A Note Don't Come Easy, chapter 7
I could feel every breath he took and inhaled on my face.
“God, I never realised how breath taking your eyes were.� He commented staring into them.
My eyes??? He should look at his eyes once in a while. You know when you get that awkward feeling when you know that the person’s eyes you are looking at knows you are? And you don’t know whether to keep looking? That’s the feeling I had at the moment. I just couldn’t tear myself away. He leaned forward again and now we were almost touching lips. I can’t remember the last time I kissed a guy; in fact, I don’t even think I had! (I didn’t say that ok?!?) I mean, I had loads of mates who were guys who I could tell anything too, but I had never had a real relationship with one. Maybe it was a good thing I hadn’t had my heart broken just yet! Unlike my sister who cried when the boy she liked went out with someone else when she was 12!!! To her it was like the end of the world! It pays not to be a girlie girl or a tart. There seemed to be seconds where we just stayed in the same position, almost kissing, but not just there yet. He closed his eyes slightly and moved in for a kiss. We touched lips and I think I melted in the process! My brain exploded again, just like it had the previous day when I had first laid my eyes on Billie Joe. The REAL Billie Joe, and not my posters. I let Billie Joe do all the work, as he probably knew the ins and outs of kissing. Suddenly, there was a buzzing sound that came from Billie’s pocket. He stopped and awkwardly looked to the side of him that was vibrating.
“Ah,� he groaned, pulling a face and biting his lip.
He laid there motionless deep in thought. He chewed his tongue again and heaved himself from off of me. He rolled into a sitting position next to me and pulled his mobile from his trouser pocket. He sighed looking at the screen and flipped it open before pressing it against his ear.
“Hello?� He asked the person on the other end.
He got from his position and walked into the part of the kitchen where I couldn’t see him. What the fuck just happened? My heart was still racing inside of me. I just committed the most devilish but pleasing crime ever. Pleasing just being a hint of what I was feeling right now. I still lay in my position on the floor next to the glass coffee table from where we had stopped our tickling fight. I propped myself up on my elbows and strained to listen to what Billie Joe was saying.
“Yeah…� I could hear him just. “Everything’s ok…Yeah, don’t worry…. I’m not going to get pissed every night! What makes you think that?�
Billie Joe, you are one convincing guy. No one can ever suspect you when you’re sweet can they?
“I’ll be fine…� he continued. “And yeah, don’t worry about a thing. And yeah, I’ll make sure Mike and Tre don’t go binge drinking either….What do you mean they’re an influence on me? ….Ok then…. Yeah I promise…Love you lots.�
Adrienne. Of course, it HAD to be her. Who else could it be? How stupid was I? Stef, you need to think more often. How many times had I fucked up these last two days? How fucking stupid was I to think that me and Billie Joe could make something together when there was Adrienne? It was kind of ironic really, because we were kissing and Adrienne stopped us even though she was on the phone. Adrienne was always going to stop us, no matter how many miles away she was. I bet you she would even stop Billie in his thoughts and his dreams. Wait; did Billie Joe even have dreams? What the fuck?!? Why was I even imagining this? Billie Joe and I didn’t even have a ‘thing’ going on! Still, Adrienne was his wife and he was her husband. ‘Till death do us part, and that was their promise to each other. I had always stuck up for Adrienne when fans said nasty things about her, I liked her. She WAS Billie Joe’s wife after all, and they were always so happy together. I always used to say ‘We probably wouldn’t even know Adrienne if it wasn’t for Billie Joe, and Billie Joe probably wouldn’t be Billie Joe without Adrienne. So fuck off and leave them alone.’ Sure, I thought Billie Joe was hot, but it didn’t mean I was a psychotic freak who wanted to kill Adrienne! People who said that were sick minded and twisted. I always thought that she was pretty and if Billie Joe was happy, that was all that mattered. But at the moment, she wasn’t my favourite person. Billie Joe came back from the kitchen and put his mobile back into his pocket.
“Adrienne.� He simply said, smiling.
I smiled back and sat up so I could talk to him properly.
“So, when’s the first audition then?� He asked sitting on the sofa next to me.
Wait? Did he not remember what just happened? That we sort of kissed? Obviously not.
“Erm, Audition?� I asked, puzzled and trying to think things out.
“You know,� he said smiling. “The audition to win tickets to one of our gigs?�
“Oh that! Erm, I think it’s on….Thursday.�
“Two days then.� He added, looking at his feet.
God, I wanted his shoes. They were so nice. I just wanted to steal them!
“Right, well I better give you another lesson then after we came back from Amp’s way.�
“Amp’s way?� I asked, still puzzled. Was I just having a dumb day?
“The guitar shop?� He questioned me, getting up off the sofa and grabbing the brown bag that he had brought with him.
“Oh yeah. Sorry, brain ain’t functioning right now.� I told him, trying to make a joke out of nothing. Nothing being a kiss.
What was in that bag anyway? And why hadn’t Billie taken it in that we had kissed? It was as if it had never happened. Why was he acting like this? Maybe he felt awkward or made a mistake. I certainly did at this moment in time. Maybe I should ask him. If I didn’t, it was going to piss me off for the rest of the day. I followed him to the door and I jumped at my chance as he was just opening it.
“ Billie Joe,….I erm…�
He turned round to look at me, stopping to listen.
“Well, I just wanted to know…� I quickly stopped at the sight of Mike in the doorway.
“ Billie,� he called. “I’ve been looking for you. There’s some press guys down stairs who just won’t piss off. Me and Tre have tried to get rid of them but they won’t go until they’ve seen us all.�
Mike leaned into the doorway, stretching his arm out to the other side. Billie looked deep in thought.
“What do they want? My blood and guts?� Billie Joe joked.
Mike laughed.
“No, not this time Billie. Just a photo and few quick questions on the release of Holiday.�
“Oh, ok then. Probably a load of questions on the lyrics AGAIN. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be down.�
“Sure, then hopefully they will fuck and leave us in peace!� Mike laughed, walking back down the corridor and the stairs.
“I’ll see you later then kid. 3 o’ clock. Don’t forget.� Billie Joe smiled at me before shutting thee door and following Mike.
Forget? I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Did I look like the person who would forget that they were going shopping with the hottest guy on the planet? No, didn’t think so.
I walked into my room and threw myself on the bed again. I buried my face deep into the pillows, hoping to find some sense lurking in there. I so desperately wanted to Emma everything, but she wouldn’t believe me. There was no one I could turn to at the moment. Unless a random person didn’t mind me telling them everything. They’d probably turn out to be a Green Day fan and ended up beating me to a pulp. I was stuck and trapped in my own world. I picked up the phone again beside my bed and dialled Emma’s house number. There was no harm in trying again. I was someone who never gave up. I never gave up on my dream on coming to America and meeting Green Day, and looked at what had happened over the period of 2 days. However, it seemed to be doing more harm than favour at the moment. The dialling tone started again and Emma picked up.
“Hello?� Emma asked dreary.
“Emma, what the fuck did you hang up on me?�
“Oh, hi Stef. Come out of Green Day land yet?
“No I haven’t. I need someone to talk to. Someone to tell everything to.� I said, biting my nails I had taken so long to grow.
“Stef, you called me not even an hour ago. What could have possibly happened in the last 50 minutes? And if anything did, I probably wouldn’t believe you.�
“You probably wouldn’t,� I sighed. “But it’s the truth and nothing but the truth.�
“Since when did you get innocent?� Emma asked trying not to laugh.
“Since I want to tell you everything that’s happened with me and Billie Joe, and since I want you to believe me!�
“What IS going on with you and Billie Joe?� Emma asked me, and herself.
“Well,� I began.
“Stef, nothing is going on between you and Billie Joe. You’re probably just imagining it. Stef, he has a wife! And you of all people know how close they are! You’ve followed them for years! Well, Billie Joe but I mean, come on, would he really want to break up his marriage for some punk girl who’s - �
“We kissed!!!� I blurted out, not being able to take any more.
I frowned and ran my fingers over my forehead in thought.
“You what?� She cried. “Stef, this is ridiculous! How could you kiss Billie Joe? I can’t believe you sometimes.�
“But Emma, you got to believe me. Please!�
“Stef, how can I believe you?
“Just please believe me. I called because I wanted to tell someone and talk about it. We did kiss, believe me we did!�
“And yeah, like Billie Joe’s giving you lessons and Green Day are in the room next to you, and you’re in a posh hotel even you me and Anna couldn’t afford together! Like I’m supposed to believe all of that at one time!�
Oh shit. Anna didn’t know where I was either. She didn’t have a clue on what was going on. I’m sure Emma would fill her in though.
“Stef,� Emma started again. “You need to sort yourself out. Get used to the fact. Billie Joe and you never kissed and there is nothing going on between you.�
“But - � I tried to squeeze in the debate.
“Stef, I’ll believe it when I see it. But for now, I don’t.�
And then she hang up, for the second time today.
“God, I never realised how breath taking your eyes were.� He commented staring into them.
My eyes??? He should look at his eyes once in a while. You know when you get that awkward feeling when you know that the person’s eyes you are looking at knows you are? And you don’t know whether to keep looking? That’s the feeling I had at the moment. I just couldn’t tear myself away. He leaned forward again and now we were almost touching lips. I can’t remember the last time I kissed a guy; in fact, I don’t even think I had! (I didn’t say that ok?!?) I mean, I had loads of mates who were guys who I could tell anything too, but I had never had a real relationship with one. Maybe it was a good thing I hadn’t had my heart broken just yet! Unlike my sister who cried when the boy she liked went out with someone else when she was 12!!! To her it was like the end of the world! It pays not to be a girlie girl or a tart. There seemed to be seconds where we just stayed in the same position, almost kissing, but not just there yet. He closed his eyes slightly and moved in for a kiss. We touched lips and I think I melted in the process! My brain exploded again, just like it had the previous day when I had first laid my eyes on Billie Joe. The REAL Billie Joe, and not my posters. I let Billie Joe do all the work, as he probably knew the ins and outs of kissing. Suddenly, there was a buzzing sound that came from Billie’s pocket. He stopped and awkwardly looked to the side of him that was vibrating.
“Ah,� he groaned, pulling a face and biting his lip.
He laid there motionless deep in thought. He chewed his tongue again and heaved himself from off of me. He rolled into a sitting position next to me and pulled his mobile from his trouser pocket. He sighed looking at the screen and flipped it open before pressing it against his ear.
“Hello?� He asked the person on the other end.
He got from his position and walked into the part of the kitchen where I couldn’t see him. What the fuck just happened? My heart was still racing inside of me. I just committed the most devilish but pleasing crime ever. Pleasing just being a hint of what I was feeling right now. I still lay in my position on the floor next to the glass coffee table from where we had stopped our tickling fight. I propped myself up on my elbows and strained to listen to what Billie Joe was saying.
“Yeah…� I could hear him just. “Everything’s ok…Yeah, don’t worry…. I’m not going to get pissed every night! What makes you think that?�
Billie Joe, you are one convincing guy. No one can ever suspect you when you’re sweet can they?
“I’ll be fine…� he continued. “And yeah, don’t worry about a thing. And yeah, I’ll make sure Mike and Tre don’t go binge drinking either….What do you mean they’re an influence on me? ….Ok then…. Yeah I promise…Love you lots.�
Adrienne. Of course, it HAD to be her. Who else could it be? How stupid was I? Stef, you need to think more often. How many times had I fucked up these last two days? How fucking stupid was I to think that me and Billie Joe could make something together when there was Adrienne? It was kind of ironic really, because we were kissing and Adrienne stopped us even though she was on the phone. Adrienne was always going to stop us, no matter how many miles away she was. I bet you she would even stop Billie in his thoughts and his dreams. Wait; did Billie Joe even have dreams? What the fuck?!? Why was I even imagining this? Billie Joe and I didn’t even have a ‘thing’ going on! Still, Adrienne was his wife and he was her husband. ‘Till death do us part, and that was their promise to each other. I had always stuck up for Adrienne when fans said nasty things about her, I liked her. She WAS Billie Joe’s wife after all, and they were always so happy together. I always used to say ‘We probably wouldn’t even know Adrienne if it wasn’t for Billie Joe, and Billie Joe probably wouldn’t be Billie Joe without Adrienne. So fuck off and leave them alone.’ Sure, I thought Billie Joe was hot, but it didn’t mean I was a psychotic freak who wanted to kill Adrienne! People who said that were sick minded and twisted. I always thought that she was pretty and if Billie Joe was happy, that was all that mattered. But at the moment, she wasn’t my favourite person. Billie Joe came back from the kitchen and put his mobile back into his pocket.
“Adrienne.� He simply said, smiling.
I smiled back and sat up so I could talk to him properly.
“So, when’s the first audition then?� He asked sitting on the sofa next to me.
Wait? Did he not remember what just happened? That we sort of kissed? Obviously not.
“Erm, Audition?� I asked, puzzled and trying to think things out.
“You know,� he said smiling. “The audition to win tickets to one of our gigs?�
“Oh that! Erm, I think it’s on….Thursday.�
“Two days then.� He added, looking at his feet.
God, I wanted his shoes. They were so nice. I just wanted to steal them!
“Right, well I better give you another lesson then after we came back from Amp’s way.�
“Amp’s way?� I asked, still puzzled. Was I just having a dumb day?
“The guitar shop?� He questioned me, getting up off the sofa and grabbing the brown bag that he had brought with him.
“Oh yeah. Sorry, brain ain’t functioning right now.� I told him, trying to make a joke out of nothing. Nothing being a kiss.
What was in that bag anyway? And why hadn’t Billie taken it in that we had kissed? It was as if it had never happened. Why was he acting like this? Maybe he felt awkward or made a mistake. I certainly did at this moment in time. Maybe I should ask him. If I didn’t, it was going to piss me off for the rest of the day. I followed him to the door and I jumped at my chance as he was just opening it.
“ Billie Joe,….I erm…�
He turned round to look at me, stopping to listen.
“Well, I just wanted to know…� I quickly stopped at the sight of Mike in the doorway.
“ Billie,� he called. “I’ve been looking for you. There’s some press guys down stairs who just won’t piss off. Me and Tre have tried to get rid of them but they won’t go until they’ve seen us all.�
Mike leaned into the doorway, stretching his arm out to the other side. Billie looked deep in thought.
“What do they want? My blood and guts?� Billie Joe joked.
Mike laughed.
“No, not this time Billie. Just a photo and few quick questions on the release of Holiday.�
“Oh, ok then. Probably a load of questions on the lyrics AGAIN. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be down.�
“Sure, then hopefully they will fuck and leave us in peace!� Mike laughed, walking back down the corridor and the stairs.
“I’ll see you later then kid. 3 o’ clock. Don’t forget.� Billie Joe smiled at me before shutting thee door and following Mike.
Forget? I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Did I look like the person who would forget that they were going shopping with the hottest guy on the planet? No, didn’t think so.
I walked into my room and threw myself on the bed again. I buried my face deep into the pillows, hoping to find some sense lurking in there. I so desperately wanted to Emma everything, but she wouldn’t believe me. There was no one I could turn to at the moment. Unless a random person didn’t mind me telling them everything. They’d probably turn out to be a Green Day fan and ended up beating me to a pulp. I was stuck and trapped in my own world. I picked up the phone again beside my bed and dialled Emma’s house number. There was no harm in trying again. I was someone who never gave up. I never gave up on my dream on coming to America and meeting Green Day, and looked at what had happened over the period of 2 days. However, it seemed to be doing more harm than favour at the moment. The dialling tone started again and Emma picked up.
“Hello?� Emma asked dreary.
“Emma, what the fuck did you hang up on me?�
“Oh, hi Stef. Come out of Green Day land yet?
“No I haven’t. I need someone to talk to. Someone to tell everything to.� I said, biting my nails I had taken so long to grow.
“Stef, you called me not even an hour ago. What could have possibly happened in the last 50 minutes? And if anything did, I probably wouldn’t believe you.�
“You probably wouldn’t,� I sighed. “But it’s the truth and nothing but the truth.�
“Since when did you get innocent?� Emma asked trying not to laugh.
“Since I want to tell you everything that’s happened with me and Billie Joe, and since I want you to believe me!�
“What IS going on with you and Billie Joe?� Emma asked me, and herself.
“Well,� I began.
“Stef, nothing is going on between you and Billie Joe. You’re probably just imagining it. Stef, he has a wife! And you of all people know how close they are! You’ve followed them for years! Well, Billie Joe but I mean, come on, would he really want to break up his marriage for some punk girl who’s - �
“We kissed!!!� I blurted out, not being able to take any more.
I frowned and ran my fingers over my forehead in thought.
“You what?� She cried. “Stef, this is ridiculous! How could you kiss Billie Joe? I can’t believe you sometimes.�
“But Emma, you got to believe me. Please!�
“Stef, how can I believe you?
“Just please believe me. I called because I wanted to tell someone and talk about it. We did kiss, believe me we did!�
“And yeah, like Billie Joe’s giving you lessons and Green Day are in the room next to you, and you’re in a posh hotel even you me and Anna couldn’t afford together! Like I’m supposed to believe all of that at one time!�
Oh shit. Anna didn’t know where I was either. She didn’t have a clue on what was going on. I’m sure Emma would fill her in though.
“Stef,� Emma started again. “You need to sort yourself out. Get used to the fact. Billie Joe and you never kissed and there is nothing going on between you.�
“But - � I tried to squeeze in the debate.
“Stef, I’ll believe it when I see it. But for now, I don’t.�
And then she hang up, for the second time today.
