A Note Don't Come Easy, chapter 43
Mike had offered to pay for the meals, but Billie Joe had insisted. He said that it had been his idea to have the night out, so it was rightfully him who should pay. We had gotten up, and wrapped ourselves' up in our coats, gloves and scarves. Billie Joe looking extremely cute in a long black woolly style coat with a grey and black striped scarf that was coiled warmly around his neck and down the front of his chest. But Billie had surprised me when he had told Mike and Tre to go ahead back to the hotel, saying that us two were going to wander for a bit and that we would be back in a while. We stood outside the restaurant and said goodbye to each other, Billie and I watching as the drummer and bassist headed off down the boulevard in the darkness of the night and disappearing out of sight. Billie Joe wrapped his arm around the back of me, as we walked in the opposite direction to Tre and Mike - my arm snaked around the back of him too.
"You enjoy tonight?" He asked, licking his lips and looking at me for my response.
"Yeah thanks." I replied, smiling back at him. "It was lovely."
I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his, before shaking my head a little to push away a loose strand of hair.
"You didn't have to take me out you know."
He grinned a little before sighing.
"I know I didn't, but I wanted to."
"Well, I'm very grateful." I told him, smiling softly again as he held me tight.
After a while of just walking through the city, I finally went to ask him what he had next in mind.
"So, are we going anywhere in particular?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Not necessarily." He quirked, cocking his to the side. "But there is something I want to show you."
Studying his profile as he stared at the ground a bit as we walked, I bit my lip in suspension of wondering what it was that he was taking me to show.
Passing a few other couples linked by each other's hand and arms, I suddenly felt as if I fitted in somewhere.
It felt right to be with Billie Joe, and it was also a sense of relief.
All I wanted to do for the rest of my life was to be with him. And even though it sounded impossible, I somehow had it in my mind that it would work out.
We would be together, and we would be able to love each other for as long as we desired.
But shit had also been invented in this day in age and it was ready to throw itself right into our faces at any moment.
And I was aware of that. I just didn't want to think like that right now.
Taking me down a sidewalk and casting us into shadow, he shoved his free hand into his coat pocket.
He looked so cute - wearing a long knitted black coat with a grey and black scarf that was wrapped around his neck.
He looked like the perfect family guy.
"You know, I've been thinking lately." He started, collecting his thoughts.
My heart suddenly felt heavy, hearing his words.
Thinking about what?
What was there to think about except for how well things were working out between us?
He stopped walking, digging into his pocket and pulling something out before turning to me.
"I know that we haven't had the best of times together before... before... " He hesitated slightly.
I knew what he was getting at, and I understood that he didn't want to have to mention it.
We hadn't had the best of times before he managed to escape the terrorist attack.
The incident of me trying to kill myself being the main cause for his heartache.
"Before... well, you know... that happened." He continued, feeling awkward.
He looked into my eyes, his own so refreshing and glinting in the moonlight, as well as the city's night-lights that lit up the sky.
"But I want to you know that I love you. And I'm not just saying that."
Listening to him carefully as I watched him to try to express his feelings, I couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty still.
The guilt was never going to go. It was obvious now that it wasn't, because I cared about Billie too much to just forget about what I had done.
But optimistically, it had brought us together - kicking us each up the arse and making us realise that we did care about each other; and that we did have something special going on.
Too special to waste.
We had love.
"And, I've been thinking... about what you said the other day, about marriage."
Oh, shit.
He looked nervously at the ground, whilst twisting a small box around with his thumb and index finger.
"And I know we can never be married," he continued, sighing and looking me in the eye. "But I wanted to make a bind with you. Personally link us together, so that we... can always have something to symbolise our love."
Breaking the barrier suddenly he opened up the box that he had been swivelling in between his fingers, revealing it to me as my eyes set over the ring that was sitting inside of it.
Suddenly taking an intake of air in shock, mouth opened wide - I just stared at it.
Billie took my hand himself, taking the ring out and slipping it onto my middle finger.
Shaking a little, I lifted my hand up into the light to studying the ring properly that was now sitting on my middle finger.
Fucking hell Billie Joe.
"If you look at the bottom part of it... I erm, had a date engraved on it." He added, scuffling his feet against the concrete as he watched me study it in amazement.
Turning my hand and opening up my palm I squinted, and sure thing, there was a date there.
17.1.2005
The day we had met.
"It's the erm, day we met." He added, watching me still.
I couldn't say anything. I was so speechless and touched emotionally I couldn't bring myself to speak.
Breaking out into a smile and feeling tears of happiness fill my eyes, I suddenly flung myself around him, curling my arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek.
Closing my eyes and feeling him wrapping his arms around me, my heart overwhelmed with happiness I thought it was going to explode.
"Thank you." I whispered into his ear, kissing him again on the side of the face before pressing myself against again in a hug.
"I love you babe." He replied, rubbing his hands up and down my back in comfort.
His words sent shivers down my spine.
"I love you too Billie."
Breaking away from him, I kissed him fully on the lips, feeling him graze past my teeth as we did.
Taking my hand again whilst smiling, he started to walk again, leading me down the sidewalk further.
As we walked into the dark, he led me around the corner, before entering the local park.
Together we strolled down through the park, mostly hidden in darkness - the moon reflecting off of the lake to the side of us.
"You know, I never thought I'd end up like this." I spoke.
He raised his eyebrows, looking at me in curiosity.
"Is this not the way you wanted things then?" He asked me.
"No. It's better then I ever imagined. Better than I would ever want."
A sweet smile appeared across his face, one that I couldn't describe.
It was touching, and made me smile with him too.
Taking me to sit down on a bench, we both looked up into the sky.
"Isn't it beautiful?" He asked.
"Yeah it is." I replied, a little awestruck at the sight of all the stars twinkling above us.
"I visit this place every time we're in the city at night."
We sat there for a while, just staring at the stars and taking the night scenery in. Everything still and peaceful, the way I liked it.
"Hey, look at the that." He suddenly cried out, grabbing my arm for attention and pointing into the sky. "A shooting star."
I bit my lip as we watched it past over us, amazed a little at the same time.
"I've never seen a shooting star before."
"Really?" He looked at me with wide eyes. "I've seen them a few times."
"Like when?"
Loosening his shoulders and relaxing a bit more, he slipped his hands into his pockets again to keep them warm.
"Well, one time I was sitting in the garden back home at night. Everyone else was still in bed and I hadn't been able to sleep. For the past couple of days we had been in the studio trying to work on songs for American Idiot. And everything that I fucking tried just sucked. And it was kinda bad with Adrienne, things weren't... great. And I couldn't sleep. Me being an Insomniac and everything, you know? So I got up and went into the garden, and lay across the grass - just staring at the sky. I had so many ideas but I just couldn't... mould them I guess."
I watched him as he explained, pouting a little as he continued.
"I had been trying to figure a lot things out in my mind at the time. I had so much going on in my head it was worrying me. And then I saw this shooting star, and it kinda amazed me. And suddenly these lyrics came into my head. 'Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars.' And... that was it. Those two lines just stuck out and then I knew how to deal with the loss of my father, by writing Wake me up when September ends."
"Aw Billie... "
He turned to look at me with a confused expression.
"That's really sad." I added, looking at him a little saddened.
He sighed deeply.
"So now whenever I see a shooting star, I think of it as a sign. That something good's coming, or happening."
He turned to look at me.
"Like something good's happening now."
Smiling at him, he looked into my eyes before leaning forward and kissing me softly.
"And I'm not going to let anyone or anything try and take you away from me."
* * * * * * * *
Still sitting on the park bench, both Billie and I were both close together, keeping in the heat that was around and for the past 10 minutes I had been talking about the loss of my Granddad.
"I remember, he used to go over the top at Christmas, make everything a grotto." I laughed at the thought. "He used to put snow spray all across the windows - and then it would be my Nan who had to spend hours later in the New Year, trying to get it all off."
Billie Joe smiled at the thought, watching me closely as I recalled the memory. Then my face expression changed.
"And then, afterwards, when he wasn't there... everything just changed."
Billie's smile faded to a more serious, concerned, and maybe a little saddened look.
"Christmas was never the same, and... and... even though I tried to make things better, people just weren't putting in the effort no more." I sighed, lowering my head. "My Nan didn't put as much effort or energy into it, and it broke me. My uncle and his best friend stopped coming round on Christmas day, and Tom was always at work. In a way, it was kind of good that he was at work; it gave me, my mum and sisters some time together. But then he would come home, at he'd be pissed off. I remember... this Christmas especially."
Billie pouted a little, looking at me sad and watching me as I tried to not let things get to me too much.
A weak smile suddenly appeared on my face for a few seconds.
"I remember... I got the American Idiot album." I smiled, looking up at him and beaming.
He smiled back at me, still not saying anything - but only listening to what I had to say.
He had had his moment, now it was my turn to talk and him to listen and be there for me.
"I was so happy after I had got that CD. I had been after it for such a long time. And then, later in the day, when we were at my Nan's... Tom came home."
A sense of hatred entered my voice at the thought of him.
"Tom came and he wasn't in the best of moods. We gave him his presents, and he just didn't say thank you for any of them. He just opened them, threw the wrapping paper away, and piled them up in a stack. It made me wanna cry. Just to know that he couldn't even say thank you for his presents. I remember sitting there, watching him in my Granddad's armchair, like he was the top dog, and I hated it. Hated it so, so much. I asked my Nan if I could go upstairs and listen to my music, so... that's what I did. I took her CD player from out of the kitchen and dragged it upstairs into her room. And then I sat there. I sat there in the dark listening to American Idiot. I closed the door and still I could hear my mum and Tom arguing. It hurt so much, and then that's when I first heard Wake Me Up When September Ends. I was staring out of my Nan's bedroom window in the dark, staring at the stars and the moon whilst listening to that song. And it made me cry."
I looked up at Billie again, tears stinging my eyes and look of sadness on my face.
"I didn't know what to do Billie. I was desperate. I had to get away... I had to run away. I HAD too."
"I know you did babes." He assured me, stroking my arm.
"You don't think I was wrong in running away here?" I asked him suddenly out of the blue.
"Of course not. If you felt that way, and you know what you did was right, then there's nothing to be hesitant about. If you hadn't made a break for it, then who knows what you would be doing now."
I nodded my head in agreement, biting my lip slightly and staring back at the ground.
"Besides," he added. "If you hadn't come here then I would of never had met you."
I looked up at him, smiling.
"And meeting you has been the best thing that's happened to me in a long time."
* * * * * * * *
"Was that your stomach?" He asked, laughing.
"Yeah." I said a little embarrassed, covering up my stomach.
He laughed before cocking his head to one side. "You wanna go catch something to eat?"
"Don't mind."
"Well," he looked at his watch. "It's ten past 11. We've been sitting here for a while now. Want to go get something and then head back to the hotel?"
"No. I wanna come back here. Don't really wanna go back there just yet. I like it like this, just the two of us - on our own for once."
He smiled behind leaning forward and kissing me on the forehead. "Sure, whatever you want to do babes."
Standing up, I followed him, wrapping my coat around my body tighter to keep warm.
Walking side by side and laughing light heartedly amongst us, he led me to a road cart that was serving fast food.
Pulling some loose change from out of his pocket, he brought us each a cup's worth of Alphabet soup. Taking mine and cupping my hands around it, we turned to walk back the way we had come - back through the park.
"I've never had alphabet soup before." I told him, sipping on it lightly as it burnt my tongue - causing the saliva glands to react and make me pull a retarded face.
"You've never had alphabet soup before?!" he exclaimed. "You haven't lived. You can sit and make words with the leftovers at the bottom of the cup."
"Well I remember someone who hasn't tried poptarts or even heard of them." I reminded him.
"Don't try and win one over me again." He laughed. "I know you Stef."
"I know you do Billie Joe. Too well." I told him, drinking some more of the soup and taking in it's warmth. "But it's a good thing."
"I wouldn't want it not to be."
Walking back through the park, there was hardly anyone in sight again. The place was deserted - and it was kind of eerie.
Sitting back down on another bench opposite the lake, I started to drink my soup, warming me up inside.
"You remember when we first met?" Billie Joe suddenly asked me.
I raised my eyebrows.
How could I NOT remember?
"Hell yeah." I replied, continuing to drink the soup in between sentences. "I was too shit scared to talk to you."
Billie snickered. "Really?"
"Yup."
"Why's that?"
He joined me on the bench again, lowering himself and falling back next to me.
I looked into his eyes with a knowing smile.
"Come on Billie. You know why I was too nervous to talk to you."
"I didn't remember you saying." He teased. "You might have to tell me again."
Sighing to myself and trying not to laugh at his word play, I tapped the cup lightly on the side with my fingers.
"Because, you were, like, my hero. I always looked up to you, Mike and Tre. I was the biggest Green Day fan around. And then to meet you guys was just a blow to my head. Once was enough, but then to get to know you as friends was just unrealistic. Something I thought would never happen to me. And, I guess I had always liked you Billie Joe. And then to be able to share a relationship with you, it's just too dream like. Don't know how many times I've had to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. Because sometimes I wake up and think - what if it IS a dream? What if you're not here anymore, and someone's taken you away from me?"
"Well, you don't have to pinch yourself anymore." He told me, turning to face me and smiling lovingly. "Because I AM real, and what we have is real. And no-one's going to take me away from you."
I smiled back at him, feeling a little choked up inside about what he was saying to me.
There was a moment when we just sat there, engaged with each other - but not saying anything.
He looked down into his cup, after just having drunk all of his soup.
"Look," he hummed, so only a noise escaped between his lips.
He tipped the cup a little to the side, leaning it towards me to peer inside at the bottom of the cup. I smiled at the sight of seeing 'Luve yu' spelt at the bottom of his cup.
Just having finished mine, I looked at the bottom of my cup to see what I could spell. Smirking to myself I showed him mine, letting him read 'Han-kufs' spelt out at the bottom of my soup cup.
He laughed, finding it highly amusing before he turned to me, grinning.
"You trying to tell me something?" He asked.
I shrugged my shoulders before putting the cup to my lips and finishing up the rest of the soup, including the letters.
I put my cup onto the floor by the leg of the bench, whilst Billie chucked his in the bin next to him, reaching over.
He slumped down the bench a little further, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and letting me snuggle into him and rest my head against his shoulder. He sighed, taking in a fresh breath of air. I yawned, putting my hand to cover my mouth as I did. Billie looked down on me from the corners of his eyes.
"You tired?"
I nodded my head, closing my eyes for a few seconds - my eyelids feeling heavy.
"I just feel so knackered." I admitted, leaning against him and starting to fall asleep.
"Yeah, it's been a weird couple of weeks for all of us." He answered, yawning too. "But now we can just take it easy for a while. No gigs, no award shows, no auditions, no Adrienne... " he trailed off.
"No Adrienne... " I repeated sleepily, closing my eyes.
"Just the two of us, taking some time out together yeah?"
"Hmmm-hmmm." I hummed, letting my eyes close and letting down my guard of any sense.
"I'm gonna make sure everything goes easy, ok?"
But he didn't get an answer. I had already fallen asleep snuggled up against him.
"Stef?" He asked, looking down on me, before acknowledging that I had fallen asleep.
He leant his head down to kiss my forehead, before looking up at the stars and thanking God that he was here, right now, with me - and everything was ok.
And then he dropped his head, resting it on top of mine and falling asleep under the stars with me in the park.
But that wasn't until after he had rolled up his coat sleeve to look at his new tattoo of 'Stef' written in Chinese across his arm that he had had done previously the morning before.
"You enjoy tonight?" He asked, licking his lips and looking at me for my response.
"Yeah thanks." I replied, smiling back at him. "It was lovely."
I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his, before shaking my head a little to push away a loose strand of hair.
"You didn't have to take me out you know."
He grinned a little before sighing.
"I know I didn't, but I wanted to."
"Well, I'm very grateful." I told him, smiling softly again as he held me tight.
After a while of just walking through the city, I finally went to ask him what he had next in mind.
"So, are we going anywhere in particular?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Not necessarily." He quirked, cocking his to the side. "But there is something I want to show you."
Studying his profile as he stared at the ground a bit as we walked, I bit my lip in suspension of wondering what it was that he was taking me to show.
Passing a few other couples linked by each other's hand and arms, I suddenly felt as if I fitted in somewhere.
It felt right to be with Billie Joe, and it was also a sense of relief.
All I wanted to do for the rest of my life was to be with him. And even though it sounded impossible, I somehow had it in my mind that it would work out.
We would be together, and we would be able to love each other for as long as we desired.
But shit had also been invented in this day in age and it was ready to throw itself right into our faces at any moment.
And I was aware of that. I just didn't want to think like that right now.
Taking me down a sidewalk and casting us into shadow, he shoved his free hand into his coat pocket.
He looked so cute - wearing a long knitted black coat with a grey and black scarf that was wrapped around his neck.
He looked like the perfect family guy.
"You know, I've been thinking lately." He started, collecting his thoughts.
My heart suddenly felt heavy, hearing his words.
Thinking about what?
What was there to think about except for how well things were working out between us?
He stopped walking, digging into his pocket and pulling something out before turning to me.
"I know that we haven't had the best of times together before... before... " He hesitated slightly.
I knew what he was getting at, and I understood that he didn't want to have to mention it.
We hadn't had the best of times before he managed to escape the terrorist attack.
The incident of me trying to kill myself being the main cause for his heartache.
"Before... well, you know... that happened." He continued, feeling awkward.
He looked into my eyes, his own so refreshing and glinting in the moonlight, as well as the city's night-lights that lit up the sky.
"But I want to you know that I love you. And I'm not just saying that."
Listening to him carefully as I watched him to try to express his feelings, I couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty still.
The guilt was never going to go. It was obvious now that it wasn't, because I cared about Billie too much to just forget about what I had done.
But optimistically, it had brought us together - kicking us each up the arse and making us realise that we did care about each other; and that we did have something special going on.
Too special to waste.
We had love.
"And, I've been thinking... about what you said the other day, about marriage."
Oh, shit.
He looked nervously at the ground, whilst twisting a small box around with his thumb and index finger.
"And I know we can never be married," he continued, sighing and looking me in the eye. "But I wanted to make a bind with you. Personally link us together, so that we... can always have something to symbolise our love."
Breaking the barrier suddenly he opened up the box that he had been swivelling in between his fingers, revealing it to me as my eyes set over the ring that was sitting inside of it.
Suddenly taking an intake of air in shock, mouth opened wide - I just stared at it.
Billie took my hand himself, taking the ring out and slipping it onto my middle finger.
Shaking a little, I lifted my hand up into the light to studying the ring properly that was now sitting on my middle finger.
Fucking hell Billie Joe.
"If you look at the bottom part of it... I erm, had a date engraved on it." He added, scuffling his feet against the concrete as he watched me study it in amazement.
Turning my hand and opening up my palm I squinted, and sure thing, there was a date there.
17.1.2005
The day we had met.
"It's the erm, day we met." He added, watching me still.
I couldn't say anything. I was so speechless and touched emotionally I couldn't bring myself to speak.
Breaking out into a smile and feeling tears of happiness fill my eyes, I suddenly flung myself around him, curling my arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek.
Closing my eyes and feeling him wrapping his arms around me, my heart overwhelmed with happiness I thought it was going to explode.
"Thank you." I whispered into his ear, kissing him again on the side of the face before pressing myself against again in a hug.
"I love you babe." He replied, rubbing his hands up and down my back in comfort.
His words sent shivers down my spine.
"I love you too Billie."
Breaking away from him, I kissed him fully on the lips, feeling him graze past my teeth as we did.
Taking my hand again whilst smiling, he started to walk again, leading me down the sidewalk further.
As we walked into the dark, he led me around the corner, before entering the local park.
Together we strolled down through the park, mostly hidden in darkness - the moon reflecting off of the lake to the side of us.
"You know, I never thought I'd end up like this." I spoke.
He raised his eyebrows, looking at me in curiosity.
"Is this not the way you wanted things then?" He asked me.
"No. It's better then I ever imagined. Better than I would ever want."
A sweet smile appeared across his face, one that I couldn't describe.
It was touching, and made me smile with him too.
Taking me to sit down on a bench, we both looked up into the sky.
"Isn't it beautiful?" He asked.
"Yeah it is." I replied, a little awestruck at the sight of all the stars twinkling above us.
"I visit this place every time we're in the city at night."
We sat there for a while, just staring at the stars and taking the night scenery in. Everything still and peaceful, the way I liked it.
"Hey, look at the that." He suddenly cried out, grabbing my arm for attention and pointing into the sky. "A shooting star."
I bit my lip as we watched it past over us, amazed a little at the same time.
"I've never seen a shooting star before."
"Really?" He looked at me with wide eyes. "I've seen them a few times."
"Like when?"
Loosening his shoulders and relaxing a bit more, he slipped his hands into his pockets again to keep them warm.
"Well, one time I was sitting in the garden back home at night. Everyone else was still in bed and I hadn't been able to sleep. For the past couple of days we had been in the studio trying to work on songs for American Idiot. And everything that I fucking tried just sucked. And it was kinda bad with Adrienne, things weren't... great. And I couldn't sleep. Me being an Insomniac and everything, you know? So I got up and went into the garden, and lay across the grass - just staring at the sky. I had so many ideas but I just couldn't... mould them I guess."
I watched him as he explained, pouting a little as he continued.
"I had been trying to figure a lot things out in my mind at the time. I had so much going on in my head it was worrying me. And then I saw this shooting star, and it kinda amazed me. And suddenly these lyrics came into my head. 'Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars.' And... that was it. Those two lines just stuck out and then I knew how to deal with the loss of my father, by writing Wake me up when September ends."
"Aw Billie... "
He turned to look at me with a confused expression.
"That's really sad." I added, looking at him a little saddened.
He sighed deeply.
"So now whenever I see a shooting star, I think of it as a sign. That something good's coming, or happening."
He turned to look at me.
"Like something good's happening now."
Smiling at him, he looked into my eyes before leaning forward and kissing me softly.
"And I'm not going to let anyone or anything try and take you away from me."
* * * * * * * *
Still sitting on the park bench, both Billie and I were both close together, keeping in the heat that was around and for the past 10 minutes I had been talking about the loss of my Granddad.
"I remember, he used to go over the top at Christmas, make everything a grotto." I laughed at the thought. "He used to put snow spray all across the windows - and then it would be my Nan who had to spend hours later in the New Year, trying to get it all off."
Billie Joe smiled at the thought, watching me closely as I recalled the memory. Then my face expression changed.
"And then, afterwards, when he wasn't there... everything just changed."
Billie's smile faded to a more serious, concerned, and maybe a little saddened look.
"Christmas was never the same, and... and... even though I tried to make things better, people just weren't putting in the effort no more." I sighed, lowering my head. "My Nan didn't put as much effort or energy into it, and it broke me. My uncle and his best friend stopped coming round on Christmas day, and Tom was always at work. In a way, it was kind of good that he was at work; it gave me, my mum and sisters some time together. But then he would come home, at he'd be pissed off. I remember... this Christmas especially."
Billie pouted a little, looking at me sad and watching me as I tried to not let things get to me too much.
A weak smile suddenly appeared on my face for a few seconds.
"I remember... I got the American Idiot album." I smiled, looking up at him and beaming.
He smiled back at me, still not saying anything - but only listening to what I had to say.
He had had his moment, now it was my turn to talk and him to listen and be there for me.
"I was so happy after I had got that CD. I had been after it for such a long time. And then, later in the day, when we were at my Nan's... Tom came home."
A sense of hatred entered my voice at the thought of him.
"Tom came and he wasn't in the best of moods. We gave him his presents, and he just didn't say thank you for any of them. He just opened them, threw the wrapping paper away, and piled them up in a stack. It made me wanna cry. Just to know that he couldn't even say thank you for his presents. I remember sitting there, watching him in my Granddad's armchair, like he was the top dog, and I hated it. Hated it so, so much. I asked my Nan if I could go upstairs and listen to my music, so... that's what I did. I took her CD player from out of the kitchen and dragged it upstairs into her room. And then I sat there. I sat there in the dark listening to American Idiot. I closed the door and still I could hear my mum and Tom arguing. It hurt so much, and then that's when I first heard Wake Me Up When September Ends. I was staring out of my Nan's bedroom window in the dark, staring at the stars and the moon whilst listening to that song. And it made me cry."
I looked up at Billie again, tears stinging my eyes and look of sadness on my face.
"I didn't know what to do Billie. I was desperate. I had to get away... I had to run away. I HAD too."
"I know you did babes." He assured me, stroking my arm.
"You don't think I was wrong in running away here?" I asked him suddenly out of the blue.
"Of course not. If you felt that way, and you know what you did was right, then there's nothing to be hesitant about. If you hadn't made a break for it, then who knows what you would be doing now."
I nodded my head in agreement, biting my lip slightly and staring back at the ground.
"Besides," he added. "If you hadn't come here then I would of never had met you."
I looked up at him, smiling.
"And meeting you has been the best thing that's happened to me in a long time."
* * * * * * * *
"Was that your stomach?" He asked, laughing.
"Yeah." I said a little embarrassed, covering up my stomach.
He laughed before cocking his head to one side. "You wanna go catch something to eat?"
"Don't mind."
"Well," he looked at his watch. "It's ten past 11. We've been sitting here for a while now. Want to go get something and then head back to the hotel?"
"No. I wanna come back here. Don't really wanna go back there just yet. I like it like this, just the two of us - on our own for once."
He smiled behind leaning forward and kissing me on the forehead. "Sure, whatever you want to do babes."
Standing up, I followed him, wrapping my coat around my body tighter to keep warm.
Walking side by side and laughing light heartedly amongst us, he led me to a road cart that was serving fast food.
Pulling some loose change from out of his pocket, he brought us each a cup's worth of Alphabet soup. Taking mine and cupping my hands around it, we turned to walk back the way we had come - back through the park.
"I've never had alphabet soup before." I told him, sipping on it lightly as it burnt my tongue - causing the saliva glands to react and make me pull a retarded face.
"You've never had alphabet soup before?!" he exclaimed. "You haven't lived. You can sit and make words with the leftovers at the bottom of the cup."
"Well I remember someone who hasn't tried poptarts or even heard of them." I reminded him.
"Don't try and win one over me again." He laughed. "I know you Stef."
"I know you do Billie Joe. Too well." I told him, drinking some more of the soup and taking in it's warmth. "But it's a good thing."
"I wouldn't want it not to be."
Walking back through the park, there was hardly anyone in sight again. The place was deserted - and it was kind of eerie.
Sitting back down on another bench opposite the lake, I started to drink my soup, warming me up inside.
"You remember when we first met?" Billie Joe suddenly asked me.
I raised my eyebrows.
How could I NOT remember?
"Hell yeah." I replied, continuing to drink the soup in between sentences. "I was too shit scared to talk to you."
Billie snickered. "Really?"
"Yup."
"Why's that?"
He joined me on the bench again, lowering himself and falling back next to me.
I looked into his eyes with a knowing smile.
"Come on Billie. You know why I was too nervous to talk to you."
"I didn't remember you saying." He teased. "You might have to tell me again."
Sighing to myself and trying not to laugh at his word play, I tapped the cup lightly on the side with my fingers.
"Because, you were, like, my hero. I always looked up to you, Mike and Tre. I was the biggest Green Day fan around. And then to meet you guys was just a blow to my head. Once was enough, but then to get to know you as friends was just unrealistic. Something I thought would never happen to me. And, I guess I had always liked you Billie Joe. And then to be able to share a relationship with you, it's just too dream like. Don't know how many times I've had to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. Because sometimes I wake up and think - what if it IS a dream? What if you're not here anymore, and someone's taken you away from me?"
"Well, you don't have to pinch yourself anymore." He told me, turning to face me and smiling lovingly. "Because I AM real, and what we have is real. And no-one's going to take me away from you."
I smiled back at him, feeling a little choked up inside about what he was saying to me.
There was a moment when we just sat there, engaged with each other - but not saying anything.
He looked down into his cup, after just having drunk all of his soup.
"Look," he hummed, so only a noise escaped between his lips.
He tipped the cup a little to the side, leaning it towards me to peer inside at the bottom of the cup. I smiled at the sight of seeing 'Luve yu' spelt at the bottom of his cup.
Just having finished mine, I looked at the bottom of my cup to see what I could spell. Smirking to myself I showed him mine, letting him read 'Han-kufs' spelt out at the bottom of my soup cup.
He laughed, finding it highly amusing before he turned to me, grinning.
"You trying to tell me something?" He asked.
I shrugged my shoulders before putting the cup to my lips and finishing up the rest of the soup, including the letters.
I put my cup onto the floor by the leg of the bench, whilst Billie chucked his in the bin next to him, reaching over.
He slumped down the bench a little further, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and letting me snuggle into him and rest my head against his shoulder. He sighed, taking in a fresh breath of air. I yawned, putting my hand to cover my mouth as I did. Billie looked down on me from the corners of his eyes.
"You tired?"
I nodded my head, closing my eyes for a few seconds - my eyelids feeling heavy.
"I just feel so knackered." I admitted, leaning against him and starting to fall asleep.
"Yeah, it's been a weird couple of weeks for all of us." He answered, yawning too. "But now we can just take it easy for a while. No gigs, no award shows, no auditions, no Adrienne... " he trailed off.
"No Adrienne... " I repeated sleepily, closing my eyes.
"Just the two of us, taking some time out together yeah?"
"Hmmm-hmmm." I hummed, letting my eyes close and letting down my guard of any sense.
"I'm gonna make sure everything goes easy, ok?"
But he didn't get an answer. I had already fallen asleep snuggled up against him.
"Stef?" He asked, looking down on me, before acknowledging that I had fallen asleep.
He leant his head down to kiss my forehead, before looking up at the stars and thanking God that he was here, right now, with me - and everything was ok.
And then he dropped his head, resting it on top of mine and falling asleep under the stars with me in the park.
But that wasn't until after he had rolled up his coat sleeve to look at his new tattoo of 'Stef' written in Chinese across his arm that he had had done previously the morning before.
