A Note Don't Come Easy, chapter 4
It felt strange... and I felt strange. I didn't know the meaning of the word!!! Billie Joe hugged me tighter and placed my guitar on the floor as it was slipping off my lap.
"It's ok. We all need to cry sometimes."
"But Billie Joe," I started. I was STILL snivelling. I bet he thought I was a right twat. "I cried for no reason. How embarrassing!?!"
"Hey, you cried 'cause you needed to. That shit about your step-dad didn't sound like nothing. To me, I think you're pretty strong. To live with this stuff is kinda tough."
He lifted my chin up and looked at me through my tears. God, that smile. I wish he didn't have such a nice smile, I know that sounds fucking nasty but it killed me everytime. It made me numb all over. He wiped my tear with his thumb from the side of my face and got up from his spot next to me.
"I know this gonna sound a bit weird," he started. "We've only just met eachother, but if it makes you feel better, I'm here to talk to you."
He was soooooo sweet. We'd hardly met and already he was turning into my agony uncle. He paced around the room, until something caught his eye on one of the armchairs. He laughed to himself, and picked up a Green Day CD which I had stupidly left lying around.
"Oh...." I said at the sight of him picking up all the CD's.
I wiped away my tears on the sleeve of my hoody and got off from the table and stood next to him.
"Are we ALL that you listen to kid?" He asked searching through the numerous CD's, only to find himself slapped on everyone.
"Pretty much,yeah." I tried to smile but I felt so awkward.
"What your favourite?"
"That's a REALLY difficult question Billie Joe."
I had so many favourites. I couldn't choose! I thought I had better say something though.
"Well, I like Basket Case, but I love Minority. That rocks. Oh and Holiday, and American Idiot..."
I stopped realising that I was probably embarrassing him. Billie put the Cd's down and walked out onto the balcony. He clamped his hands around the barrier and hunched over to stare out into the distance. I followed him like a sheep, and timidly stood behind him.
"You know kid, you got talent. I've never heard anything like you playing before. You got determination in you that gives you a drive. You're awesome, but you gotta be confident about it to be able to play well."
He turned to look behind at me, and smiled. I savoured every word he said, and the smile.
"Kid," (I loved it when he called me kid) "if you want help with practising, I'm always willing. Besides, I've got loadsa free time now. We don't gig until another 5 days. We're ment to be resting, but to tell you the truth, it's boring."
I felt this HUGE smile spread across my face. Billie Joe was going to give me guitar lessons?!? How fucking amazing was this!!!
"In fact, I could give you one later this evening. Tre and Mike will want to watch ANOTHER film, and I've seen enough to last me a lifetime. It comes with the job, watching movies all the time, but I'm kinda sick of it."
How could you get sik of watching movies all the time? But I suppose I could understand where he was coming from. I got sick of going o the cinema every weekend when my dad took us on his weekly visits to see us.
"So how about it kid?" I moved from his position leaning on the balcony and turned to face me.
"Sure," I started, smiling goofily again. "Tonight's fine."
I think he'd realised my smiling because he started to laugh himself, but in a nice way. He took a few seconds to stare at me, and then he paced back into my suite.
"I'll be a few hours. Gotta go into town. You know, things to do people to see, that sorta shit."
He walked towards the door to go out and opened it.
"Yeah, anything you want me to do before?" I asked un-sure of myself.
He raised his eyebrow slightly and frowned in confusion.
"Tune my guitar, have a song ready to play...that sorta stuff?"
I know I was asking him, but it also sounded like I was asking myself. Asking myself whether this was real.
"Oh!" He changed his frown to a cute smile and went to walk out the door. "All you need is yourself and determination, which you dont to go looking for."
I smiled back to him as he walked out of the door, almost closing it. I turned round and squeled inside. Billie Joe quickly opened the door again to ask one final question.
"Hey kid."
He scared the shit out of me! I turned around again, slightly afraid that he might of caught me jumping up and down.
"What you practising for?"
"To see you guys on tour." I quietly said, scratching my head in embarressment and looking away.
He smiled again and this time, he shut the door. I ran around the room as fast as I could, and then jumped up and down on my bed. I was bursting with so much energy. I waved my arms madly in the air, and finally plonked down onto the bed when I had worn myself out. I had just met Green Day, had a conversation with Green Day, played to Green Day, cried infront of Green Day, had hugs from Green Day and now Billie Joe was giving me GUITAR LESSONS!!!!!!!! My life couldn't get any better...
* * * * *
I stared at the mirror and studied my face carefully. It was swarmed with spots. If Billie Joe was gonna give me guiyar lessons, I could at least try to make myself look better. Being Jet Lagged still didn't help, but I didn't care much. I had always been a spotty person. I bet you that if they cut me up and looked inside of me, there would be spots there too. They followed me around wherever I went. There was a knock at the door, same as the one I had heard from Mike this morning, but instead of ignoring it, this time I ran to it. There he was again, Billie Joe Armstrong. I smiled and moved aside to let him pass through.
"You look different." He said, smiling, but trying to figure out carefuly.
"Spots." I groaned.
"Spots are Ok. It shows that you're normal. I had spots too you know. I still do."
He sat on the glass table, and hunched over again, like he had done this morning.
"You're sittin on the glass table." I told him closing the door and standing infront of him.
"So were you this morning. Besides, I feel comfortable here, and Billie Joe does whatever he wants."
I laughed at the well known comment of his and took the seat next to him, on the glass table. I picked up my guitar and looked at him, ready for his words of wisdom.
"Play me song, and I'll give you help on the way."
He leaned back slightly on his hands and watched me play. I started to play Boulevard of Broken Dreams, and waited for an answer from Billie.
"I know you've probably been taught to strum from your wrist, but try and use the top of your arm more. It gives more power."
"What, like this?"
I stupidly tried to follow his instruction, but it felt so awkward.
"It looks like you're wanking." He said, laughing.
I burst out laughing and leaned on my guitar to stop my sides from hurting. He smiled at his own comment and took the guitar off of me.
"Give it here. Boulevard of Broken Dreams is powerful. It involves alot of psychotic, hangover, neurotic stuff. Like me!" He joked pointing to himself.
I laughed pittfully and stared at his face while he started to play. I didn't think he was psychotic, or hangover. In fact, he was absolutely gorgeous. So gorgeous I couldn't even take my fucking eyes off him. I wasn't concentrating on his strumming like I was meant to, his face seemed more interesting. It was like I had known him all my life. In a way I had, following and listening to him for 13 years, but now it felt for real. He stopped playing.
"You hold more power within a song if it's relevant to you and your life, or someone you know's life. A personal experience makes it more gripping and emotional."
I thought back to songs that were relevant to me and why.
"Play a song that's relevant to yo in someway."
He watched me closly again, and I paused before playing. I took a deep breath and started to play the first few bars of 'Wake Me Up When September Ends.' I loved that song, it always made me feel better when I was down or sad. I continued to play and looke dup at Billie Joe. His face had changed from being cute and heart warming, and was now drained and sorrow.I stopped smiling, I looked hard at him, but still carrie don playing. I didn't know what was the matter. He looked at me, and his eyes were glazed over. I didn't stop playing, I didn't think to stop playing. He got up and walked over to the door to go. Shit, holy crap! Wake Me Up When September Ends, Billie Joe wrote it about his dad. It was relevant to HIM, and I didn't even stop to fucking think!!!
"Billie Joe!" I cried, just before he closed the door behind him.
Shit...what had I done? I never meant to hurt Billie Joe, never in the world would I hurt him. After all that he'd done for me, and now I'd given him heartache.
"It's ok. We all need to cry sometimes."
"But Billie Joe," I started. I was STILL snivelling. I bet he thought I was a right twat. "I cried for no reason. How embarrassing!?!"
"Hey, you cried 'cause you needed to. That shit about your step-dad didn't sound like nothing. To me, I think you're pretty strong. To live with this stuff is kinda tough."
He lifted my chin up and looked at me through my tears. God, that smile. I wish he didn't have such a nice smile, I know that sounds fucking nasty but it killed me everytime. It made me numb all over. He wiped my tear with his thumb from the side of my face and got up from his spot next to me.
"I know this gonna sound a bit weird," he started. "We've only just met eachother, but if it makes you feel better, I'm here to talk to you."
He was soooooo sweet. We'd hardly met and already he was turning into my agony uncle. He paced around the room, until something caught his eye on one of the armchairs. He laughed to himself, and picked up a Green Day CD which I had stupidly left lying around.
"Oh...." I said at the sight of him picking up all the CD's.
I wiped away my tears on the sleeve of my hoody and got off from the table and stood next to him.
"Are we ALL that you listen to kid?" He asked searching through the numerous CD's, only to find himself slapped on everyone.
"Pretty much,yeah." I tried to smile but I felt so awkward.
"What your favourite?"
"That's a REALLY difficult question Billie Joe."
I had so many favourites. I couldn't choose! I thought I had better say something though.
"Well, I like Basket Case, but I love Minority. That rocks. Oh and Holiday, and American Idiot..."
I stopped realising that I was probably embarrassing him. Billie put the Cd's down and walked out onto the balcony. He clamped his hands around the barrier and hunched over to stare out into the distance. I followed him like a sheep, and timidly stood behind him.
"You know kid, you got talent. I've never heard anything like you playing before. You got determination in you that gives you a drive. You're awesome, but you gotta be confident about it to be able to play well."
He turned to look behind at me, and smiled. I savoured every word he said, and the smile.
"Kid," (I loved it when he called me kid) "if you want help with practising, I'm always willing. Besides, I've got loadsa free time now. We don't gig until another 5 days. We're ment to be resting, but to tell you the truth, it's boring."
I felt this HUGE smile spread across my face. Billie Joe was going to give me guitar lessons?!? How fucking amazing was this!!!
"In fact, I could give you one later this evening. Tre and Mike will want to watch ANOTHER film, and I've seen enough to last me a lifetime. It comes with the job, watching movies all the time, but I'm kinda sick of it."
How could you get sik of watching movies all the time? But I suppose I could understand where he was coming from. I got sick of going o the cinema every weekend when my dad took us on his weekly visits to see us.
"So how about it kid?" I moved from his position leaning on the balcony and turned to face me.
"Sure," I started, smiling goofily again. "Tonight's fine."
I think he'd realised my smiling because he started to laugh himself, but in a nice way. He took a few seconds to stare at me, and then he paced back into my suite.
"I'll be a few hours. Gotta go into town. You know, things to do people to see, that sorta shit."
He walked towards the door to go out and opened it.
"Yeah, anything you want me to do before?" I asked un-sure of myself.
He raised his eyebrow slightly and frowned in confusion.
"Tune my guitar, have a song ready to play...that sorta stuff?"
I know I was asking him, but it also sounded like I was asking myself. Asking myself whether this was real.
"Oh!" He changed his frown to a cute smile and went to walk out the door. "All you need is yourself and determination, which you dont to go looking for."
I smiled back to him as he walked out of the door, almost closing it. I turned round and squeled inside. Billie Joe quickly opened the door again to ask one final question.
"Hey kid."
He scared the shit out of me! I turned around again, slightly afraid that he might of caught me jumping up and down.
"What you practising for?"
"To see you guys on tour." I quietly said, scratching my head in embarressment and looking away.
He smiled again and this time, he shut the door. I ran around the room as fast as I could, and then jumped up and down on my bed. I was bursting with so much energy. I waved my arms madly in the air, and finally plonked down onto the bed when I had worn myself out. I had just met Green Day, had a conversation with Green Day, played to Green Day, cried infront of Green Day, had hugs from Green Day and now Billie Joe was giving me GUITAR LESSONS!!!!!!!! My life couldn't get any better...
* * * * *
I stared at the mirror and studied my face carefully. It was swarmed with spots. If Billie Joe was gonna give me guiyar lessons, I could at least try to make myself look better. Being Jet Lagged still didn't help, but I didn't care much. I had always been a spotty person. I bet you that if they cut me up and looked inside of me, there would be spots there too. They followed me around wherever I went. There was a knock at the door, same as the one I had heard from Mike this morning, but instead of ignoring it, this time I ran to it. There he was again, Billie Joe Armstrong. I smiled and moved aside to let him pass through.
"You look different." He said, smiling, but trying to figure out carefuly.
"Spots." I groaned.
"Spots are Ok. It shows that you're normal. I had spots too you know. I still do."
He sat on the glass table, and hunched over again, like he had done this morning.
"You're sittin on the glass table." I told him closing the door and standing infront of him.
"So were you this morning. Besides, I feel comfortable here, and Billie Joe does whatever he wants."
I laughed at the well known comment of his and took the seat next to him, on the glass table. I picked up my guitar and looked at him, ready for his words of wisdom.
"Play me song, and I'll give you help on the way."
He leaned back slightly on his hands and watched me play. I started to play Boulevard of Broken Dreams, and waited for an answer from Billie.
"I know you've probably been taught to strum from your wrist, but try and use the top of your arm more. It gives more power."
"What, like this?"
I stupidly tried to follow his instruction, but it felt so awkward.
"It looks like you're wanking." He said, laughing.
I burst out laughing and leaned on my guitar to stop my sides from hurting. He smiled at his own comment and took the guitar off of me.
"Give it here. Boulevard of Broken Dreams is powerful. It involves alot of psychotic, hangover, neurotic stuff. Like me!" He joked pointing to himself.
I laughed pittfully and stared at his face while he started to play. I didn't think he was psychotic, or hangover. In fact, he was absolutely gorgeous. So gorgeous I couldn't even take my fucking eyes off him. I wasn't concentrating on his strumming like I was meant to, his face seemed more interesting. It was like I had known him all my life. In a way I had, following and listening to him for 13 years, but now it felt for real. He stopped playing.
"You hold more power within a song if it's relevant to you and your life, or someone you know's life. A personal experience makes it more gripping and emotional."
I thought back to songs that were relevant to me and why.
"Play a song that's relevant to yo in someway."
He watched me closly again, and I paused before playing. I took a deep breath and started to play the first few bars of 'Wake Me Up When September Ends.' I loved that song, it always made me feel better when I was down or sad. I continued to play and looke dup at Billie Joe. His face had changed from being cute and heart warming, and was now drained and sorrow.I stopped smiling, I looked hard at him, but still carrie don playing. I didn't know what was the matter. He looked at me, and his eyes were glazed over. I didn't stop playing, I didn't think to stop playing. He got up and walked over to the door to go. Shit, holy crap! Wake Me Up When September Ends, Billie Joe wrote it about his dad. It was relevant to HIM, and I didn't even stop to fucking think!!!
"Billie Joe!" I cried, just before he closed the door behind him.
Shit...what had I done? I never meant to hurt Billie Joe, never in the world would I hurt him. After all that he'd done for me, and now I'd given him heartache.
