on either side of my face, cupping my jaw line.
He sighed. "It's not you that I don't trust, it's other people. No one else out there knows how much you mean to me, so they don't know what they would be doing if they tried to harm you. I just can't bear the thought of something happening to you whilst I'm gone. At least you have Mike and Tre here for you if you DID need someone. I'm only trying to protect you... "
"I can look after myself you know... "
"I know you can babe, I know you can." He pulled me in to give me a hug. "I'm not saying you can't. I just can't loose you again. It's too much of a risk. If something else happened to you, well... I just don't know what I would do."
I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight, as I knew it would be hard for me to see him go later today.
"And I don't want you to think that because I'm going back home for a few days that I'll come back and regret everything that's happened between us. Because I'm not. I don't want you to think that because I'm going to see Adrienne again that I'm going to stop loving you. Because I won't. It's a difficult situation, I know, and I'm bad for putting both of us in it in the first place, because someone's going to get hurt some day when they find out. If they find out. And I'll do my best at making sure no one does. I still love you and always will."
I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck.
"You're not bad Billie. You just fell in love. Nobody can stop that from happening."
I felt him swallow back.
"I know. No one can stop it."
"And it was my decision that you went back home for a few days, so don't blame yourself for anything. If you have to blame anyone - blame me."
"I don't blame you for anything Stef. Everything has been my fault."
I looked up at him. "What? So you being caught up in a terror attack was your fault?"
"Yeah. If I hadn't stopped to get flowers then I would have been ok."
"And that's because of me, because I had cut myself and was in hospital. Now that IS my fault."
He shook his head. "Nope that's my fault too."
I raised my eyebrow. "Now you're just making yourself feel bad."
He laughed to himself, drawing me back in for another hug as he wrapped his arms around my back. "You know what? Every day I always fall in love with you even more."
"Billie, that happened to me a long time ago. Now I'm in love. And I have been for a long time."
* * * * * * * *
All four of us cramped into the back of Mike's hired car from the hotel, the sky darkening as the day grew into evening. It was 10 to 8 and I knew that in a few minutes he would be gone.
Both Billie and I sat in the back of the vehicle as Mike drove us to the airport, Tre sitting in the front passengers seat.
Tre and Mike talked amongst each other in the front seats, discussing something that I couldn't really work out as I wasn't listening. I stared out of my window, trying so hard not to feel sad about Billie leaving. Yes, it was only a few days, but it was the first time he was going to be gone since we had met.
We both sat in silence, Billie hanging his head low in discomfort as his hand rested upon mine gently between us on the car seats.
I sighed deeply, watching the vehicles pass us on the highway. I slowly turned my head around to face him, making him look back up at me. He smiled bleakly but we both knew it was going to be hard saying goodbye.
It's only 2 days. It's only 2 days.
2 days. 2 whole days without him.
It's only 2 days. It's only 2 days.
2 days. 2 whole days without her.
"It'll be ok." He whispered to me, stroking my hand.
I looked into his eyes and nodded a little, trying my best not to cry or feel sad. But I just couldn't do it.
To my surprise, the car stopped and pulled up to the sidewalk that was outside the entrance to the airport. I looked out of the window and my heart lurched. I wasn't expecting for us to get here this quick. I looked back at Billie, my eyes pleading - but he had to go. It had been MY idea for him to go. Billie swallowed, getting ready to jump out of the car. He took off his seatbelt and looked at both Mike and Tre, who had turned round in their seats to face him. He took in a deep breath.
"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you guys in a couple of days then."
Tre nodded as Billie lent forward and hugged him around the upper part of his body, kissing him on the cheek as he did.
"Good luck man." The drummer said, smiling to his friend as he patted him on the back.
Billie turned to the other side of Tre and hugged Mike tight, leaning forward and whispering into his ear;
"Look after her for me please."
Mike smiled back at him. "I will. Don't worry. And I'm proud of you for doing this."
Billie Joe felt a little more relived knowing Mike would look after me, but he still felt weary.
He finally turned to face me, cupping my face with his hands again.
"Stef, I want you to promise me something."
I gulped a little, trying to choke back the tears.
"When I go," he continued. "You must not follow me, you can't get out of this car. Even if it's the thing you want to do the most. You must NOT get out. Do you promise me?"
I let a tear roll down my cheek as I felt my bottom lip tremble. "But Billie... "
"No... " he whispered, wiping away my tear with his thumb gently. "You mustn't. Do you promise me?"
I nodded feeling defeated, letting another tear appear.
"Good girl. Good girl... " he lent in and held me tight and I flung my arms around his neck.
He kissed my neck lightly as he whispered softly to me, making me shiver.
"I love you so much Stef. And everyday I'll think about you. And I'll miss you so much... "
"Me too... " I whimpered, inhaling his scent. "I love you Billie."
"Billie... " Mike he'sitated watching us, without wanting to interrupt. "You'll miss your flight... "
He pulled away from me, wiping his eyes. "Ok... Ok, I'll go."
He lent forward and kissed me on the lips softly, before turning around and opening the car door.
"I'll see you guys in a couple of days," he called out, jumping out and shutting the door.
"Billie!" I cried out in sadness as I watched him go, pressing my face against the window.
I turned to look at of my window, watching him walk off towards the entrance of the airport, his head hung low for privacy. All I wanted to do right now was run out of the car and hug him, go with him even. But I couldn't. I felt so sad, watching the person who loved me the most walk away - the person who had saved me when no one else would. But I knew that the best thing I could do for him right now was to do exactly what he had said, and stay in the car.
I pressed my hands against the window as I watched him go, stroking the glass to where I could see him through it. And then he disappeared around the corner, out of my sight. I sat back in my seat and lent my head back against the headrest.
Tre turned around to face me, smiling bleakly as Mike started up the car.
"Hey, erm... Me and Mike were just thinking, and I know it's not that exciting or anything, but did you wanna go catch a movie or something tonight?"
I sighed deeply, wiping my tears away and smiling back at him. "Yeah, that would be good thanks."
* * * * * * * *
I sat coldly in my room, the only living thing inside of it being myself. I felt so empty without Billie around. I was always thinking about him.
I wonder if he's off the plane yet. Is he at home? What's he doing? Is he thinking about me because I'm sure thinking about him.
The typical things you asked yourself when you were in love. Sitting around and constantly thinking about him, something suddenly came to mind in between the thoughts of Billie Joe. I hadn't played my guitar for weeks.
Scrambling over to my guitar in the corner of the room, I picked up my guitar from out of its case and sat on my bed. Resting it in my lap, I wondered what to play. It had been so long since I had put my fingers to a fret board and pressed down strings. Before I knew it, I was strumming Good Riddance, making me feel a little sad inside because Billie was gone, as well as the song being generally an emotional strain on me.
I was two thirds away from finishing the song when my hotel phone rang. Like a shot, I got up off the bed, abandoning my guitar and grabbing the phone, hoping it was Billie.
"Hello?"
"Hey Stef, it's me." It was Tre. "Listen, do have any make up?"
He knew I had make up. Where did he think I got it from? It certainly wasn't Billie Joe - even though I wouldn't of minded pinching his eyeliner.
"Yeah sure."
"Right... Can you bring it down please?"
* * * * * * * *
Tre tipped the contents of my make up case out onto the bathroom top surface, licking his lips.
I watched as Mike furrowed his brow uncertain.
"I still don't think is a good idea Tre... " Mike moaned, standing in the doorway to the bathroom and watching his friend skim through the different cosmetic products.
"Don't be such a dork Mike. Everything will be just fine... "
* * * * * * * *
Mike sighed as we jumped out of the hired car, taking the keys out of the ignition.
"Tre come on, just get out of the car and stop checking yourself out in the mirror." He sighed.
Tre pouted. "Don't rush me Mikey, I might break a heel."
"Just get out of the car."
"What, in these heels?"
"Just do it Tre."
"Alright, alright." Tre huffed as he opened the door and shifted himself delicately out of his seat. "And it's Trisha to you!"
I sniggered as I watched from the back seats as Tre got out of the vehicle, Mike following and huffing and puffing to himself. I took off my seatbelt, following them outside and joining them as they stood at the box office, Tre speaking through the glass.
"Oh hello," he giggled like a girl. Mike covered his head in his hands. "Could I have 3 tickets to see The Corpse Bride please? Hmmm... Thank you."
The usherette looked unconvinced at Tre from the top of her eyes, before typing into the computer.
"Would you like a erm... Family ticket?" she asked.
Tre smiled, pouting his big red lips. " Oh yes please. You see, this is my husband and this is my daughter. I love family outings don't you?"
I bit my lip trying not to laugh as Mike just shook his head, his cap pulled down over his face so no one could recognise that it was him.
"Oh Jesus God help me... " He mumbled hanging his head.
I was the only one who felt normal. I felt a little embarrassed for Mike, but I couldn't help but find it hysterically funny.
"Here's your tickets then madam." The usherette handed them to Tre as she took his cash.
"Oh thank you dear. Most kind." He smiled, fluttering his eyelashes that were thick with mascara. "Come on you two, let's go for our family outing!"
He beckoned us to follow as we walked through the entrance, heading into our screening. Tre's green dress sat tightly around his figure, clomping about in a pair of high-heeled shoes and a blonde wig. He wasn't the one not to know the meaning of exaggeration.
We shuffled up the steps, Tre picking up his dress petite and tiptoeing up to row K where our seats were.
"Excuse me! Excuse me! Pretty lady walking through here! Sorry dear!" He cooed to the annoyed viewers who now had to stand up so he or she could pass through.
Mike and I followed, mumbling sorry to every other person as they reluctantly let us pass through. We sat down in our seats, Tre making himself comfortable and pouting every time he had the chance too. Mike leaned towards him, whispering through his clenched teeth.
"When we joked about you dressing up as a woman and pretending to be a family as a cover up, I actually didn't mean for you to take it seriously."
"Oh hush now dear the film's starting." Tre hushed Mike, taping his nose and now leaning forward towards the bassist.
Mike raised his eyebrow. "What are you doing?"
"Come here and give your wife a great big kiss... "
Tre puckered up and grabbed hold of Mike's head, planting a great big wet kiss on his cheek.
"Get the fuck off of me!" Mike tried desperately to shove Tre off of him.
I laughed in hysterics as the two fought, Tre continuing to kiss his friend. I heard the people sitting next to us tutt under their breaths and groan about us, but no body heard apart from me. Mike pulled away, wiping his cheek clean as he frowned.
"Oh now look, you have lipstick all over your cheeks. Here, let me get it off for you... " Tre licked his finger and started to give Mike a spit wash.
"Tre, get the fuck off of me!"
Tre crossed his arms.
"How many times have I told you Mikey!? My name's Trisha!"
" You know what?! I wanna divorce from this marriage."
We walked through the city together, well, what was left of it anyway. Everything was still either shut down or destroyed. We didn't go far on Billie Joe's behalf, because since he hadn't talked much yesterday to as what really happened, we didn't know what surroundings would set him off.
We stuck close to the hotel for both Billie's sake and for Green Day's. They didn't want to be greeted by fans right now. It just wasn't the time or place.
Walking in a cluster down the boulevard, we mostly walked in silence.
Billie Joe sighed to himself, hanging his head before shoving his hands in his front pockets.
"Guys," he started. "I'm going away for a few days."
Tre and Mike stopped to stand and look at him. I stopped too, as Billie turned around to face us all.
"You're going away?" Tre asked raising his eyebrow. "Where?"
Billie Joe looked at me, as I knew exactly what he was talking about. I nodded a little to him, edging him to tell them - and to show that I was here to support him and as well as understand how hard it was for him to tell them.
"I'm going home."
Tre cocked his head to one side, still not understanding why he suddenly wanted to go home. But Mike somehow understood.
"But, why? For how long?" Tre questioned.
"Just for two days. I'm catching a plane tonight and I'll back by Thursday."
"But why Billie? Why?"
Billie Joe shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess to sort things out with Adrienne. I've got to tell her sometime about what happened to me yesterday. Plus, I want to see my boys again. I haven't seen them for what seems like ages and... I miss them."
It made me a little sad to see him talk about his boys and much he missed them. It just made me feel guiltier towards the fact that I had slept with their dad.
"But what about Stef? What about us?" Tre asked again curious.
Billie smiled to himself.
"You'll be fine. You've lasted without me before haven't you? And that's why it's your job to look after Stef whilst I'm away."
He looked at me, smiling sweetly as Tre tried to understand things from Billie's point of view.
"I'm proud of you." Mike called to him.
We all turned to look Mike, Billie shooting his head up to stare right into his best friend's eyes. And it seemed to make him a bit tearful.
"I'm proud of you for standing up to your responsibilities."
Again, Billie just shrugged his shoulders with nothing to say back.
"I guess it's about time I did." He replied, sighing a little before running his hand through his dishevelled hair. "Got to do it sometime, haven't I?"
Mike nodded in approval before Tre looked up at Billie, before opening his mouth to speak.
"It's gonna be weird without you."
* * * * * * * *
I sat perched on the edge of my bed in my room, crossed legged and watching Billie Joe in front of me, who was sitting on a chair in front of the desk with the phone pressed gently against his ear.
I looked down at my wrists that were in my lap, studying the scars that were slowly starting to heal. Looking at them from every angle, I took in how the scar tissue seemed to be slowly making an appearance across my skin.
I looked back up at Billie, as watching my mistakes for too long just made me depressed. It made me smile as I watched him, biting his lip and sticking out his tongue every here and there as he took down information on a small piece of paper with a hotel advertisement pen.
"Uh-huh," he would reply every so often as he took down more notes.
"Ok, so that's... At 9 tonight... Terminal 2... Gate 32... "
He cocked his head to one side as he listened to the other person on the end of the phone.
"Ok... And that's half an hour before take off?" He pondered, licking his bottom lip as he swung round on the chair. "Ok... Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, bye...."
He put the phone down and sighed deeply, turning round to face me to see me smiling at him.
"What?" He asked laughing.
"You look cute when you're on the phone." I told him, continuing to smile.
A smile spread across his own face as he put his finger to his chin in thought.
"Ok, so when else am I cute then?" He asked flirting a little.
"Well... " I thought, pouting. "Do you want the short list or the long?"
He light heartedly laughed. "Ok, put it this way then. When am I NOT cute?"
"Precisely." I concluded, nodding my head in agreement. "You're never not cute."
I got up off the edge of the bed and walked towards him, slipping my hands onto his shoulders as I stood against him as he sat on the chair still.
"It's going to be weird without you."
"I know," he replied, blinking slowly from lack of sleep.
"Ever since I met you, I've seen you almost everyday or at least spoken to you."
It was only going to be 2 days, but it seemed so long to be apart from him.
"Yeah, it's going to be... Weird." He spoke, not knowing how to word the situation.
There was an awkward silence between us before I decided to break it.
"So what time are you leaving?"
"Hmm... About 7:30. My flight's at 9."
I nodded in acknowledgement, sighing.
"You all packed up then?"
"Nah, don't need to take anything really." He muttered, as I moved off of him. "Just my wallet and passpo -... Oh shit... "
"What?"
"My passport's downstairs."
"I'll go get it for you." I volunteered.
"You sure?" He asked quirking his eyebrow.
"Yeah. I'm sure."
He handed me over his hotel room key from his pocket, before I wandered out of my own room and down the hallway.
* * * * * * * *
I reached the 4th floor at the stairway and headed down the hall, humming to myself as I did. As I reached Billie's room, I found that the door was already open. He'sitating suddenly, I crept into the room, keeping to the wall and poking my head around the corner. I was relieved when I saw who it was though who had intruded the room.
" Mike. Tre."
They both turned around to see me standing there, smiling back at me as they threw their suitcases on the two other beds that weren't Billie's.
"Hey Stef." Tre called out, opening his case up.
"What are you guys doing?"
"Unpacking. What else does it look like?" He responded.
"You've come back?" I wondered. "How come?"
It had been a while since we had all stayed in the same hotel. For some time Mike and Tre had been hiding in another hotel somewhere ever since the police had come looking for us for the second time running.
Tre shrugged his shoulders.
"Billie's orders."
I stood and thought for a moment. "Billie Joe told you to come back?"
"That's what he said."
Why had Billie made them come back? Did he want us to all be together again? Or was he leaving them to watch me all the time whilst he was gone? I had to ask him. I didn't want to think that he had gone through all the trouble of sending them here just to look after me.
Then I suddenly remembered what I had actually come down here for.
"Where's Billie's passport?" I asked, trying to put my concerns into the back of my head.
"I dunno, try in the top draw over there," Tre pointed to a draw as he continued to pull belongings from his suitcase.
I walked over to the draw and opened it up, rummaging around to find his passport.
* * * * * * * *
I handed over to him his passport as he looked round to see me walk back into the room.
"Ah, thanks kid." He thanked relived, taking it off of me.
He turned his back on me, bending down to do his shoelace up as I crossed my arms a little annoyed.
"I see Mike and Tre have moved back in."
He stopped suddenly, like he had been caught out. He clenched his teeth together behind his back.
"Yeah... "
There was an awkward silence as he stood up and turned to face me.
"I don't mind them staying to look after me Billie, it's just the fact that you have to keep it a secret behind my back that makes me think you can't always trust me."
"No, no, no." Billie cried. "I DO trust you. It's not that at all."
He walked up towards me and placed his hands on either side of my face, cupping my jaw line.
He sighed. "It's not you that I don't trust, it's other people. No one else out there knows how much you mean to me, so they don't know what they would be doing if they tried to harm you. I just can't bear the thought of something happening to you whilst I'm gone. At least you have Mike and Tre here for you if you DID need someone. I'm only trying to protect you... "
"I can look after myself you know... "
"I know you can babe, I know you can." He pulled me in to give me a hug. "I'm not saying you can't. I just can't loose you again. It's too much of a risk. If something else happened to you, well... I just don't know what I would do."
I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight, as I knew it would be hard for me to see him go later today.
"And I don't want you to think that because I'm going back home for a few days that I'll come back and regret everything that's happened between us. Because I'm not. I don't want you to think that because I'm going to see Adrienne again that I'm going to stop loving you. Because I won't. It's a difficult situation, I know, and I'm bad for putting both of us in it in the first place, because someone's going to get hurt some day when they find out. If they find out. And I'll do my best at making sure no one does. I still love you and always will."
I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck.
"You're not bad Billie. You just fell in love. Nobody can stop that from happening."
I felt him swallow back.
"I know. No one can stop it."
"And it was my decision that you went back home for a few days, so don't blame yourself for anything. If you have to blame anyone - blame me."
"I don't blame you for anything Stef. Everything has been my fault."
I looked up at him. "What? So you being caught up in a terror attack was your fault?"
"Yeah. If I hadn't stopped to get flowers then I would have been ok."
"And that's because of me, because I had cut myself and was in hospital. Now that IS my fault."
He shook his head. "Nope that's my fault too."
I raised my eyebrow. "Now you're just making yourself feel bad."
He laughed to himself, drawing me back in for another hug as he wrapped his arms around my back. "You know what? Every day I always fall in love with you even more."
"Billie, that happened to me a long time ago. Now I'm in love. And I have been for a long time."
* * * * * * * *
All four of us cramped into the back of Mike's hired car from the hotel, the sky darkening as the day grew into evening. It was 10 to 8 and I knew that in a few minutes he would be gone.
Both Billie and I sat in the back of the vehicle as Mike drove us to the airport, Tre sitting in the front passengers seat.
Tre and Mike talked amongst each other in the front seats, discussing something that I couldn't really work out as I wasn't listening. I stared out of my window, trying so hard not to feel sad about Billie leaving. Yes, it was only a few days, but it was the first time he was going to be gone since we had met.
We both sat in silence, Billie hanging his head low in discomfort as his hand rested upon mine gently between us on the car seats.
I sighed deeply, watching the vehicles pass us on the highway. I slowly turned my head around to face him, making him look back up at me. He smiled bleakly but we both knew it was going to be hard saying goodbye.
It's only 2 days. It's only 2 days.
2 days. 2 whole days without him.
It's only 2 days. It's only 2 days.
2 days. 2 whole days without her.
"It'll be ok." He whispered to me, stroking my hand.
I looked into his eyes and nodded a little, trying my best not to cry or feel sad. But I just couldn't do it.
To my surprise, the car stopped and pulled up to the sidewalk that was outside the entrance to the airport. I looked out of the window and my heart lurched. I wasn't expecting for us to get here this quick. I looked back at Billie, my eyes pleading - but he had to go. It had been MY idea for him to go. Billie swallowed, getting ready to jump out of the car. He took off his seatbelt and looked at both Mike and Tre, who had turned round in their seats to face him. He took in a deep breath.
"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you guys in a couple of days then."
Tre nodded as Billie lent forward and hugged him around the upper part of his body, kissing him on the cheek as he did.
"Good luck man." The drummer said, smiling to his friend as he patted him on the back.
Billie turned to the other side of Tre and hugged Mike tight, leaning forward and whispering into his ear;
"Look after her for me please."
Mike smiled back at him. "I will. Don't worry. And I'm proud of you for doing this."
Billie Joe felt a little more relived knowing Mike would look after me, but he still felt weary.
He finally turned to face me, cupping my face with his hands again.
"Stef, I want you to promise me something."
I gulped a little, trying to choke back the tears.
"When I go," he continued. "You must not follow me, you can't get out of this car. Even if it's the thing you want to do the most. You must NOT get out. Do you promise me?"
I let a tear roll down my cheek as I felt my bottom lip tremble. "But Billie... "
"No... " he whispered, wiping away my tear with his thumb gently. "You mustn't. Do you promise me?"
I nodded feeling defeated, letting another tear appear.
"Good girl. Good girl... " he lent in and held me tight and I flung my arms around his neck.
He kissed my neck lightly as he whispered softly to me, making me shiver.
"I love you so much Stef. And everyday I'll think about you. And I'll miss you so much... "
"Me too... " I whimpered, inhaling his scent. "I love you Billie."
"Billie... " Mike he'sitated watching us, without wanting to interrupt. "You'll miss your flight... "
He pulled away from me, wiping his eyes. "Ok... Ok, I'll go."
He lent forward and kissed me on the lips softly, before turning around and opening the car door.
"I'll see you guys in a couple of days," he called out, jumping out and shutting the door.
"Billie!" I cried out in sadness as I watched him go, pressing my face against the window.
I turned to look at of my window, watching him walk off towards the entrance of the airport, his head hung low for privacy. All I wanted to do right now was run out of the car and hug him, go with him even. But I couldn't. I felt so sad, watching the person who loved me the most walk away - the person who had saved me when no one else would. But I knew that the best thing I could do for him right now was to do exactly what he had said, and stay in the car.
I pressed my hands against the window as I watched him go, stroking the glass to where I could see him through it. And then he disappeared around the corner, out of my sight. I sat back in my seat and lent my head back against the headrest.
Tre turned around to face me, smiling bleakly as Mike started up the car.
"Hey, erm... Me and Mike were just thinking, and I know it's not that exciting or anything, but did you wanna go catch a movie or something tonight?"
I sighed deeply, wiping my tears away and smiling back at him. "Yeah, that would be good thanks."
* * * * * * * *
I sat coldly in my room, the only living thing inside of it being myself. I felt so empty without Billie around. I was always thinking about him.
I wonder if he's off the plane yet. Is he at home? What's he doing? Is he thinking about me because I'm sure thinking about him.
The typical things you asked yourself when you were in love. Sitting around and constantly thinking about him, something suddenly came to mind in between the thoughts of Billie Joe. I hadn't played my guitar for weeks.
Scrambling over to my guitar in the corner of the room, I picked up my guitar from out of its case and sat on my bed. Resting it in my lap, I wondered what to play. It had been so long since I had put my fingers to a fret board and pressed down strings. Before I knew it, I was strumming Good Riddance, making me feel a little sad inside because Billie was gone, as well as the song being generally an emotional strain on me.
I was two thirds away from finishing the song when my hotel phone rang. Like a shot, I got up off the bed, abandoning my guitar and grabbing the phone, hoping it was Billie.
"Hello?"
"Hey Stef, it's me." It was Tre. "Listen, do have any make up?"
He knew I had make up. Where did he think I got it from? It certainly wasn't Billie Joe - even though I wouldn't of minded pinching his eyeliner.
"Yeah sure."
"Right... Can you bring it down please?"
* * * * * * * *
Tre tipped the contents of my make up case out onto the bathroom top surface, licking his lips.
I watched as Mike furrowed his brow uncertain.
"I still don't think is a good idea Tre... " Mike moaned, standing in the doorway to the bathroom and watching his friend skim through the different cosmetic products.
"Don't be such a dork Mike. Everything will be just fine... "
* * * * * * * *
Mike sighed as we jumped out of the hired car, taking the keys out of the ignition.
"Tre come on, just get out of the car and stop checking yourself out in the mirror." He sighed.
Tre pouted. "Don't rush me Mikey, I might break a heel."
"Just get out of the car."
"What, in these heels?"
"Just do it Tre."
"Alright, alright." Tre huffed as he opened the door and shifted himself delicately out of his seat. "And it's Trisha to you!"
I sniggered as I watched from the back seats as Tre got out of the vehicle, Mike following and huffing and puffing to himself. I took off my seatbelt, following them outside and joining them as they stood at the box office, Tre speaking through the glass.
"Oh hello," he giggled like a girl. Mike covered his head in his hands. "Could I have 3 tickets to see The Corpse Bride please? Hmmm... Thank you."
The usherette looked unconvinced at Tre from the top of her eyes, before typing into the computer.
"Would you like a erm... Family ticket?" she asked.
Tre smiled, pouting his big red lips. " Oh yes please. You see, this is my husband and this is my daughter. I love family outings don't you?"
I bit my lip trying not to laugh as Mike just shook his head, his cap pulled down over his face so no one could recognise that it was him.
"Oh Jesus God help me... " He mumbled hanging his head.
I was the only one who felt normal. I felt a little embarrassed for Mike, but I couldn't help but find it hysterically funny.
"Here's your tickets then madam." The usherette handed them to Tre as she took his cash.
"Oh thank you dear. Most kind." He smiled, fluttering his eyelashes that were thick with mascara. "Come on you two, let's go for our family outing!"
He beckoned us to follow as we walked through the entrance, heading into our screening. Tre's green dress sat tightly around his figure, clomping about in a pair of high-heeled shoes and a blonde wig. He wasn't the one not to know the meaning of exaggeration.
We shuffled up the steps, Tre picking up his dress petite and tiptoeing up to row K where our seats were.
"Excuse me! Excuse me! Pretty lady walking through here! Sorry dear!" He cooed to the annoyed viewers who now had to stand up so he or she could pass through.
Mike and I followed, mumbling sorry to every other person as they reluctantly let us pass through. We sat down in our seats, Tre making himself comfortable and pouting every time he had the chance too. Mike leaned towards him, whispering through his clenched teeth.
"When we joked about you dressing up as a woman and pretending to be a family as a cover up, I actually didn't mean for you to take it seriously."
"Oh hush now dear the film's starting." Tre hushed Mike, taping his nose and now leaning forward towards the bassist.
Mike raised his eyebrow. "What are you doing?"
"Come here and give your wife a great big kiss... "
Tre puckered up and grabbed hold of Mike's head, planting a great big wet kiss on his cheek.
"Get the fuck off of me!" Mike tried desperately to shove Tre off of him.
I laughed in hysterics as the two fought, Tre continuing to kiss his friend. I heard the people sitting next to us tutt under their breaths and groan about us, but no body heard apart from me. Mike pulled away, wiping his cheek clean as he frowned.
"Oh now look, you have lipstick all over your cheeks. Here, let me get it off for you... " Tre licked his finger and started to give Mike a spit wash.
"Tre, get the fuck off of me!"
Tre crossed his arms.
"How many times have I told you Mikey!? My name's Trisha!"
" You know what?! I wanna divorce from this marriage."
