A Note Don't Come Easy, chapter 47
"You like Chicken Stef?" Adrienne called out from the kitchen, serving a hot stove.
"You're not vegetarian are you?"
"Er... no." I called, sitting on the couch by myself, staring at the walls of their living room.
She popped her head around the corner, leaving the food cooking unattended for a minute or so.
"You like Stir Fry?" She asked, putting a hand to the wall as she leaned her body around the corner.
"Yeah. Stir Fry's good."
She flashed me smile before heading back into the kitchen, which was quite open except for the thin wall that kept it separate from the living room.
"I didn't think you were vegetarian," she talked out to me. "But I thought I'd check just in case."
"Nah, I'm not a veggie." I replied, my eyes fixed on a photo in a frame on the wall of the whole Armstrong family.
"I'm going to do dinner for about 7, okay?" She called out again, stirring the chicken around in the wok that she had just tipped in.
"Yeah, 7's fine."
This was just too weird. I was in Billie Joe's house, talking to his wife about dinner. It was just so surreal. But yet I felt a great deal of admiration to Adrienne, and in a way, looked up to her already.
"So, how long have you and Tre been together for then?"
It was probably a good thing that she wasn't in the same room as me, as she couldn't then see my reactions to what she was saying. But the panic seemed to disappear quickly, as I thought fast enough of an answer.
"Er... about 2-3 months now."
"Really? That's weird, because I remember seeing photos of you and Tre at the Grammies together."
Shit. The Grammies was back 10 months ago.
"Er, yeah. Well, he invited me along as a friend, and we got to know each other a little more, and we had been seeing each other a while since then, and then he asked me about October time." I made up quickly on the spot, hoping Billie Joe wasn't going to tell a different story to her.
"Aw, well that's really sweet." I heard her reply.
I sighed deeply, my heart racing as I looked back up at the family picture.
Where the hell are you Billie Joe?
"You know, I was thinking," Adrienne's voice made me jump as she walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a tea towel and leaning in the open doorway.
I turned round to look at her, watching as she delicately wiped off cooking oil from her hands.
"Did you want to go out tomorrow evening for a drink? I'm sure the guys wont mind. Give us a chance to get to know each other better?"
"Yeah, sure. That'll be really nice." I told her, smiling back.
Returning my smile, she headed back off into the kitchen, where I could hear the chicken sizzling in the wok.
"You know, it's so nice to have another female in the house for once." She complimented, calling out from the kitchen again. "And you're a lovely person. Tre must be so happy to be with you."
Oh, shit Billie. We're digging our own graves here.
* * * * * * * *
After eating, Adrienne had put Joey and Jakob to bed, both ecstatic at Billie Joe being home for Christmas. And Billie really did love them. He went upstairs, and tucked them both in, mucking about with them a little until Adrienne had to tell him to leave them alone and let them sleep.
Then all 5 of us sat on the couch together, in a spread out square across the furniture, Tre having to sit next to me to keep the cover going. It felt terrible, the feeling of watching Adie being fooled by us all, as she was the only one who didn't know. I felt so bad, so guilty -- the worse I had done all my life.
"It's good to back here." Mike said, nursing a glass of wine. "Just like old times."
"Yeah," Billie Joe added, smiling at Adrienne before placing his hand on her knee.
"Are you OK Tre?" Adrienne suddenly asked, realizing that he hadn't said anything much, and was sitting there staring into his glass.
"Wha-?" He mumbled and looking up. "Oh yeah. I'm fine, just - I think I need to go lie down."
"Are you ok?" She asked concerned, putting her glass down and looking into his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm just -- feel a bit queasy that's all. I think I'm going to turn in for the night."
He went to stand up, putting his glass down and hanging his head a little low.
"Well, hold on and Billie will take you up to your room."
"Er, yeah sure," Billie agreed, standing up and brushing himself down. "You want the front room yeah?"
Adrienne slapped him on the back of the leg. He looked at her curiously.
"Hunni, don't give them the front room. It's too small for them. Give them the one with the double bed."
Billie looked at her blankly, his muscles becoming tense and the realization hitting him. "Are you sure? The double bed?"
"Yes, I'm sure. They're a couple Billie. They don't want to be squashed in that tiny room. I'm sure they'll be fine with it." She hinted. "Nothing we don't know about."
She empathized the last sentence a little, smiling at me. But it just made me feel worse, Tre catching her look and looking away at a subtle bow of his head.
"Fine." Billie spoke. "They can have the double bed."
He walked towards the cluster of bags that were situated by the front door, from where Mike and Tre had brought them in from the car earlier and dumped them there. Picking up a bag to help, Billie Joe sighed deeply, Tre standing to watch him as I got up too and went to pick up one of my bags.
Reluctantly, Tre dragged himself to the pile, picking up his back and plodding up the stairs after Billie Joe, without saying a word to any of the others. He knew Billie wasn't comfortable with the situation.
Billie Joe led us both into the back room, where there, of course, was a double bed. He just seemed to stare at it. He opened the door, sprawling his hand across it as he let us pass through.
Billie plopped the bag he was carrying onto one side of the bed, just about the same time as I did too. Tre sank down onto the opposite side of the bed, his back turned to us and letting his bag fall to the ground by his feet.
Billie Joe looked at us both.
"Just, just play it... cool, yeah?" He warned us, eyeing Tre carefully.
I nodded, as Billie narrowed his eyes at Tre, giving him a look.
A look that said just because you're sharing a bed with her, doesn't mean you take advantage.
He left, closing the door a little before I heard him walk down the stairs. I sat on the edge of the bed, turning to Tre and leaning my hand out to touch his shoulder.
"Tre, I - "
"Leave me Stef. I'm tired. I'm gonna sleep now."
* * * * * * * *
The next morning, I slipped out of bed quietly, leaving Tre still sleeping in the other side. It was just weird, lying next to someone different. All I wanted to do was hug and rest beside him, but that was before reminding myself that it wasn't Billie Joe.
Adrienne had cooked waffles for me to eat in the morning, which just reminded me of the time Billie Joe had cooked them for me once. Accompanying Mike, Joey and Billie at the table to eat them, I had already felt welcomed into the Armstrong household.
It wasn't until a little later that Tre lurched from the bedroom, a lot happier than the night before and wearing a loose dark green Harley Davidson T-shirt that hang on his frame, complete with baggy jeans and converse.
"Hey Tre." Mike greeted him, looking above his second coffee cup at the drummer.
"Hey my fellow friends." He chirped, ruffling Jakob's hair up as he ran his hand through it. Leaning across the table, he reached for the last piece of touch before taking a bite, leaning his hand on the back of my chair.
He stood up once again, munching the toast that was now slightly cold, but he didn't bother complaining.
"Heya babes." He said, leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek, but was more nearer the lips.
Slightly off guard by the gesture, I looked at him as he smiled back down on me.
Keep cool. Keep cool. It's just a cover up. Nothing else.
And it was just something to keep the story alive that Tre and I were together.
"Hey." I replied, playing along. "You feel any better?"
"Yeah thanks."
He took another bite of his toast before finishing it. "I'm going to go walk for a bit. See how Oakland's changed and shi - stuff... "
He changed his language quickly on the note that Billie Joe's kids were still sitting at the breakfast table.
"You wanna come with me?"
I hesitated inside for a moment, before standing up. "Yeah, I'll come. Just let me get my shoes on... "
Tre smiled as he took my hand in his and we walked off together, to first get my shoes and then head out the door.
"Awww." Adrienne cooed, scrunching her nose up. "Aren't they cute together?"
But Billie Joe's stare said something else as he mumbled a reply.
"Yeah. Cute."
* * * * * * * *
It was about 2 in the afternoon, and Billie and Mike were watching TV whilst I sat on the separate couch seat, reading through a magazine Adrienne had given me.
Running down the stairs, Jakob came hurtling towards me, crashing into me a little as he stopped.
"Stef, I need you to help me with something."
I looked at him over the top of the magazine, putting it down on the coffee table.
"Sure Jakob. What is it?"
"I can't tell you here. You have to come upstairs." He leant forward to whisper, "It's a surprise."
"Jakob, she's only been here 5 minutes." Billie said to him, raising his eyebrows.
"No, it's ok Billie." I told him, following the youngest boy up the stairs again. "I don't mind."
Jakob eagerly led me up the stairs, looking back every so often to see if I was still actually following him. As he Smiled from ear to ear, we reached the landing, heading towards his room.
"It's in here." He whispered, putting his finger to his lips and leading me into his room.
Cautious, I looked behind to see if anyone was watching, before following him. I stared into his room as he ran towards a guitar, Joey sitting on the bed with another one held within in his hands.
"Hey Stef." He called, smiling at me as he stood up.
"Hey." I replied, before turning back to Jakob who was already eagerly picking up his guitar, a little smaller than Joey's. "So, what is it you want help with then Jakob?"
He looked up at me with pleading eyes. "Can you play the drums?"
"Erm... er... "
I couldn't play the drums; I only knew a few bits I had picked up from people a long time ago - but I didn't want to disappoint him.
"Erm... yeah, I know a bit."
"Great!" He yelped almost, as he picked up the small guitar. "You've gotta follow me then."
"Well, but what the-"
Jakob gripped a hold of my top, dragging me along with him. "The drum kit's in the basement, we gotta go there."
"Will you be aloud?" I whispered to him as we crept down the stairs; Joey picking up his instrument and a various sheets of paper up with him before following us.
"Dad won't mind, but I'll ask mum just in case." The younger brother replied, sneaking round the back of the couch past his father who was slowly falling asleep with the TV on in front of him.
Following him, I glanced down at Billie who didn't see either me or his other son wander past.
I heard Jakob quietly ask Adrienne if we can go into the basement, whispering into her ear as he did.
"Of course you can sweetie. Go right ahead. Just be careful in there ok?"
He nodded excitedly, before turning around to us again and going to open up the basement door.
Following them, I looked behind me, to see that Billie Joe still hadn't stirred, and that Mike had gotten up and moved somewhere else.
After entering, Jakob turned after having shut the basement door.
"We've written a song for dad." He told me.
"Ok," I hesitated, looking at them both.
"And we wanna perform it to him, and Mike and Tre. But we need a drummer... " Joey explained, running his fingers over the neck of the guitar he had just carried with him to the basement.
"So, you want me to play the drums for you?"
"Yeah." Jakob responded simply. "We need you to think of a drum beat and play for us. Here...here's some drumsticks."
"What about the bass?"
Joey shrugged. "We got two guitars. But we don't really need a bass. The stuff I taught Jakob to do has gotta bass sound to it anyway. It'll do."
The younger Armstrong member reached over and snatched a pair of sticks from off of the top to one of the toms.
I looked blankly at him as he handed them to me in his tiny hands, and the look he gave me just mirrored those in which Billie did. And it tore at my heart a little.
"Well, you better show me what you have then so I can work out some sort of beat."
I watched as two big smiles appeared across both of their faces, before they each put their guitar straps over them, hanging from the frame of their small rounded shoulders as they reached down to turn the amp's on.
* * * * * * * *
Jakob ran up from the basement, tearing into the living room and throwing himself into Billie's stomach, who was sprawled out on the couch watching TV still. Even thought he wasn't really taking any notice of what was going on in the program.
"Orf!" The guitarist grunted as his son winded him a little from the impact.
"Dad! Dad!" He chanted excitedly.
"What?"
"We have something to show you! You gotta come see it!"
"HMO?" Billie mumbled, meeting his son's gaze.
But before he could get an answer, Jakob was off and running into the kitchen.
"You have to come see!" He called out, his voice echoing from about the house. "Tre! Mike! Mommy, have you seen Mike and Tre?" Billie heard him ask his wife. "You have to come watch us mom."
Sighing deeply before stretching his arms out above him, Billie yawned as he sat up. After all, it had been almost 2 hours since he had been lying down.
But it was good to just lay there and rest. He hadn't been able to do it for a long time.
"Dad!" Jakob squealed when he saw that his father had only just sat up. "Come on!"
Billie looked over the back of the sofa to watch as his son scowled at him a little, Mike following close behind.
"All right, all right. I'm coming." Billie repeated, standing up and shoving his hands into his trouser pockets like he always did whilst following them into the basement.
He quirked an eyebrow at the sight of me sitting behind the drum kit, and Joey with a guitar hitched up against him, his left hand clutched around the neck.
Soon Adrienne joined, before Tre was the last to walk in.
"Someone say there was rock concert?" He asked, smiling at Jakob in particular as he nodded eagerly back.
"Ok," Jakob spoke into the microphone, whilst putting his guitar across him. "This song Joey and I wrote together. And Stef helped on the drums. And it's for the best daddy in the world. Our daddy."
Billie's heart lurched as he heard his son speak, looking at him a little dumbstruck, the others looking at the guitarist for a reaction. And it tore at me a little, knowing what this was going to mean to Billie. A smile spread across his face as Joey delivered the first guitar riff, before I joined in with a simple drumbeat someone had once taught me.
Jakob stood up to the microphone in front of him, Joey occasionally helping him with the vocals on parts here and there.
It's been a long time since I told ya'
But I can't go on any longer.
I have to tell you now
So this is why we wrote this song.
It moved into the chorus, both boys singing now as I concentrated on keeping the beat.
Even though you're far away
We do think about you each and every day.
You're the one who never fades away from our minds.
And if you were gone for long,
We'd be sad but not for that much longer,
As we'd know that you'd always come back
And be here for us forever more.
As the song finished, the 4 adults watching clapped and cheered - Billie Joe particularly teared up by it a little. I looked up and saw tears in his eyes, tears of happiness and jerked up that his son's had written a song for him. Tre walked over to me, stepping around the kit and giving me a tight hug.
"You didn't tell me you could drum."
"I can't!" I laughed.
Looking over his shoulder, I saw Billie Joe crouch down and open his arms out wide as his sons ran towards him, hugging them close to him.
"Do you like it daddy?" Jakob asked. "Do you?"
"I loved it Jakob." He told him, kissing him on the cheek. "You're a little star."
He then turned to Joey.
"And you... " he started, smiling before nudging his eldest playfully. "You're a rock star in the making, you guitar God."
Joey grinned at his father before wrapping his arms around Billie's neck.
Adrienne hugged her kids too, Mike hugging Jakob before playing nudging Joey in the arm just like Billie had done a few seconds ago.
"Quite the guitarist aren't you?" He said, raising an eyebrow at him. "Just like your father."
Billie beamed a smile as Jakob rested on his knee whilst still crouched down, Joey standing near Mike, Tre with me and Adrienne next to her husband.
And it was just like one big family.
A family that I was secretly ruining.
* * * * * * * *
Soon it came to evening, and like Adrienne had suggested, she was taking me out for a drink.
I am 21. I come from Philadelphia. I met Tre at a bar after a gig.
I slipped on a sleeveless top, looking myself over in the mirror as I brushed my clothes down.
"Can I look now?" Tre asked innocently, his back turned to me as he sat on the bed, his hands clamped over his eyes so he couldn't see me getting changed.
"Yes, you can look now Tre."
Taking his hands away, he swilled around to see me.
"Do I look ok?" I asked, still looking at my figure in the mirror.
"Yeah. You like, erm... fine." He complimented, smiling.
I sighed, running my hand down one side of my face, over my eye and down past my nose to my chin.
"I'm not so sure about this Tre. I mean, what if Adrienne suspects something? What if I say something to raise a suspicion? What if she finds out?"
"She won't." He told me, shaking his head. "Just stick to the story and you'll be fine."
I am 21. I come from Philadelphia. I met you at a bar after a gig. I love you, not Billie Joe. I don't love Billie Joe. Not love Billie Joe...
"Just, try and relax as much as you can. If she realizes that you're all tensed up, then that's when she's gonna hitch that something's wrong."
Facing him and taking his words for advice, I nodded, swallowing back the hesitation.
"Well, I guess I better go down and see if we're ready to go." I sighed, rubbing my eyes a little from being tired before pocketing some money into my pocket. "Gotta do it some time, eh?"
Tre nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."
Pausing, I smiled at him before I walked towards the door to open it and head downstairs. And that's when I heard a load of sudden noise escape from Tre's lips, not words, but noises as he lunged off of the bed and dragged me back into the room. Letting out a moan as he pulled me back, the door fell shut again -- just as Billie Joe was walking past.
And from where he was standing, it didn't look good at what Tre was doing to me.
"Tre," I cried. "What the ?—"
"You can't wear that top!" He told me stern, having hold of me by both my arms and looking me in the eye deadly serious.
"What?" I questioned, frowning a great deal at him for pulling me suddenly like that. "I don't understand you - "
"Your fucking arm!" He grunted at me. "Your fucking arm's bare!"
Looking down at my arm quickly, he spun me around at a force, making me look at myself in the mirror.
"Do you think that's going to please Adrienne?!" He asked, empathizing the word 'that' as he pointed to the top of my right arm.
I looked in the direction, and my eyes widened suddenly as they fell upon the name 'Billie Joe' that was inked into my arm.
"Oh shit... " I rasped, covering the tattoo up with my other hand. "Oh, fuck... "
I couldn't actually believe it. That I hadn't thought about it before. And how fucking lucky I was that I hadn't left it accidentally on show for all the wrong people to see.
* * * * * * * *
Billie Joe was pissed off. First off, Tre and I had to share a bed, and it wasn't that that had bothered him so much. He knew we would have had to do these sorts of things to make it realistic, but what he had just seen had knocked him completely from his trail of thought.
Why was Tre doing grabbing her like that? Why did she moan out? Only I make her moan like that...she's mine...why did he have to shut the door? He would have only done that if he didn't want people to see. What's he got to hide? What have they got to fucking hide from me?
But he wasn't going to lay into us. Maybe he had just seen things wrongly, and it was nothing that he was bubbling over. He sat in the living room once again, Joey and Jakob upstairs, tucked up and in their beds; whilst Mike was outside in the garden, speaking to Brittany on his cell.
Billie sat there thinking, his hand held under his chin as he run his fingers over his jaw line, his eyes fixed on the floor.
"Hey honey." Adrienne spoke up, popping her head round the door.
Billie Joe snapped up from his trail of thought, locking eyes with her before he answered.
"Ur - hey." He smiled, feeling a little guilty that she had caught him thinking about me, even though she didn't know it.
He saw me step into the room after Adie, standing in the doorway; now wearing a different top as she stepped towards him.
"You - you going somewhere?" He asked curiously to his wife, acknowledging me standing there and particularly in what his wife was wearing.
"Erm, yeah." She replied. "Stef and I were going to go for a drink."
"Oh... " was his reply.
He glanced over at me, seeing past Adrienne to look into my eyes without her realizing.
"You don't mind do you babes?" She asked, touching her hand upon his knee.
He calls me babes. Did you know that Adrienne Armstrong? You call me babes too, don't you Billie?
"Er, no course not." He murmured, smiling at his wife. A false smile.
Of course he minded. This was his wife and -- well, whatever-I-was-to-him going out for a drink together. Of course he dam would. He felt so awkward, and slightly angry that Adrienne was taking me out for a drink.
She's taking her out for a drink. What if she gets drunk? You say things you shouldn't do when you're drunk. You tell the truth. You don't give a fuck. You fuck up.
"Thanks Billie." Adrienne said to him, smiling before leaning in to kiss him on lips.
You've kissed me like that many a times before, haven't you Billie?
Now there was something else to eat away at him. He didn't want Adie and I to get close because, that would be just too weird. He didn't want us to become too attached. It tore at him even more and if the inevitable should ever happen, he didn't want the backlash of that we had been friends and had confided in each to her, and on my case, had lied to her unconditionally to blow up in our faces.
"We'll see you later then, yeah honey?" She called out as she stood up and walked towards me.
"Yeah." He sighed, but only that I realized. "See you."
Adrienne smiled at me with a glimmer of excitement behind her eyes, as she headed out towards the main entrance of their house, taking her keys out of her bag.
"I'll see you later Billie Joe." I muttered to him, taking in the fact that he didn't turn to face me before I walked out of the house after Adrienne, as she closed the door behind me.
He scowled to himself before narrowing his eyes, staring at the floor.
Yes, I WILL be seeing you later. A lot later...
... When you're finally mine again.
"You're not vegetarian are you?"
"Er... no." I called, sitting on the couch by myself, staring at the walls of their living room.
She popped her head around the corner, leaving the food cooking unattended for a minute or so.
"You like Stir Fry?" She asked, putting a hand to the wall as she leaned her body around the corner.
"Yeah. Stir Fry's good."
She flashed me smile before heading back into the kitchen, which was quite open except for the thin wall that kept it separate from the living room.
"I didn't think you were vegetarian," she talked out to me. "But I thought I'd check just in case."
"Nah, I'm not a veggie." I replied, my eyes fixed on a photo in a frame on the wall of the whole Armstrong family.
"I'm going to do dinner for about 7, okay?" She called out again, stirring the chicken around in the wok that she had just tipped in.
"Yeah, 7's fine."
This was just too weird. I was in Billie Joe's house, talking to his wife about dinner. It was just so surreal. But yet I felt a great deal of admiration to Adrienne, and in a way, looked up to her already.
"So, how long have you and Tre been together for then?"
It was probably a good thing that she wasn't in the same room as me, as she couldn't then see my reactions to what she was saying. But the panic seemed to disappear quickly, as I thought fast enough of an answer.
"Er... about 2-3 months now."
"Really? That's weird, because I remember seeing photos of you and Tre at the Grammies together."
Shit. The Grammies was back 10 months ago.
"Er, yeah. Well, he invited me along as a friend, and we got to know each other a little more, and we had been seeing each other a while since then, and then he asked me about October time." I made up quickly on the spot, hoping Billie Joe wasn't going to tell a different story to her.
"Aw, well that's really sweet." I heard her reply.
I sighed deeply, my heart racing as I looked back up at the family picture.
Where the hell are you Billie Joe?
"You know, I was thinking," Adrienne's voice made me jump as she walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a tea towel and leaning in the open doorway.
I turned round to look at her, watching as she delicately wiped off cooking oil from her hands.
"Did you want to go out tomorrow evening for a drink? I'm sure the guys wont mind. Give us a chance to get to know each other better?"
"Yeah, sure. That'll be really nice." I told her, smiling back.
Returning my smile, she headed back off into the kitchen, where I could hear the chicken sizzling in the wok.
"You know, it's so nice to have another female in the house for once." She complimented, calling out from the kitchen again. "And you're a lovely person. Tre must be so happy to be with you."
Oh, shit Billie. We're digging our own graves here.
* * * * * * * *
After eating, Adrienne had put Joey and Jakob to bed, both ecstatic at Billie Joe being home for Christmas. And Billie really did love them. He went upstairs, and tucked them both in, mucking about with them a little until Adrienne had to tell him to leave them alone and let them sleep.
Then all 5 of us sat on the couch together, in a spread out square across the furniture, Tre having to sit next to me to keep the cover going. It felt terrible, the feeling of watching Adie being fooled by us all, as she was the only one who didn't know. I felt so bad, so guilty -- the worse I had done all my life.
"It's good to back here." Mike said, nursing a glass of wine. "Just like old times."
"Yeah," Billie Joe added, smiling at Adrienne before placing his hand on her knee.
"Are you OK Tre?" Adrienne suddenly asked, realizing that he hadn't said anything much, and was sitting there staring into his glass.
"Wha-?" He mumbled and looking up. "Oh yeah. I'm fine, just - I think I need to go lie down."
"Are you ok?" She asked concerned, putting her glass down and looking into his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm just -- feel a bit queasy that's all. I think I'm going to turn in for the night."
He went to stand up, putting his glass down and hanging his head a little low.
"Well, hold on and Billie will take you up to your room."
"Er, yeah sure," Billie agreed, standing up and brushing himself down. "You want the front room yeah?"
Adrienne slapped him on the back of the leg. He looked at her curiously.
"Hunni, don't give them the front room. It's too small for them. Give them the one with the double bed."
Billie looked at her blankly, his muscles becoming tense and the realization hitting him. "Are you sure? The double bed?"
"Yes, I'm sure. They're a couple Billie. They don't want to be squashed in that tiny room. I'm sure they'll be fine with it." She hinted. "Nothing we don't know about."
She empathized the last sentence a little, smiling at me. But it just made me feel worse, Tre catching her look and looking away at a subtle bow of his head.
"Fine." Billie spoke. "They can have the double bed."
He walked towards the cluster of bags that were situated by the front door, from where Mike and Tre had brought them in from the car earlier and dumped them there. Picking up a bag to help, Billie Joe sighed deeply, Tre standing to watch him as I got up too and went to pick up one of my bags.
Reluctantly, Tre dragged himself to the pile, picking up his back and plodding up the stairs after Billie Joe, without saying a word to any of the others. He knew Billie wasn't comfortable with the situation.
Billie Joe led us both into the back room, where there, of course, was a double bed. He just seemed to stare at it. He opened the door, sprawling his hand across it as he let us pass through.
Billie plopped the bag he was carrying onto one side of the bed, just about the same time as I did too. Tre sank down onto the opposite side of the bed, his back turned to us and letting his bag fall to the ground by his feet.
Billie Joe looked at us both.
"Just, just play it... cool, yeah?" He warned us, eyeing Tre carefully.
I nodded, as Billie narrowed his eyes at Tre, giving him a look.
A look that said just because you're sharing a bed with her, doesn't mean you take advantage.
He left, closing the door a little before I heard him walk down the stairs. I sat on the edge of the bed, turning to Tre and leaning my hand out to touch his shoulder.
"Tre, I - "
"Leave me Stef. I'm tired. I'm gonna sleep now."
* * * * * * * *
The next morning, I slipped out of bed quietly, leaving Tre still sleeping in the other side. It was just weird, lying next to someone different. All I wanted to do was hug and rest beside him, but that was before reminding myself that it wasn't Billie Joe.
Adrienne had cooked waffles for me to eat in the morning, which just reminded me of the time Billie Joe had cooked them for me once. Accompanying Mike, Joey and Billie at the table to eat them, I had already felt welcomed into the Armstrong household.
It wasn't until a little later that Tre lurched from the bedroom, a lot happier than the night before and wearing a loose dark green Harley Davidson T-shirt that hang on his frame, complete with baggy jeans and converse.
"Hey Tre." Mike greeted him, looking above his second coffee cup at the drummer.
"Hey my fellow friends." He chirped, ruffling Jakob's hair up as he ran his hand through it. Leaning across the table, he reached for the last piece of touch before taking a bite, leaning his hand on the back of my chair.
He stood up once again, munching the toast that was now slightly cold, but he didn't bother complaining.
"Heya babes." He said, leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek, but was more nearer the lips.
Slightly off guard by the gesture, I looked at him as he smiled back down on me.
Keep cool. Keep cool. It's just a cover up. Nothing else.
And it was just something to keep the story alive that Tre and I were together.
"Hey." I replied, playing along. "You feel any better?"
"Yeah thanks."
He took another bite of his toast before finishing it. "I'm going to go walk for a bit. See how Oakland's changed and shi - stuff... "
He changed his language quickly on the note that Billie Joe's kids were still sitting at the breakfast table.
"You wanna come with me?"
I hesitated inside for a moment, before standing up. "Yeah, I'll come. Just let me get my shoes on... "
Tre smiled as he took my hand in his and we walked off together, to first get my shoes and then head out the door.
"Awww." Adrienne cooed, scrunching her nose up. "Aren't they cute together?"
But Billie Joe's stare said something else as he mumbled a reply.
"Yeah. Cute."
* * * * * * * *
It was about 2 in the afternoon, and Billie and Mike were watching TV whilst I sat on the separate couch seat, reading through a magazine Adrienne had given me.
Running down the stairs, Jakob came hurtling towards me, crashing into me a little as he stopped.
"Stef, I need you to help me with something."
I looked at him over the top of the magazine, putting it down on the coffee table.
"Sure Jakob. What is it?"
"I can't tell you here. You have to come upstairs." He leant forward to whisper, "It's a surprise."
"Jakob, she's only been here 5 minutes." Billie said to him, raising his eyebrows.
"No, it's ok Billie." I told him, following the youngest boy up the stairs again. "I don't mind."
Jakob eagerly led me up the stairs, looking back every so often to see if I was still actually following him. As he Smiled from ear to ear, we reached the landing, heading towards his room.
"It's in here." He whispered, putting his finger to his lips and leading me into his room.
Cautious, I looked behind to see if anyone was watching, before following him. I stared into his room as he ran towards a guitar, Joey sitting on the bed with another one held within in his hands.
"Hey Stef." He called, smiling at me as he stood up.
"Hey." I replied, before turning back to Jakob who was already eagerly picking up his guitar, a little smaller than Joey's. "So, what is it you want help with then Jakob?"
He looked up at me with pleading eyes. "Can you play the drums?"
"Erm... er... "
I couldn't play the drums; I only knew a few bits I had picked up from people a long time ago - but I didn't want to disappoint him.
"Erm... yeah, I know a bit."
"Great!" He yelped almost, as he picked up the small guitar. "You've gotta follow me then."
"Well, but what the-"
Jakob gripped a hold of my top, dragging me along with him. "The drum kit's in the basement, we gotta go there."
"Will you be aloud?" I whispered to him as we crept down the stairs; Joey picking up his instrument and a various sheets of paper up with him before following us.
"Dad won't mind, but I'll ask mum just in case." The younger brother replied, sneaking round the back of the couch past his father who was slowly falling asleep with the TV on in front of him.
Following him, I glanced down at Billie who didn't see either me or his other son wander past.
I heard Jakob quietly ask Adrienne if we can go into the basement, whispering into her ear as he did.
"Of course you can sweetie. Go right ahead. Just be careful in there ok?"
He nodded excitedly, before turning around to us again and going to open up the basement door.
Following them, I looked behind me, to see that Billie Joe still hadn't stirred, and that Mike had gotten up and moved somewhere else.
After entering, Jakob turned after having shut the basement door.
"We've written a song for dad." He told me.
"Ok," I hesitated, looking at them both.
"And we wanna perform it to him, and Mike and Tre. But we need a drummer... " Joey explained, running his fingers over the neck of the guitar he had just carried with him to the basement.
"So, you want me to play the drums for you?"
"Yeah." Jakob responded simply. "We need you to think of a drum beat and play for us. Here...here's some drumsticks."
"What about the bass?"
Joey shrugged. "We got two guitars. But we don't really need a bass. The stuff I taught Jakob to do has gotta bass sound to it anyway. It'll do."
The younger Armstrong member reached over and snatched a pair of sticks from off of the top to one of the toms.
I looked blankly at him as he handed them to me in his tiny hands, and the look he gave me just mirrored those in which Billie did. And it tore at my heart a little.
"Well, you better show me what you have then so I can work out some sort of beat."
I watched as two big smiles appeared across both of their faces, before they each put their guitar straps over them, hanging from the frame of their small rounded shoulders as they reached down to turn the amp's on.
* * * * * * * *
Jakob ran up from the basement, tearing into the living room and throwing himself into Billie's stomach, who was sprawled out on the couch watching TV still. Even thought he wasn't really taking any notice of what was going on in the program.
"Orf!" The guitarist grunted as his son winded him a little from the impact.
"Dad! Dad!" He chanted excitedly.
"What?"
"We have something to show you! You gotta come see it!"
"HMO?" Billie mumbled, meeting his son's gaze.
But before he could get an answer, Jakob was off and running into the kitchen.
"You have to come see!" He called out, his voice echoing from about the house. "Tre! Mike! Mommy, have you seen Mike and Tre?" Billie heard him ask his wife. "You have to come watch us mom."
Sighing deeply before stretching his arms out above him, Billie yawned as he sat up. After all, it had been almost 2 hours since he had been lying down.
But it was good to just lay there and rest. He hadn't been able to do it for a long time.
"Dad!" Jakob squealed when he saw that his father had only just sat up. "Come on!"
Billie looked over the back of the sofa to watch as his son scowled at him a little, Mike following close behind.
"All right, all right. I'm coming." Billie repeated, standing up and shoving his hands into his trouser pockets like he always did whilst following them into the basement.
He quirked an eyebrow at the sight of me sitting behind the drum kit, and Joey with a guitar hitched up against him, his left hand clutched around the neck.
Soon Adrienne joined, before Tre was the last to walk in.
"Someone say there was rock concert?" He asked, smiling at Jakob in particular as he nodded eagerly back.
"Ok," Jakob spoke into the microphone, whilst putting his guitar across him. "This song Joey and I wrote together. And Stef helped on the drums. And it's for the best daddy in the world. Our daddy."
Billie's heart lurched as he heard his son speak, looking at him a little dumbstruck, the others looking at the guitarist for a reaction. And it tore at me a little, knowing what this was going to mean to Billie. A smile spread across his face as Joey delivered the first guitar riff, before I joined in with a simple drumbeat someone had once taught me.
Jakob stood up to the microphone in front of him, Joey occasionally helping him with the vocals on parts here and there.
It's been a long time since I told ya'
But I can't go on any longer.
I have to tell you now
So this is why we wrote this song.
It moved into the chorus, both boys singing now as I concentrated on keeping the beat.
Even though you're far away
We do think about you each and every day.
You're the one who never fades away from our minds.
And if you were gone for long,
We'd be sad but not for that much longer,
As we'd know that you'd always come back
And be here for us forever more.
As the song finished, the 4 adults watching clapped and cheered - Billie Joe particularly teared up by it a little. I looked up and saw tears in his eyes, tears of happiness and jerked up that his son's had written a song for him. Tre walked over to me, stepping around the kit and giving me a tight hug.
"You didn't tell me you could drum."
"I can't!" I laughed.
Looking over his shoulder, I saw Billie Joe crouch down and open his arms out wide as his sons ran towards him, hugging them close to him.
"Do you like it daddy?" Jakob asked. "Do you?"
"I loved it Jakob." He told him, kissing him on the cheek. "You're a little star."
He then turned to Joey.
"And you... " he started, smiling before nudging his eldest playfully. "You're a rock star in the making, you guitar God."
Joey grinned at his father before wrapping his arms around Billie's neck.
Adrienne hugged her kids too, Mike hugging Jakob before playing nudging Joey in the arm just like Billie had done a few seconds ago.
"Quite the guitarist aren't you?" He said, raising an eyebrow at him. "Just like your father."
Billie beamed a smile as Jakob rested on his knee whilst still crouched down, Joey standing near Mike, Tre with me and Adrienne next to her husband.
And it was just like one big family.
A family that I was secretly ruining.
* * * * * * * *
Soon it came to evening, and like Adrienne had suggested, she was taking me out for a drink.
I am 21. I come from Philadelphia. I met Tre at a bar after a gig.
I slipped on a sleeveless top, looking myself over in the mirror as I brushed my clothes down.
"Can I look now?" Tre asked innocently, his back turned to me as he sat on the bed, his hands clamped over his eyes so he couldn't see me getting changed.
"Yes, you can look now Tre."
Taking his hands away, he swilled around to see me.
"Do I look ok?" I asked, still looking at my figure in the mirror.
"Yeah. You like, erm... fine." He complimented, smiling.
I sighed, running my hand down one side of my face, over my eye and down past my nose to my chin.
"I'm not so sure about this Tre. I mean, what if Adrienne suspects something? What if I say something to raise a suspicion? What if she finds out?"
"She won't." He told me, shaking his head. "Just stick to the story and you'll be fine."
I am 21. I come from Philadelphia. I met you at a bar after a gig. I love you, not Billie Joe. I don't love Billie Joe. Not love Billie Joe...
"Just, try and relax as much as you can. If she realizes that you're all tensed up, then that's when she's gonna hitch that something's wrong."
Facing him and taking his words for advice, I nodded, swallowing back the hesitation.
"Well, I guess I better go down and see if we're ready to go." I sighed, rubbing my eyes a little from being tired before pocketing some money into my pocket. "Gotta do it some time, eh?"
Tre nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."
Pausing, I smiled at him before I walked towards the door to open it and head downstairs. And that's when I heard a load of sudden noise escape from Tre's lips, not words, but noises as he lunged off of the bed and dragged me back into the room. Letting out a moan as he pulled me back, the door fell shut again -- just as Billie Joe was walking past.
And from where he was standing, it didn't look good at what Tre was doing to me.
"Tre," I cried. "What the ?—"
"You can't wear that top!" He told me stern, having hold of me by both my arms and looking me in the eye deadly serious.
"What?" I questioned, frowning a great deal at him for pulling me suddenly like that. "I don't understand you - "
"Your fucking arm!" He grunted at me. "Your fucking arm's bare!"
Looking down at my arm quickly, he spun me around at a force, making me look at myself in the mirror.
"Do you think that's going to please Adrienne?!" He asked, empathizing the word 'that' as he pointed to the top of my right arm.
I looked in the direction, and my eyes widened suddenly as they fell upon the name 'Billie Joe' that was inked into my arm.
"Oh shit... " I rasped, covering the tattoo up with my other hand. "Oh, fuck... "
I couldn't actually believe it. That I hadn't thought about it before. And how fucking lucky I was that I hadn't left it accidentally on show for all the wrong people to see.
* * * * * * * *
Billie Joe was pissed off. First off, Tre and I had to share a bed, and it wasn't that that had bothered him so much. He knew we would have had to do these sorts of things to make it realistic, but what he had just seen had knocked him completely from his trail of thought.
Why was Tre doing grabbing her like that? Why did she moan out? Only I make her moan like that...she's mine...why did he have to shut the door? He would have only done that if he didn't want people to see. What's he got to hide? What have they got to fucking hide from me?
But he wasn't going to lay into us. Maybe he had just seen things wrongly, and it was nothing that he was bubbling over. He sat in the living room once again, Joey and Jakob upstairs, tucked up and in their beds; whilst Mike was outside in the garden, speaking to Brittany on his cell.
Billie sat there thinking, his hand held under his chin as he run his fingers over his jaw line, his eyes fixed on the floor.
"Hey honey." Adrienne spoke up, popping her head round the door.
Billie Joe snapped up from his trail of thought, locking eyes with her before he answered.
"Ur - hey." He smiled, feeling a little guilty that she had caught him thinking about me, even though she didn't know it.
He saw me step into the room after Adie, standing in the doorway; now wearing a different top as she stepped towards him.
"You - you going somewhere?" He asked curiously to his wife, acknowledging me standing there and particularly in what his wife was wearing.
"Erm, yeah." She replied. "Stef and I were going to go for a drink."
"Oh... " was his reply.
He glanced over at me, seeing past Adrienne to look into my eyes without her realizing.
"You don't mind do you babes?" She asked, touching her hand upon his knee.
He calls me babes. Did you know that Adrienne Armstrong? You call me babes too, don't you Billie?
"Er, no course not." He murmured, smiling at his wife. A false smile.
Of course he minded. This was his wife and -- well, whatever-I-was-to-him going out for a drink together. Of course he dam would. He felt so awkward, and slightly angry that Adrienne was taking me out for a drink.
She's taking her out for a drink. What if she gets drunk? You say things you shouldn't do when you're drunk. You tell the truth. You don't give a fuck. You fuck up.
"Thanks Billie." Adrienne said to him, smiling before leaning in to kiss him on lips.
You've kissed me like that many a times before, haven't you Billie?
Now there was something else to eat away at him. He didn't want Adie and I to get close because, that would be just too weird. He didn't want us to become too attached. It tore at him even more and if the inevitable should ever happen, he didn't want the backlash of that we had been friends and had confided in each to her, and on my case, had lied to her unconditionally to blow up in our faces.
"We'll see you later then, yeah honey?" She called out as she stood up and walked towards me.
"Yeah." He sighed, but only that I realized. "See you."
Adrienne smiled at me with a glimmer of excitement behind her eyes, as she headed out towards the main entrance of their house, taking her keys out of her bag.
"I'll see you later Billie Joe." I muttered to him, taking in the fact that he didn't turn to face me before I walked out of the house after Adrienne, as she closed the door behind me.
He scowled to himself before narrowing his eyes, staring at the floor.
Yes, I WILL be seeing you later. A lot later...
... When you're finally mine again.
